Story Title: My Life from a Bird's Eye View
Chapter Number: 12
Date Written: 11/30/05
Date Uploaded: 1/16/06
Author: incompetent.twitch
Disclaimer: 'Tis not mine. Nada. Except for Cece. I do own her.
Last time on MLFABEV:
"I'm sorry." He croaks. "I just needed to get that out before…before I let go."
And now he's turned away from me and is walking down the corridor, leaving my senses haywire from my very first kiss.
"Bloody wanker…hate you, Potter…" I mumble as I turn over on my bed.
"Are you sure she's okay?" I hear Sirius ask. He's sitting on one of the beds of our dormitory…he and Remus used some sort of spell to get up the girl's staircase after I came running with tears all over the place, Cece and Bella following behind me.
"No," Bella snaps. "Would you be fine if the guy you loved walked out on you?"
"I DON'T LOVE HIM!" I shriek, throwing a pillow at her. It's slams into her face and she rolls of the bed, landing with an audible 'thump'. She pops up a second later and throws me an irritated look.
"Yes you-"
"Bella, there were many things that you said wrong a minute ago." Sirius says, apparently hoping to prevent a fight from starting.
It works. Bella, apparently, has the attention span of a pillow. Which is not very long, I might add. I wonder if you can test for things like that. I bet I could figure out a way to understand what pillows are thinking! I can see the headlines now…'Lily Evans:Scientist of Inanimate Objects'…
Ahem. Right. Focus on Sirius, Lily. Focus, dammit!
"Oh?" Bella returns icily. She hugs my pillow to herself without minding any thoughts it might have. How rude!
"Yes. Number one: No, I wouldn't be fine if the guy I loved walked out on me because I am straight, dammit! Number two: Technically, James and Lily-pill," I groan at the nickname and both Cece and Remus cast me amused looks "Weren't ever living together. And number three: how could Lily love him if just yesterday, she hated him!"
"Erm, I actually, um, cough, have a…confession to make?" I phrased it as a question, screwing my face up and willing myself to loathe Potter again.
"Ooh! Yeah, yeah? What is it?" Cece bubbled over with curiosity. I gave her a frightened look and hid behind my pillow. Remus managed to coax her out of her hyperactive state, and when that was done, I came out from behind the pillow barrier.
"IhadagigantuanouscrushonJamesPottersincefirstyearanditstartedagainlastJanuary!"
They all stared at me in shock. Surprisingly, I think that they all understood me. Woah, way to go Lily! You have developed one communication skill! Now, let's go get some good ice cream so that we can wallow-
THUD
Sirius fell off the bed in a dead faint.
"Nnknr…snifflesnuffle…" moaned Sirius from the hospital bed.
I glanced up. I was the only one waiting for him. The rest of our so called 'friends' (psh, yeah right!) left us to go find Potter.
And yes, I have gone back to calling Potter. And hating him. It's got to be the easiest thing ever!
Actually, I believe that James Potter is quite like nicotine.
I hate that boy.
Anyways…"Poke." Hey, I did an onomatopoeia! Haha…"Sirius. Sirius! Are you dead?"
"Nrgfl…no. Hey, where is everybody?" Sirius asked, sitting up.
"They went to find he-who-shall-not-be-named." I say.
"WHAT!" he cries, jumping out of bed. Before I can stop him, he's out and running down the hallway screaming "Not Voldemort, don't die guys! I'LL SAVE YOU!"
"THEY'RE NOT GOIN AFTER VOLDEMORT, EINSTEIN! THEY'RE LOOKING FOR POT-oompf!"
Sirius stopped moving, the bloody moron. He turned around, looking sheepish. I glanced behind him and saw Remus cowering behind a suit of armor. A sheepish grin crossed my face as well.
I cleared my throat. "Did you find him, Remmy?"
Remus raised one of his eyebrows. "You were looking for pot?"
Sirius' brow furrowed. "Eh? What are you on about now, Moon-man?"
I smacked him upside the head. "That is possibly the worst nick name ever, Siripoo." Remus erupted into laughter as I said this. Sirius scrunched his nose and directed an irritated look towards me. "I wasn't looking for pot, I was in the middle of saying 'Potter' when this oaf here" I directed my pointer finger at Sirius ("Ow! My eye, you mork! MINE EYE!") "Decided to stop. Now, did you find the moozer or not?"
Remus opened his mouth to answer but Sirius interrupted him. "What on earth is a moozer?"
"It's 'mork' and 'loser' mixed together. Really, it describes you perfectly. Remus! Answer me now, dammit! And keep your mouth shut Sirius!"
"Well…yes, I found him." Remus shifted uncomfortably.
"And…?" Sirius prodded.
"Grfnklesnrflgrfl." Remus grumbled to us. I resurrected my pointing-of-the-pointer-finger act.
