You know, I had another plot line for this story. But after re-reading it, I find that it's good enough as it is. I'll save that plot for another time, another story. Warning: HL angst/mush ahead.
Leia paused a moment in her new apartment. How far had she come from the young diplomat captured by Vader all those years ago? Now, after the destruction of the second Death Star (and the subsequent destruction of the Emperor himself), Leia found herself in the middle of what she previously had thought she'd never have: free time.
Luke had been sent out with Rogue Squadron on some covert mission, and Leia was forced to once again realize that their battle was not yet over. Sighing audibly, she moved to the window and looked out on Coruscant. It was so busy, so full of life, that it made her heart ache for Alderaan. Before she could allow herself a moment to remember what she'd lost, her door swished open. It only admitted three people without her authorization, and two of them were currently gone, so she didn't even turn around as Han Solo entered her apartment.
"Hey, beautiful," he said, coming up behind her. He recognized her nostalgic mood, and guessed correctly that she had been reminiscing of Alderaan. He knew she was pretty delicate in these moods, so he refrained from wrapping her in an embrace. To his surprise, she leaned back into him and rested her head on his shoulder.
"Hey yourself. How's the Falcon?"
"None the worse for wear," he replied smoothly. In reality, she'd been pretty banged up and it had only been Chewbacca's insistence that he'd finish their current repair job that day that had forced Han to visit Leia. "Chewie says he can finish her up today."
"Then what?" she said softly. To Han, it sounded as if she still expected him to run off any minute. He turned her around and kissed her forehead gently.
"Hey, it's your Rebellion, you tell me." She shot him a look that said not right now, so he changed his tactics. "Mon Mothma says she has need for a runner to the Kelfor system. I have a few contacts in that area, so I told her I'd probably be interested." Leia's shoulders tensed.
"That's pretty close to an Imperial-held colony."
"Yeah, but I'm hoping the loss of the Death Star and the Emperor has shaken them up a little. Hopefully it won't be too hard; just in and out – nothin' special." He tried to reassure her quickly, before she got the urge to look up the mission parameters. With any luck at all, he would already be gone before she looked at them, and he would be able to deal with her when he returned alive and well.
"So you wouldn't mind a tag-along?" she asked suddenly. "I have this sudden urge to just get away from all this." Han honed in on the uncharacteristic abandon in her voice, and he stared into her eyes.
"Leia, what's going on? These guys need you now. Gods know they can't really do anything without you telling them how to run things."
"Han, Mon Mothma is more than capable of rebuilding the Senate without me. Besides, that's a minor concern right now, what with all the Imperial activity in the recent days." Han silently cursed to himself. He thought she had been too busy to watch the reports coming in, or had heard the rumors spreading through the flight crews. Something big was happening; the Imperials were not happy about their latest defeat. Some Grand Admiral had begun to take over, and the new regime was out for blood.
"Besides," she continued on, "we all know how…effective your method of persuasion is. For this particular mission, perhaps diplomacy is the better option." Once more, Han cursed silently. Trust her to have already reviewed his mission. Here he was lying about it to her face, and yet she wasn't yelling at him. Maybe she really did want off the planet. Or maybe she's afraid you're just one blown gasket away from bolting, he told himself. Quickly silencing his nagging inner voice, he smirked casually.
"Hey, I can be diplomatic," he argued good-naturedly, but only a small smile graced her lips.
"Han, you're definition of diplomacy is saying 'Nice vornskr' until you can find a rock." Deciding to give up the battle to win the war, Han smiled.
"You caught me. Fine, you can come, but you have to clear it with the brass. I gotta pack." A rare grin lit up her face and she kissed him quickly before sweeping out of the room. Han shook his head and left to throw some last minute mission items into the Falcon.
Two hours later, they were on their way, Han and Chewie in the cockpit and Leia sitting in the galley with C3PO. Han had nearly blown a fuse when Leia walked onboard with the droid, but she quietly explained to him that he could come in handy. Not wanting to upset the delicate balance they had struck, Han agreed. When did I get soft? he wondered as they entered hyperspace. Man, I'm glad my old smuggling buddies aren't here to see this. He left Chewie to it and turned in for some sleep.
They were due to reach Kelfor in twenty or so hours, so Han quickly scheduled shifts in the cockpit after he woke up. He went to the galley for some kaffe, but couldn't find Leia. Odd, Han thought, the only other place she hangs out in is my cabin. He found her in the game room, playing Threepio in a game of holochess. He took a seat next to her, checked the chrono, and tuned in to the game.
Leia was losing…badly. Threepio had a slight advantage in that he was able to calculate strategies, procedures, and gambits that Leia didn't even know. Han watched as Threepio began to set up a Bykon Gambit, trapping Leia's knight and queen, forcing her to sacrifice both in order to save her king. Han decided to help her out a bit.
"Hey Threepio," he started, making sure he had the droid's full attention. Han reached under the table to activate his until-recently secret switch. Chewie had found out about it and nearly gone thermal, until Han reminded him that they never placed a wager on their games. "I hear Mon Mothma's thinking about putting you in charge of the other protocol droids. You know, the ones that were under Imperial control. They'll have to be reprogrammed, and you'll have to upload all your information on the Alliance leaders, diplomats, and the like." As Threepio lurched back in excitement and began ranting on being honored by the enormous responsibility, Leia's queen moved over one space, negating the Gambit. She'd still lose her knight, but at least she had a chance now. When Threepio looked back at the board, he seemed flustered – torn between wanting to point out the discrepancy and not wanting to accuse the Princess of cheating. Leia had seen the whole thing, but remained stoically quiet. Han kissed the side of her head quickly, mumbled in her ear something about contacting Mon Mothma immediately, and left the room.
