Disclaimer: If I owned this show, I'm pretty sure it would end up on HBO.

Warnings: m/m slash, f/f slash, implied sex

Notes: This is a series of frabbles --- fucked up drabbles --- I wrote on Livejournal because I was so bored. People prompted me with a pairing, a scenario, a line of poetry, whatever, and I worked my magic. Some of the following have slash tendencies, and some of them are quite squicky. There. You've been warned.

Dedication: For my lovelies over on LJ. You know who you are, but to protect you from the abhorred masses, I will refrain from naming names.

It's like last summer again, only without the obligatory crying sessions in Dr. Dan's office. Joan's scalp tingles as Judith tugs on her hair, twisting it into a French braid. The door is locked, and Judith screams at her roommate to get lost when Kathleen knocks."Dr. Dan wants to know what we do in here all day," Joan tells Judith.

"Braiding each other's hair and lesbian experimentation," says Judith, who laughs at Joan's reaction. "I'm just kidding, JoJo. You're way too tense." She finishes the braid and secures it with an elastic.

Joan turns around and Judith is smiling so big, Joan reaches up and touches Judith's face with her finger.

Her skin is cold.

Joan wakes up crying.

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. truth .

If anybody asked Luke, he'd swear that he didn't mean to do it on purpose. It's not like he deliberately went out of his way to look.

It doesn't matter, because nobody is going to ask him, and even if someone does, Luke is never going to tell. (And even if he told, would anybody believe him? It would be his word against Kevin's, and when it comes down to jock versus geek, Darwinistic evolution has proved that the former will inevitably have the upper hand.)

What Luke saw is this: his older brother and his older brother's best friend, pressed up against the wall of the seniors' locker room, kissing.

It doesn't matter what Luke saw, because Kevin Girardi --- Prom King, Superstar, Golden Boy --- Kevin Girardi is not gay. He just isn't, so there's no point in talking about it.

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. tension .

Grace understands that Friedman is grieving over Judith, but she also understands that if he lets it slip out about her and Rocket Boy, she'll have no choice but to kill him. Her mother's just bought a new set of meat cleavers --- drunks are particularly susceptible to door-to-door salespeople --- and Grace looks forward to putting them to good use.

She keeps an eye on Friedman in school, an act which makes both of them squirm. "Look, Marge," he deadpans, "I know there's sexual tension between us, but you've got to think of Luke."

Grace slaps him upside the head. "Shut it, freakshow. I'm just making sure you keep your mouth shut. Do I make it clear, or do I have to tattoo it on you with this ballpoint pen?"

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. savior .

Adam used to imagine what it would be like with Jane. They would be nervous and it would be awkward but everything would turn out all right because he loved her and she loved him.

With Bonnie, it was just stupid. No thinking involved. Not enough, at least. They were nervous and it was awkward, and everything came crashing down after.

Ryan knows what he's doing. He knows what he wants, and he knows what Adam wants. Afterwards, he finger-combs Adam's hair lightly, whispering in small voices. He lets Adam in the way Jane never did, and Adam knows he can trust Ryan.

"Tell me Joan's secret," Ryan says. His breath is hot against Adam's ear, his words like a song.

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. beatitudes .

Lilly comes over Wednesday afternoons to go over the Catechism with Helen. They talk about the beatitudes, since it's too awkward to talk about Lilly's love life, now that she's dating Kevin.

Kevin comes home early from time to time, and Helen catches him sneaking smiles at Lilly. Helen pretends she doesn't see it, and braces for the day that Kevin will tell her that he and Lilly aren't seeing each other anymore.

Helen knows she will never lose Kevin. He is her son, her precious boy, and he was hers right from the start. She needs him; she's always known that.

Lilly is her Confirmation sponsor, but more than that, Lilly's her friend. It's lonely here in Arcadia, divorced from her former life in Chicago. Sometimes, Helen thinks she needs Lilly too.

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. faith .

At Gentle Acres, they give Joan something to help her sleep. It leaves Joan cotton-mouthed and dizzy, so she never takes it. She flits in and out of sleep every night, and in her dreams, she sees him again.

Once, he appears in his goth garb. She runs her hands on top of his hair and laughs when the spikes prickle her skin. She thumbs the silver stud in his nose and asks, "Did this hurt?" He smiles, but does not answer.

She wakes up, alone, her pillow encrusted with sweat and salt. She feels stupid now, because she knows he's not real. Like the tooth fairy, and, according to Grace, the Apollo moon landing.

It hurts more though, him being not real. Because Joan didn't believe in the tooth fairy, but Joan believed in God.

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