Little Black Riding Hood
by Mink ([email protected])
Part 4: The Baby
DISCLAIMER: Akazukin Chacha belongs to Ayahana Min; I don't own any of the characters. But the situations, Wolf-Seravi, and Wolf-Dorothy belong to me. ^_^ The actual "Little Red Riding Hood" was written by the Grimm brothers, I think. A long conversation with Chibiusa [from Sailormoon, © Takeuchi Naoko] with hair theories.
----
Shiine: Before this part begins, can I make a statement?
Mink: *sighs* WHAT?
Shiine: Well... this is all one day?
Mink: Yeah? Your point?
Shiine: WELL? It's exactly 4 parts long?
Mink: YOU HAVE A PROBLEM? *swings her mallet threateningly*
Shiine: Ehehe... no, of course not. ^_^;
It was a VERY long day, and of course, everyone realised it too -- but who dared complain? Mink had recently received mallet lessons from the mallet master of all time in the show, Dorothy (and heck, she's likely to be a mallet master) in between the break of each parts, so she had become somewhat experienced. ^_^
As the group of seven hurried on down, "Doris" looked at the kids irritably. "Okay, for one last time, I said --"
"We know, we know," they chorused. "You're Dorothy."
"You don't believe me?! I am!" cried "Doris."
Then Chacha looked at her. "If you're Dorothy-chan, why don't you have your dark pink hair?"
Chibiusa: Okay, you know what? She does NOT have pink hair.
Mink: *SHRIEK* What the heck are you doing here?! First and mostly, you don't belong in this 'fic or series! WHO LET YOU IN?! (And I said *DARK* pink...)
Chibiusa: Because *I* am the pink-haired expertise. Are you daring to question that?
Mink: Eep... no... (I don't want to face your stupid Pink Sugar Heart Attack move, as annoying as it is.)
Chibiusa: Well, look at my hair. What does it remind you of?
Mink: Bubblegum... cotton candy... oishii... *grumble* I'm hungry!
Chibiusa: *thwaps Mink* Urusai!
Mink: Whoa, when did little cute (*coff*) girl start using abusive language?
Chibiusa: It is NOT abusive. Now, my hair reminds you of cotton candy, right? Which means only one thing -- I have truly pink hair. Now, Dorothy's hair. Reminds you of what?
Mink: *thinks* *thinks harder* *thinks* *thinks* -_-;
Chibiusa: SEE? She doesn't REALLY have pink hair! SO USE PROPER DESCRIPTIONS!
Mink: *cower* Everyone else calls it pink. .
Chibiusa: BANDWAGON JUMPER!
Mink: ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT!
Chacha corrected herself: "If you're Dorothy-chan, why don't you have your dark magenta hair?"
(Mink: Happy? *grumble* Dark pink was fine before...)
(Chibiusa: Much better. ^_^)
"Doris" sighed. "BECAUSE SERAVI CHANGED MY HAIR!" she shrilled. "He --"
But she didn't have time to finish as Mink quietly wrote in a house in the setting, so the story could move along. -_-;
"Hey! I think that's Seravi-sama's obaa-san's house!" Yakko cried.
Yakko: FINALLY, I speak. And oh, by the way? This is called 'Little Black Riding Hood,' not 'Little Witch Riding Hood.' This 'fic should kind of dedicate my open-ended love for Seravi-sama, and focused on ME!
Mink: So sorry. I didn't realise that the lowly 'fic characters actually had complaints.
Dorothy: WHO'S CALLING ME A WITCH?! *flare*
"Let's go in," Marin said decisively. "Okay?"
Marin: And me! I'm Yakko's SIDEKICK, for heaven's sake! Center it on me!
Mink: Lemme guess... you and Riiya? x.x
Marin: *sparkle* HEYYYYYY~YY! Not a bad idea! ^_^
As Yakko reached for the doorknob, "Doris" interrupted. "Are you sure we can just step into someone's home without ringing the door?" she asked calmly.