Leia lost the game – and three more after – anyway, but it was a valiant effort. She stormed through the halls of the Falcon to the cockpit, where Han's watch was almost up. She placed herself in Chewie's seat, noting that she no longer grimaced when the Wookiee's very distinct smell wafted to her nose.
"What was that?" she asked finally. Han pretended not to know what she was talking about and continued plotting a course from Kelfor back to Coruscant, hoping to shave off a few hours.
"Hmm?" he responded, but didn't take his eyes from the panel. Leia sighed, reached over, and flipped it off.
"You cheated," she said simply. "I don't need you to cheat for me to win."
"Did you win?" he asked,
"No."
"Well then, guess it really doesn't matter then." He flipped the panel back on and Leia moved to leave. "Wait," he turned away from it to face her. "Look, this is new territory for me," he admitted. "I don't like uncharted territory – too many unknowns."
"Well it's not as if I have too much experience here," she said, standing and waving her arms wildly. "I figured you –" She stopped short, but Han caught her meaning.
"Have been here with other women?" She nodded silently, and he rose to still her pacing. "Well, I haven't, not like this. Usually, I'm not around long enough, or she's not around long enough, or something happens and we never see each other again. So no, I haven't been here – hence the uncharted territory." This time, he started pacing. "Look, Princess," her head shot up at his use of an old nickname, "Maybe…I don't know…do you think that –" Her blood boiled and she shook an accusing finger at him.
"So that's it? You're running out, after all we've been through you're just gonna leave. I should have known. Three years, Han! You might as well have left after Yavin!" She started to storm out, but he blocked her path.
"Now just one minute!" he screamed back, "You may be royalty, but that doesn't mean the rest of us aren't afforded the same amount of decency as you. You always do that! When you feel threatened, you put up this…this shield, like nobody can get to you if you push them away first. You hide behind your regal upbringing and act like the rest of us don't matter! If you'd let me finish sentences, you'll find I'm not as cowardly as you make me out to be." His outburst stopped her dead, and she stared at him. But he didn't seem to notice, and his tirade continued. "I think I deserve a lot more credit than you've ever given me, Your Worship. I've done nothing but sacrifice for your little cause for three years now, and I haven't seen – nor asked for – one iota of repayment - 'cept for that little bundle I got for sticking my neck out for some princess I didn't even know. And you wanna know why? Because I care about you, Princess. I figured may be if I stayed around long enough, you'd come to see I'm not as bad as you thought I was. I thought we'd gotten somewhere, with Bespin and Endor and all. Hell, did you even know the words 'I love you' had never come out of my mouth before that moon?" He seemed to refocus on her now, and saw the tears in her eyes. His entire face softened then, and his voice dropped to normal levels. "I love you, Leia. But you can't keep pushing me away. Because one day, you might push too hard." He left then, allowing her to take her shift, and to afford her time to think.
That night, as Threepio engaged the Falcon's "nighttime" system, Leia found herself brushing out her hair in front of the mirror in the crew quarters. It had been a while since she'd had to brush it all herself; usually Han would brush the back for her while he talked of his day. Usually?she caught herself, It's only been a week or so. When did he become "usually?" She began to think back on how far they'd come from the bickering Princess and smug pirate all those years ago. She thought back on every moment, every argument, every stolen glance. He was founded in claiming she pushed people away, but he wasn't exactly an open book himself. She thought about storming into his cabin and berating him as caustically as he had her, but ended up cursing herself. That won't help you, Leia. Come on, you're a diplomat and a Senator for Force sake. Sighing, she replaced her brush in her bag and stood. It was time to regain some ground.
A faint knock on his door pulled Han from the light sleep he had fallen into. Despite his little nap earlier, he found himself exhausted from his diatribe. "Yeah," he mumbled, more to his pillow than the door. But it hissed open anyway, and Han stared sleepily at Leia. Sitting up a little in bed, he stared at her for a long moment before pulling back the covers for her. Striding over, she sat down first, looking at her hands then up to his eyes.
"Han, I – "
"Shh," he laid down and, when she did too, wrapped her in his arms protectively, as if this were the last time they would be here.
"Han, what I said. It was unfair and I apologize." She waited quietly, hoping her instincts were correct. He took in a deep breath, presumably taking in her scent as well, before he responded.
"Same here, Princess. Why don't we catch some shuteye, complete this mission, then go back to Coruscant and plan a vacation. Just you and me, anywhere you want." She smiled, hugging his arms to her briefly.
"Mmm, sounds nice. Goodnight, nerf-herder." She felt him chuckle softly and kiss her hair.
"G'nite Your Highness-ness."
How come all of my HL stories end up with them in bed? OK, so all of two, but still. Review and let me know what you think.
SNEAK PEEK:
A Rebel's Heart – Han and Leia on the trip from Hoth to Bespin. They get a little side tracked and unknowingly pick up a stow-away. (Slightly AU, multi-chaptered).