O A/N: My regular readers already know why I haven't posted in a while so I won't get into that, other than to say I'm sorry. Now that that's aside, let's talk about last chapter a bit.

Wow. Just… wow. 39 reviews for the first story. Ever thought I'd get that many. Heck, I thought I'd be lucky to get 10! Thank you so much everyone! Yes, the last chapter may have been depressing, but I think everyone agrees that that is pretty close to what would've happened in the game. I hope the rest of the stories prove to be just as enjoyable as or more so than this one was. With that, it's now time for "Respond to the Readers"!

E.S. Simeon – Wow, glad you liked it so much

Lloyd Irving Aurion – Thank you very much! I don't know how many 'ships or which 'ships I'll be using but I'll most likely put a tiny disclaimer before each chapter that details little things that some people might not like.

Serrated Darkness – Yeah, I was sure that I wasn't the first who did this. This is just my perspective on how things would've turned out.

me23 – I know, but Indignation Judgment doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, ya know? Divine Indignation does though

Kaiousai – Why would I feel bad? I thank you for the praise and the tiny bits of criticism! I had thought about doing some Genis/Mithos interaction, but I was trying to do it the way the game would've done: from the party's point of view. In the game, there isn't many times where the focus is taken away from the party to show an event elsewhere. Also, I agree that I could've done a better job on Genis. I tried to factor in his superiority complex with the fact that he was now an enemy of the party. I'm glad you enjoyed it though!

Sunnigen – Haha. I wish I could ditch Genis too. Definitely my least favorite character.

DC – See my reply to me23.

Fan Fan Girl – Haha, I love the idea that you submitted to me. To those of you who haven't seen it, she suggested "What if Regal killed Alicia with his feet instead of his hands?" That'd certainly make for a hilarious MoS.

J.G. the Master Gamer – A sad idea, but a good idea. It's possible that this could've happened in the game. I shall put it on the list.

Cotoprius – Aww, I'm sorry 

For all submitted ideas – I only responded to two ideas, but don't let that discourage y'all. I accepted more than that and have put them on the list. Others that didn't make the list or those that disappeared from the list may not be a lost cause. If you look at my profile, I have two special MoS feature presentations in the works. These combine several what if ideas together. The main focus of these two are "What if Tethe'alla was the declining world and Sylvarant was the flourishing world?" and "What if Kratos never betrayed the party at the Tower of Salvation?" These what if suggestions would require far more than just a one-shot to do them justice, so… they are now dubbed as full-length projects. Yay! As for the lost what ifs, they may have been combined into these stories, so don't sweat it if you don't see yours

Be sure to keep those reviews and suggestions rolling! Now, without further ado, I present the next story of MoS to you! (wait for the title! There's a short intro)

Warning: Please don't get onto me for any OOC-ness. This is a humor story after-all. I'll try to stay in char, but OOC will be necessary at some points… oh hell. It's mostly going to be OOC. After all, Raine's cooking does nothing to the actual story other than add humor, right? Enjoy!

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"Guys, I have some bad news," said Genis solemnly.

Lloyd and Zelos looked up from their game of cards to look at their companion. "What's wrong Genis?" asked Lloyd.

Zelos winced. "Wait, that look on your face… you don't mean…"

Genis nodded, his face full of despair and disgust. "It's Raine's turn to cook tonight."

Lloyd threw down his cards and shook his head. "I'm feeling very ill all of a sudden."

"The worst part is that we have to eat it," said Zelos grimly. "We'll need the energy."

Lloyd sighed hopelessly. "So what's on the menu for tonight?"

"Miso Stew," replied Genis. "It's pretty hard to screw that up, but knowing Raine-"

"Boys! Soup's on!" yelled Raine cheerfully as she poured the stew from the small cauldron into the bowls of her companions."

Lloyd stood up and shook his head. "This sucks. How come the others got to go on a side-quest and we didn't?"

Zelos brushed past him and made his way toward Raine and the stew. "Cuz we drew the short straws."