"Well, everyone seems to barge in and out of my cottage," Chacha said. "No one really knocks or rings."
"I suppose you have bad influences, then," Yakko said nonchalantly, "minus Seravi-sama."
"ARE YOU CALLING ME A BAD INFLUENCE?" flared "Doris," while Chacha, Riiya, and Shiine tried to calm her down.
Shiine suddenly knocked the door. "Helloooooo!" he called out cheerfully.
"Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!" came a muffled voice, then the seven heard a deep thump.
"WRONG STORY AND WRONG PHRASE!" roared a rather familiar voice inside the house, then the person said, "Who is it?" very sweetly and in a baritone voice, almost a strained voice for a woman.
"We're Seravi-sama's friends!" Yakko said, equally sweetly. "We're here to deliver a basket of sweets from you from your grandchild!"
"Oh, how --" said the muffled voice, and the seven heard another thump, but the door was opened slowly. A funny woman-like person with green hair stepped out timidly. She was fit awkwardly into a pink dress, and her stomach bulged out.
"How be-yoo-tiful!" she said in that awful high voice, which was like fingers scraping against a chalkboard, and everyone cringed (her stomach seemed to quiver, too).
Seravi: Hey, it's not MY fault. I'm not a woman, and I can't serve that voice.
Mink: Screw you. , I should have gotten a better actor.
Seravi: Sorry, what? I couldn't hear you when I went to grab my mallet...
As she woman ushered them in, she licked her lips. "Oh, how plump and delicious you all look!"
"Plump? I'm not plump! I'm on a diet! Oh, I seriously can't look 'plump,' can I?! Oh, Riiya, I dieted just for you, am I plump? Tell me I'm not!" Marin said suddenly.
"Figure of speech!" "Doris" trilled.
"Let's hope," said a muffled voice, poking from the woman's full stomach.
"Did your stomach just talk?!" Riiya exclaimed.
"Hey, are you pregnant?" Chacha said.
"No, I just... ate too much," the woman said, fluffing her hair, looking disgruntled.
"There's something VERY familiar about you," said "Doris." "Have we met?"
The woman suddenly sniffed her in a weird fashionable sense. "I think so!" she said quite happily in that high voice again.
Riiya popped into a wolf form. "Kun-kun..."
The woman suddenly had a funny look on her face. "RESIST THE URGE!" she suddenly screamed. "RESIST THE URGE!" She panted heavily. "MUST -- NOT -- TRANSFORM -- AND -- REVEAL -- IDENTITY --"
(Seravi: Am I having *spasms*? O.O)
Riiya: WHOA! Wait a sec! That's no wolf, it's --
Seravi: *pops a cookie into his mouth* If you keep quiet, I'll give you more.
Mink: Doesn't the whole world know by now, though?
Seravi: Yes, but some people just don't pay attention. *niko*
Mink: Well, they know now, thanks to Riiya's nose. Riiya, you're supposed to know these before-hand...!
Riiya: Really? Well, Seravi, you make a HORRIBLE *pig.* Try a new costume next time! One that's pink and --
Seravi: A... pig? (I was a _wolf_...) And it wasn't a costume, thanks to Dorothy.
Mink: Riiya, you make a HORRIBLE wolf with a bad nose. o.O;
"Are you okay?" Chacha asked worriedly.
"She must be pregnant!" Shiine said. "She must be in labor!"
"But I'm *NOT* pregnant!" yelled the woman.
"Doris" nodded. "Well, if she's in labor, we must help her. Labor pains," "Doris" said importantly.
The seven helped the woman onto a bed. "BUT. I'M. NOT. PREGNANT," screamed the woman.
Chacha: Seravi-sensei's obaa-san is pregnant? *looks faint*
Mink: WELL, it COULD happen! *coff*
"What do we do when a person is pregnant?" Chacha said worriedly.
Shiine gave her funny look. "I don't think guys should be allowed," he said pointedly.
"Why! I want to see the baby!" whined Riiya.
