Disclaimer: I don't own the Star Trek universe or any of its inhabitants. If I did, you could be sure that the word "continuity" would be in the writers' vocabulary. As it is, I'm throwing that out the window for this story, which is a post-Delta Quadrant story from the other side of the realm of possibility. This is a femslash fic, so if that offends you, please don't read any further.
Genre: Angst, Romance
Rating: R
Code: B/7
feedback: Is more than just a little appreciated. It's what my muse lives on.
Betrayal
"There was a moment once, long ago, that I could have told you exactly what would happen now." Tom looked at B'Elanna, waiting for her to continue. But she didn't. She stood, shaking. He wanted to go to her, even now. To comfort her. But it wasn't his right. His chest ached with the need to care for his ex-wife. She had just cleared the last of her things from their quarters.
The Starfleet officer standing in their--no, his--doorway stared blankly away, giving them these few moments to say good-bye. For a moment, he felt cold at the gratitude that their child had died before this had happened, so she didn't have to see it. So they didn't have to work out that one last detail. Then his heart slammed into his chest like a sledgehammer and he blinked against the burning behind his eyes. It vanished, but the pain did not.
As B'Elanna walked to her armed escort, she glanced back, her eyes shiny with unshed tears, then looked away. He blinked against her beauty, trying to forget how soft that caramel skin felt beneath his lips, his fingers, his skin. How his fingers tingled from her rough hair when he slid them through it. He would never feel those things again. But he couldn't look away. This would be the last time he would ever see her.
Her back was turned to him as the officer grabbed her upper arm, gently. She glanced over her shoulder, her eyes turned down, almost appearing closed. He adored her profile and drank it like water. It was all he could do to keep from running to touch those soft lips as they parted.
"This is what I would have said. But had you asked, just a week ago..." A tear slid down her cheek. "So much for family. So much for Voyager." He choked on her bitterness and had to agree. The lying bastards had let them believe the Maquis would be pardoned. Instead, they were being arrested. He felt sick at the injustice. Especially since he was pardoned. His father's doing, he was certain. He hated himself at that moment more than any other. He lost everything in his life that had mattered, just as everything that didn't, was given back to him. He would rather have had B'Elanna, his wife, and their child that hadn't lived, in prison forever, then his freedom without her for a day.
But she had left him.
Seven of Nine, Tertiary adjunct to Unimatrix Zero One sat in on the hearing with a colder heart than any on Voyager had ever accused her of harboring. She had to remain cold, or the fire that burned in her stomach would erupt and she might do something she would regret. She glanced at her Captain, swallowing against the hatred that was trying to spin her mind. She focused on logic as Kathryn Janeway, disheveled and defeated, threatened her resignation at the Admiral before her.
"I'm sorry you feel that way, Kathryn. We were considering you for the Admiralty. But if you cannot relieve yourself of this foolish quest to acquit criminals of their justified punishment--"
"They are NOT criminals, Admiral. They served as finely as any Starfleet officers. They have suffered enough--"
"Suffering? You have treated criminals as OFFICERS, Captain. We do not consider that 'suffering' or, more importantly, serving sentence."
"I'm not saying they have served a sentence. I am saying they are NOT criminals. They have proven that time and time again."
"It is in your best interest, Kathryn, not to push this issue. The judgment of--"
"Your judgment is flawed." Everyone turned when they heard Seven's voice.
"Miss Hanson, you have not been called on to speak." Seven's cold melted under the fire that spread through her, a fire of rage. She stood, shaking with her fury. Kathryn's eyes pleaded with her not to act foolishly. But Seven wanted to be foolish. She wanted to injure the Admiral. But instead, she turned and walked from the room, turning her back on Starfleet. "Miss Hanson, you are not excused!"
"My name is Seven of Nine. Annika Hanson died a long time ago, Admiral. It is a pity you did not." There was a collective murmur of outrage in reaction to her comment, but Seven didn't look back once on her way out.
The explosion sent Seven careening into the wall. She coughed the dust out of her mouth and pushed forward, past the debris of the guardroom. She glanced down and confirmed that the guards were still alive, only unconscious and then nodded. Tom disarmed them as she took out the door controls. The force fields in the building went down under the manipulations of her fingers against the control panel. There were shouts, confusion, more guards, and a lot of fighting.
