He Had It Coming! By Valterra
Disclaimer: I don't own any of it! Not the Harry Potter, True dating service, or whatever company the ninja ad was for. Don't sue me, I'm broke. I'm just writing this story on a muse and in hopes that someone will like it.
Summary: Fred and George discover the delights of Muggle advertising.
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Fred and George weren't the types to abide by rules, never have been, probably never will be. They didn't abide rules set by the Ministry, their Hogwarts professors, and certainly not by their resident Publicity Manager, Katherine Ann Bell. Fred and George simply loved breaking rule set by Katie (or anyone else for that matter); from raiding her panty drawer to hacking into her computer (which was their current occupation) if it was off-limits, they were up to it.
Unfortunately, Fred and George weren't exactly the best computer hackers, especially when it came to passwords.
"Try Quidditch," suggested Fred.
"Tried it already," muttered George, typing a new password into the box.
"Chaser?" offered Fred.
"Nope," said George.
"This is proving more difficult then I anticipated," mused Fred.
"I got it! It's Iloveoliverwood!" cried George.
Fred raised an eyebrow in the direction of his twin.
"Well it's worth a shot, isn't it?" said George in his defense.
"I guess so."
-
"I can't believe that was actually her password," remarked Fred.
"And you doubted it," said George, with a smirk.
"Which girl doesn't have a crush on Oliver Wood, the hottest Quidditch player in Europe?"
"The Keeper of Katie's heart!" said Fred with a chortle.
"And all the other girls' in the wizarding world," said George, mimicking Fred's earlier smirk.
"But Katie can claim something many other fangirls cannot!"
"And what might that be, dear brother?" asked George.
"That she went to school with the infamous Oliver Wood-"
"-Suffered through his rigorous five A.M. Quidditch practices-"
"-And gave him the best shag Hogwarts has ever seen!"
"I somehow knew I would find you two up here," said the subject of the conversation in a voice laced with venom.
The two boys jumped slightly and turned their heads to stare guiltily at the brunette as she processed towards the twins huddled around her computer, murder written on her face.
"Katie ol' girl, didn't notice you there!" said George in a falsely cheerful voice.
"Obviously," she said. "Not looking at knicker ads, I hope."
"Oh no, of course not," said Fred, immensely relieved Katie wasn't going to rip their throats out for touching her off-limits computer.
"But Iloveoliverwood, now that is tacky," remarked George.
"But I'm sure Oliver won't be disappointed to know that you love him," said Fred, a grin stretching across his face.
"You wouldn't dare," said Katie.
"Ye- OW! Fred! Er… of course not!" George finally managed to sputter, rubbing his arm where Fred had elbowed him.
"Why do I not believe you?" asked Katie, sighing.
"Advertisements!" exclaimed Fred gleefully, changing the subject. George leaned forward until his nose was practically pressed against the computer screen.
"Where?"
"Up in that corner, you nimwit," he said.
An advertisement for True dating service decorated that particular corner of the screen, the words 'love is blind but we know you aren't' were written on top of the picture of a particularly busty female in a very low-cut blouse.
"Ooh," said the boys together, grinning wickedly. "No we're not."
Katie did not hesitate to press the F5 key.
Refresh.
"Hey! Katie! We were having fun!"
"Yes, being perverts."
"Being a pervert can be fun."
"I'm sure it can," said Katie dryly.
The new ad in the corner showed a black-clad ninja, chucking throwing stars in their direction. Every time one came close enough to "impact" them, the ad flashed red before returning to the ninja, only to flash red twice more before the advertisement blinked you lose.
"I most certainly am not a loser!" cried Fred, grabbing the mouse from George and moving it to the ad as it restarted, the ninja again hopping into view against the moonlit sky of the advertisement.
"Don't click tha-" said Katie, words dying in her throat as Fred clicked.
Immediately, popup ads began filling the screen rapidly as Katie shrilly screamed at Fred to do something. In a second's time, the screen blinked black and the computer turned off.
"Oops?" said Fred as Katie pushed the button to start the computer again. No response from the computer.
"He had it coming!" cried George indignantly; Fred nodding vigorously from his seat to George's left. Not amused, Katie curled both hands into fists and bonked them both on the head.
"You'd better hope I can fix this or you're both in big trouble," she declared. She promptly lowered her bum to the floor and began ripping various wires from the back of the computer. Half an hour later, a colorful jet of sparks shot from the rear of the computer and from Katie's mouth an equally colorful display of language found its way to the surface. Amusement clearly showed on Fred and George's faces.
