Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I never will. I can't draw for beans. So yeah.

I know it's been like a week or so since I've updated, but my mom was really sick and the doctor thought she had something. Turns out she doesn't. That, and Harry Potter came out. /fan-girl squeal/

Once upon a time there was a girl in the locker room who was like. "so who is this...Narato (Na-RAH-to)?" Hilarious one, she is.

I loved the reviews! Lol. Read on then.


Jiraiya sighed and leaned back into his pillow. The woman who had offered to…assist him had actually came.

What was her name again? Riku? Jiraiya shook his head. No, that wasn't it.

Not that her name mattered to him. He was a pervert! All that mattered was that she was here, in his arms and currently in a state of undress.

She moved toward his face and Jiraiya reacted, closing his eyes and puckering his lips.

Three…. Two… One….

She leaned forward and…LICKED HIM ON THE CHEEK?

Jiraiya opened his eyes, confused, only to be jerked of his dream by a disappointing mop of yellow hair and a satisfied smirking face were the top two things that he did not want to see right now.

"What the hell!"

"He was curious and wanted to lick off the red tears on your face," she said, grinning cheekily at him. "You know, Jiraiya? You shouldn't wear all that makeup. It'll fool the people into believing that you're actually scary!"

Naruto let out a small chortle, albeit not knowing what they were talking about.

Jiraiya glared at the two and tugged the kid off his chest and placed him back on the bed.

"You know, Tsunade?" he mimicked. "You should really get rid of that genjutsu- it fools people into thinking that you're actually young and pretty."

Ouch. Point one for Jiraiya. He basked in the sunlit glory.

Not for long though. Time froze for Jiraiya could feel himself getting closer and closer to death. Being under Tsunade's killing intent does that to you.

Tsunade kicked him and he flew straight through and out of the window.

She and Naruto laughed as they could hear Jiraiya screaming.

"Don't worry Naruto-chan! Kaa-san can kick Tou-san's a-" Tsunade paused, rethinking her words. "Ahem- butt, anytime, anywhere, any day."

Naruto looked worriedly up at Tsunade. Kaa-san? Tou-san? Who were they?

Shortly after, Tsunade grabbed the keys to the hotel room. "Well, I'm out. Some of us have to work you, know?"

"Hey!" Jiraiya cried out indignantly, flipping out the note-pad from the insides of his robes. "I work too!"

"That's not work." She sweat-dropped. "That's proof that you're a pervert."

Jiraiya was about to correct her but she cut him off.

"Oh, that's right! You are a SUPER PERVERT!" she mimicked. "I have to go. I'm almost late for work."

"Does work imply losing all our money?" he muttered to himself.

"What was that?" Tsunade asked while cracking her knuckles.

"Nothing, dear! Have a great day!"

She smirked. And with that, she was gone.

Jiraiya sighed, crossing his arms. What would he do with Naruto? He could always ask that lady from before…. Nah, Tsunade would kill him and he wasn't up for dying before Icha Icha Paradise Vol. 16 came out. No, that wouldn't do.

His train of thoughts were interrupted as Naruto tugged the bottom of his robes.

"What do you want?" he said as he peered down at Naruto.

The boy was patting his stomach while making a pained face. "Ra. Ra. Ra."

"You're hungry, eh? Let's go check what she's got for us."

Naruto giggled as he was scooped up by Jiraiya.

"Hm…. We have some baby carrots and peas."
Jiraiya got out two plastic bowls and plates and set them on the table. He poured the food in and sat Naruto down on one of the wooden chairs and sat next to him.

He picked up the spoon and ate in an exaggerated way, hoping that Naruto would catch on. It was a lost cause though.

The kid was currently staring in awe at his plate. ORANGE! He picked one of the carrots up and marveled at the color. Looking at Jiraiya, who was still eating in that manner, he laughed.

He tried throwing one of the carrots at the old man, only narrowly missing him.

Jiraiya gained an evil glint in his eyes.

"I see!" he said. "Let us use this opportunity to help you train!"

And with that he began pelting the vegetables at Naruto, who started pelting his own back.

Needless to say, Tsunade wasn't very pleased with Jiraiya when she came back. And neither was the room service.

A/N: Do you guys think I should up the rating?

Mistress DragonFlame- lol. I don't have a niece or nephew so I wouldn't know. I have a lot of cousins though. So annoying! Especially the one who's going through a poser faze. Skater girl, emo kid, sci-fi nerd, valley girl - you name it, she was it.

Nge- lol…you know who you are. tys

Do any of you like Bleach? My friend makes fan art and if you're interested you can go to the link in my prof. page. We're planning to cosplay! Woooot!

Lol. Its like 9 a.m., and I'm about to go to Knotts! This chapter was done purely by luck (finished like at 8:45). Well I got to go 'cause my sister is getting tired of waiting for me to get ready.

Review please! Feed the authors and they feed you?