Love, Limes, and Lemonade
Chapter Two
" SHIT! SHORTY KNOWS! "

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Disclaimer: Hagane No Renkinjutsushi is (c) to Hiromu Arakawa and unless Japan is getting rid of characters, I will never ever own any characters from FullMetal Alchemist. Knowing me, if I did, there'd be a yaoi pairing... or two.

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A/N: Thank you for all who reviewed! I got 3 reviews for one chapter! I know that may not seem much to some, but hey, I got reviews. People who read, please review, I would like to hear on how you think of the story, and see if I can make any adjustments! I am a perfectionist and cannot stand incorrect grammar! So correct me if you see any misspelling or anything! Arigatou, and lets get on with the story! Oh, and about the title of the chapter, I really don't know what I was thinking about. n.n;;

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It was 8:11PM. I ran into East City Headquarters, rushing and bumping into everyone who walked passed me.

NO! I DID NOT JUST SEE THAT. TELL ME I JUST DID NOT SEE THAT.

I couldn't deny it though, it happened, didn't it?

I mean... oh shit, the Coloniel and First Lieutenant? You know what, I think Al's right, I had too many cups of coffee. OR MAYBE AL PUT MILK IN THE COFFEE AGAIN... yes. That was the problem. Poisoning from the milk made me see such scary things. Such things that never were meant to happen.

I calmed down and walked towards the lounge, where Riza would usually be polishing her gun at this hour. Hmm, she wasn't there. The image popped into my head again.

NO FUCK DAMNIT! IT DID NOT HAPPEN. DID—NOT—HAPPEN!"

I banged my head on Al's chest as I looked back up at him. Al had looked at me with a brother-you're-totally-losing-it look.

Riza's probably, uh, somewhere in the kitchen, um, getting a snack! Yeah, that was it. What I 'saw' never really happened. Yeah, that's it.

I took a deep breath again then exhaled. I relaxed then headed to the Coloniel's office to tell him I was back from my mission.

I knocked on the door. No answer. I checked the time on my alchemist's watch. 8:20PM. The Coloniel is never done with his work at 8. He's usually done around... midnight.

I decided to check tomorrow morning. He was probably tired from fucking Riza. So I headed to my dormitory.

"Lets get to sleep, Al."

∞

Beep, beep, beep, beep...

Oh god, what time was it? 4:32AM.

My vision blurred then I remembered what happened. I had just made love to the Coloniel last night, starting out with the desk then pulling out my concealed gun from my bra. Wow, I'm so stupid. Without protection too, better go get ingredients for an abortion elixir. I don't want to have that womanizer's baby. Not him. I noticed I was holding my pistol the entire time. I put the pistol in his hand, just a reminder of the night that will never happen again.

The heat just made both of us a little... hm how shall I say it, overly stupid.

I got up and felt... well, dirty. I took one of Roy's sheets and folded up my clothes. I looked at Roy, so peaceful, probably dreaming about fucking a little whore in his little dreamland. Oh well, I'lll let him dream.

I put my uniform under my arm and wrapped the blanket around me. Now I really must be stupid, I'm walking around the headquarters before daylight, naked. I hurried into the bathroom and went to my locker where I kept my shampoo and soap.

I turned the numbers on the padlock. Ten, thirty, four. I heard the lock click open and I took out my shampoo and conditioner, and soap, and headed into the shower.

I turned on the water, it came down hot and steamy. It felt so relaxing. Talk about a night, heatwave and losing my virginity. Really now, I think I'm losing it. I decided that after, I'm going down to the training grounds to shoot some targets.

Instead of a shower, I decided to take a bath. I filled up the tub and ducked my head in. Everyone in the military had their own tub, for sanitary reasons.

I heard the door come open, it was Ed.

He yawned deeply then walked over to his locker.

"Morning, Lieutenant. I'm sure you had a good night's sleep yesterday?"

I came out of the water and coughed, seeming I had swallowed some of it, reacting to Ed's little statement.

"Yes I did, Major Elric. You should get ready for the day, you don't want Roy to go yelling all over."

"Yeah yeah, I know, I'll watch out for Coloniel Shit. He's probably going to sleep in late again anyways, probably spent last night screwing another slut."

I disregarded his statement and came out of the bath, while Ed just entered. I dried myself, blow dried my hair, then got to fixing it up.

I took my military uniform to the wash and went to my room to grab a fresh, clean uniform.

"Another day... but first's first. Have to go get the ingredients for the drink."

I went into my desk and pulled out a piece of paper.

Abortion Elixir
1 cup of water
2 crushed pine bark pieces
1 drop of melted mercury
4 tablespoons of chimera saliva
Mix thorougly, let sit for 15 minutes, drink quickly, then take a nap.
Pinako Rockbell

I stuffed it in my pocket and then went to my closet, and grabbed a pistol. Might need it, just in case. I grabbed a simple bag, then walked out.

I went to the lobby to see if there was any work to be done.

I skimmed down the list for my name, then checked if I had any assignments.

