Author's Note: My triumphant return in this little tiny fic! I hope I haven't kept anyone waiting. You know… the whole college thing got in the way. But alas, here I am, ready to finish what I've started… but first this little bit about the thoughts in Wolvie's head.
Little Girl BluesShit. What the flamin' hell does she think she's doing parading around in that sorry excuse of a skirt with all them boys around? Christ, they're all lookin' at her. Ever since those boys moved up to this team, they been pinin' after Jubes. I can smell their hormones raging at the mere sight of those little legs of hers. She always liked skirts, but never skirts that short. Just the other day I mustered enough courage to go shoppin' with the kid to try an' sway her to buy a longer skirt. But jeez, it ain't easy arguin' with a nineteen-year-old on what she can and can't wear. Ya'd have better luck facing Apocalypse with one broken arm.
But no, she had to go behind my back and switch from practical shorts to skirts. Hell, Tarzan wore more on his loincloth than those skirts she's been pickin'. What if there's an emergency and she can't run in that flimsy lil' thing? Well, at least she hasn't traded in her 'blades yet, thank God. Her pathetic excuse for wearing that skimpy little thing today? "It's a barbecue, Wolvie! And it's hot outside!"
"Well it ain't too hot to wear pants, kid," I'd half growled at her.
"It's ninety degrees outside!" Granted, it really was ninety degrees out. But did that mean it was ok to wear a skirt? I don't think so. 'Fore I could say anything more though, she'd been distracted by Guthrie's little sister. I had to hold in a growl at the sight of those two walkin' away from me. Both of 'em wearing short skirts – the kind that could compete with Jean. That Guthrie's a bad influence, I tell ya. She was the one wearin' short skirts 'fore Jubes ever knew what one was. Probably mind-wiped her with that Southern innocent charm and forced her to buy skimpier clothes. I never thought I'd hafta worry about the decency thing.
Don't get me wrong, I like my women in skimpy clothing. But that don't mean that Jubes should start doin' it too. Heck, she ain't a woman! She's just a kid… my kid. And ain't no boy gonna be starin' at her the way I gawk at Storm or Jean.
Some years ago, Jub'lee was a regular little tomboy. Wore the makeup and skirts once in a while, but everyone knew she could always hold her own against the boys. She never really cared what folks with Y-chromosomes thought of her then. And what now? She grew her hair out long an' shiny, started wearing makeup every day. And now I catch her eyein' up some men as though they were candy. Makes me shiver.
I tried talkin' to 'Ro about it once.
"She's not a child, Logan," Storm'd said simply to me.
"Yeah, she is," I'd replied gruffly. "She's my child."
And ya know what she had the nerve to say?
"I went through the same thing with Kitty." I'd scoffed at her, but she smiled as though I'd nodded in response and continued, "Logan, what you've got is the little girl blues."
Didn't help much.
See, there was a huge difference between Kitty and Jubes. We all knew that Kitty'd grow up. But we never would've guessed that Jubes would… at least not so fast. Well, I didn't. I wish she woulda stayed little forever.
The old days were sweet. She used ta follow me everywhere. Her milky sweet voice calling, "Where ya goin', Wolvie?" or "Whatcha up to tonight, Wolvster?" "Puh-leaze come to the mall with me!" Yep, I was her hero. And she was my shadow for the longest time. She stole a huge part of my heart. And she's still got it. Not like I'd want it back; I want her to keep it forever. 'Sides, I have a piece of hers.
The days were simpler then too. If she needed something all I had to do was show up and give her a hug, and then everythin' would be all right. The nightmares would subside after a few nights of cryin' her lil' eyes out. Yep, I just showed up on my white horse, flashed a smile, and everything in her world was bright and shiny. Now? Well, now she prefers to conquer her demons on her own. While it breaks m'heart, I gotta let the kid do it. If not, then everythin' I ever taught her woulda been a flamin' lie. And I can't lie to the kid. I guess either way, my heart'll still break somehow.
