Author's note: This is my first ever fan fic and I have been inspired by some of the great stuff I read here to give it my own try. I am late to the CSI bandwagon, but the S5 finale blew me away. I used to just watch the episode if it looked like Nick might get more than two lines… but have since caught the reruns on Spike, and thanks to my DVR I am caught up to mid season three. Nick is obviously my favorite, and I especially like the weird relationship he has with Grissom. ( note Slash tends to make me "squicky", to borrow a term, so any slash you read into it is all in your head, you dirty bird! J )

Spoilers: episodes thru mid season 3 if you haven't seen them ! Pretty much after Assume Nothing.

Disclaimers: looks like from seeing the others, I have to advise y'all that I do not own a single teeny bit of the show, but if I did, it would be all Nick, all the time!

The phone rang and rang. The lab was busy, as usual, and the receptionist, Judy, was trying to step away from her desk, saying she had to use the Ladies' room. Actually, she was trying to get away from Hodges, who seemed to loiter around her desk quite a bit more than comfortable. He always sounded so pompous, and the things he would say to try to impress her always left her wanting to stifle a giggle, or stifle a gag. This time he was trying to wow her with his impressive knowledge of the chemical makeup of edible underwear and the gag part was what was coming up, so to speak. She asked him to make sure to answer the phone, "Las Vegas Crime Lab", and pointed to a list of extensions posted above the phone. He smugly advised her that he was more than up to the challenge of answering a phone, thank you. So off she scampered to the bathroom, running to scrub away the memory of Hodges and his leering looks while he described exactly which chemical compound made the cherry flavoring.

The phone rang and Hodges looked at the multitude of buttons. "Can't be that hard," he figured., and punched the one that was flashing. "Las Vegas Crime Lab," he said, but what his voice said was "You are taking up my valuable time, what do you want?"

"This is Sheriff Green, up in Humboldt County. We got ourselves a little mess we sure could use your folks' help on. Think you could send some of your people up here?"

"Humboldt County?" Hodges said, voice dripping with contempt. "All there is up there is rocks and alkaline lakes, and maybe the occasional bear. What do you need the Crime Lab for?"

"Well if you'll pardon me, sir, we may not have much more than you described, but what we do have is a couple of dead bodies."

"Meth lab shootout?" Hodges asked, dryly, "or did a bear eat them?"

"Well I guess I need your expertise to tell me that, now don't I, son?"

"Yes, well, I guess I can pass on your request, Sheriff…?"

"Green-that's no 'e' on the end."

"Okay, Sheriff Green, no 'e', I'll get someone right on this. It'll take them a good several hours to get there…" his voice trailed off as though he was hoping the Sheriff might just say never mind- let's call the whole thing off, but the sheriff just answered, "I'm at the Sheldon National Wildlife Refuge substation in Dufurrena, that's about thirty miles west of Denio."

"And a hundred miles from any form of real civilization…" Hodges muttered under his breath.

"What's that son?" the Sheriff asked, though he was pretty sure he heard him quite well.

"Oh, nothing. Just trying to plot your location for our 'folks'. I'm sure someone will be up to see you within the next several hours."

"I'll be waiting," the Sheriff replied, but he figured he was probably wasting the county's long distance on this.