Seven took a phaser blast to the side of her head and cried out as she hit the ground. She sat up, her hand going to the wound and coming away with blood. She shook her head until her vision cleared, then fired on the guards. The ex-Maquis surged towards the door, giving her grateful looks. Seven saw B'Elanna backed into a corner, fighting hand to hand with two guards. One hit her in the face with the butt of his phaser rifle.
B'Elanna spit blood and curses at the guard, her head aching and her vision swimming. She was glad for her redundant stomachs, knowing that a full human would have retched under the circumstances and struck out at her attacker. One went down, but the other swung his rifle at her again. She braced for impact, but a pale hand suddenly appeared around the weapon and ripped it from its owner's grasp. B'Elanna was suddenly staring at Seven of Nine, shocked and grateful. The first thing she noticed was that Seven had cut her hair short, higher than her shoulders. She wondered at the regret it made her feel. It had been over a year since she had seen the borg woman.
B'Elanna grabbed Seven's shoulder and pulled her down as her peripheral vision caught the blast of phaserfire a moment before it would have connected with her skull. Seven smiled up at her and pulled her across the debris and bodies, staying low to the ground. B'Elanna stopped and almost fell over at the sight of Tom. Far from Seven, his hair had grown long and unruly, flying about his head as he fought. B'Elanna felt her hearts race to see him thus, but she wasn't moved beyond that. She truly didn't love him anymore, but he had definitely become more attractive since she had last seen him. The almost-balding, boyish pilot was gone and this stone-faced man had filled in the body she had once known so well.
Starfleet had obviously disagreed with him greatly. B'Elanna turned her attention back to Seven as she leaned over an injured comrade and helped him to his feet. He blinked in surprise at her, and then nodded his gratitude with a tight-lipped smile. Seven stood and B'Elanna realized she wasn't wearing a biosuit. The black jumpsuit she wore resembled a Starfleet rescue uniform, but was designed for someone with broader shoulders and a smaller chest, so it fit her badly, instead of hugging her curves like a true Starfleet-issue would have. Still, B'Elanna was fascinated with the pull of the material against Seven's chest, the yellow of what hair she had left glowing like a beacon in the filthy air.
Due to the solitary confinement she had been put in after her third breakout attempt, she hadn't seen another person in five months. Seven looked like an angel in her ill-fitting black garb and hacked off hair. B'Elanna wanted to kiss her from the joy of being free. She could taste freedom like the clean air following a rainstorm. And Seven looked like the first glimpse of sun from behind the clouds.
"Move, B'Elanna!" Tom shouted in her ear. She started, not realizing that the fighting had finally ended, that they were moving out to what was probably a pre-arranged beam out point. She hustled with the others, her ears finally taking in the klaxon that would bring hell raining down on their parade if they didn't hurry.
"There's still blood in your hair," Seven said, touching B'Elanna's dark locks, trying to separate them, knowing a shower could be days away. B'Elanna's hair was long and overgrown. Apparently, solitary confinement meant no hair cutting appointments. But it gave her a wildness that Seven admired. It was a truth, a testament to the half-Klingon's personality. Allowed to go its own way, it curled madly in a frothy mess that definitely needed taming.
"Yeah, and I've got the bruise of the year." B'Elanna grunted as she touched the swollen flesh. They had limited supplies on this junk heap of a ship. They had crowded in fifty ex-Maquis into a space not meant for ten. B'Elanna and Chakotay were huddled into the pilot's section with Tom and Seven, uncomfortably jammed behind the seats the rescuers occupied. Seven was on her knees, turned around and trying to do what she could medically, but an almost-dead dermal regenerator wasn't going to do much good on the deep gash that had concussed the ex-convict. Still, she waved it over the wound until it died. At least the edges had sealed themselves now. The bleeding had finally stopped. "So what happens now?"
"We head for the Gamma Quadrant. There's so much political upheaval happening there, Starfleet won't be able to track you down," Tom answered. B'Elanna remained quiet for a long time while Seven did what she could for Chakotay without proper medical supplies.
"You look good, Tom," B'Elanna admitted. "And I'm the one who looks like hell." Tom turned a little and grinned at her.
"Freedom agrees with me," he admitted.
"What happened to everyone else?" Chakotay asked.