"Bah." Losing all hope of somehow getting out of what Raine called "dinner", Lloyd, with Genis, made his way toward Raine and their fear-struck friend, Zelos.

Raine tapped her serving spoon on the side of the cauldron and smiled. "Bring your bowls over here boys. It's time for some good food!"

Genis shook his head as he brought over his bowl. "Raine, are you sure about that?"

She shrugged and filled his bowl full of stew. "Well, I'm bound to get it right sooner or later, right? Trial and error never hurt."

As Lloyd brought his bowl over, he muttered, "I dunno about that. It hurts us."

"I heard that. Now be quiet and go eat your soup."

Lloyd grumbled and sat down next to Genis. Forcing the biggest smile that he could, Zelos said through his clenched teeth. "Wow, my gorgeous professor! This sure looks good!"

Raine sighed and filled his bowl as well. "Alright, I'm sure it's horrible. Just please sit down and eat it." She pulled another bowl for herself and filled it as well. She sat down and looked down at her stew. "Bah, what's the use! Why do I even try anymore? I'm forever doomed to be a-"

"Holy cow!" yelled Lloyd. "Professor, this is the best Miso stew I've ever had!"

She sighed again. "It's okay Lloyd. You don't have to act like you like it."

"No professor, I'm being serious! This is really good! It's even better than Genis'!"

She glanced over at him, a puzzled look on her face. "What?"

"That's impossible!" cried Genis. "I love my sister to death but there's no way that this tastes and it's especially not better than mine!"

"Whoa!" said Zelos. "Genis, he ain't lyin'! This is better than yours!"

Genis grunted. "Are you both insane? I'll try it myself and we'll see!"

Raine watched as Genis took a spoonful of the stew and ate it. She quickly glanced over at Zelos and Lloyd, waiting for them to start laughing at Genis for falling for their trick. Their faces, however, remained struck in wonder as they watched Genis down his spoonful of stew.

As soon as Genis tasted it, he let his spoon drop, hit the edge of the bowl, and flop onto the ground. "G-guys…"

"Yes!" said everyone in unison as they leaned toward Genis.

"…this is the single greatest thing I've ever eaten," said Genis. He looked over at his sister. "Who are you and what have you done with my sister?"

Now infinitely curious about her own cooking, she took a small bite of it. She looked up at her friends, a look of massive disbelief on her face.

"Oh my goddess… what have I done?"

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(cue goofy theme music!)

Mysteries of Symphonia Presents: "What if Raine knew how to cook?"

Starring: Genis as the Narrator (italics), Raine as the unlikely master chef, and their other dumbfounded companions as… err… the dumbfounded companions!

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My sister? A chef? It sounded more like a part of one Zelos' bad jokes than a true statement. For as long as I can remember, Raine has been an absolutely terrible cook. It was okay up until I turned two years old… y'know, when one really starts to develop taste buds? Anyway, the examples I can present you concerning Raine's terrible cooking are numerable and all are very unique. My earliest memory of her bad cooking (that I can remember) traces back to when I was about five years old…

"Genis!" yelled Raine. "Breakfast is ready!"

The spunky half-elf immediately dropped the small book he was reading, ran over to the kitchen table, and hopped up into his chair. He grabbed the spoon next to his bowl and prepared to dig in when he noticed something strange about his food.

"Raine?" he asked.

His sister smiled back sweetly at him. "What is it Genis?"

"Why is there water in my cereal?"

"Well now that's a silly question. To make the cereal wet! Cereal just isn't the same otherwise!"

He blinked. "Sis, you're supposed to put milk in cereal. Not water."

"Milk?"

"Milk."

"…are you sure Genis?"

"Positive."

"…I see. I'll be sure to remember that for next time. For now, eat your cereal how it is."

"Blah!"

Pretty bad, huh? Sadly, that's not even the beginning of her tales of bad cooking. Not only were some of her dishes just plain bad tasting, some were just plain… well, for lack of a better word, dumb.

