Not That Girl

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket, Wicked, or Hatori, although I wish I owned all three.

A/N: I listened to the Wicked soundtrack one too many times, and thus THIS emerged! I just found it too perfect to pass up…

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I was in love with him from the day we met. And from the day we met, I knew I wasn't for him.

"Mayu-chan, this is Hatori Sohma. I work as his assistant." Kana smiled happily.

I grinned at him. "Hey."

He was gorgeous. If there was such thing as love at first sight, I was in it deeper than a rock dropped in the middle of the ocean.

"Well, let's get going!" Kana beamed, taking Hatori's hand to lead him. Something stuck in my throat.

-Hands touch, eyes meet

Sudden silence, sudden heat

Hearts leap in a giddy whirl-

I followed behind them, unable to notice anything but how happy they looked. I'm sure they didn't intend it, but I felt like the third wheel. The third wheel with a GIANT crush on my best friend's boyfriend.

-He could be that boy

But I'm not that girl-

Sometimes I would close my eyes and imagine a time when he would look at me the way he looked at her. A time when I could cut loose my worries and my hair, and love him as myself. Maybe someday, I'll admit to him how much I care—but that someday is pretty far away.

-Don't dream too far

Don't lose sight of who you are

Don't remember that rush of joy-

I had to stop myself. Kana was happy. He was happy. It would never happen.

But all dreams do end.

-He could be that boy

I'm not that girl-

Occasionally, I wonder what would have happened if I had told him—if I had thrown away Kana-chan's happiness for the sake of my own.

"Mayu…I hope you understand. I LOVE Hatori. I want to spend my life with him."

Those words she said kept coming back to me, drowning me in guilt, and yet I still dreamed.

-Ev'ry so often we long to steal

To the land of what-might-have-been-

Then they wanted to be married, and their happiness was ruined. I hated Akito for it. I had lived my love for Hatori through Kana, and now he had hurt deeply the two I cared most for. I hated him with every fiber of my being for breaking Kana. For hurting Hatori.

Shigure told me about the memory suppression. It gave Kana happiness in the present, but it was so hard, knowing she had forgotten her happiness of the past.

And Hatori must have been dying inside.

-But that doesn't soften the ache we feel

When reality sets back in-

And because of his pain, I was dying, too.

Kana and I grew apart. Hatori drew more into himself. I still loved him, but I knew he could never forget her.

-Blithe smile, lithe limb

She who's winsome, she wins him-

Even though she was gone and married, he still froze that love into a kind of emotional perma-frost. Even though she was gone, I couldn't win him.

-Gold hair with a gentle curl

That's the girl he chose-

I can never really win him.

-And Heaven knows

I'm not that girl-

I'm just not that girl, and wishing won't change anything.

-Don't wish, don't start

Wishing only wounds the heart

I wasn't born for the rose and pearl-

I'm no princess. My language isn't the greatest. I'm not beautiful. I'd stick out like a sore thumb in society. There is no way I could be termed a "lady". I'm not right for him at all.

-There's a girl I know

He loves her so-

Kana was. And…it's hard, but she still is. He won't love like that ever again. And if he does, it won't be me.

"I LOVE Hatori. I want to spend my life with him."

I'll never be his.

-I'm not that girl…-

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A/N: Tell me whatcha think in a review! Should I stop writing? Am I any good at this series? Lemme know, por favor! Review!