As the rain turned to a drizzle, the kids silently walked back to camp. When they got back, Kevin stood on a chair and made a speech. "Okay, I guess I'm king again! And I make Calvin, for saving all of us, 'Royal Dude!'"
The kids were very impressed. Calvin wasn't. "'Royal Dude?' What does that even MEAN! Look at Kevin, guys! I didn't see him beat the leader of the, uh... 'terrorists!'"
Rolf stood up. "Rolf agrees! Strange Calvin-Boy has saved us, therefore he should be king!" The kids all agreed.
"Well, you did it," said Hobbes. "We may all be doomed, but I suppose you beat Kevin..."
Calvin jumped up onto the chair himself. "And as my first royal act, I..."
Linus ran in from the closet, interrupting him. "Wait! Everyone! Look at the 'stars!'"
Everyone went into the closet to see new writing on the ceiling. Rolf inspected them closely. "The stars say...that no matter what is said in the future, there will NEVER BE ANOTHER KING! THE STARS HAVE SPOKEN!"
"King of Pride Rock" started again as the kids cheered. Calvin gasped in horror and looked at the stars. "What? WHAT! I didn't even get to be 'royal dude!' Linus, that's YOUR handwriting!"
"You're spitting on me," said Hobbes.
"At least I deserve a ceremony or something!" persisted Calvin. Linus began to think. "Well..."
It was the next morning. Everyone gathered atop the stadium, cheering. Rolf was holding up Calvin like Rafiki held Simba in "The Lion King," Jason and Marcus were flying around in background on a rocket. Ed, Edd, and Eddy had balloons, hats, and other party supplies. It was the perfect ending. Calvin, however, wasn't very happy. "Linus, I'm gonna kill you!"
Chorus and everyone but Calvin: We'll just have to admit
That our jokes ain't funny
In our weak
Our weak parody
WEAK PARODY!
And so ends the "weak" parody. I'd once again like to thank everyone who reviewed this thing in the first place.