Warnings&Notes: Pure stupidity. Slight violence. The worst thing about this is that it's in present tense. And past tense. Whatever.
The Short Way To Win A War
Heero protects Relena from the falling debris of her school as it's decimated. There's hesitation in the air as Heero wonders about the sensibility of his actions and the only mobile suit left fires two shots at his back, doing minimal damage. The pilot of said suit is confused.
"What's going on! He stopped."
Lady Une slams her fist onto the council as she keeps her eyes narrowed and glued to the screen.
"What? You mean the Gundam's protecting Darlians daughter?"
"There's no mistake. That's the girl we want, Relena Darlian."
Pause.
"Hold on. He's.. picking her up."
Another, longer, pause.
And then a loud explicative, discombobulated by the break of static as the pilot's voice gets TOO loud.
"He - He just threw her! I mean! He just straight up THREW her! I can't even see her anymore! What the hell is going on?"
Une stares at monitor, at a loss for words.
"Colonol Treize is on the line."
"What?"
"Lady Une-"
"Colonol, the Gundam, there was a Gundam."
"Lady Une-"
"He was protecting Darlian-"
"Lady Une-"
"HE THREW HER."
"... what?"
"The Gundam - the pilot - he.. he picked her up and just THREW her out across the forest. We have no idea where she is."
Treize is disturbed. "And he was protecting her up until that point?"
"Yes."
He seems pensive for a moment. "Retreat. There's no use fighting against someone so mentally unbalanced."
Une looks like she's about to object, but then reconsiders the order and gives a short nod.
"Yes, sir."
And thus the colonies won because Treize was really freaked out with the turn of events. The Lightening Count, understandably, went into a blood rage and hunted down the pilot of the Gundam that threw his sister. He never found him. Out of shame, he committed suicide indirectly by picking a fight with an angry man who beat him to within an inch of his life. He was left in a back alley where a soaking wet cloth fell on his face and smothered him because he was unable to move about 90 percent of his body.
Relena's body has yet to be found and all the Gundam pilots, after scratching the back of their heads respectively, retired from their war-like ways.
Heero never threw anyone ever again, and is happily planting trees where contractors had previously cleared in order to build mini-malls. People are very angry with him.
Duo won the lottery, but the jackpot was only thirty bucks. He constantly has to kick peoples faces in for grabbing his braid, and travels from town to town, suing people.
Trowa never spoke again.
Quatre was killed by Trowa when the aforementioned ex-pilot got sick and tired of being followed around and being called "Friend Trowa."
Wufei went into anger management to sort out his issues. After three weeks of therapy, the instructor mysteriously disappeared and Wufei's sword was shinier than ever.