Hush

Part III

News of Kagome Higurashi's suicide spread like wildfire amongst the students. It was the talk of the high school. The school was in a rather remote area and nothing of much interest ever occurred here. Occasionally a car accident would happen, maybe a student would bring a bottle of alcohol to school, but suicide … suicide was unheard of. It was a sin! Yes, all the students would say. She'll go to hell for it! And maybe, after hearing that, a non existent student somewhere would say that maybe she was in a better place.

The school held a small sermon for her in the cafeteria. The entire tenth grade attended, but only because they had to. He stood somberly throughout the whole thing, trying to ignore the disgusting behavior in part of the students. They were playing around, laughing and throwing paper balls at each other. It made him feel queasy. A few of her teachers came up to the stage and talked about what a bright and intelligent girl she was. How she was always polite and kind and how she would be missed. A student council member walked up and gave a short speech on why she was so great, describing her sunny personality and how kind and bright she was and what a shame it was she was gone.

The gossip in the school was that she had taken a knife and stabbed it right into her chest … but that was just gossip. What had actually occurred was she had overdosed on a drug, no one knew which, except the forensics officials. She was found in her bathroom, curled into a small ball, wearing nothing more that a skirt, a shirt and a gray sweat jacketwith the letter 'I' on it. And if you had seen her, you would have thought she was sleeping. Her skin was naturally pale, after all.

Inu Yasha received this information by means of a letter the school sent out to everyone two days after her death. No one in her house hold even realized she was dead until the morning after her death. Her mother came in to wake her and she wasn't in bed and she went into the bathroom to use it and there was her daughter, lying on the bathroom floor, a pale gray blue in the unlit bathroom. The woman prodded her back with her shoe and said,

"Kagome, what the hell are you doing sleeping in your bathroom?" The girl didn't move and she realized something was wrong.

Inu Yasha had received the letter, which was handed to him by his home room teacher and was given instructions not to open it until he got home. He didn't think much of it. After all it was probably just some letter about his academic progress. And then he got home, took it out of his bag, read it, and screamed. He screamed because he didn't know what to say. And there was nothing to say about it. She had died. And that was that. But it felt like a knife through his stomach. He couldn't help but think, it was all his fault.

He had been in a bad mood the rest of the week. Somehow, this girl he had only met once and who he hadn't heard but ten words from … her death caused him so much pain. He never knew … all this time … all of the teasing, all of the cruelty, all of the sick and disgusting behavior from these idiot high school children would lead to this. No one ever stopped to think about her. No one even cared that she died.

Kagome Higurashi was no longer a human being, a pitiable soul or spirit, not even a person. She was the hottest gossip you could find for miles. And that was all. She was a flash in the news, a file, soon to be put away in an enormous filing room where she would be lost forever. And soon … she would be forgotten. And no one would cry, no one would even care.

But what he hated more than this suicide … no … this murder was the way people regarded her death. "She what?" 'Yeah, killed herself. Heard she stabbed herself to death.' "Wow. Oh well. I didn't really know her well. She was kind of weird." 'Yeah. She was.'

But that wasn't even half as bad as some people. The fake people who put on sad faces. The ones who, in her life never knew her, but act like her best friend now that she died. When a news reporter came to the school and interviewed a bunch of girls, they blubbered on and on about how much they loved her and how much of a sweet and caring person Kagome Higurashi really was. It made him sick. How could people just lie like that! How could they? He didn't know her. No, he never even knew who she was. Maybe … had he intervened earlier all this could have been prevented. Maybe he could have saved her. Maybe he could have, but now he would never know.

Kagome's mother was taken into custody the day the officers came to investigate Kagome's death. The woman, as it turns out was a cocaine addict. This information was kept confidential of course. Even the school didn't know. And Inu Yasha didn't know. A good thing too because he would have been even further infuriated. Kagome was so brittle and fragile. So breakable. And yet everyone felt the need to damage this small defenseless girl. But they needed not such force to break so weak a creature.

And Inu Yasha spent hours in his room trying to make sense of everything. Of why she felt the need to end her life. Of why everyone treated her the way they did. Of why he hadn't seen this coming. Of why he didn't do a thing to stop it.

Come to think of it … her suicide was impregnable. Perhaps everyone knew it was coming and that's why they avoided her the way they did. Anyone with eyes could see Kagome Higurashi; the strange mute, the outcasted twig of a girl, devoid of social status, and completely strange and weird. But if you looked closer you could see what was really inside of her … Pain, turmoil, loneliness. She was screaming for help all along … but no one stopped to listen to her. Because people only hear what they want to hear, and nobody wants to hear the screams of their victim.

Why that, that would make someone … guilty.

And nobody loves to feel guilt.

In Inu Yasha's mind, this death was no longer a suicide. Kagome Higurashi had not simply ended her life. Her life was taken before she died! Those … things, those creatures at his school … it was their fault. They killed her! They murdered her and left her to die, and they didn't even care! They weren't people they were monsters! Hideous beasts, lower than human! How could they! How could they just kill so mercilessly? Didn't they ever stop once- just once - to think about what they were doing? About how much they were hurting so innocent a victim? No of course not. Because they were too busy having fun. And in his eyes, the monster was not her, no- it was never her, it was them.

But more importantly, it was him. He was one of them. A beast, a monster. He watched them murder her, and did nothing. And how could he have? Why didn't he realize earlier? He could, have stopped this, prevented it somehow … he just knew it. Yet, he did nothing.