"Well," Tom answered, "Harry is serving as a lieutenant now, on the Enterprise. Tuvok retired, Janeway quit, Starfleet tried to reassign the Doctor with all the other EMH mark ones, but we got him out of there--or his mobile emitter, at least--and he's working for us now."
"Who is 'us'?" B'Elanna asked.
"We, uh, don't have a name. In fact, we were pretty much formed just to get you guys out of there. We called ourselves 'Project Redemption' and I guess I have no idea who we are now."
"It is irrelevant," Seven said, sounding tired. "Once we reach the Gamma Quadrant, we will all go our separate ways." B'Elanna glanced over at her and frowned. Seven's eyes were closed and she was rubbing her forehead, probably trying to push back an ache.
"Back to always being on the run, huh?" B'Elanna murmured. It had been so long... eight years since she had lived her life in hiding. But she didn't deserve prison and she wouldn't go back. Ever.
"No, thanks," B'Elanna told the Ordalite, a small, navy-skinned Gamma Quadrant native working as a waitress in the grubby bar. The Ordalite nodded her porcine nose and left the two fugitives alone. No one asked questions here, unless it was 'what'll it be?'
Seven sipped her lezd juice, barely noticing the taste. B'Elanna watched the berry juice stain Seven's lips, ever so slightly, a mauve color. A few minutes later, the Doctor came over to their table and sat down.
"The Starfleet patrols in this area aren't due for another week, so we should be safe until then."
"How could we have been so wrong?" B'Elanna blurted. "If we had just stayed in the Delta Quadrant... Those bastards," B'Elanna cursed. She took Seven's lezd juice and drained it. Seven just stared blankly at her as she did. "Seven, come on, snap out of it," B'Elanna said, waving her hand in front of the inebriated ex-drone's eyes. Seven didn't respond. B'Elanna sighed and reached out, brushing the hair out of Seven's face. Seven finally focused on her.
"B'Elanna Torres," she whispered. "Your hair is long." B'Elanna laughed.
"Yeah, and your hair is short. What's your point?"
"You need a hairbrush."
"Screw you, too," B'Elanna rejoined, smiling. Seven blinked slowly, then wrinkled her brow in confusion.
"I did not screw you," she responded, obviously confused. B'Elanna patted her on the back.
"Don't worry about it. Besides, if you had, with that much lezd juice in you, how would you remember? You really need to lay off."
"It is not healthy to drink as much as you have," the doctor added, concern evident in his voice.
"B'El-la-la nanana," Seven said, obviously getting lost in what she was trying to say when she tripped over B'Elanna's name, then drew it out. "B'Elanna took my juice," she finally managed.
"And B'Elanna says you're not having any more," the half-human responded. Seven frowned.
"I will comply," she said after a lengthy pause. She leaned over onto B'Elanna's shoulder and closed her eyes. B'Elanna ran her fingers through the short hair, smoothing it back as her friend fell asleep. How they had become friends was no mystery--spending so much time running, fighting and hiding together was the fastest way to either create or destroy friendships known to sentient beings.
B'Elanna knew Seven would regret indulging tonight, but it really had been their first chance to relax in almost a month. Seven had just ordered 'something to forget' and lezd juice happened to be the preferred drink for that. It had been rough, they'd nearly been caught more times than they bothered to count and at one point, they were shot at by the Jem'Hadar when hitching a ride on a freighter carrying a covert shipment of Ketrecel White. The ship had limped off into a meteor field after jettisoning the cargo and they were almost destroyed again when a large chunk plowed through their already weak hull.
They were tired, battered, sore and ready for a rest. They just had three more months of traveling and they'd reach a safe zone where Starfleet couldn't follow and they could start over. But three months could easily become a year with the delays they'd experienced so far.
"Your room is ready," a raspy voice spoke up from behind the Doctor. B'Elanna nodded to the Ordalite waitress and stood up, pulling Seven with her. The ex-borg nearly fell to the floor, but the Doctor grabbed her from one side while B'Elanna took the other and they hauled her to the dingy little two-bed room. They dropped her on one bed and B'Elanna turned to the Doctor.
"Good night," she said.
"See you in the morning," he replied before she shut him down. She slid his mobile emitter into the pocket of her jacket and lay down, trying to ignore the stains on the bed. It wasn't even an anti-grav bed and she could feel every lump in the mattress. It was more comfortable than the shuttle floor she'd spent the last two nights on, so she fell asleep rather quickly.
