Disclaimer: Nope, i do not own any naruto characters
"You're leaving."
Kakashi paused in the midst of packing. He knew without looking up who that voice belonged to.
"It's none of your business, Iruka-sensei."
"I'm making it my business to know!"
Kakashi was too weary to bother replying. He packed in the last of his belongings. There wasn't much to pack anyway. Few items were worth bringing.
"You bastard! At least give me a goddamn reply!"
Wow.
Kakashi didn't know Iruka could curse. He didn't credit himself for making Iruka angry. Iruka was probably mad that Kakashi was leaving Konoha when their shinobi strength was so low. Iruka was immensely loyal to Konoha.
So was Kakashi.
Or so he had thought.
"Goddamn you!"
A heavy fist connected with Kakashi's cheek, sending him reeling a few steps backwards. Something wet trickled down from the side of his mouth.
Blood
He glanced up to see Iruka's face flushed with anger.
Anger that was directed at him.
Kakashi couldn't even feel his heart break anymore.
"You're a selfish bastard, Kakashi-sensei. Just because something goes wrong, you drop your head and run. You're more of a coward then I thought. "
Kakashi said nothing. Whatever Iruka said could not affect him anymore. He was empty, empty inside out.
Kakashi silently closed his luggage. He paused at the doorway, head bowed.
"I'm sorry."
Iruka watched with barely contained anger and frustration as Kakashi strode off into the morning light.
Kakashi… Konoha's tensai ninja, bearer of the Shiringan. How could he forsake Konoha?
Iruka didn't understand. Ever since Kakashi had returned from the mission with a badly wounded Naruto, he had changed.
If people had thought Kakashi aloof before that, now he was practically a recluse. Then, just one week after their returned, rumours had it that Kakashi was leaving Konoha, leaving his life as a shinobi, for good.
Iruka didn't want to believe it. He had run all the way to Kakashi's apartment, only to find the jounin packing his luggage.
Although Iruka was angry, he did not miss the blank expression in Kakashi's eyes. It was as if his soul was dead, and the Kakashi before him was just an empty shell.
Iruka's heart ached for him.
Kakashi…Why do you torture yourself like this? Don't you know that no man is every perfect? Do you honestly think that we blame you? Stubborn, idiotic man!
Iruka had wanted to talk calmly and peacefully persuade Kakashi to stay. Instead, when Kakashi had ignored him, Iruka could feel his anger burning.
He's ignored me all his life. I couldn't let him ignore me when he's about to disappear from my life… forever…
Iruka covered his face with his hands.
I really did screw things up didn't I?
Images of an expressionless Kakashi kept intruding into Iruka's mind. He had never seen Kakashi so lifeless before. The laughter and teasing look in his eyes were gone. The wariness of a skilled warrior was gone. Even the will to fight had left his eyes.
I can't let him leave like this! He'll get killed the minute he bumps into the enemy!
Iruka was going to go after Kakashi. AND, he was going to bring him back home.
It had begun to drizzle. Not that Kakashi minded. He plodded steadily along. The recent injuries he sustained didn't allow him to move at more then a normal pace.
The drizzle became light rain.
Kakashi just let the rain soaked through his clothes. He didn't care if he caught a cold. He didn't know where he was walking to. All he wanted to do was to place as much distance between him and Konoha.
He had walked a little way into the woods when he felt hostile presence surrounding him.
A masked ninja dropped down on the path before him.
"Hand over all your valuables or my men and I will cut your throats."
Wordlessly, Kakashi complied. Money no longer meant anything to him. He stood in silence as the robbers searched his body.
Then, four kunais cut the air beside him in a whizzing sound and thudded into the chests of the two robbers beside him.
A ninja appeared to stand in front of him.
Kakashi felt his first emotions since the last week. Shock and disbelief.
Even from the back, he knew who was the ninja who had interfered. Countless of times he had spent, sneaking around just so that he could have a look at him, admire the way he interacts with his students and making him angry on purpose just so that he could see his flushed face.
Iruka… why wouldn't you just leave me alone now?
"Back off."
Iruka's voice was soft but cold.
"And why should we listen to a brat like you? I'll willingly take you on and I'll have you out flat in 5 minutes." The leader of the gang replied.
"Iruka-sensei get out of here! This is my problem not yours!" Kakashi hissed angrily.
"No, Kakashi-sensei, until I get you back in Konoha, I won't leave you alone." Iruka was determined.
Damn that infuriating man. Kakashi felt another flash of emotion. He was left with no choice. He was not going to let another person get hurt because of him.
Grabbing a startled Iruka around his waist, Kakashi dropped some exploding notes and fled the scene.
His side was beginning to ache. But Kakashi didn't want to stop just yet. Having Iruka in his arms felt good and he didn't want to release the indignant chuuin who was sputtering at him to "Let me down!" yet.
He stopped at an abandoned temple near the edge of the woods.
Iruka was mortified! He had wanted to "save" Kakashi. Instead, he had ended up being carried around like one of his naughty students.
"Why do you even bother to come after me?" Kakashi's coldness stung.
"Be…because Konoha needs you! How can you leave everyone just like that?"
Kakashi gave a bitter laugh that rang hollowly within the temple. "Poor Iruka-sensei, you really don't know what it means to be a shinobi do you. To be used like a tool, with no future, no dreams. Everything you do must in accordance to the Hokage. You don't have a life to call your own!"
Kakashi advanced upon a shocked Iruka.