Genis stared at the slices of sliced bread on his plate with disgust. It's not that this didn't look good, rather, there was something truly offensive about it. He felt lucky that those that had invented the dish weren't around to see Raine's total lack of respect for it, otherwise…

"Raine?"

"Yes Genis?"

"I like bread and everything, but isn't the whole point of making a sandwich putting something in-between the two pieces of bread."

"But the recipe only called for two pieces of bread."

"Yeah Raine, those are just the base ingredients. If you read beyond the part about base ingredients, you'll notice that it says you can put anything you like in-between the two pieces of bread… within reason. It's pretty hard to make a bad sandwich"

"Really? Hmm…" Raine turned around and began to rummage through the fridge. "Ah-ha!" She plucked two things from the fridge and set them on the counter. She took Genis' plate with the bread on it and, after a few moments, placed the plate back in front of him. "There you go Genis!"

"I think something is hanging out of my sandwich… what exactly did you put on it?"

"Well, you said it's pretty hard to mess up a sandwich, right? Well, I thought I'd go with what I think is a pretty unique combination."

"That being?"

"It's a baking chocolate and squid sandwich! Enjoy!"

"Blarf!"

One of my "favorite" failed cooking experiments took place when Raine tackled cereal once again…

Raine hummed happily as she poured out a bowl of Cruxis Flakes for her little brother. She then went for the milk and as she poured it over the cereal, the bowl of tasty, sugary flakes caught on fire. The adding of more milk only caused the fire to strengthen, much to Raine's horror.

"Ah! Ah! Fire!"

Sure, my breakfast may have been ruined, but I have to admit that it was pretty amazing to watch cereal catch on fire while the milk is being poured over it. Sadly, the end product, "Cereal Flambe", wasn't very good. Another thing I always found peculiar about my sister's cooking was her love for lemons. No matter what she was making, she would always add lemon to it. Nothing was safe from her infatuation with lemons: hamburgers, spaghetti, cream stew, baking chocolate and squid sandwich (talk about making a bad thing worse!), even simple glasses of milk! Bleh!

Anyway, I think you've got an idea of how bad of a cook my sister is… or rather, "was". We're not sure how it happened, but on that fateful night when Lloyd, Zelos, and myself were forced to try her Miso stew or face starvation, my sister finally understood how to cook. It was a miracle! Was this just a one-time thing, or could I finally take a break from cooking all the time? The next few times that she cooked, her dishes were equally as splendid! I never thought I'd say this, but, one night, she made these lemon milkshakes that were to absolutely die for! Time passed, quests were completed, and plots were twisted. Finally, we came to the point in our journey that everyone had been waiting for…

"Okay guys!" said Genis. "Time to check our to-do list so we can make sure that we did everything we were supposed to do. Ahem… beat the crap outta Pronyma and Mithos?"

"Check!" said Lloyd.

"Got Origin?"

"Check!" said Sheena.

"Got the Material Blades and Ring of the Pact?"

"Check!" said Lloyd again.

"Rescued Sheena from the clutches of Mithos' possession?"

Hearts appeared in Sheena's eyes as she clung on to Lloyd's arm, her cheek against his. "Check…" she said, dreamily.

"Beat the crap outta the overly big and overly pathetic Dark Dragon?"

Zelos snickered. "Hehe, check."

"Solved the stupid puzzle in Vinheim to get back down to the surface?"

Raine smacked her brother in the back of the head. "Stupid puzzle? How can you call a puzzle of the ancients "stupid"?"

Genis rubbed his head. "Check. That means that all we have to do now is beat up Mithos one last time. Okay guys, you know what this means, right?"

Lloyd nodded. "Sure do. Ready?"

Everyone threw up their arms at once and yelled, "Side-quest time!"