Seven awoke with a groan, her hand going automatically to her head. She opened her eyes and glared at the ceiling, as though it was responsible for her current state. She rolled off the small bed and rushed to the restroom. After using the less than satisfactory facilities, she turned on the shower and washed the two-week stench off herself. Glaring at the dirty clothes, she walked out of the bathroom naked and dropped them on the bed, then sat on them (deciding they were most likely still cleaner than the bed) and glared at the wall, rubbing her temples.
She couldn't remember the day before and she sighed, happy the lezd juice had done its job. A few days were gone from her eidetic memory and she lay back on the bed, relieved.
"That's a dignified position," B'Elanna teased sarcastically from the next bed over. Seven rolled her head and looked over at her friend. B'Elanna sat up and stretched. "Water or sonic?"
"Sonic," Seven answered. B'Elanna smiled.
"Well, at least it's not completely lacking."
"It's a loud shower. I'm surprised it didn't wake you," Seven said, then resumed staring at the ceiling, not rectifying her 'undignified position.' She was rewarded by having B'Elanna's dirty shirt thrown across her abdomen. Seven didn't bother moving, although she did flinch and cover her ears when she heard the shower come on. A throb took up residence behind her ears and she pressed in on her head, hard. It didn't help.
"We should lay low here for today," B'Elanna said, coming back in the room. She plopped down on her own bed in a very similar position as Seven, having retrieved her shirt to lie on.
"I do not believe we could lay much lower," Seven responded. "We should leave the doctor off for today. The less energy he expends, the better. This place is dangerous. Should his mobile emitter be damaged, we would be unable to repair him with our current resources."
"Yeah. He'll be pissed off, you know how much he hates being left out," B'Elanna said, touching her jacket, which was under her head, being used as a pillow.
"Do you ever regret this?" Seven asked.
"Shouldn't I be asking you that? After all, you had a life back in the Federation. I was a prisoner, serving a twenty-year sentence."
"At least you had food and shelter guaranteed," Seven said softly. B'Elanna snorted.
"Who wants that? I mean, it would be nice, but not for that price," B'Elanna answered. Seven laughed lightly.
"That rhymed," she noted. B'Elanna turned her head and smiled at Seven, who met her gaze and smiled back. Time went by slowly and by the afternoon, they were starving. It was Seven who suggested they go for food, so they put back on their clothing and found a restaurant that was relatively inexpensive. Seven ordered water and soup, hoping her hangover would go away if she re-hydrated quickly.
Lunch was exactly what they needed, as it helped them relax for the first time in nearly a month. When B'Elanna laughed at something Seven said, the ex-drone realized that she hadn't heard the sound in far too long. She quickly began relating stories that she knew to be humorous once safely away from the situations, trying to get B'Elanna to laugh. Every time she succeeded, it brought a smile to her own face.
B'Elanna noticed that Seven had been smiling almost nonstop since they began eating and her spirits soared. For an hour, she forgot that they were fugitives and just enjoyed the company of the woman she had never realized would become her best friend. She barely tasted that her sandwich was burnt, her water stale. The music the restaurant played was odd and haunting, hard and beautiful at the same time. She hadn't heard anything like it in the Alpha Quadrant and for a while, she was lost in an almost magical feel of floating happiness.
Seven touched B'Elanna's hand accidentally as they both reached for a sauce they agreed was pleasing. She drew a sharp breath at the jolt that went through her at the contact. She saw B'Elanna's pupils dilate and heard her hearts speed up. She wondered if B'Elanna had experienced the same reaction as she. For a moment, she stared out into the void of space, noticing a bluish hued dust storm being bisected by a flaming comet. She noted that it was aesthetically pleasing and the last of the tension in her drained away. Her view really was quite remarkable: B'Elanna sitting in front of a large window, displaying the beauty of space.
B'Elanna, on the other hand, had become tense. Her physical reaction to Seven was a complete surprise to her. She was very aware of what she had felt. The last person who had made her feel like that had broken her heart terribly. She had never expected to react to a woman like that and she was now very uncomfortable. She liked her friendship with Seven and didn't want it ruined by inappropriate sexual attraction.
