In Your Arms

All Too Familiar

Rating: M (not quite smut and cursing)

Spoiler Warnings: None

Theme: #3 – Bandage

Disclaimer: Characters belong to the greatness that is CLAMP. I am merely borrowing so that I may manipulate the hot boys to my liking.

Author's Note: I know nothing about how doctors live their lives or how they perform their job. Of course, I know what I have seen on a few episodes of ER and my occasional visit to the doctor, however everything else here is merely a figment of my imagination. If you find discrepancies or have advice/ details in regards to this chapter, please let me know so that I may make changes to this story. Anything is helpful. Thank you!

He was tired. Not exhausted from working two twelve hours shifts in the past 36 hours, although that was no small part of the entire matter, but a bone deep weariness that had settled somewhere down in his soul. That helped explain, at least a little, why instead of being at home sleeping in his bed, Rikuo was at a local restaurant, sitting at the bar, drinking vodka straight up.

He had been smart enough to order some food to go along with the liquor, so as not to get sick by drinking on an empty stomach and to avoid getting drunk too quickly, but it didn't seem to be working as well as he had hoped. He was already feeling pretty buzzed and still had to drive home. He decided it would be for the best if he stopped drinking and sat around until he sobered up a bit. Rikuo looked around for something to distract himself until he reached such a point.

Across the bar he saw an attractive brunette giving him a good once over and knew that he could easily take her home tonight, if he was so inclined. He wasn't being arrogant but he knew that with his tall, built frame, short dark hair and matching eyes that he gave off an aura of power and mystery, which was something that always intrigued others. He could tell by looking at her what she wanted for the night, anyone with eyes could, but he didn't want her. Not tonight.

Gender had nothing to do with it, it never did, he knew to accept it if he found somebody sexually attractive, although it usually was men whom he ended up in bed with. He'd been with the occasional woman who had caught his interest but he'd learned early on that he much preferred the same sex.

No, he just didn't feel like going home with anybody tonight, he was much more willing to sit around and wallow in his own pity for a while. It usually left him with more self respect in the morning when his mood had passed. He knew; he'd dealt with these feelings before. Getting drunk at a bar after losing a patient wasn't the healthiest way to deal with the problem, but it worked, and most of the time, that was enough.

Turning away from the woman down the bar, he focused his attention elsewhere and simply watched the passing of restaurant patrons and the hustle of waiters and waitresses as they served their guests.

A young man passed by his vision, a tray of drinks balanced precariously in one hand while making his way towards a booth against the wall. He had light brown hair that was left longer than most and feel becomingly around his face, slightly longer strands on one side. He had a thin petite frame with an angelic face and large dark bedroom eyes that held a brilliant defiant spark in them.

Rikuo was instantly attracted to him, considered waiting until the waiters shift had passed to flirt with him a bit, but changed his mind when he remembered that he was not even half way towards the direction of sobriety.

But wearing the house uniform of black trousers, a black button up shirt and a long black apron, he looked much too appealing.

Rikuo decided that if he sat there even a moment longer, seeing that young waiter with the charming smile and long hair that screamed for Rikuo to bury his hands in it and pull their mouths together in a clashing fury of passion, he would simply not be able stop himself from doing something stupid.

Quickly he paid his bill, still ignoring the last lingering look of the woman at the bar and made his way to his car. On the way to his car though, he realized he was still much too drunk to drive home and reached for his cell phone inside his pocket to call for a taxi. It would be easy enough to take a taxi back to restaurant the next afternoon before work.

It was then that Rikuo realized he had left his cell phone in the bar which he couldn't go home without, especially because the hospital might call him if an emergency arose. That and then he would have no way to call a taxi to take his drunk ass home.

Starting on his way back inside, he saw the attractive waiter run outside and to Rikuo's surprise right up to him with his cell phone in hand.

"Excuse me, sir." His cheeks were flushed from the short run. "The bartender said you'd left this inside." He extended his left hand revealing the cell phone.

Perhaps if he hadn't been drunk he wouldn't have done it. He wasn't really sure, considering he was just that, drunk, and in no mood for long trains of rational thought.

