Forever and a Day

Disclaimer: I don't own Fuji or Tezuka (sobs) it's a sad fact that we all have to accept (sobs), nor do I own Tezuka's song 'Eien no Hi', which is where the lyrics came from, okay?

Summary: Where Fuji asks, Tezuka answers and forever is undefinable.

OOO

Forever and a Day

OOO

Kimi ni totte boku wa kitto reisei sugitete tsumaranai

Mebaeteru atsui kono mune no omoi kakusu

I don't know whether it was the light as such, but the snow gently drifting down around us seemed to contain an almost ethereal glow. Like fireflies, I suppose, only they are ice cold to the touch and melt away upon contact with a warm surface. I held up my palm and let one land quietly, watching as it slowly dissolved and was absorbed into the surface of my thick gloves.

A smile spread across my face as I shifted the bag strap on my left shoulder. Up ahead, the street was deserted as it usually was on a snowy day. Everyone would either be at home with the heaters on, or in cosy restaurants and cafes, enjoying the sight of snow fall from their comfortable environment. But I've never been one to follow conventions, preferring to do thing whenever, wherever and enjoying life as it came.

This is probably why I'm standing in the middle of the walkway in my school uniform, my long, beige overcoat on top of my uniform jacket, smiling to myself as the snow keeps falling. Time goes slowly when there is no place, no destination, for you to hurry to and you can stop to savour the peace.

Kumorizora ni Kuchizusamu uta wa setsunai LOVE SONG

Kimochi wo todokeyou

"You'll catch a cold out here."

He came up from behind to stand next to me, dressed in pretty much the same way, only that his coat is dark blue. His voice is one that reigns over the battlefield and commands people by the thousands. The aura around him gives the impression that he holds the power to move mountains with a single word.

"Aa . . ." I agreed with a smile.

We lapsed into silence, as always happens, just observing the world around us. The city seemed to be dozing in the dim light of the evening, covered by a thin, white blanket and lulled by the sighing of the trees. Like a child nestled in a cradle, drifting off to sleep as the mother sings a gentle lullaby. I turned to my companion, who looked as if he were deep in thought.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?"

"What is?"

"The snow, the street . . . everything," I replied, motioning at our surroundings with my hand. "I love this time of day in winter. It's so peaceful."

He made a vague sound of agreement, gaze already elsewhere. I followed its direction and found myself looking at one of the billboards high above us on one of the tall skyscrapers. It was currently displaying an advertisement for a jewellery store, with the picture of a beautiful diamond ring in its specially designed box, alongside the words: Because love lasts forever.

"Ne, Tezuka, how long is forever?"

Bukiyou na egao de kata wo dakishime

Hitomi wo tojite "eien no hi" chikaou

The question took him off guard, I could tell. He stood there, blinking at me, trying to find the answer to my question. I slipped my hand into my coat pocket and gazed up at the billboard, sighing. It would be great to know what forever meant.

"I don't want a dictionary definition either," I told him. "I want to know how long you think forever goes on for . . ."

He contemplated his answer deeply then. I knew it was easy just to give the definition written in the dictionary, but where were the sentiment and the value in that answer, when it is so generic?

"Forever . . ." he mused quietly, gazing up at the sky. "How long forever lasts depends on the person, I suppose. It could last until death, when all things come to an end, or it could last until the next day."

"Aa . . ." I looked at him, the lids of my eyes opening slightly. "Then how long does love last?"

"Until there is none of it left," he replied without hesitation. "Until time washes away whatever passion there is and there is nothing left but old habits."

"You sound as if you have had experience."

"Perhaps I have."

Muri shite mo kakusenai ne futo kimi no sugata otteiru

Nanigenai kaiwa no yaritori imi wo sagasu

We walked along the street now, finally deciding to move from where we stood. The snow was coming down a little heavier and the breeze had picked up. In which direction we were headed, I had no idea, but that was all right. The comfortable silence between us was back.

We were in the city, which was possibly as far away from the school as we could probably get at this time of day. Seishun Gakuen was in a suburban area and this was near the heart of the main city. This explained the billboard that we had seen before and the number of cars that had been building up as we walked. It was surprising how far we've gotten just by walking.

"Would you like to get a drink?" I offered, stopping in front of a café. He stopped as well and inclined his head. "Come on, my treat."

