Miss me, but let me go

Miss me a little but not for long

And not with your head bowed low

Remember the fun that we once shared

Miss me but let me go

For life is a journey we must take

The End we go through alone

Its all just part of our travel

A step on our road to Home

When you are lonely, sad and upset

Go to the friends we know

And bury your sorrow in your good deeds

Miss me, but let me go

- Anonymous

EPILOGUE

Requiem for Vegeta

"You ready to go, dad?"

It's the memorial service for Vegeta today. I pull on my blue wristbands and look in the mirror. I changed my gi colours to blue, and I have the royal crest of the House of Vegeta emblazoned on the back of my shirt. The colour and crest of my sensei, Vegeta. It looks like Vegito's outfit, just with a crest and my black boots and wristbands.

We're all wearing our combat gear to the service; it is what Vegeta would have wanted.

I've been doing alright. Not all that great, but I do okay. I watch the videos from the gravitron camera from our trip. Watch Vegeta grin and watch us battle and play tail games. It helps me on the harder days. I turn to Goten and nod. Goten has been a real help over the last year. He's helped Trunks heal, and he's been there for me. Chichi has supported me and I'm surprised at the solidarity between my family and Vegeta's. Bulma took it well, but she's aged quite a bit.

For all the worry Vegeta caused her, he still kept her young.

I teleport Chichi, Goten and myself to the Capsule Corp. atrium where the service is being held. Piccolo and Dende are there, as well as Gohan and Videl. Trunks stands to one side, cradling his baby sister. Bulma says she was conceived on the last night of Vegeta's life; Vegeta must have known that the baby would help Bulma get through her harder days.

We all greet, then stand around Vegeta's gravestone. It's simple; just black marble and carvings, but fitting. Its set in a small clearing overhung with vines and wisteria with a nearby bench. Bulma says a few words, and we simply stand and remember everything Vegeta stood for. Pride, strength, honour, family, friends and comrades. I look at the stone, and remember all the sides I saw of the man.

He was always my greatest rival, I can't deny that. But all it took was a month in his company and that short shit wormed his way up my nose and down into my heart. Somehow made me like him, made me love him, despite all our differences. I suppose our big fight woke us both to the possibilities of something other than intense, bitter rivalry.

I never thought I'd miss him quite this much. It's not supposed to be this hard, dammit.

Sure, I still smile and grin, but not as much as I used to. I learnt one thing (of many) with him; sometimes a mindless grin helps to hide the fact that I don't really know what to say or do in a situation. I still train every single day though, working through the list of exercises he left me. Chichi finds it hilarious that I wear a blindfold for an hour everyday, improving my radar sense. I promised him that I'd stay strong. At the time, I didn't know that he was going to die on me. But I'll honour my promise because it's all I can do to thank him for all he taught me.

He didn't just make me insanely stronger; he pulled out a part of me I never knew was there. He showed me what I'm truly capable of, the depths of my determination. I can't say thanks enough for that.

Vegeta…Prince…

It's ironic that one of the strongest guys I've ever known had to die from something as human as a weak heart. I would have expected him to die after a long, hard battle, still victorious but fatally wounded. Something glorious, more fitting of a golden Prince. A flash of light, or a roar, something! Not a quiet whisper of goodbye. It makes it harder to bear.

I won't be seeing him for a very long time. He died in his late forties and I'll probably live to see two hundred and fifty. I'm not sure I want to live that long. It'll be lonely.

Standing here at his gravestone at Capsule Corp, the quiet ache burns just a little more. I'd like to see him again, to tell him how much I've improved, to tell him that he's a daddy again.

Mostly, I just want to tell him how much I miss him.

A few nervous smiles and laughs are shared as stories are related. Piccolo mentions the day that he accompanied Vegeta and Trunks to the fun fair, and how Vegeta got sick on candy floss after eating reams of the stuff. Bulma holds Bra in her arms, looking at the blue tail curled around her wrist. Trunks talks of how his dad was a Playstation fiend, how he didn't sleep much and preferred to play games late into the night. I tell them about some of our training and Vegeta's method of catching fish.

The mood slowly lightens and I look around at everyone. Trunks has become far more mature after nursing his mother through a difficult pregnancy (Saiyan babies are hell even before they're born) and trying to live up to his father's expectations. Man of the house at eleven years old. The baby -- her name is Bra -- is beautiful. Although she appears to be a Bulma clone, there's something of Vegeta in the determined set of her jaw, in that frown she has when she wants something and no one is listening. And the lungs…those have to be Vegeta's.

Everyone sort of clumps off, and I'm left by myself. A movement in the corner of my eye turns my head, and I see a painfully familiar blue combat suit turn a corner. I must be hallucinating, but I follow it anyway.

