Greg for Governor
Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or Napoleon Dynamite.
January 3, 2006… Monday
The headline read Governor Grissom caught in scandal with bugs.
Of course, this was a tabloid headline, and those are hardly reputable news sources.
But, for a brief moment, Greg had hope. Maybe he could make another run at it… he could be governor. Before Grissom's six years in office were up.
First, however, he had to read the article…
Governor Gil Grissom, elected last year in the November elections in the great state of Nevada, was found to have an extensive collection of bugs, which can only be described as "icky."
"He's had those things for as long as I can remember. He loves them." An undisclosed source said.
But just how much does he love them?
"Oh, wow… sometimes I think that those bugs are the reason he never married…" The source reasoned.
Is Governor Grissom having a love affair with these monstrosities? One can only guess.
January 5, 2006…WednesdayThe talking head on the local news was doing her job, talking.
"Yesterday, a vote was held for a re-election of the governor of Nevada. The act was passed, nearly unanimously, after it was found out that our current governor, Gil Grissom, liked bugs." The talking head said. "A re-election will be held the second Tuesday in April."
That brief moment of hope that Greg had had when he had read the tabloid headline came back, this time, stronger. Greg Sanders was running for governor. Again.
January 6, 2006… Thursday"Nick, we're running again! Fire up those presses, we need signs with catchy slogans!" Greg ordered.
"Um… are you seriously thinking about running again?" Nick asked.
"Of course!" Greg replied. "But this time, I'm gonna win! I've got the charisma; I've got the experience! Why, do chickens have large talons?"
"Yes, but Napoleon Dynamite has a better chance of winning."
"But he doesn't live in Nevada!"
February 25, 2006… Wednesday"So, Greg, do you have a plan?" Nick, who was back as Greg's campaign manager after some pleading, asked.
"Of course!" Greg exclaimed. "I am going to convince the public that I stand for anti-bug. That I find them yucky!"
Nick scoffed. "Yeah, cause they haven't done anything good lately."
"Exactly!" Greg agreed.
"I mean, you know, they only saved my life…" Nick continued.
"Yeah, but they were eating you alive." Greg reminded him.
"True." Nick nodded. "True."
March 24, 2006… Thursday"Greg…" Sara sighed. "You realize that I can't let you do this, right?"
"What are you gonna do to stop me?" Greg asked.
"The same thing I do every time Greg, try to take over the world!" Sara replied. "Wait, I mean, run against you!"
"Are you scheming up lots of world domination again, Sara?" Greg questioned.
"No. But I am scheming up a stellar platform to thoroughly thrash you this time!" Sara exclaimed.
March 25, 2006… Friday"I'm running for governor!" Ecklie announced.
"Who's your campaign manager?" Greg suspiciously asked.
"Hodges." Ecklie matter-of-factly replied.
"Oh, yeah, that'll help." Greg sarcastically remarked.
"Well, I'll have you know that we have an excellent platform." Hodges retorted.
"And what is this 'excellent' platform?" Greg questioned.
"We dislike bugs except when they help to environment." Hodges answered.
"…" Greg stared at him.
"What?" Hodges asked.
"…" Greg continued to stare.
"Yes?" inquired Hodges.
"…You're so wishy-washy." Greg answered.
"A regular John Kerry." Warrick pitched in.
"Except he lost." Ecklie pointed out.
"NICK!" Greg yelled. "What's our stance on bugs in the environment?"
"If they sting, they're bad!" Came the reply.
"See? That's a much better platform!" Greg boasted.
The second Tuesday of AprilThere was a baby kissing war at the polls. Greg, Ecklie, and Sara had all come to the same precinct to kiss as many babies as possible and get as many of the sway voters they could.
Greg got to kiss more babies, at least from all the single mothers. Sara got the single fathers, by far. And Ecklie was the lone competitor who got to kiss only one baby.
"Eck!" Greg exclaimed. "All I can taste is baby powder!"
"Where were you kissing the babies?" Sara asked.
"…On their hairless heads." Greg replied. "Duh!"
The second Wednesday of April"Well…" Catherine sighed. "The votes are in."
"Don't tell me… Grissom won." Greg said.
"Actually, no. He didn't. He wasn't even running this time." Catherine replied.
"Oh. Then who won?" Greg asked.
"Ecklie." Catherine answered.
"Drat monkeys!" Greg exclaimed.
"What favoritism movement did you lose to this time?" Sara asked.
"The one about people liking crusty, balding white guys!" Greg replied.
"Or maybe the one about having a good platform." Catherine suggested.
"No, that can't be it." Greg shook his head. "Most people don't vote because of platforms! You should know that!"
A/N: sorry I posted this, took it down, and re-posted it. But not really because chapter 2 alpha was horrible. (of course, you may think that this one is, too, but, everyone's entitled to their opinion… and their choice of governor.)