Disclaimer: Don't own slayers, if I did I'd be working on the fourth series instead of writing this. No harm intended and no profit made.

XOXOXOX

Gourry frowned and moved down to be at eye-level with the pot in front of him. It didn't smell bad. But was soup usually blue? He sniffed it again and tried to identify the flavours. Basil, parsley, tomato, potato, carrot, beef and something he couldn't put his finger on. His frown deepened. To say Gourry wasn't the smartest man in the world would be a drastic understatement, but when it came to food, swords or the size of Lina's breasts he was unusually observant. To be unable to identify the food in front of him was a worry.

He picked up a spoon and stirred the soup a bit. It certainly had the right consistency and texture… but his instincts told him something was off and that it probably wasn't a good idea to try any. Besides, who left a pot of soup sitting unattended like that? He decided it was probably in his best interests to leave it well alone.

Oh well. He thought and straightened up, looking around. What had he been doing anyway? Oh yeah, Lina and Amelia had sent him off so they could have a little 'girl talk' and he'd been wandering in search of something to do. Maybe he'd go find Zelgadiss.

On the Astral plane Xellos frowned as he watched Gourry leave. It seemed the swordsman was harder to fool than he had thought. Maybe he could find and illusion spell to make the soup appear a more… natural colour? Or find a way of making the smell of the potion blend in more with that of the soup. As he sat immersed in his thoughts of how to fix this he missed Lina and Amelia's entrance and was hence unable to stop Lina from rushing to the table and downing the soup in one go.

Lina sighed in satisfaction. It wasn't everyday some idiot left a pot of good soup out for her to find. Amelia simply rolled her eyes and grinned at her friend. But she could have sworn in the split-second view she got the soup had been blue? It probably didn't matter.

Suddenly there was a loud popping noise and Lina felt something heavy on her chest. She looked down to find herself sporting a pair of rather firm, full Naga-esque breasts.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAA?" She yelled, loud enough to shake a few window panes lose. Amelia regarded her friend eyes wide and resisted the urge to poke her to see if they were real.

"Oh wow, how did that happen?"

"That's what I'd like to know. Not that I'm complaining or anything."

"Lina! Amelia! Are you alright?" exclaimed Gourry as he and Zel burst into the room swords drawn and ready to fight having heard Lina's yell only to stop dead at the sight of her. Zel looked away quickly a slight blush over his features while Gourry just gawked open mouthed, his brain having gone into a state of complete meltdown.

Xellos smiled. Certainly this wasn't as amusing as it would have been had Gourry drunk the soup, but he could still have some fun. He phased into view about three feet from Amelia from where he could view the entire group at once.

"Hallo everyone!" He chirped before adding in a slightly surprised voice "Oh my! Miss Lina, you seem to have… developed since we last spoke."

"Xellos" Zelgadiss growled, still avoiding looking at Lina directly "You're probably behind this aren't you?"

"That, my dear Zelgadiss, is a secret!" Xellos replied winking and striking his customary pose. Zel growled again and was about to make a sarcastic reply but Amelia got in first.

"Regardless of whether you did this or not Mister Xellos (and if you did it was highly unjust), do you know what happened?"

Xellos walked to Lina and bent over to get a good look at her breasts, he cupped his chin in a thoughtful look as he enjoyed the embarrassment radiating off her.

"H-hey just what do you think you're doing?"

He held up a hand for silence and continued to look a little longer for good measure before straitening up and giving his verdict.

"It looks to me like a growth potion designed to target the breast area. Don't worry though, it should wear off in a couple of days."

"Damn." Muttered Gourry, but loud enough for everyone to hear him. Suddenly the temperature in the room seemed to drop and Amelia and Zelgadiss rather sensibly backed away.

"What do you mean by that?" Lina asked in a dangerously low voice.

"Well it's just your breasts are so small and-"

The rest of his words were cut off by Lina's fist slamming into his jaw sending in flying into a wall. She stalked after him intent on doing sever harm.

Amelia sighed as she watched Gourry crash into a table, breaking it cleanly in half before being thrown into another wall, knocking several picture frames to the floor.

"I guess I'm going to be paying the damages again?"

"Most likely." Zelgadiss commented dryly, before using a tray to deflect an incoming table leg away from them.

"(Sigh) Why can't we stay anywhere without something getting broken? Or something crazy like this happening? Or worse; both?"

Xellos (who had decided this had worked out much better than he'd hoped and was greatly enjoying the destruction) looked to her and smiled wolfishly, deciding to go in for the kill.

"Oh don't worry Miss Amelia, it could have been worse. Imagine if YOU had drunk any of that."

There followed a loud crash as Zelgadiss fainted.

XOXOXOX

A/N: (giggle) poor Zel (ahem) anyway…

I got a good response to my first fic, so I decided I'd put up another of the same genre before moving on to more angsty stuff.

It figures Gourry would be smart enough to avoid the soup but still enough of a jellyfish to comment on Lina's breasts like that. The man's a walking paradox.

I've also reached the conclusion that Xellos is infinitely useful when it comes to writing humour. There's just so much he can DO. As a matter of fact I think Gourry is the only person he's never managed to (directly) upset.

A big thank you to everyone who reviewed last time and thanks in advance to everyone who reviews this time Tell me what you think and let me know what you want next, more humour or should I try something (slightly) more serious?