UNPRANKABLE

Chapter 8: Of Broom Closets and Kisses


"Things getting better between James and Lily?" said Justine hopefully as Sirius took a place across from her at the Gryffindor table for lunch.

Sirius laughed dryly. "About as much as Snape and James became best friends." Remus twitched slightly.

"It's been two weeks since they've even talked to each other!" Justine moaned, her head falling into her hands limply.

"Well after the whole Snape thing, you wouldn't really expect them to, would you?" Remus commented bitterly. Sirius knew that he felt guilty over the whole incident. He believed that it was his fault because they all had to go out there every month, so Sirius put an comforting arm around him.

"Remus, its not your fault," he said calmly. Suddenly his face twisted and he wailed, "Its mine," and dropped his head onto the table.

"Um, Sirius?" said Lea, sounding as if she was muffling her laughter. "You sort of just stuffed your head into the mashed potatoes."

Sirius lifted his head. Several white, mushy clumps of mashed potato fell off of his face and onto his pants. "Oh, thats just great," he said sarcastically. "You know what? I don't really care at this point," he spat sourly, sticking his head back in the potatoes.

"I'm not even going to ask what happened," said James, raising his eyebrows and seating himself at the table.

"Eye aryoo lade phfoor ffdinner?" Peter said thickly through a mouthful of chicken.

"Excuse me?" said James amusedly, raising his eyebrows.

Peter swallowed. "Why are you late for dinner?"

"Oh,dunno," muttered James absently.

"What? How can you not know why you were-" began Peter.

"Hi Lily!" interrupted Lea pointedly. Peter stopped talking at once, and resumed eating (ha, he was practically chugging) his chicken.

"Hi," she answered stiffly, sitting as far away from James as possible. James glanced at her sadly, but she pretended not to notice. She saw Peter stuffing the chicken in his mouth out of the corner of her eye and opened her own mouth to tell him that it was gross and disruptive, but she closed it again when she remembered she wasn't speaking to him or any of the marauders. Lily put some steak on her plate, and as she reached for the jug of pumpkin juice she saw a pompous figure making his way towards her.

"Oh shit," she moaned softly to Lea and Justine. "Here he comes…." She quickly poured herself some pumpkin juice and swallowed some quickly, massaging her temples.

"Who?" asked Justine curiously.

"Diggory," Lily groaned, her face miserable. "He keeps on following me around!"

"That player –" started Lea angrily, but Lily shushed her. She quickly turned around and pasted a fake grin on her face as Amos became closer.

"Hi Lily!" exclaimed Amos, if as on cue.

"Hi Amos," she said, sounding bored. "What a pleasant surprise." To the contrary, she sounded as if she would rather be having a conversation with the Bloody Baron, but Amos did not seem to notice.

Amos coughed, and flipped his hair back. "I was wondering if you had anyone to go to Hogsmeade with tomorrow," he said arrogantly, flashing her what he probably thought was a dazzling smile.

"Um, well…no…" she answered truthfully, regretting it instantly. She could have told him that she was going with Lea and Justine…but now, it was too late. Amos was already getting down on one knee. Lily groaned inwardly. He was not making this easy.

Amos grasped her hand. "Would you allow me the honor of going with you?" he asked dramatically, gazing into her eyes. Lea began to choke on her chicken, and Remus (who was sitting next to her) had to get up and give her the Heimlich. Sirius lifted his now white face and stared at Amos, who looked a bit taken aback at seeing a replica of frosty the snowman across the table. And James...well, James just looked like he was going to kill Amos. Luckily, Peter noticed the murderous look on James' face and restrained him with his arms.

"Uh…well…" Lily stammered, looking around the room for a way out. She glanced at James and saw that he looked furious. She then knew what she had to do.

"Amos," she declared loudly. "I would love to go to Hogsmeade with you." She glanced quickly at James, who was staring at her with a mixture of shock, confusion, and hurt.

"Great, we'll meet up tomorow then!" he exclaimed, getting up and kissing her hand. "I'll meet you at 10 at that old statue of Augustine the 4th." As soon as he was out of earshot, Lily's fake smile flew off her face, and she dropped her head in her hands.

"Why did you do that?" groaned Justine. "I thought you hated him!"

Lily looked at her for a sec, then whispered to her, "Look at James' face."

Justine glanced at James, then back at Lily. "Ah," she said softly back to Lily. "I see what you're doing. But you have to put up with Amos, poor Lily."

Lily giggled. "Yeah, what a prick."

Remus must have overheard that last sentence, because he said, "Um... how about not going out with him then?" Lily glared at him, and he held up his hands. "Just a suggestion."

