Disclaimer: I'm not smart enough to own Naruto

You and Me
Chap 1: To Hyuuga Neji

It's all because of me that you are here.

The moment I was born, you were destined to be enslaved to me.

It is my fault that you grew in bitterness, my fault that you never learn to fly...

I remember clearly the first time I saw you. You smiled at me.

Hyuuga Neji, tensai of the Hyuuga clan. It didn't matter that you were from the Branch house. At least, it didn't matter to me. You were one year older then me and had already known so many techniques of the Hyuuga clan. You didn't have to bother spending time with me.

And yet you did.

You took me under your wing, taught me the little that you've known. Sparred with me to improve my techniques. We played together for the few days that you came over to stay.

It was the happiest of my memories.

Barely a few days later, you changed.

I didn't know what happened. I thought that it was something I did to make you angry at me.

I smiled and approached you.You just walked away. I tired to ask you what did I do wrong, but you just ignored me. The worst was the hatred stare you gave me. It broke my heart.

How was I to know all about the curse seal and brach and main house? I was only three!

But you were only four... Four! Too young to have borne this burden, too young to have suffered the loss you suffered. You shouldn't have to bear the curse seal. It was for me that you became a caged bird.

As I grew older, I understood why you hated me.

I am heir of the Hyuuga clan, and yet, I don't fight as well as you, I can't use the Byakugan as well as you. I'm not as smart as you. I'm nothing compared to you.

I wish I didn't have to be shinobi. I wish I didn't have to be the heir and that you belonged to the Main House instead of me, and that you could be heir instead of me!

But it is not possible. This is my destiny. No amount of wishing and hoping could turn what fate had decreed. I could only accept my inheritance just as I accepted the hatred you threw on me.

From then on, you never said a kind word to me. You never looked at me with anything other then hatred or coldness. It was as if I was never born. Like I was non-existent.

But I understand, I think. It is your hatred to the Main House, for my Dad, for fate. You directed all your anger to me. But i tell myself it is okay, I think that I don't mind much. Because I think I can understand why you hate me so much. I wonder who I was comforting.

We grew up together in the same academy, but it was as if you never had a cousin like me.

I will watch you practice in the courtyard and you would walk away when you see me.

I learnt to watch you discreetly, for I never hated you at all. In my mind, you were still the big brother I first knew.

But you never ever acknowledge me.

To you, I was vermin. The worst shinobi ever to graduate from the academy.

And deep down inside, I knew you were right. I was really the most terrible shinobi. I'm not as smart as Sakura in studying history and facts, I'm not as skilled as Lee in Taijutsu, I'm not as good as Sasuke in Ninjustu, and I can't do Genjutsu. I'm not smart, I don't fight well, I'm really not a good shinobi.

And then I met Naruto-kun. I tried to direct my adoration for you at him. He was different from you in everway. Loud-mouth, prankster, he's not very good in his studies and shinobi skills. He was like a partner for me.

But he's not you. I didn't like him as I had liked you.

As I still like you.

When I graduated from the academy, we had a celebration at the Main House for me. I waited for you to congratulate me, to acknowledge me.

I waited all night.

I never saw you.

It hurt, but I forgive you, like I had forgiven you and like I will continue to forgive you. The hatred you bore was too deep to be changed overnight. I understood, or I tried to. I think perhaps I was only trying to give myself a little comfort. I imagined just a little in your heart that you acknowledged me.

Before the chuuin exam, you spoke to me.

My heart leapt. It was the first time you spoke to me outside from the necessary courtesy. What were you going to say? Were you going to help me with my Taijutsu? Were you going to encourage me on the chuuin exam?

I was too naïve.

You told me to stop wasting my time and forget about the chuuin exam. You told me politely that I was a worthless-good-for-nothing who would never make it through and would only be dragging my teammates down. You told me that if I ever meet you in a match situation, you will not hesitate to kill me.

I understood.

But it was my destiny to take the exam. I will not run away from it.

We did meet each other in battle. Kiba told me to forfeit. I know Kurenai-sensei was expecting me to forfeit too. Even you, you knew that I wanted to forfeit.

But Naruto gave me hope. He gave me courage. He made me realize that we are masters of our own destiny. That our future and who we are is not so much defined by fate, but by our own actions, our own choices.

Besides, I saw the hunger in your eyes. The hunger for blood of the Main House. If killing me would dissolve the hatred that you have left festered in your soul, I would gladly be the sacrifice.

I fought with everything I had, because I knew that it could very well be my last fight. Maybe I wanted to prove that I was not the worthless baggage you always called me. Maybe, for once, I would like to see pride in your eyes. Just once, I would like you to look at me with something other then hatred or disgust.

Until the end, it still wasn't enough. I only saw anger and more anger. Hatred and more hatred, fuelling the desire in you. At that moment, I realized that you held true to your word and will kill me.

I was still no match for you.

I waited at the hospital for you to come and visit me. I hoped and hoped that one day I would wake up to see your face beside my bed.

It was mere wishful thinking on my part.

When I knew of the results of your match with Naruto, I was happy for him. Naruto worked so hard to defeat you. At the same time, my heart cried a little for you. You never had much freedom in your life, you were denied so much. And to be defeated by Uzimaki Naruto, it must have been hard for you.

I left the tiny bottle of medication cream by your hospital bed.

I hoped that you had used it.

I heard you had to go on a mission to retrieve Sasuke. There will be no jounins on the team, it will consist solely of genins and one chuuin.

The tears I shed that night were for you.

You didn't see me hiding behind the trees when the others came to see you off. I was already an expert at hiding from you and using jutsu to conceal my presence from the Byakugan.

I watched until I could see your retreating back no more.

When word came that you were badly hurt, I almost cried then and there. I rushed to the hospital to see you covered in bandages. My heart wept then.

I came to visit you the day after that and the following, until you woke up to find me there.

You shouted at me to get out.

And I did.

That was when I knew you would never return to me. You would never again treat me like your little sister. You will always hate me, and no matter how hard I try, I will never get your love.

Comments/criticism are welcome :)