"I TOLD YOU, I'M NOT PREGNANT! I JUST ATE!" shrilled the woman, but no one payed attention.
"Let's see...," Dorothy said, and put her hand on the woman's stomach. "No kicking." Suddenly, she found herself fingering a thick rectangular object in the stomach. "Huh?"
"What is it?! Is it a baby?!" Riiya said excitedly.
"Nooooooooo." Suddenly, Dorothy glowered at the familiar looking woman.
"HAND OVER THE WALKIE TALKIE!"
"Heh? Wh-what walkie talkie?" asked the woman in a nervous squeaky voice, and she sat up. As she did, a black walkie talkie fell from under her dress.
On the walkie talkie, a voice crackled, "Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin! (Is it time yet, Ohkami-sama?)"
"This actually *sounds* like an old woman," Shiine said expertly.
"Then who's that?" Yakko said, pointing to the "woman."
"SERAVI~II!" shrilled "Doris." "TURN MY HAIR BACK RIGHT NOW."
"You ruined it!!" yelled Ohkami Seravi. "I AM THE HUNGRY WOLF! I AM SUPPOSED TO DEVOUR YOU ALL! AND YOU ALL THOUGHT I WAS PREGNANT? THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!"
Shiine: *holds up banner* I don't support Out-Of-Character Actions!
Chacha: *holds up badge* I don't support Out-Of-Character Actions!
Dorothy: *holds up sign* I DO support Out-Of-Character Actions for Seravi!
Mink: Oi oi... -_-;
Thus, the 7 faced Ohkami Seravi. And had to wait till Part 5 (the final chapter?!) for any confrontation...
Tsuzuku! (To be continued!)
----
Shiine: The day is too long!
Mink: SO?! You guys keep interrupting!
Marin: Are you saying it's OUR faults for making this 'fic long?!
Mink: Yes. I am.
Yakko: AND HEL-LO! This 'fic was supposedly centered on me!
Dorothy: Not anymore. =)
Comments, crits. The usual drill. =)
by Mink ([email protected])
Part 4: The Baby
DISCLAIMER: Akazukin Chacha belongs to Ayahana Min; I don't own any of the characters. But the situations, Wolf-Seravi, and Wolf-Dorothy belong to me. ^_^ The actual "Little Red Riding Hood" was written by the Grimm brothers, I think. A long conversation with Chibiusa [from Sailormoon, © Takeuchi Naoko] with hair theories.
----
Shiine: Before this part begins, can I make a statement?
Mink: *sighs* WHAT?
Shiine: Well... this is all one day?
Mink: Yeah? Your point?
Shiine: WELL? It's exactly 4 parts long?
Mink: YOU HAVE A PROBLEM? *swings her mallet threateningly*
Shiine: Ehehe... no, of course not. ^_^;
It was a VERY long day, and of course, everyone realised it too -- but who dared complain? Mink had recently received mallet lessons from the mallet master of all time in the show, Dorothy (and heck, she's likely to be a mallet master) in between the break of each parts, so she had become somewhat experienced. ^_^
As the group of seven hurried on down, "Doris" looked at the kids irritably. "Okay, for one last time, I said --"
"We know, we know," they chorused. "You're Dorothy."
"You don't believe me?! I am!" cried "Doris."
Then Chacha looked at her. "If you're Dorothy-chan, why don't you have your dark pink hair?"
Chibiusa: Okay, you know what? She does NOT have pink hair.
Mink: *SHRIEK* What the heck are you doing here?! First and mostly, you don't belong in this 'fic or series! WHO LET YOU IN?! (And I said *DARK* pink...)
Chibiusa: Because *I* am the pink-haired expertise. Are you daring to question that?
Mink: Eep... no... (I don't want to face your stupid Pink Sugar Heart Attack move, as annoying as it is.)
Chibiusa: Well, look at my hair. What does it remind you of?
Mink: Bubblegum... cotton candy... oishii... *grumble* I'm hungry!