"Why bother with all those wires when the solution is just the wave of the wand away?" asked Fred in a casual way, sliding his hand into his pocket and withdrawing his wand.
"No!" said Katie forcefully, grabbing his wand and stuffing it into the back pocket of her jeans. "This is a Muggle object, Fred. Using magic on it would fry it."
Fred looked at the current state of the computer and refrained from comment. George coughed subtly.
Katie noticed.
She bonked them over the head again.
"You two are unbelievable."
"Why thank you, Katsies."
"Don't—call me that."
"As you wish, Katsies," they chorused.
Bonk.
-
"I hate you both," declared Katie.
"Hate is a strong word, Katie dear," said George, beaming at Katie's distress.
The trio sat in front of Katie's disassembled computer many hours later, faces blackened with soot. In fact, disassembled was a compliment to state of ruins Katie's computer was now in. Apparently, stealing Fred's wand had been a very bad idea; a very, very bad idea. Fred and George had definitely learned a lesson today; an angry Katie and a wand just did not mix well. It had taken the pair a full hour to wrench the wand from her hand (mostly because their fear of ending up like the charred remains of her computer, which Katie now stared sadly at.)
"It was a good computer," she said, patting the side awkwardly, eyes narrowing as a spark flew off the blackened shell.
Unconsciously, Fred patted his back pocket to assure himself that his wand was safe from Katie's clutches.
The brunette glared at the twins.
"This is your fault."
The two realized that her anger had shifted from the computer to them.
"Of course," said Fred, draping an arm over her shoulder.
"Ours entirely," said George, draping his arm across her other shoulder.
"Fortunately-" said Fred.
"-we know-," said George.
"-exactly the thing to cure this!" they cried in unison.
"You need to stop this whole finishing each others' sentences thing. It's creeping me out," said Katie, shaking her head.
They just grinned.
"No more magic," she grumbled.
Fred and George again grinned and pulled Katie to her feet. She looped her arms through their offered elbows and the trio strolled from the warmth of Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes into the cool night air of Diagon Alley.
-
"Do you want to start snogging to fit in?" asked Fred, glancing at the couples kissing at the tables surrounding them at Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor.
"Because you know we'd be more then happy to oblige," said George, leaning across the table with his lips puckered.
Katie pushed her palm into his face and shoved him back into his seat. George began to sniffle before breaking into loud, wracking sobs. Fred immediately began consoling his brother.
"Don't worry about it, bro. She's still a tad upset over her comput-" he paused seeing the murderous look on Katie's face, "-er? Well it's nothing that ice cream can't fix."
George continued to fake sob. Very loudly, Katie would like to add. Many of the couples fused at the lips around them pulled apart to send glares their way before returning to trying to suck each others' faces off.
"George, you big baby," said Katie, prying his hands away from his face. She quickly leaned across the table and pecked him on the lips.
George immediately shut up.
"Hey, why don't I get a kiss?" pouted Fred.
"If you could call it that," said Katie sourly.
"Then why does George get a pet name?"
"That's not true!"
"You called him baby," said Fred.
"As an insult!" cried Katie indignantly.
"Well, I for one think you should start calling me Freddiekins or Freddie-poo from now on."
"How about just plain poo?" smirked Katie.
"Oh, that's not nice, Katie darling," said Fred.
"You two are awful," said Katie.
"We try," said George, regaining his voice.
"I can't take you anywhere without you making a scene," continued Katie.
"It is great publicity," argued Fred.
"Yes, to the fact you have to be two of the most immature businessmen in the entire world."
"Then it's great we have you as a babysitter!"
"I'm a publicity manager, not a babysitter," said Katie.
"I'd say you're a bit of both, actually," remarked George.
Katie decided it was time to change course.
"You two are excellent at acting. Why, if you weren't the incredible and established, not to mention handsome-" Fred and George batted their eyelashes and giggled, "-businessmen you might consider a career in Muggle acting."
"As much as we'd love for you to continue with your flattery, we first must inquire whether or not you are looking for a pay raise."
Katie pretended to look aghast, "of course not!"
A comfortable silence, before-
"You're never given me one before."
"We thought the dragon-leather jacket made up for it," said Fred.
"The dragon-leather jacket that turned me into a walking advertisement for product testers that is now lying crumpled at the bottom of my closet?"
"Yes, I believe that's the one," said George with a grin.
Shortly following, their ice creams were delivered and they sat in silence for a while, until Fred broke it.
"So, did you or did you not shag Oliver Wood?"
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