Never, before I met the damn kid, did I ever think I'd be a father to anybody. And not many people'd say I'm worthy of the job either. But I am, for some God for saken reason, perfect for nobody but Jubes. It's a bitch. I don't regret it, but I wish I could turn back time to watch her grow up all over again. Shit, they weren't kiddin' when they said it was hard lettin' go. I ain't ready.
There she goes, sittin' by the pool, catching looks from all them boys again. What in the hell makes them think they're worthy enough to be eyein' up my Jubilee? I growl in the direction of a nearby group of boys. They seem to get the message and walk away swiftly, and without stealing a last look at Jubes… much to my satisfaction.
Those beautiful little eyes. I swear, with those bright blue eyes, she coulda been my daughter by blood. Funny how things work out that way, huh? She sees me watchin' her. I smile at her. She's the only one who seems to witness my smiles lately. Good ol' Jubes. She returns a smile at full force and bounces up off her lawn chair over to me. I can't help but be happy at the sight.
"Hey," she giggles slightly at my smile. "What's going on? Why're you over here by yourself? There's a barbecue!" She grabs at my hand and tugs me towards the grill without my consent, where Scott's wearin' his 'Barbecue or bust' apron again. Pansy.
"Eat!" she demands. I grunt and peer at her through squinted eyes as though my authority's been under minded. She just shrugs it off with another laugh and declares, "It's meat, Wolvie. You like meat."
Scott and I chuckle at her. I try to hide a smile as she walks off to join Bobby an' Jean under the shade. Scott throws me a crooked smile. He's rarer at smilin' than I am these days.
"She's growing up beautifully, Logan," he tells me.
"Yeah," I mutter as he throws a pork chop on my paper plate. "Too beautifully."
"You should be proud," One-Eye says sincerely.
"Yeah," I say as I look him directly in the eye. "I am."
I walk away with my pork chop and sit next to 'Ro and Sam (older brother of the manipulative Guthrie) at the patio table, reflecting on Cyke's words. Best thing about that man is that he tells it how it is, no bullshit. A little uptight sometimes, but for the best intentions. But he's right. I should be proud of Jubilee. And I am. I smile to myself at the thought. I steal a glance over at Jubes who's laughin' her lil' head off with Bobby.
But bein' proud of her don't mean it's okay for boys to be lookin' at her.
Yeah, maybe 'Ro's right. I think I do have the little girl blues. Shit, Jubes, would ya just stop growin' up for a while?
She catches me starin' sadly at her. She cocks her lil' head at me and gives me a smile an' a wave. I return the gesture by tippin' my worn hat at her. She giggles.
I turn away reluctantly as Sam asks me a question. I nod at him. By the time I turn back, her attention is back on Bobby and Jean. I sigh wistfully. What a kid… I think tonight I'll hit Harry's and invite her along for a kiddie cocktail and a round of pool. Which reminds me, I think I'll go crazy once she hits twenty-one… damn, I have a feeling she'll like alcohol more than I do.
Maybe in a couple weeks she'd like to keep me company for a road trip. That'll give Cyke another ulcer or two. Though I think he might approve this time. What a weirdo. Can never tell what he wants an' when he wants it.
But yeah, a road trip would be pretty nice. How long has it been since I had Jubes on the back of my 'cycle? Or how long it's been since I've had to try an' sneak outta a cabin without wakin' her up? And how long has it been since she's thrown a fit at me fer tryin' to sneak out? At least if I take her to the woods, she'd wise up a lil' and wear some pants. There ain't no boys out there for her to show her legs off to. That's exactly what goal of this trip should be: make her wear some damn pants.
I lean back in my chair at the thought and Stormy throws me a wondering glance. I just smile and say, "Little girl blues." She nods at me understandingly and turns back to Sam.
Satisfied with my intentions, I peer out at Jubes from under my worn old hat, considerin' whether or not I should go join her to deflect all them looks little boys give. Ah, shit, there goes Remy flirtin' after her again. I better put him in his place 'fore she starts noticin' him too.
fin-