He had looked into that boy's dark eyes, eyes that were filled with a desire to be touched, but perhaps he was seeing his own eyes reflected back at him… and could not help himself. He could not break that stare and simply could not resist the temptation, nor did he really want to. He could have easily taken his cell phone back without physical contact but instead Rikuo reached out to run his fingers along the other's forearm, starting with the crook of his elbow and slowly sliding his fingers all the way down, caressing the soft skin of his inner wrist. Rikuo heard the boy's breath hitch, felt his pulse leap beneath his thumb and saw his eyes darken with desire.

What felt like long moments later, Rikuo plucked his phone from the boy's now limp grasp and smirked mischievously. "Thanks."

The waiter seemed to snap out of his shocked state and with a mumbled "goodnight, sir" was headed back into the restaurant.

Rikuo felt like laughing as he dialed information to connect him to a local taxi service.

He had always enjoyed a good challenge.

He'd had the urge to return to the restaurant over the next week, but his hours at work did not allow any time for such actions. Truthfully, he was rather glad of this as he had always believed that fixations were not exactly healthy. Not to mention the fact that he didn't really want the boy to remember him from his night of drunken partial flirting.

But two weeks later when he'd managed to secure three days off in a row, two without being on call, he barely recalled his encounter from close to three weeks ago. It wasn't that he couldn't remember his sudden desire for the attractive waiter but he'd simply chalked it up to a night filled with too much liquor and the slightest bit of depression that had led to a strange mood and even stranger actions.

Rikuo was not the type to fawn over somebody or hold a candle to the wind for some romantic notion. Therefore, when he'd walked into the restaurant one early morning, he'd been more than a little surprised that now, when completely sober, he found the young man just as attractive as he had that night so many weeks ago and possibly even more so now that he was thinking straight.

Rikuo was just manipulative enough to manage being seated in the young man's section and was feeling entirely too pleasant when he sat down and opened up his newspaper.

When the waiter stopped by to take his order, it was obvious he did not remember him from the night not too long ago that would had been ingrained in Rikuo's memory for some time. Throughout the whole breakfast, Rikuo did not do much more than observe the young man when he stopped by his table to refill his coffee and their interaction was quite plain with the exception of that bit of tension, that was always present when two people were obviously attracted to each other.

When bringing Rikuo the check, whether he was genuinely interested or simply playing up the last minute conversation that waiters did to help their tip, he asked, "So, are you going off to work after this?"

Rikuo simply looked up into the young man's eyes for a moment, sending him a challenging look, a look that was plainly asking if he really wanted to go down this path. Rikuo thought he saw the slightest twitch in the other's brow. "No, it's my day off. I just thought I would come by here and enjoy the… atmosphere." Rikuo's smirk let the other know exactly what he was referring to.

For a moment Rikuo thought he might end up with a lap full of hot coffee, he was given such a deathly look but the waiter obviously restrained himself for the sake of keeping his job. Perhaps he had been just curious when he'd asked. Rikuo could barely contain his laughter at the waiter's indignant expression, but his amusement shone through his eyes. He just smiled at the young man, feeling more interested than he had been in a long time.

The other's expression softened just a bit and Rikuo knew, just knew, with absolute certainty how the fate of their meeting would end.

Living life as a good doctor had its perks, that was for sure. You earned enough money to afford a nice car, a big house, pretty much anything you wanted within reason. You were given a healthy amount of respect for working in your chosen field and were most often times regarded as a hero.

Of course, the opposite was also true, being a doctor had many terrible aspects involved in it, the loss of life, the responsibility of holding a person's life in your hands, telling family members about the death of a loved one, were all parts of the job that flat out were loathed.

But at that moment, Rikuo hated nothing more than the shitty hours that were involved with the job, especially working the Emergency Room. It was 4:30am, his shift was almost over and he would have come close to killing for a cup of coffee after pulling off his most recent double shift at the hospital. It had been mostly a quiet night, nothing more serious than young children with high fevers, broken bones and other various serious but not life threatening injuries. Hoping to make it another half an hour until the end of his shift without another patient was simply too much to hope for though, as a young nursing assistant informed him that a routine burn was waiting for him in one of the many Exam rooms.