"English, por favor. Now. If you don't, I'll be forced to castrate you." I threatened.
Remus looked horrified and moved his hands-not even discreetly. "He's taking Gena on a date in Hogsmeade! Okay? Are you HAPPY? Am I still in danger of being castrated?"
"Moony-Moony! Stop hyperventilating. Lily looks like she's gonna die or something, and you're worried about being castrated? How selfish!" Sirius scolded.
"How odd." Cece's voice floated down the corridor. "Sirius scolding Remus! This must be a one-time only thing, yeah boys?"
Sirius huffed. "Lily still looks like she's going to pass out, and you're here laughing! At me, nonetheless! That's almost as bad as Moony. Here come help your friend."
With that last sentence Sirius clapped me on the back. Of course, I'd been frozen in the same position the whole time. My finger was still pointing accusingly at Remus, and my face at a shocked and slightly mortified look on it. And since I'd been frozen in place, I wasn't ready for the impact that Sirius' hand would cause.
I let out a muffled shriek as I fell face first onto the pavement. Then I groaned. Remus rushed over to me and fussed for a bit, doing a hell of a lot of nothing at all. I could hear Cece yelling angrily at Sirius as Remus helped me push myself into some sort of a sitting/squatting/standing position. I wasn't previously aware that one was able to do all three positions at once, but I managed it.
I heaved a sigh. "Oi! You wankers, look at me!" I screeched at Sirius and Cece. I windmilled my arms, unfortunately smacking Remus in the face. I patted his head as he held his nose and glared at me through watery eyes. "Good, you're all paying attention. Report, Cece!"
"Bella is waiting by the witch-statue-thingy with…nothing, actually. James-"-Here I clear my throat menacingly-"Sorry, Potter appears to have taken both the map and the cloak with him."
"What! This is an outrage!" Sirius screams. His eyes are bulging and spit is flying from his mouth. Yeah, it's just a bit scary. "That map is three-fourths ours!"
"Well, technically, it's only one-half ours at this present moment because Peter isn't with us." Remus corrected.
"Alrighty then!" I sang. "We're off to find the Wizard!" I began as Cece and I looped arms and yanked the two disgruntled boys behind us.
Cece even added a new line to the song. "We're off to find the Wizard! The wonderful Wizard on pot!"
"Oh…Oh! There he is! Look, Lily-pill, I found Pot-ow!"
"Shut up Bella!" Remus hissed. We had somehow managed to arrive at Hogsmeade without getting caught by any teachers or other authoritative figures.
I peered out from behind Remus. About halfway down the street, near the Three Broomsticks, stood Potter and Gena. And I do believe that they're holding hands!
"How dare they!" I gasp, tripping over my feet as I struggle to both get a better view and stay under the invisibility cloak. I nearly knock Remus over in the process, but I hardly pay attention to him.
"What'd he do?" Sirius asked, bouncing on the balls of his feet, also trying to get a better view of the nauseating couple.
"They're holding hands! In front of me!" I gasped.
"Lily, hun," Cece snorted while Bella shook with silent laughter. "He doesn't know you're here remember? Plus, they're going out now. You remember, don't you?"
Great, now she has her worried look on. Wait, everyone is wearing that look! (I must be very out of style…) Oh Merlin, they all think I'm crazy! Or possessed! Uh-oh, what if I am possessed?
Oh holy moozers, it'll be like in the exorcist! Will they exorcise me? Nah, Cece wouldn't let them do that. Wait, yes she would! She's the one that started this whole thing! OH MY GOD! I'M DOOM-
Hold it, Lily. You can still escape.
"Of course I remember, silly!" I say with a huge fake grin, leaning forward to pinch Cece's cheek. Great, they're still staring. I beam at them for a few more seconds before throwing the cloak off of me and dashing down the street.
"Lily!" Bella cries as the rest of my minions (evil minions, but minions nonetheless) tried to follow me. Unfortunately for them, they'd forgotten to remove the cloak. I turned around for a moment, slightly dazed as I watched the random body parts of my friends appear and then promptly disappear. Most of Bella popped up. She began to come after me, but she tripped and fell face first over someone else's foot. I wince slightly as I now watch her come up and spit some random gravel out of her mouth. I turn around and gaze about my surroundings. Ooh, Zonko's! Fun! We should go in there and-
Moozers. Potter and Gena have seen me. And they're staring at me, too! How rude!
Suddenly I see a flash of…Sirius besides me. He runs towards James, his arms swinging wildly about him. "That's not Lily!" he cries to his best friend. "That's a possessed ghost, using Lily's body as a temporary home!"
See! I knew that they thought that I was possessed!
My animal instincts kicked in. Okay, I actually don't have any animal instincts. But I can still run! I flapped my arms hysterically as I began to venture down the street again. Ah, there are the animal instincts! I'm a bird!
