Homer's too dead to sue me, and I don't think anyone else cares that much.

The original concept changed a little in the execution, but it was fun. Roughly 300 words of utter fluffiness for your reading pleasure:

Troy Story

Last night's movie had inspired this morning's playtime.

"Who's gonna be Achilles?" Brooke wanted to know.

"Ken. He's got nice abs and a tan--it's not like you see anything, anyway."

They giggled. Even Jordan's mom had watched those scenes with interest.

"What about Hector?"

Jordan ran down the hall to Skyler's room, coming back with a bin full of action figures. "Riddick!"

"He's bald!" Brooke objected.

"Yeah, but he's buff."

Brooke compared them. "There's no way Ken could kick his butt. I think we're gonna have to change the ending."

"He's got the perfect Paris!" Jordan dug a little deeper. "Will Turner!"

"This isn't Troy, it's Pirates of the Aegean!"

"Funny." Jordan found a loose dryer sheet in the bottom of her laundry basket, wrapping it around the offending figure. "Here, now he's got a toga. Happy?"

"I guess. Which Barbie should be Helen?"

"Which one has the best hair?"

"Good point." Brooke selected one of the shapely dolls. "We need somebody for that blonde guy...Boromir! Anybody from Rings in there?"

"No, but he's got Obi-Wan." Jordan rummaged some more.

"Ewan McGregor or the old guy?"

"Er, maybe not," Jordan said, looking at the mangled action figure. "I think Skyler's been pretending his Boy Scout knife is a light saber. What about Jack Sparrow?"

"But he and Will would be enemies," protested Brooke.

"If we can change the ending enough that Hector kicks butt on Achilles, Jack and Will can be on different sides for once." Jordan said briskly.

"Oh, okay," her friend surrendered. "And he can ask Achilles if he's a eunuch."

"That works," Jordan agreed.

They began setting the bedroom stage for the siege of Troy, which would culminate with a sneak attack by the Trojan My Little Pony.