Once he reached the outside of the room, Rikuo tried to tell himself that it was almost over and soon he would be able to go home. Still it was hard, he was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to fall into his own comfortable king sized bed. On quiet nights like these, it was hard to stay awake without the adrenaline that came with serious accidents or injuries. Not to say he wanted those, of course, just that it was a whole lot easier to stay awake without your mind focused on the comfort of your own bed.

Steeling himself, he pushed open the door only to come face to face with what had been the source of his wet dreams for the past month. Great, he thought sarcastically, just what I need to end this night with.

He had always felt a certain connection with the younger man who was a waiter at a bar he frequented after work. He'd been to the restaurant a few more times since his last visit but he'd had little other interaction with the man. It wasn't that they weren't interested in each other, both knew, could feel the underlying spark between them; they were just enjoying the game. Rikuo was enjoying it because he knew how it would end and knew from experience that their game of cat and mouse was just another slower form of foreplay.

Kazahaya, he had learned the young man's name was, was simply the more naïve type who enjoyed their flirting and shared looks, but probably wasn't sure where the entire matter was heading. The aforementioned waiter was seated in a plastic chair with half of his shirt unbuttoned and pulled off, exposing a painfully large looking but none-too-serious burn on his forearm.

His pale skin was flushed under the bright lights, most likely from the pain of his injury and Rikuo could see the trail of fine blond hairs that led a tantalizing path down to the waistband of his black trousers. Trying to remember that he was here in a professional capacity and not here to molest the boy, he decided to get down to business (although it was hard not to turn that into an innuendo this late at night).

When Kazahaya looked up and saw him, his face was a mixture of shock and relief. During their very brief actual conversations at the restaurant, he had told Kazahaya his name but never specifics like what he did for a living. He felt like maybe something, anything, should be said, but he simply didn't know what.

Making brief eye contact, Rikuo settled down to work on the small burn. It was difficult to concentrate without focusing on the boy's exposed skin or the softness of flesh, but he distracted himself and Kazahaya as he always did with all of his patients. Making small talk was always a good idea, as it put the patient at ease and took their mind off whatever the doctor was doing to them.

Through this, he learned that Kazahaya had received his burn during the late night shift of his job, when during a rush in the kitchen, he'd gotten a bit too close to a hot pan.

All in all, he was acting like the cheerful kid he was (who was in his defense not a kid because he was 24, something listed on his vitals sheet that Rikuo had seen) but seemed totally oblivious to the fact that the whole situation seemed somewhat awkward. They knew each other, no matter how very little interaction they had shared, had flirted with each other, Rikuo had even made a subtle pass at him several times, but still they were acting as doctor and patient. Although, Rikuo admitted, right now at this exact moment they really were doctor and patient, but it still did not feel right to him.

He finished things up by wrapping a bandage around Kazahaya's arm (he had never been able to bring himself to call him Kudo in his mind considering he'd been dreaming about the man) and giving him a prescription for a salve and some pain medication.

Kazahaya thanked him quite ecstatically, addressing him as "Himura-sensei", showing that the shot of medication the nurse had hit him up with when he came in was finally working, and stood up to put his shirt back on properly. Rikuo, in a move far from doctor/ patient status, halted Kazahaya's movements and gently helped him put his arm back into the sleeve of his shirt. Rikuo knew the man was not incapacitated or anything close to it from something as simple as a burn, but that did not stop him from continuing to help Kazahaya with getting dressed. His fingers took on a life of their own as they started to button up Kazahaya's shirt, all the while brushing the bare flesh just above each individual button as his hand moved upwards.

Kazahaya, looking rather glassy-eyed, thanked him again and said he needed to go check himself out.

Rikuo thanked the gods that his shift was finally over as he hung up his white coat on the back of his office door. His shift might have been over, but he knew that it would be a while before he would be sleeping.

He was waiting outside for him, when Kazahaya stepped out. His tone was sharper than intended from his exhaustion. "How did you get here?"

Kazahaya just smiled, still feeling the effects of the earlier administered drugs. "A co-worker drove me down here."

It wasn't that Rikuo was a man of few words, he had no trouble with being a friendly person when needed to be, it was simply that he felt his patience was beginning to run thin. His words were clipped. "Come on then."

