Sorry for such a very long wait. We're very lazy teenagers and school is something we use as an excuse not to write. Well, actually school just made us tired.

Err. No, really, we're sorry. It wasn't only school that kept us busy.

Enjoy!

Chapter 4: Ape Shit!

Ed couldn't move. He was like a deer caught in the headlight, who refused to move and just stood there while it got ran over and became new road kill for the garbage man to clean up. Fucking deer, causing that garbage man more work…

Ed was so lost in thought that he hadn't realized that Roy was behind him. Roy reached his arms around the boy and brought his face close to his ear.

"Ed." He breathed, causing the hair on Ed's neck to stand on end, "I have something to show you…"

Ed's cheeks turned as bright as Rudolf's nose. He had remembered reading a certain fiction about him and Roy, and it also happened to have Roy saying the same exact thing.

-FLASHBACK OF THE STORY ED READ!-

Ed was getting back from a mission, which happened to be a fucking goose chase. 'Damn that Mustang.' 'Him in all that hot and bothered glory.' As Ed kept on blaming that hot assed Colonel he made his way to that exact persons office. Right before he entered Mustang's office he had to make his "little" growing problem go away. 'God damn my little needle dick is going berserk.' While Ed tried to stop being horny Roy came up behind him and wrapped his arms around Ed's waist. Ed gasped. 'So much for that fucking solution.'

"Ed." Roy breathed. Caressing Ed's skin with his breath. 'Wow did Roy eat some onions today? Cuz his breath stinks like manure.' "I have something to show you."

Ed felt something hard poke into his back. 'WTF!'

Roy opened his office door and pushed Ed inside. Ed then fell to the floor. Roy dropped down and started dry humping Ed's leg, like a dog. Ed was so surprised that he started to pet Mustangs head.

-END OF FLASHBACK!-

The horrid thought of getting humped like a dog scared Ed more than a little boy alone with Michael Jackson. Ed had been so lost in thought that he hadn't noticed Roy pulling him down the hall and to his office. Roy opened the door and waved Ed inside.

Not a moment after Ed stepped inside had he tripped and fell to the floor.

His face went pale when he felt something humping his leg. "N-NO ROY!" Ed pleaded. He didn't bother looking behind him to see Roy; it was already too gross imagining the carnage that was happening behind him.

"Damnit Hayete!" Ed heard Roy holler. The humping stopped, and he looked up to see Roy holding Hayate. The dog started to whine and humping Roy's arm.
"I thought I told Hawkeye to keep her gay dog away!" Roy said while throwing Hayate out of the room. He quickly shut the door, and helped Ed up."Sorry about that Ed." Roy apologized. "So what were you saying when you were screaming like a little girl?" "Oh, nothing important," Ed replied.

Hawkeye was getting ready for her big date with Mr. Hallow. She was scared that he might take one look at her and run away screaming. She decided to use this facial and nail kit that she bought cheap off Ebay. She took out the shampoo and conditioner first. She hadn't taken a shower in 2 weeks cuz her trailer didn't get enough water. She wanted to actually smell nice for this date. She turned on the shower and took off her clothes. What everybody didn't know was that she wrapped her boobs up so she looked like she had a flat chest. She hated being a woman but you have to do with what you got. And tonight she wanted to show her gonzo boobs to her Mr. Hallow.

She got in the shower and started to wash her hair. All the dirt and grease oozed off her hair in globs. She then washed her body with strawberry scented soap. When she was all done with her shower, she started to do her nails. She took sandpaper and a bush clipper and did her nails. She then painted them red to match her dress that she bought. She moved on to her makeup. She had a little practice so she looked beautiful when she was all done with the makeup.

Hawkeye picked out the little red dress out of her closet. She bought it from Sluts-R-Us. It was so small that it was made for a 12 year old. She was surprised when her melon for boobs actually fit into the thin material. After having her outfit on, makeup, and nails done she curled her hair. Now Hawkeye looked like she belonged down on Main Street selling her body for money. That hoe...

Al looked at himself in the mirror. All he had on was a pink tie that screamed 'I-do-guys-in-the-poop hole'. The last thing he needed was for Trigger Happy thinking he was a fag. He didn't own any clothes, so he went to the stores.

He didn't have much luck. Every store he went to didn't have clothes big enough for him. Plus they kept kicking him out cause he was scaring little kids. Al almost gave up hope, when something caught his eyes.

On top of a building in big, red glowing letters a sign read "BOB'S FAT-N-TALL CLOTHES SHOP!"

Al gave a big girly squeal as he ran down the street to the store.

"Welcome!" said a small, obese man. The man gave Al a funny look. "What can I do for you today?"
"I need a suit!" Al said, still in hyper-little-girl mode.
"Okay…what size?"
"XXXXXX Large."

"HOLY SHIT YOUR FAT" screamed the little fatty. "Not meaning to be rude or anything but how do you fit in that armor?" he asked in a little squeaky voice. His little beady rat eyes looked at Al in an 'OMG YOUR LIKE MOUNT EVEREST' way. Most everybody looked at him in that way. He hated it like some one would if a bird shit on them in front of their date. He just wanted to crush their little bodies and gouge out their eyeballs so they won't look at him anymore. But he ignored like always.

"If I told you I'd have to kill you". The storekeeper shivered a little. Al's voice didn't sound like he was joking.
"Sooooooo, what style of suit do you want?" Fatty asked.
"Oh, something that could get me laid after one date." Al squealed.

The store clerk led Al to the back of the store. They both walked into a room that looked empty. A fat, pudgy hand flicked a button and the room started to change. All of a sudden it wasn't empty, but it was, in fact, filled with the most amazing suits ever.

"Here you go, Biggy," he exclaimed joyfully. "This is the "Bunny Room"."
"Why is it called the "Bunny Room"? Al asked innocently."Because by the end of your date you'll be at it like horny bunnies." Fatty answered proudly.

Al was overcome with joy. He was surely going to win the heart of his date. Even if he had to rip it out of her.

Yes. We updated. And it is long. And we ACTUALLY spell checked it this time! Hope you guys like it, I know we had fun writing it xD

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