"It's Fun to Work at a BCPS"
A Crossing Jordan Mini-Fic
In the "Strange Bedfellows" Continuity
Written by Kate "SuperKate" Butler

"I want to die."

It was just after ten when Nigel flopped into bed beside his lover, his shoes and jacket still on as he snuggled beside the book-reading man, wrapping his arms around him despite the fluffy down comforter Bug had swaddled himself in.

Bug set down his book. "You said in your note you were disc-jockeying for the first time since leaving London. I would think you'd be wound up and begging me to go out with you to some shady dance club."

"I thought I would too." Two thumps sounded as the taller man kicked off his shoes. "But apparently, this friend from my time in the Queen's service not only decided to come to America and teach within the Boston County public school system, but decided to come to America and teach PRIMARY school children." His brown eyes glossed up at the other man. "Three hours, pet. Three hours of screaming, shrieking, demanding little brats with no concept of how to act around adults. Three hours of soccer moms horrified that I don't have 'The Chicken Dance' and 'The Hokey Pokey' in my files. Three hours of some ridiculous blonde woman making me stop in the middle of a song to read off some meaningless raffle name that I could barely pronounce." He nuzzled his chin into his lover's side. "If I am ever forced to either hear or play 'The Macarena' or 'The Cha Cha Slide' again in my time upon this earth, I will not be held accountable for the swift retribution paid to those individuals responsible for such an atrocity."

A smile crossed Bug's face as he smoothed his companion's sleek hair. "That bad?"

"'That bad?' My head will pound for all eternity, filled with the high-pitched howling of youth. My retinas will be forever tattooed with the images of third-graders in Easter dresses, pouting and demanding more and more Ashlee Simpson." He closed his eyes, sighing heavily. "Buggles, you know what I decided within the first half hour?"

"No, but I'm certain you'll tell me." His hand wandered to play idly with an earlobe.

"I decided, officially, that if I had to come up with the worst Hell possible to send a snide, cocky sodomite like myself, that Hell would be an endless repetition of this particular Friday night."

Bug tried, to the best of his ability, to resist the inner urge to chuckle. "At least it's over," he suggested.

The arms around his waist gripped him more tightly. "Yes, yes it is. And if I ever offer to DJ a gig for anyone under the age of twenty-seven again, I want you to take Detective Hoyt's gun from his belt and promptly shoot me."

For a long moment, they laid in silence, Bug's fingers tracing the gentle curve of Nigel's jaw and neck, their steady breathing regular and comfortable.

Then, shifting slightly, Nigel smirked, his eyes still closed. "But, in retrospect, there was a single redeeming quality to the evening," he stated plainly, rubbing his cheek against Bug's comforter-covered leg.

"Oh?"

"I WAS the only one on the dance floor who understood the true meaning of 'The YMCA.'"

Bug laughed as he picked up his book again. "Pervert."

Fin.

Standard Disclaimer: Crossing Jordan belongs to NBC and Tailwind Productions, and definitely not me.

Author's Notes: A few months ago, I was called to DJ an elementary school parent-child dance that was easily one of the worst experiences of my life. (Which is saying something, since I'm studying to be a teacher.) The one thing that got me through the night was thinking of what an excellent, excellent fanfic it would make. And this was the result.

"Strange Bedfellows" is my homemade continuity in which Bug and Nigel are a couple. Other stories in this grouping (in order!) include:

"Outside, Looking In"
"Possible Impossibilities"
"A Taste of Lime"
"24/7"
"The Element of Surprise"
"Realistic Fiction"
"The Things We Do For Whirlpool Tubs"

Thanks for reading!

June 25, 2005
10:06 a.m.