Oh yeah! Side-quests are so much fun! It's the moment we had all been waiting for. Now was the time that we finally started getting decent equipment and going on the more interesting quests, not to mention go up against monsters that make Mithos look even more pathetic than that stupid Dark Dragon (Hehe… pansy…). We treated the list of side-quests as if it was a theme park There was so much to do that we didn't know where to start…

"How about the Battle Arena in Meltokio?" asked Lloyd.

"Llooooyyyyydddd, can we go get Maxwell?" asked Sheena lovingly.

"No way!" said Genis. "I wanna go get the cool Meteor Swarm spell! I gotta slap around that punk elven wizard kid too!"

"Can we… take out Abyssion first?" asked Presea. "I'm… tired of these damn Devil Arms talking to me."

"Hmm? What's this?" asked Zelos as he yanked away the list. "A cooking competition in Meltokio? Hey guys! This gives me a great idea!"

"That's a first," said Genis as he rolled his eyes.

"Shut up brat. We should enter Raine in the competition!"

Everyone's attention became fully focused on Zelos when he said this. It actually didn't seem like that bad of an idea but there were still many things to consider.

"Y-you want me to enter a cooking competition?" asked Raine.

"Are you sure about this Zelos?" asked Genis.

Regal nodded. "Yes Zelos. I mean no offense to Raine, but what if the fine results of her most recent dishes were nothing more than freak accidents?"

"Yeah," chimed in Lloyd. "It could be like when Colette trips and breaks something that was actually meant to be broken."

Not fully knowing what was going on, Colette decided to take preemptive action by saying, "I'm sorry."

Zelos shook his head. "Tsk tsk, all of you should be ashamed of yourselves. You should have more confidence in the professor."

"But Zelos…" started Presea, "Aren't you the one that said that Raine's cooking made you bulimic?"

"That's not important, now hush my little rosebud." He turned back to Raine and smiled. "I'm sure you can do it my ultra-cool gorgeous beauty!"

Raine closed her eyes and thought. A moment later, she opened her eyes and nodded. "All right, I'll do it. What will the rest of you be doing in the meantime?"

"Heh, I've decided, without everyone else's consent, that we're all going to enter the cooking competition. That way, we can run the tables and make sure that one of us will get the grand prize!"

"That's very clever Zelos," commented Regal. "Dishonest, but clever all the same."

"Oh yeah! I was born to be dishonest!"

"What?"

"Nothing. Let's go! On to Meltokio!"

And off we went. Meltokio was bustling as everyone ran around in an attempt to get everything ready for the competition. Considering how little time there was before the contest started, you would've thought that we had absolutely amazing luck in getting here just in time. However, our luck wasn't a factor in our timing. In fact, we could've waited as long as we wanted and still be just in time, thanks to the "Law of Side-quests!" Ahem, anyway, I'm getting off-subject. Zelos registered all of us (against our will, if you remember) for the contest and we went to our cooking stations. As it turned out, we couldn't exactly run the tables yet, as there was one other chef that entered the contest: the Wonder Chef's arch-nemesis, the Dark Chef! Although we still had a very good chance of one of us winning the grand prize, Zelos wasn't about to take any risks on his plan being ruined…

"Hey Regal?" said Zelos from his cooking station.

Not looking up from his own work, Regal replied, "Yes?"

"My plan's in danger of being ruined."

"What? By the Dark Chef?"

"Yup."

"You realize that that we outnumber him eight to one, right? One of us is bound to beat him. Besides, the Wonder Chef is biased and would never pick his rival to win."

"Even so, I'm not taking any chances.""Very well. What are you going to do then?"

"I want you to take out the Dark Chef."

"Take him out? Isn't that a little much?"

Zelos pounded his fist on his table. "Damnit man! I want my prize! I shall not be denied!"

Regal sighed and shook his head. "Fine. At least draw the Wonder Chef's attention away while I do this."

"Gotcha." Regal began to slip away as Zelos waved his arms in the air and yelled. "Wonder Chef! Wonder Chef! I, uh… spilled salt on the table! Isn't that bad luck?"