I catch glimpses of a white boot, of spikes, following until I'm well and truly lost in the maze that is Capsule Corp. As I turn a corner a hand grabs my wrist and pulls me into a room, and soft lips meet mine.

(shonen-ai)

This is a cruel joke someone is playing on me, but I'll fall for it anyway. I bury a hand in familiar spikes and wrap my arm around a slim waist that I'll never forget, no matter how bad my memory gets. A tail wraps around my thigh and squeezes, a warm tongue seeks out mine.

I can't help crying. Memories of a lover lost plague me and I hold the figure closer, wishing that it really was Vegeta and not some vindictive figment of my imagination. Those breathtaking lips leave mine, and hands cup my face.

(shonen-ai end)

"Your face is leaking, Kakarot."

That voice…that phrase…Vegeta, why did you have to die on me? I won't open my eyes, I want to pretend. Oh gods, it's been so hard…so hard to be the last, to be alone again.

"Kakarot, look at me, please."

I shake my head. Fingers trail down my face.

"I'm not a dream. Trust me on this, okay?"

I nod, then open my eyes slowly. I see dark eyes, the spikes, the face that I've dreamt of, that I've missed more than I thought possible. He smiles and leans upwards to kiss away my tears, the way I kissed his tears when he was overjoyed to see his home again.

"Vegeta…you're alive…"

He shakes his head slightly and points up at his halo. "No, but I asked for a few minutes on Earth. They wouldn't grant me more than an hour or so, but I'll be able to visit for a whole day in seven years time, like you did."

(bits of shonen-ai to come…aren't warnings irritating?)

I smile and hold him. "I've missed you. I don't know how I've made it this long without you."

He leans into me, looking up as best he can. "I knew you would make it. You're too strong to let yourself down. I've been following everything and I saw how you fought off that invader six months ago. I nearly burst with pride when I watched you fight."

I grin and nuzzle his hair. "It's good to know that you're keeping an eye on me."

He leans up and gives me another kiss. "Of course, Kakarot. I couldn't keep my eyes off you if I tried. I want to have a quick word with everyone; I think I've got forty or so minutes left but I wanted to see you first. I couldn't wait to see you again; it's lonely on Grand Kai's planet. I mean, the fighting is great, but the nights are terrible. I just lie in bed and wish I had you there with me."

He grins and I can't help grinning in return.

"But when you get to my side, you're in so much trouble, Kakarot."

I lean down, kiss him again, spoiling myself with the taste and feel. But we pull apart; he must see his family, and especially his daughter. We walk back to the others, tails loosely clasped together.

(shonen-ai over now…you can open your eyes, boys.)

"I like the new gi. Blue suits you."

I grin and tug at it. "I always honour the teachers I've had, so I thought blue and the royal crest was apt. The original crest is kept safely locked away and I usually have the sword with me. I didn't think it would be appropriate to wear it to a memorial service."

"Ah. Such a social conscience."

I smack him playfully, get the evil grin in return. We walk into the atrium, our tails slipping apart and Vegeta is almost knocked off his feet by Trunks and Bulma. Joyful tears are shed, and I watch the Briefs family be reunited, even if it just for a little while. Vegeta takes his daughter into his arms, looks proud and happy. He gives Trunks a long hug, says something that I can't hear but cheers Trunks up. He greets my family, and Piccolo and Dende.

But I can't help a laugh when he charges over to the food and grabs some sushi. He tries to talk and eat, but eventually Bulma tells him to fill up first. He grins and ploughs his way through the impressive spread. I know why; the food Up There isn't as good as this. He eats in under ten minutes, and we all ask questions of each other. What has he been doing? What have we been doing?

All too soon, Baba floats into the Atrium on her crystal ball. Vegeta's face falls when she tells him that it's time to go. He sighs, nods, then turns back to us. He hugs and shakes hands. The two of us hug tightly, telepathically exchanging words of love and dismay at separation. He kisses Bulma goodbye, holds his daughter one last time. Then he separates from us and stands next to Baba.

"I'm watching all of you, don't forget that. See you someday, rather later than sooner."

We wave and he waves back before disappearing with Baba. There is excited talk about his return, but I just stand and smile to myself.

Vegeta never really left us, or abandoned us. He grieved as we did, lives alone and waits for his family…waits for me. I touch my fingers to my lips for a moment, my tail flicking behind me.

Vegeta…you're never forgotten. And someday, we'll all be together again. At the very least, I know I'll see you in seven years time. Maybe there'll be a Kai who will give up his life for you, like Old Kai did for me. Maybe we'll get to fight an enemy together, like old times.

I should be sad that I've lost you again, but I know you're not gone. I've got you with me always; in the crest around my neck, in the sword on my back, in the memories in my heart and most of all…

I've got you by my side even when you're not here.

Your memory keeps me strong, keeps me going. And, Vegeta, my Prince and sensei and lover and friend, you know that we're Saiyans.