Kazahaya didn't even blink at the command and simply began following Rikuo to his car (the BMW was one of the perks, of course) and was buckled up in the moving car, being asked for directions to his apartment, when where he was finally seemed to sink in. "Oh, Himura-sensei you don't need to drive me home. I can take the bus."

"Don't call me that. I'm not your doctor." That much was true. He had only administered treatment to him in the ER for a total of about 15 minutes in which Rikuo had spent most of that time dreaming about bending him over the nearby bed and pressing his erection into Kazahaya's ass just to feel the skin touch sweetly.

"Okay, anyways, you can just let me out here."

"I said no."

Usually when he teased Kazahaya at the restaurant, he would hold in his temper, but they were no longer waiter and customer, or doctor and patient. "Are you trying to order me around, you jerk?"

"That's not exactly what I meant when I told you not to call me Himura-sensei. I was thinking something more along the lines of my first name."

When Rikuo looked over at him, seeing Kazahaya's face flushed with anger, his hair tangled from the crazy night, and the defiant spark in his eyes, he knew how the night would end.

"Look, I'm just trying to do you a favor. You're obviously extremely tired and I can tell that the medication the nurse gave you hasn't worn off and you're not quite yourself. I'm just trying to get you home safe, is that such a bad thing?"

Kazahaya slumped down in defeat, not even realizing that during the whole argument Rikuo was driving towards his own luxury apartment. So quietly, Rikuo barely heard it, Kazahaya muttered a belated, "thank you" before closing his eyes and yielding to the exhaustion of the night and recent events.

The next thing Kazahaya knew he was being helped out of the car and up a staircase, his protests being quieted by Rikuo who told him he could sleep in the guest bedroom.

Knowing he couldn't win the argument, not even really caring, because he knew Rikuo marginally well and wasn't afraid of what would happen, he agreed to stay the night sleeping in the spare bed.

Kazahaya was more than impressed with Rikuo's apartments, but he supposed that this was what people who made the kind of money doctors made could afford. The furniture and décor were elegant and simple, but obviously expensive.

Still feeling a foggy haze settled over him, he allowed himself to be led to the spare bedroom, which was close to the size of his entire apartment. He didn't even think he was walking anymore; it was more of him shuffling his feet in a parody of the act while Rikuo carried him along.

He felt his shoes being slipped off, he was now sitting on the edge of the luxurious bed and next thing he knew, his shirt was being unbuttoned and pulled off as well. He might have felt some embarrassment over his remaining modesty but was simply too tired to care and felt rather comfortable in Rikuo's presence. It all felt so familiar; like in another realm he had been comforted and taken care of by this man a million times.

Rikuo was messing with the bandage on his arm now, saying something about wanting to look at the burn and Kazahaya simply sat with his eyes closed for several minutes feeling near a nirvana-like state.

He was being lowered into the bed, slipping under the covers and when he opened his eyes and saw Rikuo's gentle expression and his arms around him. In that moment, Kazahaya knew so strongly that he'd lived this moment before that he did not even consider his actions before he found himself doing them.

Rikuo's lips were so soft, softer than he had imagined, and his short hair between his fingers felt as soft as silk. Rikuo's tongue was tracing along the seam of lips, asking for something, and Kazahaya answered the query by opening his mouth to admit the entrance of his tongue.

Together their mouths met in not what Rikuo had imagined as their first kiss, a clashing of passion and raw feeling with teeth and tongue, but in a moment of sweet intimacy in which everything was shy and tentative and nothing like he had ever experienced. Kazahaya tasted like tea and honey and sugar and something indefinable but incredibly sexy. Rikuo felt like he could lie there all night and simply be happy with exploring this man's mouth. He could have been happy with that, but he didn't want to be.

Slowly he pushed the covers away from Kazahaya's body and lowered himself from his half risen position above Kazahaya and blanketed his body over the other's wishing he was not wearing the bothersome confinements of clothing.

Rikuo was now moving his mouth down the pale column of Kazahaya's neck, nipping and sucking, while Kazahaya was making the most delicious sounds of pleasure. Rikuo grinded their erections together making Kazahaya arch up and he heard him moan his enjoyment as he skimmed his hand up to tweak one pink nipple.