Regal watched as the Wonder Chef moved to speak with Zelos about the importance of not spilling salt on the table. "Good. Here I go…"

He snuck behind the rows of tables that belonged to his companions as they too gawked and wondered what the hell their idiot Chosen was doing. Upon reaching the Dark Chef's table, Regal stood to his full height and tapped DC on the shoulder.

He turned around. "Bah! What do you want, foolish chef?"

"You dropped your spoon."

"What?" He looked down. "I don't see any-"

BONK!

The Dark Chef hit the ground after Regal slammed the back of DC's head with his elbow, sending him to the ground.

Zelos pointed over to the Dark Chef's table. "Oh no! I think the Dark Chef passed out! Is he okay Regal?"

"Huh?" said the Wonder Chef as he ran over to DC's table. "What happened here?"

Regal closed his eyes and nodded his head. "His kung-fu was weak."

"Indeed…" said the Wonder Chef quietly. He looked from side-to-side and slipped Regal a wad of money.

He too looked both ways and took the money. "Sweet."

Zelos witnessed the exchange of money and shook his head. "Aww man, what a gyp. If I woulda known that there was money involved…"

And so, our competition was eliminated before the contest had even begun. Finally, everyone began to prepare their dishes. An hour passed, then two, then… oh what the hell. A bunch of time passed, okay? I think you get the point. Anyway, the time finally came for our dishes to be judged. First came Lloyd…

"I say Mister Irving, your Dwarven Stew is absolutely marvelous!" said the Wonder Chef.

"Hehe, thanks!" said Lloyd. "The trick is to put just the right amount of iron ore in it!"

WC dropped his spoon and his jaw.

Next came Presea…

"Hmm, very interesting Miss Combatir. Is this soul food?" asked WC.

"No sir," she replied. "It's soul-less food."

"…"

Then Zelos…

"Mr. Wilder, I'm sorry, but I can't accept your dish."

"Why not? Doesn't it taste good?"

"Well, yes… but Mr. Wilder, while your "Erotic Cake" may taste good, it's not in good taste."

"Hmph. Well you're no fun."

Then Regal…

"Hot water?"

"Yes."

"That's your submission?"

"Yes. It's good for the soul and good for you."

"…"

Then I was up next…

"What the hell!"

"Is something wrong sir?"

"Your flaming chicken surprise… when I cut into it, a flame shot out at me!"

"Well, yes sir. It's called 'flaming chicken surprise' for a reason. How does it taste?"

"I wish I could tell you, but now I have third degree burns on my tongue. Taste buds are gone, you know?"

A quick healing spell from Raine and off we went to Colette…

"This is fabulous Miss Brunell! Your 'Happy Face Cake' is absolutely superb!" cried the Wonder Chef.

She bowed her head. "I'm sorry!"

Then Sheena…

The Wonder Chef blinked as he looked at Sheena. "Miss Fujibayashi?"

"Yes?" she replied.

"You can't use the summon spirits to create your dish. You are disqualified."

"H-how did you know?"

He pointed behind her. She looked where he pointed and frowned. "Oh yeah, I forgot to un-summon Origin."

"D'oh," said Origin, disappointed.

And finally, we came to Raine…

"Spicy Cake, you say?" asked the Wonder Chef.

She nodded. "Mmm," she hummed, obviously worried.

He laughed. "Well now, this is certainly interesting. Over the course of history, nobody has ever made a legitimately tasty Spicy Cake. Even I have been searching for the perfect recipe for it for years. However, I have met with no success and, as such, my Spicy Cake is absolutely horrendous. Win or lose, I admire your effort. Now then, may I have a taste?"

She swallowed a lump in her throat. "S-sure. I hope you enjoy it."

He smiled, cut off a piece of cake with his fork, and put the piece of questionable cake in his mouth. He chewed it thoughtfully and as he did so, he began to shed tears. However, these were not tears of sorrow or pain. Rather, they were tears of pure joy.