He should have seen it coming. Looking back on it, he now saw all the pain, all the anguish in her eyes. Such sad pitiful eyes, leaking with emotions that no one cared about. He should have known. He should have been kinder. And he couldn't help but think …

Isn't it funny … how the loudest cries for help … are the ones that no one can hear?

---

He jammed his fists into his pockets and looked up at the sky. The cloudy gray sea left him feeling gloomy and down. Hell, he had been feeling that way all week. Ever since the news of her suicide, he hadn't felt … right. She was so … unthreatening. All she did was sit quietly and walk to her classes. Yet, everyone loved to hurt her.

Sango and Miroku weren't affected much by the news of her death. Sure, she was an okay girl, but they didn't know her. Inu Yasha's assumption was correct. Yesterday, Miroku had asked Sango out and Sango said 'Yes!' And then after some thought she added in with a growl 'Well, pht, I don't have anything else better to do. I guess.'

He sighed and continued walking home. His mother couldn't pick him up yet again, and he was forced to walk home. He began to suspect his mother was just lazy. All these late nights she spent working … one had to wonder.

Sango and Miroku had been worrying a lot about him. He was after all, Miroku's best friend since third grade. Sango had started to worry that maybe he was depressed. She didn't really understand why. He hadn't told them that he walked her home on the day of her suicide. For all they knew, he was just upset about being grounded or something like that.

He was grateful it was Friday. That meant he had a whole weekend to sort his thoughts out. To try to make sense of everything that had happened. This whole thing had left his head spinning. All the lies, all the apathy. He didn't know which upset him more.

But what confused him most was why he was upset at all. He didn't know Kagome. She had hardly said but ten words to him. He had never talked to her, noticed her, or paid pretty much any attention to her at all whatsoever. But yet, it was so painful. Maybe because he was so sure that all this could have been prevented. He decided he should sit on his porch with a cup of tea. That always calmed him down.

He left the school premises and set out for his journey to his house. The school side walk expanded for a while. The school grounds were large and a sidewalk encompassed most of it. The fists in his pockets continually clenched and unclenched as he fumed and mused on the death of Kagome Higurashi.

And then he hear a noise. There were a couple of shouts and a scream every so often coming from the student parking lot. He turned towards the sound and ran to the fence to find a couple boys pushing around a boy that looked to be around half their size. The boy looked like a freshman, from what he could gather.

He yelled, trying to disperse them. "Hey! Stop that!" A couple of the larger boys turned to him and ignored him. The smaller one looked over at Inu Yasha with wide eyes, begging for him to do something. He gave a snarl at the boys and dropped his backpack as he attempted to climb the fence closing off the parking area. He landed with a thud on the ground and ran towards the small crowd.

"Leave him alone." Inu Yasha snarled.

A couple turned towards him and muttered snide remarks.

"…you gonna do about it?"

"Only a soph …"

"…tell us what to do?"

" … none of your business."

He snarled and walked up to one and punched him in the face. The boy reeled back in pain and then retreated towards the school. The others looked around in a daze before deciding to follow him. He lay a stern gaze on the boys before turning to the one behind him.

"You okay?" he asked, softly as he could.

"Y-yeah. I … I'm fine. They were j-just callin' me names and stuff. Th-they didn't … hurt me too bad. I … I think they took my wallet … it's okay though. I didn't have much in it." the boy stuttered out and squeezed his hands nervously.

"Okay." Inu Yasha said. "What's your name?"

"Onigumo." he said quietly.

"You want me to walk you home? You know, so that if they try anything I can bust up another one of their faces?" he said jokingly and flexed his arm, giving off a macho smile.

The small boy giggled lightly. "S-sure. If you don't mind I mean!"

"Nah, it's okay. I don't have anything planned tonight anyways." he said with a wave of his hand. The other boy smiled widely.

They started walking towards Onigumo's house when the boy spoke. "Um, thank you … for saving me."

"You're welcome."

Author's Notes (Kind of an epilogue.)

And now the real aim of me writing this story is clear. This story isn't about the budding romance of two teens, or about the shy innocent victimized girl being PULLED out of hell by a mysterious and attractive young boy. No, because this story is about suicide.

Um, aside from being something I really dislike and protest, its pretty interesting to write about and think about. I know this story will hit close to home for a lot of people because there are lot of times that we feel like we want to end it all too. And Kagome just happened to be one of those people.

I guess you might have gotten suspicious when you found out she was carrying all her books home with her, trying to clean out her locker before she killed herself. And if you think about it, I guess she had this planned all along. Perhaps if Inu Yasha had looked deeper into her bag he might have found the drugs she used to kill herself with.

Anyways, I know a couple people who have attempted it. None of them succeeded, but it's really weird hearing your friends talk about stuff like that. Like, you realize that if they had succeeded they wouldn't be sitting there with you and it's a really … scary feeling. I guess we'll all know some one that actually committed suicide and was successful before we die. It happens more frequently than we'd all like, but … I guess if that's really what someone wants then there is really no stopping them.

Maybe some people are more content not existing … but that doesn't really make any less painful to know that when they die. I know some of you may be upset about the ending but try and understand that this was my aim in writing this. I just felt like writing something kind of heartbraking, and ta-da. I'm glad you liked it though.