Title: Betrayal

Author: Sparklehunter

Warnings: Shounen-ai, sequel to "Useless"

Summary: Kakashi was supposed to stay with Iruka forever. Hokage's changed all that. Iruka lying, but to whom?

Author's Note: Sixth in a series of snapshots about the aftermath of an almost-death. Sorry this took so long. Real life is eeevilllll . . . .

Betrayal

by sparklehunter

"It's not betrayal," Iruka says.

Kakashi scrunches up his face beneath his mask, and Iruka realizes he doesn't believe him. Iruka rolls his eyes.

"You're a shinobi, Kakashi. Not only are you a shinobi, you're a Konoha shinobi. Protecting Konoha is your life. You're needed out there," Iruka says.

He's seated in his wheelchair, watching Kakashi pack for his return to battle. Hokage called both of them before her, earlier that day, saying we need Kakashi back out there we're dying I'm sorry Iruka but we need him as a shinobi again. Iruka remembers what it had meant, to be shinobi, and tries to lock the selfish voice that screams he needs Kakashi, he isn't ready to leave Kakashi, he's goddamn paralyzed and can't walk because they needed Kakashi, and now they want to take Kakashi away from him? He doesn't tell Kakashi how much this tastes like betrayal, because he knows it isn't and to say otherwise is selfish.

Iruka may no longer be a ninja, but Iruka is not selfish.

Kakashi sighs through his mask and kneels in front of Iruka. His hands – long, fine-boned, scarred and pale – rest of Iruka's thighs, and he tells Iruka not to lie to him, he needs Iruka to be honest with him.

Iruka thinks that it is funny, because shinobi are born to lie and carry secrets, and doesn't Kakashi always tell Iruka he'sstill a ninja? But he doesn't tell Kakashi this. Instead, he smiles and says,

"It's not betrayal.

"It's not a lie. If you weren't Kakashi, the Copy-Nin, if you weren't an Elite Jounin, the ex-teacher of Naruto, if you weren't an ex-Anbu and the heir of the infamous Sharingan Eye, you would stay. But you are the Copy-nin and all those other things. So you have to go."

He leans forward and kisses Kakashi to prove his point, and the kiss is passionate and beautiful and very hot. He can taste the strawberries they had with lunch on Kakashi's tongue, even as Kakashi removes the straps from the wheelchair and pulls Iruka down into him. It's strange, kissing and groping Kakashi without his legs, but he ignores the anger and pain and fury and tiny tiny seeds of hatred because Kakashi is everything he's ever needed, or was everything he'd ever needed. Now, Iruka thinks he's looking for something in Kakashi that doesn't exist.

He wants Kakashi to stay with him. He needs Kakashi to stay with him, because Iruka isn't ready to be alone. Iruka knows he's useless, and hates how he needs Kakashi to stay, and remembers that he can never place himself above Konoha.

"It's not betrayal," he mutters against Kakashi's mouth, and lets everything – the hate and anger and love and need – fall away for the moment.

Author's Note: Review if you want more? Review anyway? Sankyu!