Seven was oblivious to the internal struggle B'Elanna was suffering. She just found herself enjoying the afternoon more and more. No one had ever spent this much time with her on Voyager. She had been alone forty percent of the time. To her, that was an eternity. Since she had helped arrange the escape of the Maquis, Seven had spent exactly ten hours alone, and that was the sum of the time she had spent in bathrooms.
B'Elanna didn't dwell on what had happened, although she did avoid touching Seven again.
Seven didn't understand why B'Elanna had changed her behavior so suddenly. Once, she had been fine being naked around Seven, now she always changed in another room. Before when they could only get one bed in a room, they would share it, but now
B'Elanna would take the floor.
Seven tried to figure out what she had done wrong to distance B'Elanna, but could find no errors in her social interactions in her memory. She wondered if it was one of the memories she had blocked out with her drinking. Disturbed by the thought, she ceased drinking away her memories.
She tried to get closer to B'Elanna, but every time she would make an attempt, B'Elanna would abrogate her. They had few moments like the one at the restaurant for her to endeavor to change the nature of their relationship. They had actually been stopped by two Starfleet patrols. The first they had hid from, but the second caused the ship they were on to run, due to the very illegal cargo they were carrying.
Five months later, they were looking at a small, but peaceful colony planet in a binary system as their new home. It was home to so many different races they blended in without a problem. They were very happy to have the addition of a new doctor, as their colony didn't have many. Engineers were always useful and B'Elanna had a job within a week. Seven took odd jobs mostly, not really preferring any one to another.
After a month, Seven finally decided she had to clear her mind to B'Elanna about her feelings. Even if they were not reciprocated, which she was certain they weren't, she would feel better having it out in the open. It had taken her three months to realize that the nature of her feelings were romantic.
Finally, she found the right time, as they were finishing dinner one evening. The doctor was out on a house call and it was just the two of them. "B'Elanna," Seven began.
"Yeah?" B'Elanna asked, leaning back in her chair, satisfied from dinner.
"I wish to discuss our relationship," she continued.
"What about it?" B'Elanna asked, sitting forward again and looking uncomfortable. Seven almost stopped and dismissed herself, but she realized that would be cowardly. So she moved on.
"I believe that I am... enamored of you."
"Um, thanks. I like you, too," B'Elanna said. "Have you been drinking?"
"No, B'Ella. I have not engaged in that behavior since the lezd juice. I have been concerned that I did something that I don't remember to make you uncomfortable with me."
"You didn't. I'm not uncomfortable," B'Elanna lied.
"Then why have you been behaving as though I am a member of the opposite gender?"
"Huh?"
"You used to dress in front of me, share my bed and on three occasions, a shower stall. But you have not done any of those things, though it would have been more convenient several times, in six months." Seven stared at her plate unhappily.
"Have I been doing that?" B'Elanna asked. She mentally cursed herself. She had betrayed her feelings and now she was doing it again. She was going to lie to Seven. It had become so natural that she didn't know how to tell the truth anymore.
"B'Elanna Torres, you are being deliberately evasive. I care for you, on a romantic level as well as in friendship. I am asking if you feel the same." Seven chewed on her bottom lip, frustrated.
"No, Seven," B'Elanna sighed. "I can't care for you like that." With that, she stood and walked quickly to her bedroom. She was a coward, but she couldn't take a chance like she had before. She wouldn't ruin another friendship like she had with Tom. She swallowed the hate, betrayal and lies, swallowed it whole and shoved it deep down inside.
Seven stared at the dinner plates, her mind repeating B'Elanna's dismissal over and over. She was still sitting there when the Doctor came in. She ignored him when he asked her to deactivate him and he huffed off, looking for B'Elanna. Seven finally got up, but she didn't go to her room. She walked to the nearest shop to look for something to make her forget...
B'Elanna noticed right away when Seven started drinking again. But she didn't say anything. At first, it was only at night and sometimes she would hear Seven crying in the next room. She would bury her head under a pillow and curse her prodigious hearing. Sometimes, she cried with her. She didn't want Seven to hurt, but she didn't want to hurt, either. She figured that Seven would eventually get over it, or push it away like she had.
After a few weeks of it, though, B'Elanna couldn't take it anymore. Seven had begun spending entire days too drunk to do anything. B'Elanna had found her once where she had fallen and hit her head and no one had known how long she had been there. That was when B'Elanna realized she had to stop this.