"M-miss Sage…"

"Yes?"

He shook his head wildly and took off his hat. He spun around once and then placed the hat upon the healer's head. "I am the Wonder Chef no more!"

Everyone looked at him and yelled, "What!"

He nodded and turned to the others. "My friends, it is just as I said! I no longer deserve to be called the Wonder Chef! The recipe for Spicy Cake has been perfected!"

Raine blinked unbelievably. "W-what?"

He turned back to her and smiled. "Miss Sage, your cake is the incarnation of perfection. Never before have I tasted something so wonderful! Congratulations!" He turned back to the others and proudly proclaimed, "From this day forward, Raine Sage shall now be known as the new Wonder Chef!"

Everyone clapped and cheered wildly. He turned back to Raine once again and kneeled before her. He offered up his giant fork as if it was a sword. "Please, take it. I am no longer worthy of bearing the Wonder Fork. Just remember one thing Wonder Chef."

"Y-yes sir?" said Raine.

"The Dark Chef sucks."

"Blargh, I heard that!" said an obviously disoriented Dark Chef. Regal promptly ran over, stomped on him a few times, and flashed a thumbs-up to Raine.

She nodded to Regal and then to the chef formerly known as Wonder. "Yes sir. I will never forget your words of wisdom." She took the fork and held it the same way that she held her staff. "Has a nice feel to it."

"Excellent. With the Wonder Fork will allow you to take any form you wish. You must only use this to hide yourselves from those who aren't true chefs. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir!" she said with a salute.

"Good." He stood up, took off his apron and handed it to Raine. "Good luck, Wonder Chef. I'm off to begin a new life!"

He nodded and ran over to where the Dark Chef was lying. He leaned down, took his wallet and hat and began to walk away. Before he left, he stomped him two more times and then walked into a nearby liquor store. He came out with a suspicious looking bottle wrapped in a brown bag and sat on the sidewalk. As he drank from the bottle, he held out the Dark Chef's hat and started asking people for any spare change they might have.

Colette smiled and giggled. "Hehe. It feels nice to watch people get off to a good start when starting a new life."

Everyone nodded in agreement. Raine wrapped the apron of the chef formerly known as Wonder around her and picked the Wonder Fork back up. She gazed at it and was slowly overcome by sadness. As if the fork was talking to her (…was it?), she finally began to realize her new mission in life… and she knew she had to leave.

"Guys?" she asked everyone at once.

"Hmm? What is it professor?" they all asked at the same time.

She sighed deeply and shook her head. "I'm… afraid that I must leave you."

Silence.

"…I must partake in my new mission in life."

Silence.

"…aren't you going to try and stop me?" she screamed. "Aren't you going to miss me?"

Lloyd shrugged. "Eh. We'll miss you, but we'll manage. Besides, Zelos can heal us and Regal and Genis can cook."

Colette giggled. "You said you have a new mission in life, right? If you need inspiration, you should look at the old Wonder Chef! He's on the right track!"

Raine glanced over at the chef formerly known as Wonder. He swung around his suspicious looking bottle as he launched very random and very drunkenly spoken insults at the civilians passing by him. "Hey bud- hic! -dy! Your mother's a… hic! … woman! Gahaha…" he exclaimed just before he tipped over and took a nap on the sidewalk.

Raine blinked. "Colette, honey, that's not a very good example."

"Regardless, we must be on our way," said Lloyd. He turned around and walked away. "See ya later Professor! Good luck! I think we will meet again someday!"

"Of course we will!" cried Raine. "We live in the same damn village."

"Even better!" said Lloyd happily as he walked away.

The others followed suit, waving to Raine as they left behind.

The last to leave Raine was Zelos. "This is an outrage! Where's our cash and prizes!" He glanced over at the fallen Dark Chef. "Well… I just might get my cash yet." He ran over to the fallen chef and checked his pockets. "Hot damn!" He held something towards the sky. "He had another wallet on him! Spiffy!" Eyes shining, he stepped on the Dark Chef as he rejoined his companions.

