STRANGE LOVE
DEDICATED TO VIKKI
Who introduced me to the love that is ZADR
I have heard that Irkens cannot feel love and that they do not need sleep however I'm not sure if Jhonen Vasquez himself did say this or if they are just theories people have come up with. Anyway, in the light of uncertainty and the freedom to use my imagination even if I am wrong, here are my theories:
I believe Irkens can feel love, as proven by Zim's cry of: "I love you cold unfeeling robot arm!" in 'Parent Teacher Night' and how he knows what affection is (even though he seems disgusted by the very idea!) in 'Tak: The Hideous New Girl' I believe that they pretend love doesn't exist because love can cause complications that a race of galaxy conquerors could probably rather do without.
Human love is probably different to Irken love; they may have different ways of showing affection and of expressing their feelings. I believe that this is why Zim wanted to study his "relationship" with Tak, to observe how humans handle love.
Although Irkens may not need sleep they can probably doze or nap since in the episode where Zim and GIR get lost in the city, Zim stares at the sun and then seems to take a nap whilst waiting for his eyes to heal.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this fic. Alas, 'tis a pity.
CHAPTER 1- STRANGE LOVE
"Alright, Zim! This is it! The final battle! Just you and me…" Dib glared at the Irken Invader and tensed his body, ready to attack. This was it, the moment he had longed for for so long; the chance to expose Zim for what he really was! They had reached a mutual agreement. A fight. A simple bare-fisted fight between the alien and the human and the winner would name their prize. Dib wanted to expose Zim, Zim wanted to have Dib locked up in a mental asylum. Or dead. Either would do really. The arena was an old railway that hadn't been used for years so that Zim could fight without disguise. Dib's eyes narrowed at the alien. What is he thinking? He wondered. What diabolical plan is forming in his evil alien mind?
Zim stared at Dib. What a big head that human has, he thought. I mean, really big. It's not even huge, it's gigantic! The Irken invader had a simple plan to win. Gaz was the referee and GIR liked Gaz. The plan was simple. Use GIR to distract the human so that Zim could crush Dib once and for all! He laughed manically and then stopped when he realised that he was doing so out loud. Dib's eyes narrowed even further. Zim glared back. Gaz sighed. This was such a waste of time. But she had complied because Dib had promised her a new video game of her choice. And a takeaway pizza.
"Ready, steady go," she said expressionlessly.
"Yaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrggggghhhhhhhh!" Dib and Zim launched themselves at each other, arms outstretched and fists flailing. Gaz watched with mild interest. Dib wasn't a bad fighter and Zim was no worse.
"Urgh! Get your filthy human hands out of my eyes, earth worm!" screamed Zim as Dib accidentally poked a large red eye. Dib simply laughed insanely and poked the other eye. Zim's eyes narrowed and he pulled Dib's glasses off.
"My glasses! I can't see!" Dib cried, waving his arms around pathetically in the air.
"GIR! Now!" cried Zim.
"Yessiiiir!" The robot walked over to Gaz who had lost interest in the fight and was now staring into space wondering whether this boredom was really worth a new video game and pizza. Maybe if the pizza was extra large…
"Helloooo!"
Gaz looked down at GIR and sighed.
"I'm gonna dance for you!" GIR announced and proceeded to do so, singing an extremely annoying song at the same time. Gaz watched, unimpressed.
"No! Gaz! It's a trick! Don't watch!" Dib screamed at her but at that moment Zim pulled out a blaster and pointed it at the centre of Dib's forehead. It was too big a target to miss. Zim tossed Dib his glasses.
"Now, earth boy, it is over! ZIM has won!"
"But! But you cheated!"
"Foolish human! Did you really believe I would play by your rules! Zim is above human rules! Now surrender!"
Dib glanced over at Gaz who was still looking sceptically at GIR. The sound of a train could be heard in the distance.
"Your sister cannot help you now! She fell for the distraction as only a human as stupid as her would! Now beg for mercy!"
"I will never beg for mercy from you! I wouldn't get it anyway. It would just be a pointless humiliating experience to give you more opportunity to gloat!"
"You are surprisingly accurate. My intention is not grant you mercy but blow your tiny brain out of your big head!"
"MY HEAD IS NOT BIG!"
Zim laughed and his finger moved towards the trigger but he didn't fire. He couldn't. Zim had made a mistake in insulting Gaz. She had crept up behind him and now she tapped the alien on the shoulder and as he turned she punched him. Hard. Dib gave a cheer and then groaned as Zim accidentally shot him in the arm. Gaz glared at the alien and then turned back to GIR who was laughing at his master and eating salted peanuts. Gaz liked peanuts. The sound of the train approaching grew louder.
Zim took the opportunity to jump to his feet, push Dib over and as the train rushed past, jumped onto it and laughed triumphantly as the train sped away.