Chibiusa: *thwaps Mink* Urusai!
Mink: Whoa, when did little cute (*coff*) girl start using abusive language?
Chibiusa: It is NOT abusive. Now, my hair reminds you of cotton candy, right? Which means only one thing -- I have truly pink hair. Now, Dorothy's hair. Reminds you of what?
Mink: *thinks* *thinks harder* *thinks* *thinks* -_-;
Chibiusa: SEE? She doesn't REALLY have pink hair! SO USE PROPER DESCRIPTIONS!
Mink: *cower* Everyone else calls it pink. .
Chibiusa: BANDWAGON JUMPER!
Mink: ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT!
Chacha corrected herself: "If you're Dorothy-chan, why don't you have your dark magenta hair?"
(Mink: Happy? *grumble* Dark pink was fine before...)
(Chibiusa: Much better. ^_^)
"Doris" sighed. "BECAUSE SERAVI CHANGED MY HAIR!" she shrilled. "He --"
But she didn't have time to finish as Mink quietly wrote in a house in the setting, so the story could move along. -_-;
"Hey! I think that's Seravi-sama's obaa-san's house!" Yakko cried.
Yakko: FINALLY, I speak. And oh, by the way? This is called 'Little Black Riding Hood,' not 'Little Witch Riding Hood.' This 'fic should kind of dedicate my open-ended love for Seravi-sama, and focused on ME!
Mink: So sorry. I didn't realise that the lowly 'fic characters actually had complaints.
Dorothy: WHO'S CALLING ME A WITCH?! *flare*
"Let's go in," Marin said decisively. "Okay?"
Marin: And me! I'm Yakko's SIDEKICK, for heaven's sake! Center it on me!
Mink: Lemme guess... you and Riiya? x.x
Marin: *sparkle* HEYYYYYY~YY! Not a bad idea! ^_^
As Yakko reached for the doorknob, "Doris" interrupted. "Are you sure we can just step into someone's home without ringing the door?" she asked calmly.
"Well, everyone seems to barge in and out of my cottage," Chacha said. "No one really knocks or rings."
"I suppose you have bad influences, then," Yakko said nonchalantly, "minus Seravi-sama."
"ARE YOU CALLING ME A BAD INFLUENCE?" flared "Doris," while Chacha, Riiya, and Shiine tried to calm her down.
Shiine suddenly knocked the door. "Helloooooo!" he called out cheerfully.
"Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin!" came a muffled voice, then the seven heard a deep thump.
"WRONG STORY AND WRONG PHRASE!" roared a rather familiar voice inside the house, then the person said, "Who is it?" very sweetly and in a baritone voice, almost a strained voice for a woman.
"We're Seravi-sama's friends!" Yakko said, equally sweetly. "We're here to deliver a basket of sweets from you from your grandchild!"
"Oh, how --" said the muffled voice, and the seven heard another thump, but the door was opened slowly. A funny woman-like person with green hair stepped out timidly. She was fit awkwardly into a pink dress, and her stomach bulged out.
"How be-yoo-tiful!" she said in that awful high voice, which was like fingers scraping against a chalkboard, and everyone cringed (her stomach seemed to quiver, too).
Seravi: Hey, it's not MY fault. I'm not a woman, and I can't serve that voice.
Mink: Screw you. , I should have gotten a better actor.
Seravi: Sorry, what? I couldn't hear you when I went to grab my mallet...
As she woman ushered them in, she licked her lips. "Oh, how plump and delicious you all look!"
"Plump? I'm not plump! I'm on a diet! Oh, I seriously can't look 'plump,' can I?! Oh, Riiya, I dieted just for you, am I plump? Tell me I'm not!" Marin said suddenly.
"Figure of speech!" "Doris" trilled.
"Let's hope," said a muffled voice, poking from the woman's full stomach.
"Did your stomach just talk?!" Riiya exclaimed.
"Hey, are you pregnant?" Chacha said.
"No, I just... ate too much," the woman said, fluffing her hair, looking disgruntled.
