Author's note: I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry for taking so long! Please spare my vital organs. I wasn't slacking; I had to go on a family vacation! Which ended in October. And I had to do school! Except in the afternoon and weekends. And I had to play Sims 2! Which is technically slacking. I guess I've just lost the will to write fanfics. BUT DO NOT FEAR! I shall deliver you this last chapter, my loyal fans. And maybe a sequel to Deception (Dun, Dun, Dun!). Maybe.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot: To ensure that this chapter does not get any later; I will have to skip over the reviews. Thanks for understanding.
Dedication: To grilled cheese sandwiches, for tasting so good.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. At least, not until Phase Beta of my master plan is complete.
424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242
"Oh, Derek!" said Maria.
"Oh, Maria!" said Derek.
"Derek!" said Maria.
"Maria!" said Derek.
"Aflack!" said the duck.
Click, said Raven's remote as she switched the channel.
"Hey, Tom!" said the guy in the commercial. "Are you experiencing burning pains, loss of breath, and your hair, clothes and skin being on fire?"
"OhmyGodI'monfire!" screamed Tom as his body crackled merrily.
"Then you should try…" said the guy, pulling out a fire extinguisher, "FLAME-B-GONE!"
Click.
"Welcome back to Big Amazing Survival Factor Idol!"
Click.
"Tonight on The Apprentice: Slade had narrowed it down to four contestants. Who will win the prize of being an evil genius's protégé, and who will have to hear the words 'You're fired, now I'm going to zap you with these nano-bot things?'"
Click.
"When there's trouble, you know who to ca…"
Click.
424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242
Elsewhere, the smitten Beast Boy had devised a new plan to win Raven's heart: the old "sneak-into-her-room-and-find-out-what-she's-into" technique. He had snuck into her empty lair without setting off any traps, but he was still wary.
"Now," he said, "Let's see what we can find." His first discovery was that Raven had a thing for weird statues. "I wonder what these would get at Antiques Roadshow… Nah." Next he checked the bookshelf. "Hey!" he exclaimed. "Harry Potter and the Halfblood Prince! I especially liked the part where…"
SPIOLER ALERT!
SPOILER ALERT!
SPOILER ALERT!
"…Ron gets bling-bling."
END OF SPOILER ALERT!
END OF SPOILER ALERT! END
OF SPOILER ALERT!
The shape-shifter tossed the book aside. "Man!" he said in frustration. "None of this stuff is helping me! I guess I'll just have to use Plan B."
Oh no! Not Plan B!
"Yes," Beast Boy affirmed, "Plan B."
But it's never been tested! A fusion reactor of that size exposed to that much bubble gum could take out the whole city!
"No, not that Plan B! The other Plan B."
Oh.
424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242
Click.
"And now back to The Winx Club!"
"Noooooooooooo!" screamed Raven. "It burns us!"
Click, click, click, click, click.
"In the last episode of Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo…"
"I just don't get this show." Raven said.
"I think that's the point." Stated Beast Boy, suddenly appearing next to her on the coach.
Raven turned to her teammate. "Look, Beast Boy," she said, "I know you like me, but I'm not sure about spontaneously being in a relationship with someone who considered me just a friend until this morning. What I'm trying to say is, let's take this slow, okay?"
Beast Boy thought about it. "Take it slow? Okay, I can do that." He took a ring out of his pocket. "Will… You… Marry… Me…?"
Raven's flight was faster than sound, so it took a second or two for her screams to reach Beast Boy's ears.
424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242
"Let's see…" Cyborg said as he stared at the menu. "Do I want the triple-decker mondo-burger with a large shake and fries… Or do I want the triple-decker-mondo-burger with a large shake and onion rings?"
"There are people in line behind you, sir," said the Mega Burger cashier with the voice of one who is dead inside and poorly paid outside.
"We're starving!" exclaimed a random man. "I was eligible for a Kiddy Meal when I got in line!"
"I guess I'll have the…" Cyborg was cut off by a shadow suddenly flying towards him at mach four and ghosting him through the wall.
"Huzzah!" exclaimed the people in line.
424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242
The shadow, with Cyborg in tow, flew across the bay and into the Titan's Tower. It phased through the doors, and zoomed into the basement. There it set Cyborg down, turned into a very terrified looking Raven, and started to nail the basement door shut.
"What's going on?" asked the baffled bionic boy.
"There's something terribly wrong with Beast Boy!" Raven said in a frightened whisper.
"Yeah, I expected that," said Cyborg, "That's why I left the tower."
Raven turned around slowly. Her eyes were blazing with a white-hot fury, like they do every other day. "What do you know about this?" She asked in the most intimidating way possible.
"Oh, he's just under the affects of this chemical-thingy Speedy sent us." Explained Cyborg.
"THEN CALL SPEEDY!" Raven cried. "CALL HIM! HE MAKE BETTER! HE MAKE BETTER OR I BREAK HIS SKULL!" The stress was eroding at her grammar skills.
"Okay, okay, I'll call him!" Cyborg hurriedly replied. He took out his communicator. "Drama queen." He added under his breath.
424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242
Meanwhile, at the headquarters of Teen Titans: East, exciting things were happening!
"I can't believe you got fish tacos again!" moaned Aqualad.
Okay, so I lied.
"Relax, will ya?" Speedy replied, taking another bite. "The odds of this being anyone you know are… Ack! Hack! Hawk!" Speedy began to choke. As he beat his chest, the object that had clogged his esophagus went skidding across the table.
Aqualad picked it up in his trembling fingers. It was small, flat and orange.
"THE LUCKY FIN!" He screamed. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Suddenly, Speedy's communicator rang. He flipped it open. "Yello?" he said.
"Hey, Speedy, this is Cyborg." said Cyborg. "I need to know… When should that love-potion-thingy wear off?"
"I should wear off after about an hour." Speedy replied. "Love to talk more, but I gotta go. I think Aqualad's trying to commit suicide." He clicked the communicator shut.
424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242
One hour later, at Titan's Tower…
"Sorry about that, Rae." Beast Boy apologized, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.
"Don't worry about it." Raven replied, waving her hand dismissively. "It was nothing a few years of intense psychological therapy can't clear up. I'm just a little peeved that you two brought those arrows into the tower in the first place."
"Well, it was for a good cause!" Cyborg said defensively. "We were going to get Robin and Star together!"
"I have glorious news, friends!" exclaimed Starfire, walking in the door that very minute, "Robin and I are now boyfriend and girlfriend! Ether that or Robin wants to ride a penguin to the moon. I think he suffered a concussion when I accepted his invitation of walking."
424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242
"AND SO," croaked the anthropomorphic crow lounging in his armchair, "VALENTINE'S DAY HAD A HAPPY ENDING AFTER ALL. BUT WHAT OF AQUALAD'S ATTEMPTED SUICIDE? AND DOES ROBIN REALLY WANT TO DATE STARFIRE? I DON'T REALLY CARE."
"THE," it half-screamed, "END!"
424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242424242
A/N: Uh… Ta da!