Chapter 5
Confessions and Conclusions
Chapter 5
The lab was just as she remembered it, the crisp lighting that each lab held and the state of the art equipment that was essential to the job. As she came up to the trace lab she felt the familiar sting of her sadness as it tried to invade her. She pushed it back and asked Horatio, " Could I go in for just a moment? I promise that I won't touch anything that is being processed."
" Sure. The tech is on break and there's nothing on the scopes. I'll be back in a moment ,ok?" Horatio said as he saw her. She had a distant look in her eyes. " Are you going to be ok here?"
" Yeah sure Horatio. I'll be fine." Alexx said as she pushed the door open. Horatio walked away in the direction of his office, looking back at her.
Alexx walked in and immediately felt the essence of him here. She glanced at what used to be his desk and saw where all of his books had been moved. Then she moved to the tables that held the powerful microscopes and tools that were necessary for the job. She saw him sitting at the table with his head phones on working on a piece of evidence. In an instant that memory faded as she saw him getting up with a file in his hand. She then saw him as he looked up from what he was working on to flash her a smile. Tears came to her eyes as that image faded as well. She sighed audibly as she got up and walked to the desk. The new trace analyst had his belongings scattered across it, but she plainly saw it. It was a picture sticking out from under the desk. Bending down, Alexx tried to reach it but losing her balance causing her to fall forward. As she did so, all of the papers on the desk came crashing down on to the floor. She quickly got up and started to pick up the numerous pages of reports. After she finished her eye caught a piece of light blue fabric that was lodged behind the file cabinet. She pulled with all of her might until she got it loose. Shaking it out, she saw that it was a lab coat. The name T Speedle was written on the left side.
Alexx held it out then pulled it closer to her as the memories flooded her senses. She smelled the faint aroma of his cologne that had been trapped in the fibers. This was the last piece of him that Alexx had. She felt inside the pockets, noticing that there was something there. It was an envelope and it had her name on it. She looked around to make sure that there was noone around then sat down in the chair and draped the lab coat over her lap.
Opening the envelope she saw the letter and a key . She read over the words slowly ,recognizing his hand writing.
Alexx,
If you are reading this then I have done something stupid like getting myself killed. If that is the case, then I am truly sorry. This is a letter to you so I don't want you to show it to anyone. Got it?
Alexx smiled at the thought of him writing this letter.
What I wanted to say to you Alexx is that I love you. You have been there more than anyone. You have been my mother ,my friend, my confidant. I would not have traded the time that I have known you for anything. You have taught me things that I would've never known , like how to trust someone and how to trust myself again. After the death of my best friend, I shut down. I became a shell of the person that I had been. When I met you , I finally knew that I could move on. I could trust you with my friendship. Yes, I know what you are thinking , but Delko was a hanging partner. You , you were my rock. I wish I could be there to tell you this in person, and I wished that I had the courage to do it while I was still alive, but I didn't. I'm sorry.
Alexx, I know that if anything has happened to me, you would grieve. But I don't want you to let it consume you. Let it out and move on. Please carry on with your life. Miss me but let me go.
Remember that life carries on, Alexx.
You must be wondering what the key is for. Well, I being the studious person that I am had a will drawn up and in the event of my death all of my possessions were to be put in storage. Everything should be in there, even my Ducati. The keys to the bike should be in an envelope in the other pocket of my lab coat.
Alexx felt the other pocket, and sure enough, there was the envelope. She opened it and found the key.
Take whatever you want sell the rest , if you like. I don't know if you are going to ride the bike. If not you can let Delko have it. I would plead that you at least tried before giving it to him.
Alexx noticed the hesitation before he started to write again and she saw a stain on the paper , figuring that he had been crying. Tears flowed over as she read the remainder of the letter.
Alexx, I am so sorry that you even have to read this letter. It's existence is a testament to bad choices made in a short time span. I fear that I haven't listened to all of your advice. Please forgive me. Hug Janie and Bryan for me... And save a big hug and kiss for you.
Love ( Your Son)
Tim Speedle.
Alexx folded the letter up and the tears flowed freely and held the key to the Ducati in her hand. She then took off her necklace and slid the key on to it and replaced it back on her neck. Picking up her bag , she slipped the letter in and zipped it up then got up. As she made her way to the door she saw as a young man opened the door and looked at her expectantly. He saw that she had a old lab coat with her.
" Can I help you?" the young man asked.
" I'm ok. My name is Alexx Woods. I used to work here," she said as she extended her hand.
" I am Ryan Wolf. I just joined up a few years ago, but I don't remember hearing about an Alexx Woods. Did you work in the lab?"
" No, I was with the ME's office."
" Medical Examiner? Oh yeah, I remember. You had the fastest scalpel in the east, at least that was what Lt. Caine said."
" Really, he said that?" Alexx asked surprised.
" Yes. He has had the worse time keeping that position filled since you left," Ryan said smiling lightly. " He actually fired Glen because of the amounts of exhumations that had to be performed. It wasn't a good year for the CSIs of Miami."
Alexx saw as Horatio was walking towards the door and she excused herself.
" Will you be around?" Wolfe asked. He had actually liked talking to her. She was the only one who actually listened to him.
" Maybe." Alexx said flashing him a smile as she met Horatio in the corridor
Alexx woke up with the intentions of going to the storage facility before she went to the cemetery and she had little time for any set backs. She was curious to know what was going to happen at two o'clock. She remembered seeing Eric and Calleigh for the first time in three years. Many tears had been shed over the course of the night as well as many laughs. It felt good to be around her family again.