Lily sighed and put her fork down, her dinner uneaten. "I guess I'll go back to the Common Room then, I still have to do that Divination essay…" said Lily, getting up. "I'll see you later," she said to Lea and Justine. As soon as she had left, everyone turned to James, whose hazel eyes were following her out the Great Hall sadly.

"You're in deep shit with her, you know," said Lea bluntly.

"Thanks a lot Lea," he answered sarcastically, turning around to face his friends. "What do I do?" he moaned, shaking his head and banging on the table with his fist.

"I honestly don't know," said Lea, who did not know what had happened the night Lily followed the marauders into the shrieking shack. "You guys were all chummy, then all of the sudden everything just went kaput!"

Sirius lifted his face, and grabbed a napkin. He wiped off all of the potato remnants, and looked at Lea, who was staring at him curiously. He then began to plead with James.

"Can I please tell her, James? She won't tell, I know it!"

Remus cleared his throat. "I think that Remus is who you should be asking," said James, rolling his eyes as Sirius practically pounced on him.

"Oh please Remus," Sirius begged. "You won't tell anyone, will you Lea?" he added, turning to Lea, who looked a bit taken aback, but nevertheless replied, "Of course...?"

Remus sighed, and nodded. "Thanks!" Sirius chirped, turning back to Lea, who now looked REALLY confused.

"Ok, what's going on?" she said curiously.

Sirius looked deep into her eyes. "You have to promise not to tell anyone, Lea," he said slowly, his eyes boring into hers.

Lea looked flustered at his intimate eye contact. "I – um –" she stumbled. "O-of course I won't tell anyone!" she finally managed to say, relieved that she could talk understandably once more.

Sirius glanced around quickly to make sure that no one was listening, and leaned over to whisper in Lea's ear. Lea's eyes gradually became wider and wider, and she stared at Remus, who shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

As Sirius sat back in his seat again, Lea hung her head, running her fingers through it over and over. It was one of her nervous habits, and Remus was looking at her causiously, afraid of what she might say. He was surprised to see two tear stains on her pretty face when she glanced up again.

"Lea," he said softly. "What's wrong?"

Lea shook her head, her long brown hair flying everywhere. "I'm – I'm so sorry, Remus," she whispered, staring at him with her big brown eyes. "I'm just so afraid for you!"

Remus' own eyes watered. "Lea, its not your fault –"

"I know that," Lea whispered, and he stopped talking, still staring at her. "But all those times that I yelled at you for being out past hours…I shouldn't have…its not your fault either…"

"Oh, Lea," Remus whispered. "You have nothing to feel guilty for."

It was at that moment that Sirius felt his stomach jolt. Lea and Remus – sharing a tender moment? It wasn't possible – he was dating that other chick – and…Lea…

Sirius coughed loudly, and Remus and Lea both stared at him. "I think its time to – um – go…" he said, feeling his face redden enormously. James was smirking, and Remus was too, but Lea just looked confused.

"Why do we have to go?" she said, drying her tears with the sleeve of her robes.

"Um…" Sirius mumbled. "Well, you know –"

"Oh yeah, Sirius, thanks for reminding me," said Remus loudly. "We have that potions paper to finish."

"You guys still haven't done that?" said Justine, laughing slightly.

Sirius grinned out of relief. "Yeah," he said, shrugging. "Lets go, Remus." They got up and began making their way towards the door.

"Thanks for that, mate," Sirius whispered inconspicuously.

"Anytime," Remus whispered back, smiling.


"Well you know Lily, my family tree is very intricate! It's quite interesting, really," said Amos, his arm draped around Lily's shoulders possesively. She sighed disgustedly, tuning out on Amos' incessant blabber. He had been going on about his family line for awhile now, and it was neither intricate or interesting. She had been daydreaming ever since she got to the Three Broomsticks an hour or two ago.

If only she could get away...

Suddenly, an idea popped into Lily's head. "Hey, um, Amos?"

Amos stopped talking, and glared at her. "I was just getting to the best part!"

"What? Oh yes, yes its very interesting Amos, but I'm not really feeling well…I'm afraid I have to go back," Lily said, trying to sound saddened, She coughed for good measure.

Amos looked disappointed. "Are you sure? I myself know a few healing charms, perhaps –"

"No, Amos, its fine," Lily interrupted, standing up and dropping a few sickles onto the table for her drink. "Thanks for everything Amos, I had a great time," she lied, walking out of the shop.

She heard footsteps behind her, and Amos call of "Lily, wait!" made her stop and turn around.