"Do you know what it is like when the Father you always thought was a hero became shunned and hated by all other ninjas? Do you know what it is like when you know that your teammate died because of a belief that you had held steadfastly over the years? Do you know what it is like to watch helplessly as you see Sasuke, talented and gifted go over to the dark side and wonder all the time if there was anything else you could have done? Do you know what it is like when you see Naruto, fight with all he's got to protect you when all you could do was stand helplessly at the sidelines and watch?"
By now Kakashi had backed Iruka up the wall. His eye was blood shot and had a hint of madness in it.
"Do you know what it feels like to bear the scar of your wrongdoings on you forever?" Kakashi pulled back his forehead protector to reveal one bright orb, swirling madly. A 10cm long scar ran right across his left eye.
"Do you know why I hide my face behind the mask? Do you even know anything at all?" With that, Kakashi yanked the mask away from his face.
Iruka stared up dumbfounded at Kakashi whose face was mere inches away from him. His breaths were hard and uneven. Iruka could feel it on his cheeks.
"I…." Iruka felt helpless. Reaching out, he traced the ugly scar across Kakashi's cheek. It stretched from his right ear all the way to the edge of his mouth. Iruka's fingers stopped beside his lips.
Kakashi's breathing was laboured. His eyes closed as he banged his fists on the wall above Iruka.
"I'm a failure, Iruka-sensei. I failed my teammates, I failed to teach Sasuke and bring him back the correct path. I failed to show Naruto more care. I failed to bring both Naruto and Sasuke back for Sakura. I failed Konoha. I'm an utter failure. Just leave me…" Kakashi's voice was broken.
"Ssshhh… no more." Iruka placed his fingers on Kakashi's lips, silencing him. Despite the prominent scar, Kakashi looked absolutely gorgeous to him. Straight nose, high cheekbones and a stubborn chin.
Gathering Kakashi into his arms, Iruka pressed Kakashi's head on his shoulder and gently stroke his hair.
"Sometimes you need to cry it out."
"Cry? I've forgotten how to cry… Ever since my mum died, I never cried again. Ninjas don't cry."
Iruka just held Kakashi for a while and Kakashi relished at being so close to the man he had always loved, but didn't dare to acknowledge. He could smell the musky odor that was Iruka's, could feel the gentle fingers in his hair. It was enough.
"Iruka-sensei, why go through this extent for me? Gai, Kurenai and Asuma, even Tsunade didn't try to stop me. Why are you so persistent?"
Iruka stopped his stroking. He pulled back and stared at the ground for a while.
Kakashi's heart sank. It must have been them who had sent Iruka to bring him back. It was after all only a shinobi's mission that Iruka had to complete.
His head bowed.
"Kakashi, look at me." Iruka's gentle fingers lifted his chin up. Tears glistened in Iruka's eyes, making them look like shining diamonds.
"I love you Kakashi. I always did. Ever since you were a child, the youngest to graduate from the academy. When you were a chuuin, I watched at the sidelines, secretly congratulating you. When I heard of the loss of your teammate, I wept for you. When you became Naruto's sensei…."
Iruka paused for a moment.
"I hated you for taking Naruto away from me. Then I saw how you loved Naruto in your own way and I loved you for that. Except, except that you never acknowledge my presence. You never liked me, you always thought I was an irritating chuuin. It doesn't matter though, I still love you."
Kakashi's heart leapt. His mind was a bundle of confusion. Iruka loves me! Despite all that I've told him, he still loves me!
For the first time since his mother died, Kakashi's eyes filled with wonder and tears. Iruka loves me!
Cradling Iruka's face in his hands, Kakashi whispered, "I love you too" and he took Iruka's mouth into his.
Iruka had opened his mouth in surprise, giving Kakashi easy access inside. His tongue swirled around the inside of Iruka's mouth. He tasted of sweetness and the saltiness of tears. He prodded and seeked, pressing deeper and deeper into the core of him.
Iruka's surprise gave way to boldness as he sparred with Kakashi's tongue. His hands grabbed Kakashi's hair and he gave a soft moan of pleasure.
They were both breathing hard when they broke off.
"… do you really love me?" Iruka asked in awe.
Kakashi nodded.
"and… you really love me too?" Kakashi asked.
Iruka nodded.
"Even if I'm a pervetic bastard and even if I seem to hurt everyone I love?"
Iruka nodded and smiled. "I love you and it is not your fault that things happen around you. When you have great power, you have great responsibilities. You see more deaths, more trouble. It is just fate and none of your fault."
For the first time in more then twenty years, Kakashi allowed himself to break the ninja rule that stated that ninjas never showed their emotions.
Iruka cradled Kakashi in his arms as he let Kakashi weep his heart out.
Kakashi cried for the tears that were left unshed at his Father's funeral. He cried for the death of Obito. He cried for the death of the two hokage who had been both mentor, advisor and friend. He cried for Sasuke, who was so wrapped up in revenge he gave up on everything else. He cried for Naruto who always tried so hard but currently lie in a coma in Konoha's hospital. He cried for all that he had not allowed himself to in the past.
And Iruka just held him. Just held him and sat by him as he wept like never before.
After a long while, Kakashi dried his tears.
Iruka pulled him up for a sweet and gentle kiss.
"I'll never let you be alone again." Iruka smiled into Kakashi's mouth.
Kakashi's hands crept underneath Iruka's shirt to the solid muscles beneath.
No words needed to be said. The dark passion in their eyes told each other all that they wanted to hear…
Outside, the dark clouds began to clear, taking the rain away with them. If one would to look far enough, one would be able to see a faint rainbow hanging in the eastern side of the sky.
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