Before leaving the lab she had pulled Horatio to the side and told him that she wanted to come back.
" Are you sure?" he had asked.
" Yes. I think it is about time that I stopped hiding and started dealing." Alexx said. Reading that letter had made her realize that she wasn't following his last wishes and she figured the best way to honor him was by living.
She had been so happy when Horatio told her that it was an absolute must that she come back, that she barely slept through the night. Despite that, she got up easily and took a shower. Walking out of the room, she felt like a new woman.
It only took her about an hour to find the storage facility and she called Horatio to thank him for letting her use a Hummer so that she could get around the city. When she arrived at the front door , she pulled the key to the lock out of her bag. Signing the necessary papers, Alexx followed the attendant to Tim's lot. He instructed her on how to unlock it and then left her to be alone.
She opened the door to the storage room and her eyes took in all that was left of him. There were boxes everywhere, mostly filled with books ranging from plant life to motocross to a chemical elements manual. She then saw the boxes of gourmet cooking pans followed by racks and racks of clothes. She took her time to go through the box that was before her and found his diploma from high school and his Masters Degree from Columbia. Under all of the rest of his accolades she found a photo album. She sat and leafed through the pages and pages of pictures of him as a little boy on up to his time in Miami. Her eyes rested on a picture that was taken at a company picnic, he was leaning on a bat and smiling to someone off camera. The picture made tears come to her eyes as she remembered the killer smile that he rarely let out. Putting the pictures away, she looked at her watch, one thirty. She then circled the rest of the room until she came to what she wanted. She flipped the tarp covering off , revealing the pristine yellow Ducati. She slipped the necklace off and placed the key in the ignition. The sound of the motor was deafening in the small space and after a moment she turned it off. She sat on the bike a moment longer then got off and covered it back. She would be definitely be keeping the Ducati. After she wrote down some information ,collected the photo album, his diplomas and degree, she closed the door and locked it again. She then slipped her necklace back on as she walked back to the Hummer. One forty-five, she had somewhere to be.
A/W
She walked slowly to his resting place , unsure of what she was feeling. The letter had injected her with some peace of mind, but she still had a little piece of her that still wanted to hurt for him. Coming to the headstone she took off her sunglasses and knelt down. Weeds had started to grow up and she quickly pulled them out with her bare hands. The first thing she was going to do was hire someone to keep his grave clean and cut. She wouldn't stand for his final resting place being taken over by weeds.
She traced her fingers over his name and his date of birth and death, feeling the tears starting to roll out of her eyes. She sighed heavily as she let her hand rest on the stone. Feeling someone behind her she turned quickly to see him standing there. He had light in his warm brown eyes and a smile played on his lips. He seemed happy. Alexx pinched herself to make sure that she wasn't sleeping like the other times. When she was satisfied that she was awake, she got up and faced him. He approached her and stood in front of her. She remembered in her dreams that he had felt cold, but there was nothing like that here. Warmness radiated from him.
" Alexx. I am glad to see you got my message. All of them," he said still smiling.
" Yes, I got them. Thank you for the beautiful letter. It is what saved me. Twenty-four hours ago I would've contemplated suicide to end this pain that I carried with me, but I couldn't now that I know how you felt. I intend on fulfilling your wishes, Timmy."
" I just wanted you to finally be happy. I'm kind of upset that it took you three years to find my lab coat though." Tim said as he inched closer with a smirk on his face. " There's no telling who could've gone through it."
" Maybe you knew something that day, Tim. I found it behind the file cabinet, untouched," Alexx said quietly.
" I felt like something was going to happen almost a week before that day , that's when I went and took care of my will, made sure that it was up to date and I established a trust fund for Jaine and Bryan. My dad was filthy rich but I never used any money that he put away for me, with the exception of buying the Ducati, so I figured what a way to repay the woman who took care of me. Now you don't have to worry about money for college. It's all taken care of."
" Timmy, you didn't have to..." Alexx said as she tried to stifle a cry. He had always been so thoughtful.
" I wanted to . You gave me so much. It was the least I could do."
" You being you was enough. But thank you. I am sure they will appreciate it."
" I see you got the keys. You went through my things?" he asked as he shifted his weight.
" Yes. I want to take the pictures and your diplomas and put them up in my office. And I saw your Ducati. Great condition. I am going to keep it. Maybe I will get a license for it." Alexx said giving him a dazzling smile. He smiled back at her.
" I'm glad that you have finally found it, Alexx," Tim said as he reached out for her arm.
" Found what?"
" Rest for your chaotic mind," Speed replied as he pulled her into an embrace. His warmth seeped into her soul replacing the coldness of her grief. Tears flowed down her face as he let her go. " Why are you crying, Alexx?"
" Because I am happy. I have found closure. Instead of pain I feel your life. I know you are in a better place. And that means the world to me."
" Live your life, Alexx, and come to see me. Just because I can't be seen doesn't mean I won't be able to hear you."
" I could never forget about you, Tim, and I never will."
" Good to know. I've got to go now. Remember ' they say life goes on'." Tim said as he turned to walk away.
" Bye Timothy." Alexx said as she wiped the tears from her eyes. The last thing she saw was that same killer smile in the picnic picture. She would remember it until the day she died. As he disappeared, she saw Eric , Calleigh and Horatio walking towards her. She greeted them all with hugs and told them about the storage room. They then sat in silence as they remembered him with happiness in their hearts. Rest had come to all of them, finally.
The End.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed this story .Please read and review. I am interested in knowing how all of you feel about it...