Amos ran up to her, out of breath. "At least let me walk you back to the castle," he said.

Lily stifled a groan. "Ok," she said through clenched teeth.

Once back at the castle, Amos insisted that they take the long route, obviously trying to snog her before the night is over. He continued to talk inconsistently, and Lily was afraid that the only way to shut him up would be to kiss him. She shuddered at the thought.

Lily glanced around for an escape. Astronomy tower… no, that wouldn't work…couples usually made out there. Lily shuddered again and Amos stopped talking to look at her, confused.

"Are you alright, Lily? You're shivering."

Lily smiled weakly. "I'm ok," she said blearily, just waiting for this night to end.

A few minutes later, Lily's patience was at its end. Amos had begun talking about his previous girlfriends, something Lily did not want to picture.

"And Ginger, woah, she was hot," he said dreamily. "She – Lily? Lily, where are you going?"

Lily had taken off at that last statement, running around the corner at top speed. She could hear Amos huffing behind her, and opened the nearest door, running inside and closing it.

"Finally," she said, wiping her forehead. "Away from that IDIOT."

"Idiot?"

Lily jumped and stared behind her. James Potter was grinning at her from the other corner of the closet.

"James," she gasped, holding a hand to her chest. "You scared the life out of me!"

James shrugged, still smiling. "So Diggory is an idiot, eh?"

Lily groaned and nodded, holding a finger up to her mouth and pressing her ear to the door. Silence. "He left, thank God," she said, giggling.

"Well, I'll be leaving then!" exclaimed James nervously, fiddling with the door handle. He tried to open it, but the handle wouldn't turn.

"Don't tell me," said Lily, closing her eyes in horrible realization. "We're locked in."

"Shit," James cursed, and flung himself to the other side of the closet again. Lily groaned again at his confermation, and put her hands to her head.

James smiled as best as he could. Lily took a few deep breaths, then got up and tried the door knob herself, pulling on it as hard as she could.

"Shit!" Lily shrieked, just as James had done a minute or two before.

"What?"

"I just broke the handle off," she moaned.

James sniggered. Lily looked at him, and burst into laughter herself. After a few minutes, however, they began to calm down.

"James?" said Lily, sounding scared.

"Yeah?" James said, smile wiped from his face and replaced with one of concern.

"This doesn't mean I forgive you, you know," she said awkwardly.

"But you're talking to me," James pointed out.

Lily banged on the wall as she remembered that she wasn't supposed to be speaking to any of the marauders. "Dammit!" James chuckled, and she glared at him. "Well after what you did..." she started angrily, but was cut of by James' equally heated voice.

"I didn't do anything!" he said, irritated.

"Oh, except almost kill Snape!" Lily shouted back at him.

"I knew nothing about it!" James pleaded.

"Oh come on, don't lie!" Lily scoffed.

"I am not lying!" James cried anxiously.

Lily just sighed, and he was quiet once more. "I wish you would believe me, Lily," he said softly.

Lily looked at him, her eyes full of pity. "I wish I could believe you, James."

"Why can't you?" he fumed. "Why won't you?"

"Because of what you've done in the past, James!" Lily shouted, her temper flaring once more. "You could be lying right now, this could all be some sort of prank!"

James almost laughed. "That's why you won't forgive me?"

Lily stared at him, confused at his sudden mood change. "Yes, why?"

"Because it's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" James flung his hands up into the air. "Why would I lie about something like this, Lily? Hasn't our friendship taught you anything about me?"

Lily turned away from him so he couldn't see her watering eyes. James sighed, and when she had dried her eyes, he was looking at the wall.

"Do you think anyone's going to rescue us?" asked James a few minutes later. Lily glared at him.

"Someone better, or you can kiss that pretty face goodbye!"

"Pretty face? Wow. I believe Lady Lily just complimented me!" James said mockingly.

Lily gave an exasperated noise, and shifted her position, yawning.

"So why were you in here anyway?" asked Lily as civilly as she could.

"Sirius had a bit of fun with pink hair dye and Malfoy, and unfortunately I seem to be the one getting blamed," laughed James.

Lily gave a polite laugh and fell silent.

"I didn't have anything to do with it!" James said suddenly. Lily looked up at him as he continued. "To make a long story short, Sirius organized the whole thing without telling us. I wouldn't have put Moony's secret in danger! I mean," he continued desperately. "I know I pull pranks and stuff, but I would never – never betray someone like that."

Lily's eyes were wide, and a tear slipped down her cheek as her lip began to tremble. James crawled over to her and took her in his arms, wiping the tear off of her face. "Well look at that, Lily Evans crying," he whispered as she began to cry. Lily pulled her lips up to his ear, and James felt his heart begin to race.