Wouldn't that be cool if I were really a bird, looking down at my life?
No, actually it would suck. A lot. So much, in fact, that I might just end up committing birdie-suicide and flying into an airplane.
That actually seems very plausible.
"Lily-pill!" Bella screeches at me. Gawd, what is it with these nicknames! "Come baaaaaack!"
"Lily, you're not in the right state of mind!" That's Sirius.
"Lily, you're human, not a bird!" Enter Remus!
"Lily, it's okay! We can help you!" Nuh-uh, Cece, you got me into this mess!
"I can't believe you ever liked that nutcase, Jamie." Cooed the nasally voice of Gena. I stop dead, arms still wind milling crazily as her voice cuts through the air. Now I can hate her. Now I have something against her. I turn around and glare, at both her and Potter. He's not going to stick up for me anymore, is he? I'm all by myself-don't wanna be-all by myself…
Man, I must have ADD or something. Glaring Mode: ON.
"You," I begin, pointing at Gena. "And you," I switch my accusatory finger to Potter, "Can kiss my high-strung, natural born Caucasian a-shite!" I cry as I'm tackled to the ground by Bella. "What was that for?" I cry as I shove her off of me and sit up.
"I was saving you!"
I gazed around, looking for a pack of Death Eaters or something equally threatening to me, so much that I would need saving. There wasn't anything. "From what?" I ask her exasperatedly.
"You tripped a while ago." Bella explains. "It was a late reaction, I guess."
"Just hold that there for a few minutes, Miss Evans." Madam Pomfrey says as she pushes an ice pack (rather hard, too) against the aching back of my head. I'd actually bumped it quite hard when Bella tackled me. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to give me a concussion, or even knock me out! Next time I'll have to bump it harder…
Sirius, Bella, Remus, and Cece ended up stupefying me and dragging me back to Hogwarts. Literally. I have all the random scratches and bumps to prove it. Then, 'because they were worried for my sanity', they hauled me off to the hospital wing.
So here I am. With no gifts from secret admirers. Or my friends. They've gone too.
"Lily-pill?"
Never mind, I guess I'm not that lucky. Here come the loonies.
"It's ALIVE!" cries Sirius dramatically as he jumpes onto the foot of the hospital cot, making me bounce up a few feet and land on the floor.
"Sirius!" Remus scolded as Cece and Bella rush to my side. I rub the back of my head, grimacing.
"What time is it?" I ask, my tummy grumbling. "My tummy is grumbling." Woah, score! I said the same thing that I thought!
Remus glances at his watch, then at Sirius (who looked like a dog on coke, the way he's bouncing on that cot), then back at his watch again.
"It's about Eleven thirty at night on September-"
"Blah blah blah, can we go down to the kitchens?" I interrupt him. He huffs and stamps his foot as the other three laugh at my impatience. I look up at Remus imploringly. He rubs his eyes, sighs, and then nods.
Whooping with joy, I take a step out of the hospital wing…
…And am immediately dragged back in as Madam Pomfrey gets a good grip on my robes.
"Hold on a second, Miss Evans. Just one more thing before you leave…"
"Stupid head band…" I grumble as I drag my feet towards the direction of the kitchens. I can hear Bella and Sirius sniggering behind me. Luckily Cece and Remus have more respect for those who are hurt.
"Lily, you really need to stop talking out loud." Cece laughs. Now she joins in. Backstabber!
"I was not talking out loud!" I whine melodramatically.
This, of course, just makes my friends laugh harder. I childishly stomp my way over to the portrait of the bowl of fruit.
Madam Pomfrey deemed it necessary for me to keep the ice pack against my head for a longer period of time. When I complained of an aching arm from holding the ice pack up for so long, she put me in a headlock and wrestled a headband over both the ice pack and I.
Sirius then found it obnoxiously hilarious to christen the ice pack 'Leopold'. I hate my friends. I really, really do.
I extend my hand towards the quivering pear in the portrait, but before I can begin to tickle it, the door swings open and my finger accidentally stabs it pointy way onto the tip of James Potter's face.
James Potter's incredibly angry face, to be exact.
Ooh…
It's been a long time, hasn't it? cringes I'm really sorry. I've been really busy studying for midterms-which I should be doing right now-and I had writers block. Along with that, I went down to visit my sick great-aunt (who was only 70 something, but I digress) and found out that she'd died about 3 hours before I got there.
I know, excuses excuses. I really am sorry though. I take my midterms this week, and my winter ball is the 21st…so hopefully I should have the next chapter up within 2 weeks. I'm not making any promises, but I will try really hard.
Well, I hope you enjoyed it! And if you feel the need to yell at me, or tell me how incredibly awful I was for leaving you hanging, just leave it in a review.
Au revoir!
-twitch