Rikuo was not sure how far things would have went had he not looked up into Kazahaya's unfocused eyes at that moment, but he knew that he would not have stopped until they were both sweating and satisfied. When Rikuo had looked into his face he'd seen that Kazahaya was aware of what they were doing, but was still not completely himself. Nothing would be worse than having Kazahaya wake the next morning with regrets. As much as Rikuo wanted Kazahaya, he didn't want to be a bad memory or the trigger of an emotion like shame or embarrassment the next day.

Not only that, but he'd had a feeling and tonight had only cemented that thought, that Kazahaya was perhaps not a virgin but surely had never been with another man before. He had no problems being his first, actually sort of reveled in the thought, but even as an unsentimental man, he knew this was no way for such an event to take place.

Not quite pushing Kazahaya away, but definitely pulling away, Rikuo tried to gain some semblance of sanity again. He faced that confused expression on Kazahaya's face, almost changed his mind by the looks of Kazahaya's pink wet lips and eyes filled with desire, but spoke with as much certainty as he could muster. "I'm not going to apologize for this, because I'm really, I'm not sorry, but I don't think this is right."

He saw the hurt look on Kazahaya's face and immediately tried to clarify his earlier statement, "I mean tonight isn't right. Not this, not us."

He could no longer see Kazahaya's expression as his face was now hidden by the curtain of his hair as he bent his head down low, so he had no clue what exactly Kazahaya meant by his uttered "oh".

Rikuo got up and left the room, hating himself for playing the knight in shining armor, a part he had always disliked by somehow found himself playing more often than not. He returned a few minutes later with a glass of water and a dose of the pain medication. He set both on the nightstand and was about to turn away, but found he could not drag his eyes from the sleeping figure on the middle of the bed.

He sat down on the edge of the bed wondering how the in the hell this night had ended up this way but could not seem to stay focused. He was so tired from the long day at work and normally he liked to take a shower when he got home to wash off the smell of disinfectant but he was becoming more entranced by the sight lying on his side in his guest bed and suddenly it seemed like the best idea in the world to just rest his eyes for a minute with his head on the pillow and an arm around the tiny waist of Kazahaya, just for a minute really…

Rikuo was not the type to wake up disoriented or remembering only half the night's events, even when he had a good deal of liquor in him, and the next morning was no different. He'd woken up remembering where he was with perfect crystal clarity and did not need to stop and wonder why he wasn't in his bed.

He only hoped Kazahaya was the same type because he'd opened his eyes to see Kazahaya looking at him with a speculative gleam deep in his eyes. Could he remember that things had stopped? That their sleeping in the same bed was not an indication of things that had happened last night? Especially considering Rikuo was still fully dressed and Kazahaya was missing nothing except for a shirt.

Rikuo really hoped so because he was not in the mood for hysterics or lots of questions in the morning, was not much of a morning person at all actually, and wanted nothing more than a hot shower and a cup of coffee. He really wouldn't mind a good morning-fuck either, but he was not the type to disillusion himself.

But then, he didn't know why he was so blessed, but he really felt he had been when in the next moment Kazahaya gave him a simple smile, so genuinely real, and said "Good morning, Rikuo" in that sleep roughened voice he had, that was not intentional but sexy as hell nonetheless.

Rikuo could not help but notice that his arm was still wrapped around Kazahaya's waist and curled around his hipbone like they had spent the night together in a loving embrace. He returned the "good morning" in rough voice as well, but knew it was from more than just sleep.

Managing to wrench himself away, he got out of the bed and handed Kazahaya what he'd left on the bed table last night, the medication and glass of water. "I'm gonna go jump in the shower. Feel free to get something out of the kitchen if you want."

When Rikuo stepped out of the shower, fully dressed 25 minutes later, it was to find Kazahaya in his kitchen with nothing more than a cup of coffee and the same black trousers from last night. He still wasn't wearing a shirt, nothing above his waist with the exception of the bandage he'd wrapped around his arm last night.

He felt the need to ask what seemed like a semi-important question as he began making a simple breakfast of eggs and rice. "Do you have to work today?"

Kazahaya answered as if nothing was amiss between them, and perhaps, Rikuo thought, there wasn't. "No, last night before they took me to the ER they told me to take the next few days off. You?"