We're both just too damn stubborn to forget each other.

END

Funeral Blues

W. H. Auden

(written for his life partner after his death)

From a grieving Kakarot

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,

Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,

Silence the pianos and with muffled drum,

Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead,

Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead,

Put crepe bows around the white necks of the public doves,

Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East, my West,

My working week and Sunday rest,

My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;

I thought love would last forever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one;

Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;

Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;

For nothing now can ever come to any good.

Do not stand at my grave and weep

Mary Elizabeth Frye

Vegeta's consolation

Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,

I am the gently falling snow.

I am the gentle showers of rain,

I am the fields of ripening grain.

I am in the morning hush,

I am in the graceful rush

Of beautiful birds in circling flight.

I am the starshine of the night.

I am in the flowers that bloom,

I am in a quiet room.

I am in the birds that sing,

I am in each lovely thing.

Do not stand at my grave and cry

I am not there – I do not die.

AN: And so, 110 pages later, this story comes to a close. Thank you to all my reviewers for staying with me, especially those who didn't flame me for letting Vegeta die.

The title comes from one of my favourite Vegeta moments. Remember when he was facing off to Majin Buu and he had that short, one minute tribute in his mind to Kakarot? There are those lines:

"What was that? Kakarot? Is that clown playing tricks on me, or am I just seeing things? Why is it that Kakarot haunts me so? Is it because he's always been one step ahead of me, always succeeding where I have failed? First it was Frieza, defeating the tyrant that had held me in bondage my whole life. And then there was Cell. 'Noble Kakarot'! Giving his life for the lives of his friends…for my life! Well, no more! After all we've been through, it's finally my turn. I'll settle this so we can both rest in peace. Kakarot, when you wake up, this will all be over. I may be gone, but this planet will be safe. I'll stake my life on it!"

For interest's sake, here is the original Japanese version:

"Kakarot, you were someone who entirely grated on my nerves. Not only were you always one step ahead of me, but after you ended up saving my life, you died on me! You have a good, long sleep, Kakarot. When you wake up this will likely be over, though I may not be around."

So, big, BIG thank-you's to:

Gutterball – for being my adored editor and mentor and giving me the courage and sporking needed to keep writing. Without her, I would have given up two years ago! I cannot express how much this woman matters to me.

Chuquita – for mushy songs and sticking with me every chapter as well as being an inspiration in many wonderful ways, for long reviews about random animes and general DB and for being one of the reasons why I'm still in this game and still visit this irritating website, Fan fiction Gestapo dot net

Lenora – loyal don't even begin to cover it. 'Nuff said.

Clarobell – For always trusting me and wanting my fics for her site, for undying enthusiasm for my work (but not for using my shirt as a tissue…eeewww…) and for just being (probably) my number one fan

Spruceton Spook – For being my most loyal and kind male reader ever and for staying despite his shonen-ai reservations

Yami Persephone – for all her rabid bunny jokes, anecdotes and general craziness, brilliant and random reviews and the bunny cages

John Perry – for his inspiration for the side story

BlackDragonSoul – for her passing out and two Saiyan muses that randomly run off to make out

Wildgirlxyz3 – for her encouraging reviews

There were so many reviewers, ones that came and went but still left a little something behind. Thank you to everyone for your kindness, and even to those that didn't like the story but still took time to leave a review…even if it was a veiled jab. And thanks to those that reviewed, even if they did mysteriously disappear after chapter 13…At least you took the time, ne? I'm too old now to put up a Hall of Shame; I did once but that was rather bitchy. Those who were unkind, you know who you are and never again will you find socks that match.

Veggies Boo, I'm so sorry you came so late but I've missed you terribly! Hope you'll be back for good!

Omnimalevolent: I think we had a love-hate relationship going, but the negative, CONSTRUCTIVE comments were appreciated until you straight out slammed my work right into the ground. I'm sad to lose you as a reviewer though and you'll probably never read this, but thanks for the good moments. You'll still be missed.

But thank you to the following who did leave at least one review: (in no particular order)

Laremi

Warrior from Beyond

Queen Freaky

Blackroseinvasion

Falconsblade (where did you go?)

Linkin Park 04

Marih Dimitri

Viper Vegeta (come back! I miss you!)

Kevornman (also disappeared after the shonen-ai…pity…)

Aseret Kitsune (she of the cunning nickname)

Mighty Agamemmon (another male who disappeared after the shonen-ai…sadly…)

Elenek (what happened to you?)

A Random Fan

Nitara

ChaosBardock

Saiba

J-Girl

M-Python-Girl

Naydin

Yay

SLB0288

…

Dragon'slair

Hopefully, I'll be back soon with some more of my jazz and I hope that I'll receive the same wonderful support I have.

Arigato, reviewers!

With much appreciation,

Zogeta, Brolly and Guybrush