"So long, Dib!" His laughter was cut short when Dib said from an area near his feet, "I'm right here you idiot."
Zim stared down at the human.
"What? How did you-?" Zim checked himself and, changing tone, cried out, "Ha! I have tricked you once again human swine! I have kidnapped you!"
Dib blinked up at the Irken Invader and slowly sat up. Attached to his arm was a mechanical claw with a wire cable leading back to Zim's blaster. Zim looked at the cable. He pulled out the blaster and another identical space weapon from his pack. He looked at them.
"I appear to have fired the grapple hook instead of the blaster. Oh well, Zim still wins!"
Funny, I thought this railway was abandoned, thought Dib.
"You left your robot behind," he commented aloud.
"GIR will find his own way back to base. Now, it all ends here, Dib. As you can see, I have clearly won and that means you either die or accept admittance to an asylum. Your choice."
"Why are you giving me a choice?" Dib asked, glaring suspiciously at Zim.
"Because I can then grant the opposite of what you want! And don't go saying the opposite of what you want so that I will think that is what you want and grant you the other one, which is the one you really want because I may grant you that one anyway, regardless of which one you really want!"
Dib blinked at him again and said, "Alright. But will you please remove this claw from my arm, it's kind of painful."
"No," said Zim and laughed. Dib stood up and swayed as the wind buffered him. Suddenly Zim's large eyes grew even wider. Dib turned to look, gave a yell and threw himself down. Unfortunately he was too close to Zim and landed on him.
"Get off me, Dib!" But the train sped screaming into a tunnel and Dib was forced to lie still for fear of being thrown off. He closed his eyes and held on to the train as best he could. Zim closed his eyes in disgust and fear, not liking the feeble grip he had on the train. They were stuck like that for a long time, similar thoughts running through their heads.
Stupid Zim and his stupid kidnapping plan. It wasn't even a plan at all, just an accident. Who knows where we're headed and how long this stupid tunnel is and we'll have to stay like this? Hmm, Zim smells strange. Not unpleasant but strange... Wait. Why on earth am I thinking about the way Zim smells at a time like this? Concentrate Dib! The train could burst into the open at any moment and Zim doesn't have his disguise on! Then he will be exposed for what he really is! Ahahahahahaa! But I am tired after all that fighting and Zim is weirdly comfortable to lie on…
Stupid Dib and his stupid getting caught in my grapple hook. Now we're stuck like this until we come out of this stupid tunnel and who knows how long it is?
"DIB! Stop wriggling!"
He's going to throw us both off! And then that would be the end of Invader Zim! NEVER! I must hold on to this train, I can't let the Tallest down! Hmm, odd. If I keep still then this is almost comfortable. Dib's head is a reassuring weight that I can use to stop myself from rolling off. In fact, this is strangely relaxing…
The rain whistled out into the open but Dib and Zim didn't notice. They were both so relaxed that neither noticed that the reason they saw blackness was because they had their eyes closed and they had become so soothed by the rhythmic rocking of the train and the oddly pleasant sensation of being with the other that, exhausted from their battle, they had half dozed off, relaxed in each other's company for the first time. Zim opened his eyes first and stared at Dib who was still lying on top of him. He didn't move for a few minutes until he noticed Dib stirring then,
"GET YOUR DISGUSTING BODY OFF ME, DIB-STINK!"
Dib was startled into a rude awakening and leapt up from Zim as though he had been struck by lightening. The Irken Invader jumped to his feet and the pair glared at each other, hate burning in their eyes. Neither could think of anything to say so they simply glared, annoyed at showing vulnerability in the face of the enemy. The train began to slow and both realised that they were drawing into a station. They could hear the sound of a train moving away from the station on the other side of the track. Dib glanced down at the grass beside the track and then back at Zim. Zim's eyes narrowed and then widened again as he realised what the human was going to do.
"No! Dib!" but Dib had already jumped. Zim was forced to quickly let go of the grapple hook. He glared after Dib then hurriedly jumped on the train going the opposite way. As he passed Dib he laughed triumphantly and Dib screamed back at him, "I'll get you someday Zim! Just you wait! I'll get you someday!"
The train travelled back past the place Zim and Dib had used as an arena and as Zim passed GIR jumped up to join his master. Gaz shrugged, turned away and walked home. Back in his base, exhausted from the day's events, Zim collapsed onto the sofa, unable to stop thinking of Dib and how much he annoyed him.
"Curse you, Dib!" he cried to the air. "I hate that little worm," he muttered to GIR.
Dib had finally trudged his way home, placed the grapple hook on his bedside table and gone to bed, tired and unable to stop thinking about Zim and his annoying habit of escaping before Dib could expose him.
"I hate you, Zim!" he yelled to the ceiling. Both lay awake, thinking of their enemy, plotting and hating. All the while subconsciously loving to hate and hating to love. A strange love.
What do you think? Should I write more? Send me a review and let me know!