"Seven, this is a lousy way to get my attention," B'Elanna blurted as she took the bottle away from Seven. Seven, for her part, stared at B'Elanna in shock. B'Elanna
tossed the alcohol at the trash, wincing when she missed and it hit the floor. She was just grateful it didn't break and left it to drain onto the floor. Seven stared at it, watching it pour out and said nothing.
B'Elanna sat down at the table and glared at Seven, who didn't respond. They were sitting like that when the Doctor came home. He took one look at them, turned around and walked back out and away. Neither woman knew how long they sat like that, just staring. But it was Seven who finally broke the silence.
"Why do you care?" Seven asked, getting angry.
"Because you're my best friend," B'Elanna said. Seven finally met her brown eyes with her own bloodshot blue pair.
"Even though I feel differently for you than you do for me?" Seven asked.
"No," B'Elanna said, and then took a deep breath. "Although even if I didn't share your feelings, you'd still be my best friend."
"Excuse me?" Seven said, not sure she understood what B'Elanna had just said. Did she mean...?
"You heard me. I'm a liar, okay? I have feelings for you, too. It's just..." B'Elanna trailed off.
"Why did you lie to me?" Seven asked, upset. B'Elanna started to answer, but Seven interrupted. "How could you?" Seven stood up. "Friends don't lie to each other."
"You don't understand, I--"
"I don't care," Seven spat. "You can go to hell." With that, Seven turned and ran to her bedroom, locking the door behind her. B'Elanna just sat in shock. She hadn't expected Seven to react so violently. She didn't know what she expected, but she supposed she deserved what Seven had just said.
It was still hard to hear.
A week later, B'Elanna came home to find Seven's things in a box in front of the door and Seven herself was coming out of her bedroom with a duffel full of clothes. B'Elanna was so surprised, she nearly dropped the bag she was carrying. Instead, she took it to the kitchen table and dropped it off, then stalked back into the front room.
"What's going on?"
"I am moving out. I have found my own place. I can no longer live here."
"What? Why?"
"You betrayed me, B'Elanna," Seven said. B'Elanna felt like she had been slapped. She took a step back, blinking. "You just watched me, suffering, while you had the key to end it and you never did anything."
"I couldn't," B'Elanna protested.
"You couldn't?" Seven repeated, mocking. B'Elanna started to get angry.
"What the hell do you know?" B'Elanna snapped. "Just go, then. Go live alone, drink yourself to death, see if I care."
"Good-bye," Seven said. B'Elanna bit her lip, and then hit the wall with enough force that she knocked off the few holos that were hung there. She leaned against the wall, then slid down and buried her head against her knees.
"I am such a fucking idiot," she whispered to herself. She heard the door close and grabbed a fistful of her hair, pulling until it hurt. It didn't help.
What helped was when Seven's hands wrapped gently around hers and pulled her fingers back. When Seven's lips found hers. B'Elanna gave into everything she had been fighting for the past seven months. She grabbed Seven by the back of her neck and kissed her passionately. Seven fell to her knees and wrapped her arms around B'Elanna's shoulders.
The finally broke the kiss, breathing heavily and looking away from each other. Neither spoke for a few moments, both were afraid to ruin this moment. Both were afraid nothing would change.
"Why didn't we do that a long time ago and save ourselves a lot of hassle?" B'Elanna whispered.
"Because you were being a 'fucking idiot'," Seven responded, earning a glare, then a smile from B'Elanna.
"Do me a favor, Seven."
"What?"
"Don't ever let me be so stupid again."
"Only if you promise not to lie to me again."
"It's a deal," B'Elanna agreed. "No more betrayals. Let's have a real new start. Leave the past behind completely."
"Yes. Let us look to the future."
"Our future," B'Elanna agreed. Finally they let go of the past, the pain and started their new life.
Epilogue
Five years after the Maquis breakout, a new Federation President was elected and one of his first duties was to pardon all the Maquis who had served on Voyager and offer amnesty to any who wished to return home. B'Elanna and Seven did not return to the Alpha Quadrant, although they did regain contact with their friends there and renew old friendships. They got married two years before the pardon and lived a happy, quiet life on the world they had chosen in their years as a fugitive.
+The End+