First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye:
Crimson Alchemist's Execution -- did it
Check up on Ed's work with Chimeras -- did it
Give Majors their assignments for the day -- did it
Collect paperwork from Coloniel Mustang when finished -- well he wasn't done...

I skimmed down the list and took a pen from my pocket.

"TO: COLONIEL ROY MUSTANG
FR: FIRST LT. RIZA HAWKEYE
You are to finish your paperwork and return it to the inbox promptly at 10AM."

Not like he was going to read it, but I left immediately.

I went down to the kitchen and got a cup of water. I put it in a bottle then put it in my bag.

Now for crushed pine bark pieces... two pieces.

I went outside. There were pine trees that simply buried East HQ. I took out a jackknife and carved off two pieces. I put them in my bag and moved on to the next item.

One pinch of melted mercury... ah. That ingredient I had to get from Pinako herself. I'll get it last.

Four tablespoons of chimera saliva. My stomach churned at the thought. It had to be done though. I remembered that Ed had put bottles of Chimera saliva in his office, for he was to examine it. He took more than needed though. I went back inside HQ and went into Ed's office, where he was there.

"May I help you, Hawkeye?"

"Yes, Major Elric. I am in need of four tablespoons of chimera saliva."

He looked at me with a stupefied look. He pointed to his closet and continued to pull on his boots and braid his hair. Funny, how a spunky alchemist like him smelled of oranges. I took a bottle out and stared at it. Teal colored saliva... how loathesome. I took out a measuring cup and took 4 tablespoons, thanked Ed and left.

Lastly... pinch of mercury... it would take way too long to get to Rizenboul. There was mercury in the experimental labs, but only ranks of the Coloniel and higher could explore the lab... damn.

I went to my office and opened the door, only to find Roy inside, sitting in my chair, with his crossed feet on my desk.

"Why hello Riza."

I grabbed my gun and shot.

He fell off the chair and onto the floor.

"Now Riza, is that any way to treat your superior?"

"My apologies sir, but I don't think this is your office."

He sweatdropped and headed towards me. I placed my hand on his shoulder and had nothing to lose.

"Sir, may you do me a favor?"

"What do you require, Lieutenant?"

"I require access to the experimental labs, for I need a sample of the melted mercury."

"Why?"

I looked at him. Should I tell him? Heh, why did the thought even come up, OF COURSE NOT! He would never be able to take up a responsibility, such as the baby.

"Testing."

"Testing what? Poisoning yourself? I hope you DO know that mercury is the deadliest kind of poison right now, second only to the water of the Philosopher's Stone itself."

"I am well aware of that, sir."

"Alright then Hawkeye, you are granted permission, on one condition."

"Anything, sir."

"You will show me the results of your little... 'test.'"

I hesitated.

"Agreed, sir."

"Dismissed."

I walked hastily to the lab and put on gloves, goggles, and a mask. There was a small test tube of silvery liquid, I took a dropper and got one drop.

I took out the other items and quickly crushed the pine bark, then took out the bottle of water. I poured in the disgusting teal colored liquid into the water, along with the bark and put in the mercury.

I forced the vomit-inducing elixir down my throat and then went to my dormitory to sleep.

∞

"Let's go Al! We need to go tell Coloniel Shit about the mission!"

"Brother, I really don't think you should call the Coloniel, Coloniel Shit."

"Why that's quite all right, Alphonse, as long as I can keep calling him Full Mini Alchemist."

Speak of the devil. It was Coloniel Shitface in person.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MINI ALCHEMIST THAT YOU CAN'T SEE THAT YOU'D NEED A MAGNIFYING GLASS?"

Roy chuckled.

I'll wipe that stupid smile off your face you stupid dipshit of a Coloniel.

I shot a murderous glare at the Coloniel and sat on my desk.

"Crimson Alchemist put up a good fight, but in the end, releasing so much power trying to finish me off backfired, and left him bodily injured."

"All right then. Oh and speaking of whi—"

An officer just came rushing in with a paper.

"Urgent news from the Fuhrer, sir."

He saluted then ran out again.

"It seems like you have a new mission, FullMini Alchemist."

I tried to throw a punch at him with my automail arm but he dodged skillfully. That stupid conceited bitch. I'll smack that fucking smirk off his face next alchemist verification exam.

"Ahem, as I was saying, it seems like there's been an attack at Rizenboul, at the Rockbell Automail Shop. Report says that a blonde girl ran off and an old woman was killed. There were crimson colored shards scattered everywere around the area."

"Oh whatever fine fine, I'll go take—wait, WHAT?"

"Rizenboul, Rockbelle—Automail—Shop. Did you get short AND deaf?"

Oh no.

Winry.

∞

A/N: Alright, so another cliffhanger, and well, somewhat of a little bit of fluff and bits and pieces of humor. Lots of language, but I always pictured Ed swearing all over the place anyways. In the manga he swears like a little motherf—well, lets disregard that now. R&R! n.n;;