"There's something VERY familiar about you," said "Doris." "Have we met?"
The woman suddenly sniffed her in a weird fashionable sense. "I think so!" she said quite happily in that high voice again.
Riiya popped into a wolf form. "Kun-kun..."
The woman suddenly had a funny look on her face. "RESIST THE URGE!" she suddenly screamed. "RESIST THE URGE!" She panted heavily. "MUST -- NOT -- TRANSFORM -- AND -- REVEAL -- IDENTITY --"
(Seravi: Am I having *spasms*? O.O)
Riiya: WHOA! Wait a sec! That's no wolf, it's --
Seravi: *pops a cookie into his mouth* If you keep quiet, I'll give you more.
Mink: Doesn't the whole world know by now, though?
Seravi: Yes, but some people just don't pay attention. *niko*
Mink: Well, they know now, thanks to Riiya's nose. Riiya, you're supposed to know these before-hand...!
Riiya: Really? Well, Seravi, you make a HORRIBLE *pig.* Try a new costume next time! One that's pink and --
Seravi: A... pig? (I was a _wolf_...) And it wasn't a costume, thanks to Dorothy.
Mink: Riiya, you make a HORRIBLE wolf with a bad nose. o.O;
"Are you okay?" Chacha asked worriedly.
"She must be pregnant!" Shiine said. "She must be in labor!"
"But I'm *NOT* pregnant!" yelled the woman.
"Doris" nodded. "Well, if she's in labor, we must help her. Labor pains," "Doris" said importantly.
The seven helped the woman onto a bed. "BUT. I'M. NOT. PREGNANT," screamed the woman.
Chacha: Seravi-sensei's obaa-san is pregnant? *looks faint*
Mink: WELL, it COULD happen! *coff*
"What do we do when a person is pregnant?" Chacha said worriedly.
Shiine gave her funny look. "I don't think guys should be allowed," he said pointedly.
"Why! I want to see the baby!" whined Riiya.
"I TOLD YOU, I'M NOT PREGNANT! I JUST ATE!" shrilled the woman, but no one payed attention.
"Let's see...," Dorothy said, and put her hand on the woman's stomach. "No kicking." Suddenly, she found herself fingering a thick rectangular object in the stomach. "Huh?"
"What is it?! Is it a baby?!" Riiya said excitedly.
"Nooooooooo." Suddenly, Dorothy glowered at the familiar looking woman.
"HAND OVER THE WALKIE TALKIE!"
"Heh? Wh-what walkie talkie?" asked the woman in a nervous squeaky voice, and she sat up. As she did, a black walkie talkie fell from under her dress.
On the walkie talkie, a voice crackled, "Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin! (Is it time yet, Ohkami-sama?)"
"This actually *sounds* like an old woman," Shiine said expertly.
"Then who's that?" Yakko said, pointing to the "woman."
"SERAVI~II!" shrilled "Doris." "TURN MY HAIR BACK RIGHT NOW."
"You ruined it!!" yelled Ohkami Seravi. "I AM THE HUNGRY WOLF! I AM SUPPOSED TO DEVOUR YOU ALL! AND YOU ALL THOUGHT I WAS PREGNANT? THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!"
Shiine: *holds up banner* I don't support Out-Of-Character Actions!
Chacha: *holds up badge* I don't support Out-Of-Character Actions!
Dorothy: *holds up sign* I DO support Out-Of-Character Actions for Seravi!
Mink: Oi oi... -_-;
Thus, the 7 faced Ohkami Seravi. And had to wait till Part 5 (the final chapter?!) for any confrontation...
Tsuzuku! (To be continued!)
----
Shiine: The day is too long!
Mink: SO?! You guys keep interrupting!
Marin: Are you saying it's OUR faults for making this 'fic long?!
Mink: Yes. I am.
Yakko: AND HEL-LO! This 'fic was supposedly centered on me!
Dorothy: Not anymore. =)
Comments, crits. The usual drill. =)