Raine sighed. "So much for heart-felt goodbyes." She looked down at the Wonder Fork, contemplating her new path in life. "I didn't want this but it seems I have no choice. After, I have been entrusted with this seemingly sacred duty by a most noble man."

She glanced over at the chef formerly known as Wonder. He was still asleep but he was swinging around his suspicious looking bottle around as he sang groggily. "Ninety-nine bags of flour on the wall, ninety-nine bags of flour… hic! …"

She shook her head. "What have I gotten myself into?"

And so we all went our separate ways. We continued our journey to complete all of the side-quests the worlds of Tethe'alla and Sylvarant had to offer while Raine wondered the world as the new Wonder Chef, imparting her mystic knowledge of culinary arts upon the masses as she did so. Words of her exploits spread far and wide and, no matter where we went, traces of Raine's cooking could be found everywhere. Bottles of lemon juice were now a part of every dining table set in every single restaurant and the infamous baking chocolate and squid sandwich was now a smashing hit. Slices of her time and space defying Spicy Cake often sold for more than ten thousand gald at auctions all over the two worlds. After so much success, you would think that this is the end of my story… but I still have yet to tell you about the times we've met up with her once again during our travels. As you know, the Wonder Chef is meant to impart his/her divine cooking upon the masses in order to spread smiles all over the world(s). Also, he/she uses disguises to hide from those who desire to learn from him/her. If the chef in question can spot the Wonder Chef, then he/she must impart of their special recipes upon the one who found them. That being said, how did Raine fare when it came to her disguises? Well…

"Hey look everybody!" cried Colette. "It's a 'Vegans Anonymous meeting place!"

"Vegans? Bleh!" said Lloyd disgustedly. He then pounded his chest and said, "Lloyd want meat!"

Several screams were heard from within the building. Everyone's ears immediately perked up.

"What… was that?" asked Presea.

Lloyd drew his swords and ran inside. "No time for questions! There must be bad-guys inside!" Everyone quickly followed him inside.

Once in, they saw that all those in attendance of the meeting were cringing against the walls. Looking around, Lloyd finally saw what the cause of the commotion was. On the table in the middle of the room was a piece of fried chicken.

"Sweet!" cried Lloyd as he dashed for the chicken. Just before he could touch it though, it turned into a puff of smoke. "Cough noise! Cough noise! What the heck!"

The smoke cleared and on the table stood Raine, the Wonder Chef. She did some sort of goofy dance and held her fork up proudly. "Well done Lloyd! You found me!"

A nervous bead of sweat rolled down Lloyd's face. "Say what?"

She nodded. "You saw through my disguise, so now I have to give you a recipe."

"But I wasn't even trying."

"What?"

"Yeah. I was just hungry and I happened to see a piece of fried chicken."

Zelos nodded. "That, and disguising yourself as a piece of chicken at a Vegans Anonymous meeting is very smart."

Raine sighed. "Regardless, you found me. I'll just have to try harder next time." She straightened herself up and nodded. "Now then, I shall grant upon you the recipe of- hey, where are you going?"

"To the local DFC (Dwarven Fried Chicken!)," replied Lloyd. "I'm craving chicken now. Better luck next time professor."

Everyone followed Lloyd out the door as Raine grumbled to herself. One of the vegans tugged on her pants, grabbing her attention.

"Umm, excuse me ma'am, but could you get off of our table?"

So Raine's first disguise didn't go over so well. This wouldn't be the end of her failed disguises though…

"Wow!" squealed Colette as she stared at the buffet line. "I didn't know that they served tacos in Mizuho-style restaurants!"

Sheena rolled her eyes. "They don't. Come on out Professor."

Another puff of smoke and out came Raine. "Ta-da! Well done!"

"Not really. Again, really terrible disguise."

Raine sighed again. "Well darn it."