Inside the café, we sat near the window. I nursed a mug of hot chocolate between my hands as my tennis bag was put down on the seat beside me. Tezuka sat across the table, in a likewise manner, only he was staring out the window while cradling a cup of coffee. We sat in relative silence for a moment.

"But forever is undefinable," he said suddenly.

I blinked and looked over at him in surprise for a moment, before relaxing into a smile. He was still thinking about my question.

"Aa, that's true."

"There's too many ways to interpret it, if it were based upon personal opinions," he continued. "It may last for only a day to one person, and yet it may last a lifetime to another."

"Thus humans refrain from attempting to properly define 'forever' in a general term," I said, smiling down into the contents of my mug. "And thus, when one says that their love will last forever, it has no real meaning."

I felt his eyes boring into the top of my head as I looked down. Their gaze was intense, as if he were trying to see into my soul and my heart. I looked up again to meet his eyes squarely.

"It's sad, isn't it?" I asked softly.

"What is?"

"That there is no forever," I replied in the same tone. "And that, no matter how hard we try, we cannot determine the term to give it real meaning."

"You think too much," he told me bluntly. "Stop it."

"Stop thinking?" I chuckled softly then. "That would be impossible and you know it, Tezuka."

"Stop thinking about it."

I replied with only a smile, before glancing out the window. It was still snowing and seemed to be getting heavier. Tezuka noticed this too.

"We should be getting home," he said.

"Aa."

Kaze no you ni kimi wo tsutsumikomi

Kawaranu kokoro Mimimoto tsubuyaita

We walked in relative silence to the train station. I had brought out my umbrella and was holding it over both of our heads, like that fateful day of first snow last year. The scene was a familiar one. We reached the sheltered building of the station and stopped. I lowered my umbrella.

"I'll see you tomorrow then," he said, turning around.

"Atobe asked me out yesterday."

He stopped in his tracks. I clutched at my tennis bag tightly. What was he going to say? It was a healing wound, but a wound nevertheless. How much had Tezuka really forgiven Hyoutei's captain? He didn't turn around.

"Congratulations."

"Is that all you're going to say?" I glared at his back, but he didn't even twitch a muscle. "How would you know if I even accepted him or not?"

"Either way, it has nothing to do with me."

"Is that really what you believe?"

"Why did you tell me?"

Between the two of us, there are many questions and most of them have no answers. Perhaps it is because our personalities are so different, or that we care not to delve too deeply into other people's lives that, when we do, we are lost. I cared little for most things, he cared too much.

"Do you really not know?" I whispered.

He turned then, at the top of the stairs, looking down at me. The chilly breeze pierced my back like sharp knives from the doorway, but his expression made it seem nonexistent.

"Are you so blind?" he asked.

"Blind? Me?"

Sokkenai soburi ya kitsui kotoba mo

Iji wo hatteta kinou no boku "sayonara"

His lips were warm and his hands soothed away the frosty breeze on my back. The tennis bags discarded, umbrella forgotten on the floor, all I could feel was his lips on mine, his arms around me and the heart-stopping feeling in my chest. When he pulled away, tears burned at my eyes.

"You are blind and a fool," he told me. "And fools need to be protected."

A warm hand brushed at my eyes as my lips stretched into a painful smile. Trying to smile when crying was a difficult task. I have not cried since I lost to him. Those tears were of release, that I had finally found something to work towards. These tears . . .

"And I will willingly be blind and a fool, if you will be there to guide me."

"If I don't?"

"Then I'll accept Atobe and let him do it."

He frowned then, before he saw the smirk play on my face.

"You do that and I'll make the whole team go bowling every Sunday."

"You wouldn't!"

He pulled me close and, for the moment, I felt as if there were no one else in the world but the two of us.

"I love you," I whispered into his ear.

Not forever, I decided. Because forever didn't exist. I loved him now and that was all that matter. However long this love would last was more than enough. We didn't need forever, because what we had would last always a day more than what 'forever' was.

"As I love you," he replied. "Forever and a day."

I pulled away and stared at him in mild surprise.

"Are you reading minds now, Tezuka?"

"We think alike, Fuji, that's all."

Bukiyou na egao de kata wo dakishime

Hitomi wo tojite "eien no hi" chikaou

OOO