"I forgive you, James."

James felt his heart jump, and a grin was plastered on his face. James didn't think he could get rid of that smile if he tried.

He turned his face to look at Lily, ready to thank her, but he was cut off by her eyes. Dark hazel met emerald green, and the electric shock Lily had felt when their hands had touched flew through her again. James' breathing became heavy, and he leaned forward, towards her face. James didn't know what was coming over him, this feeling of boldness, but he knew he should take advantage of it while he still could.

Their faces were inches apart now – he could feel Lily's breath on his face. She's not pulling away, he thought with fervor. She wants to kiss me! With a sudden burst of confidence, James pressed his lips against Lily's, pulling his arms tighter around her waist. Lily responded almost immediately, her hand sneaking up his neck and fiddling with his hair.

And then – it was over.

James backed up, his eyes wide and his heart beating faster than ever at what he had just done. He'd wanted to do that for longer than he could remember, but could never muster up enough courage to actually do it.

Lily's mind was whirling – the door that usually closed when she had completed a thought stayed open, and one sentence was running through her mind, over and over. James just kissed me. James just kissed me. James just kissed me!

James didn't know what to say. So he hugged Lily close and rested his eyes.

Before he knew it, he was fast asleep, dreams of a red headed girl running through his head.


"Hello?"

"Is anyone in there?"

"Ughhh," Lily moaned, and opened her eyes, blearily looking around. She had heard a voice…a boy's voice…where was it coming from? She blinked, and everything came into focus – including the fact that she was sleeping on a warm, breathing pillow.

"James!" she squeaked, trying to scramble out of his arms. However, James was still asleep, and Lily was providing him with body heat. He wrapped his arm's tighter around her, and Lily blushed, memories of the previous night rushing back to her.

"Hey, is someone in there?" came a voice again, this time a girl's.

James opened his eyes lazily. His eyes widened as he saw that he was clutching to Lily as if she were his favorite toy. He let go and she sprung away from him, both in slight shock.

What was left of the handle started moving. Someone was trying to get in – the boy and girl she had heard, no doubt. That boy's voice had seemed familiar to Lily…

"Come on, baby!" said the boy, trying to be suave. "We can go 'get it on' somewhere else!"

"But this is our favorite place!" whined the girl.

As if coming out of a reverie, Lily shouted "Hey, we're in here!"

"Ahh! There are PEOPLE in here!" cried the girl's voice.

"Oh my gosh!" yelled the boy frantically.

"We're going to get caught!" the girl hissed.

"Please help us!" cried James, banging on the door.

"But what about us snogging, huh? What about that?" the boy asked mockingly.

"Will you two quit it and get us OUT?" Lily shouted angrily.

"He's right," said the girl's voice. "But we're going to have to pull the hinges off!" Lily giggled, and light became streaming through where the hinges had previously been. It was a matter of minutes before the couple had managed to remove the door completely. Lily stepped out first, and came face to face with Amos Diggory, who's hand was clutched by a slutty Ravenclaw girl.

"Um, I guess I won't be seeing you tomorrow then!" exclaimed Lily, overjoyed. James came out next, and as he saw Diggory, his face became a mask of rage.

"I can't believe you would cheat on Lily!" he growled, and Amos whimpered. "Who else could you get that is better than Lily?"

Amos Diggory stared at her in shock. "But-Well, I'm- I-I-" he stuttered.

"Don't bother," she smiled. "And James," she added, smiling shyly at him. "Thanks." James smiled at her, and whispered, "No problem."

"C'mon, Amos," the girl whined, tugging on the boy's arm. "I don't wanna watch these two make googoo eyes all night, lets go!" Amos gave one last frightened stare at James, and the two scampered off into the distance.

"Well," said James uncomfortably. "Shall we go, my fair lady?"

Lily giggled, and took the hand he offered to her. "I would be honored, handsome knight." James smiled at her, and hesitantly leaned forward to kiss her on the cheek. Lily smiled back, but said, "You missed." James grinned, and Lily's knees became weak as he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers.


A/N: There we go! I hope you like it... I had a great time writing it! Thanks go to my beta who is WONDERFUL! Lol, now for my beloved reviewers...

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! (even to those I haven't heard from in a while.. ;) Cupcakes for Hazel Shine, ArtemisPotter, PotterScar, and yellow notepaper (my beta- check out her stories, they're really good!)

Next chapter... Some Sirius/someone special, some Remus/Justine... And of course some Lily/James. Maybe even a good ol' Marauder prank!

Love to all!