"Not until tomorrow at noon." It was currently nearing 3pm.

"So, uhh…" Rikuo couldn't see Kazahaya, but had a feeling he was looking pretty sheepish as he stumbled over his words. "Thanks for last night and all. I appreciate all of your…um, help."

Rikuo knew what he was trying to say. He was, of course happy that he'd given him a ride home, but more than likely thankful Rikuo hadn't taken things further than Kazahaya would have been able to handle, no matter how willing he'd been the night before. "I understand."

Rikuo could hear the smile in Kazahaya's voice, "Yeah, I kinda thought you would." He looked around as Rikuo set two plates in front of them, "Nice place you got here. I guess this is what you can afford if you're a doctor, eh?"

"Might as well get something good out of it," Rikuo muttered bitterly. It wasn't that he hated his job, just the hours and the endless dedication that sometimes ended in tragedies that made him want to get drunk, just to forget everything for a few hours.

To his credit, Kazahaya ignored that as if he hadn't heard it, knowing that he hadn't meant it with any real feeling, and just took another bite of his eggs. "This is really good by the way. A lot better than my cooking."

Rikuo knew he had on a shit-eating grin. "I take it that's why you wait tables and don't work back in the kitchen, eh?"

Kazahaya laughed. "Something like that, yeah."

They managed to finish breakfast maintaining a comfortable banter with Kazahaya occasionally getting riled up and calling Rikuo an "arrogant bastard" or "jerk", but Rikuo simply found the whole thing kind of amusing and endearing.

"I guess I should head on home, now. Where is the nearest bus stop to your apartment?"

Rikuo tried to hide his self satisfied smirk. "I'll drive you." Kazahaya went to go find his shirt and shoes, while Rikuo put their plates and cups in the sink and grabbed his car keys.

A few minutes later they were back in Rikuo's car making the short ten minute drive to Kazahaya's apartment complex. The drive had been made in relative silence until, "So how old are you anyways?"

Rikuo, not usually taken off guard, but surprised by Kazahaya's bluntness, simply stared with his mouth open for a moment, when Kazahaya realized he might have been a bit rude. "I'm sorry, I ju-"

"No, it's okay. I just wasn't expecting that. I'm 29."

That seemed to satisfy Kazahaya for the moment as he sank back in the comfortable interior of Rikuo's BMW, seeming to contemplate that for several moments, until what felt like seconds later, they were outside of Kazahaya's apartment complex.

Kazahaya apparently felt the need to take the safe route out and ended things by jumping out of the car with a quick, "Thanks, I'll see you later."

Rikuo didn't mind. He'd known since the beginning where this was going and their fate was still hadn't changed. Not that he believed in the sappy notion of fate though, this was just different.

A few days later Rikuo was waiting outside of the restaurant Kazahaya worked at, knowing that Kazahaya would be getting off any moment. It was nearing 9:00pm and the stars were shining brightly outside. He was leaning against the wall with his eyes closed, merely enjoying the cool night air when he heard Kazahaya finally leaving. He stepped into his path.

Kazahaya looked at him with something similar to shock in his eyes, maybe he'd thought that he wouldn't be seeing Rikuo again or perhaps not seeing him again so soon after their last encounter. Rikuo, never one to make a difficult situation easier, simply stood there while Kazahaya continued to stare. Rikuo couldn't help himself, "Like what you see?"

The fire in his eyes flared. "You jerk, I was just sur-"

"I thought maybe you wanted to go out for a drink."

"I was only- What did you just say?"

Rikuo smirked, "Let me explain this in terms you can understand."

He pulled Kazahaya by his wrist into the dark alleyway between the restaurant and the parking lot and pushed him against the wall. This time, when their lips met, it was everything Rikuo had imagined that first kiss to be, except it was no longer their first kiss. It was filled with raw emotion, desire, and something else beneath the surface. Their mouths melded together into a sweet fusion of innocence and sin, of sugar and spice and everything in between. When Rikuo pulled away after a brief all too unsatisfied moment and whispered in Kazahaya's ear, "I want to buy you a drink" and finished it all off with a sensuous lick of Kazahaya's earlobe, he knew that life had just gotten a hell of a lot more interesting.

daily use of this drug may cause poisoning…