It didn't end there either…

Zelos shook his head with disgust as he stood in the white-hot sands of the desert. "Come on out professor. We know it's you."

"How did you know?" asked the un-melting block of ice.

This next one certainly isn't the last time, but after this one, I'm sure you'll get the idea.

"Hello!" said a familiar man in a chef's outfit. "I am the Wonder Chef!"

If Regal could've slapped his own head without bashing it with metal, he would've. "Damnit Raine, you're not even trying now! We all know that a woman is the Wonder Chef now."

Another puff of smoke. "Gah! What am I doing wrong!" cried Raine.

…you get the idea. Anyway, with all of the side-quests done and over with, we had little else to do other than finally go to Vinheim to beat-down Mithos. It was there that we met Raine once again.

"This sucks," complained Raine as she wandered aimlessly around, not noticing the corpse of the Dark Dragon (what a wuss!) as she did so. "I just can't do anything right. Sure, I can cook like the old Wonder Chef but I just can't make a successful disguise. Is there any hope for me?"

Just as aimlessly as before, she walked through the gates to Mithos' space and looked up. On a small piece of land far in front of and above her, she could see that a fierce battle was going on. "Huh… they must be fighting Mithos. I was going to hide disguise myself here, but since they're already here…" An idea came to her. "I know! I can still help my friends! Here I come!"

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"Well now, pathetic heroes," said Mithos. "Will you give up now?"

"Mithos…" said a female's voice from behind him.

Everyone turned to the owned of the voice: a very familiar-looking young woman with green hair. Their jaws dropped when they realized who it was.

"M-Martel! Is that you!" cried Mithos. He walked over to her, his arms extended. "Have you really come back to me?"

She smiled and extended her arms. "Yes Mithos. Come to me so that I can hug you."

He did as he was told but when he was less than two feet away from her, a puff of smoked emerged from her and before the smoke could clear, a very large fork came through it and jabbed Mithos in the gut.

"Gah! I have been slain!" cried the forked Mithos as he fell over dead.

The smoke finally cleared and the heroes watched as Raine did her little Wonder dance. "Oh yeah! How didja like that disguise!"

"That was sick Raine!" cried Genis.

Regal lowered his head. "Honestly Raine, that was intensely cruel."

Zelos shook his head in disgust. "Sure, he was a very bad guy and all, but not even he deserved to be someone he thought was his sister."

The heroes waved their hands in a "go away" fashion and left Mithos' space through the teleporter. Raine stomped her feet and yelled, "Argh! Why can't I win! I just saved the world and I'm still rejected!" She walked over to Mithos' fallen body and tried to pry her fork from his corpse. "Hey… I think it's stuck…"

It was quite a while before we finally forgave Raine. Sure, what she did was wrong, but she did save us and the world after-all. After the battle, we all went home to do our own things and continue on with our lives. Raine, however, continued to wander the world, righting the wrongs of the wicked and cooking up good food all the while. All-in-all, a truly happy ending… except for Mithos and the Dark Chef, of course. As for the chef formerly known as Wonder?

The chef formerly known as Wonder stood on one of the cold, lonely corners of Meltokio with a sign strapped to him that said, "Will cook for food." He thought about his days as the Wonder Chef and smiled. "Ahh… I'm glad that crap is over. Now I finally have a legitimate job!"

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Cue the Twilight Zone music please…

How the game changes as a result of this "What if…?"
--Nothing really. Raine's cooking is merely a bit of comedy relief in ToS. This story is a completely bs result of what would happen if Raine actually could cook. I hope you enjoyed it all the same though

Okay, this story was a little over 5,000 words long as well! Did everyone like it? I sure hope so! Remember to look on my profile to see which MoS story to vote on next week! Also, please check my profile within the next few days for a special announcement I'll have concerning my writing! When it's up, it should be up near the top, so you shouldn't have to look hard. Thanks in advance for checking out the profile and many more thanks for taking the time to read and reviews this!