Stinkbomb, Kaiba?
It was to be a glorious pranking, one unmatched by any other in the history of Domino, daringly targeting the off-limits and imposing Kaiba mansion. Except that Joey and Téa got lost inside the unnecessarily large house.
Part One of Four – Sneaking In
"This is the stupidest idea ever," Téa grumbled.
"No it's not!" Joey sounded wounded. "It's brilliant. Tristan's going to be so jealous."
"So why didn't you bring him instead of me?" Téa complained, pulling a leaf out of her hair and making a face.
"He said he had to do that history paper. Sucks to be him. High-five to us slackers!" In the limited space, Joey raised a palm, but Téa merely arched an eyebrow at him.
"I finished the paper three days ago. When, exactly were you planning on doing it?" she inquired sweetly.
Joey lowered his hand sheepishly, drawing idly in the dirt. "Hey, I'm passing that class," he defended lamely.
"Not for long," she muttered threateningly.
"First period study hall!" Joey exclaimed in a flash of brilliance. "I have first period study hall!"
Ignoring him, Téa checked her watch, using the tiny penlight she'd brought along. "God, it's 3:47 in the morning," she groaned. She felt something crawl up her leg and hurriedly brushed it aside, not daring to speculate on what it was. Spider! her mind supplied, and she forced the thought away, focusing on the stagnant conversation with Joey. "And here I am, crouched under a bush with you."
"A very conveniently placed bush," Joey grinned. "For all his damn security, I bet Kaiba never even thought that people could use this conveniently-placed bush to sneak into his house."
"And destroy it," Téa finished with a sigh.
"Not destroy! Prank," Joey corrected.
Téa let her head fall onto the chain-link fence that she was currently resting against. The fence wound around all the Kaiba's property, broken only by the front gate. She and Joey were sitting in the cold, slightly damp dirt under the conveniently-placed bush; i.e. right next to the front gate. Right now it was firmly shut and locked, and had been for the last twenty minutes.
"Are you sure that delivery truck is supposed to arrive tonight?" she asked for the third time.
"Hey, I told you! I heard him talking on his cell-phone. Kaiba told the truck to bring the new computer equipment between three-thirty and four, and that the guards would let him in."
"And you're sure it was three-thirty in the morning?" she asked skeptically.
"Yeah, 'cause Kaiba specifically said so. The guy on the end didn't sound so happy… but Kaiba said he'd pay him a little extra… then he turned around and saw me listening and tried to kill me."
Téa ignored the dramatic ending to the story, because headlights finally pierced the dark night. She grabbed at Joey's arm, hissing at him to be quiet.
The truck pulled up, just feet away from their hiding place. Joey and Téa scrambled up, crouching on their knees. Joey slipped his backpack on, and Téa leaned over his shoulder, trying to see what was going on.
A window rolled down, and a tired-looking man leaned out and addressed the speaker. "I've got the computer equipment Mister Kaiba requested? The hard drive supplements?"
"Of course," a voice came from the speaker. "I'll let you inside in a moment."
The driver receded, the window rolled up, and Joey and Téa tensed up. After a few agonizing seconds, the gate sloooowly swung open silently. Joey was slightly disappointed; he'd been hoping for a creaky fence, just to set the mood, but Téa apparently wasn't picky about the details. "Come on!" she hissed, dragging him forward. "If I got talked into doing this by you, at least we're going to do it right. I'm not going to get squished by the gate."
Crouching parallel to the truck as it slowly passed the gate and continued down the winding driveway, Téa and Joey made it through the opening with plenty of time to spare. Joey, who had scouted the job out beforehand, grabbed Téa's hand and dragged her several feet down the fence, quickly cutting through a bit of open yard before arriving under the safety of a giant oak tree. They pressed their back to the bark, blending into the darkness, and waited with bated breath. It was needless, however; their entry into Kaiba's property had gone unnoticed. The truck arrived at the garage, and two men emerged. Téa watched as the truck was waved to the backyard, where they presumably began unloading its cargo.
"Did the two security guys leave?" Joey asked in a whisper.
"Yes. No one's around. Are we going to go now?" she breathed.
Joey leaned over her and peered around. "Yes. Now!" Once again, he yanked on her arm, and she nearly toppled over before regaining her balance and charging after him. They dashed across the grass, in plain view of anyone watching, and practically dove into the shrubs lining the actual Kaiba mansion.
And then they waited some more. Téa ran her fingers along the flowers they were hiding in. She was practically sitting on some giant orchard blossom she didn't recognize, and she shifted, trying not to crush it. Compared to what Joey was planning, that was probably the least of her worries, but the flowers were so beautiful she didn't want to do any unnecessary damage.
Joey was crouched behind an oversized lilac bush, with a very intent look on his face. His eyes scanned the grounds, and she could practically see his ears perked up, listening carefully.
She shifted, growing rapidly bored. They'd been doing nothing but waiting around for the last half-hour, save the mild trek from outside the gate to outside the house.
"Joey, how are you so calm?" she asked in an annoyed whisper. "You're the most impatient person I know! Why on earth can't you be this relaxed in school?"
He turned to her, giving the girl a wide grin. His white teeth shone in the darkness, giving Joey a decidedly evil appearance. "School doesn't reap such rich rewards," he said nonchalantly. "I'm preparing for the practical joke of a lifetime. I can be patient."
Téa groaned. "Well, I got dragged along on this crazy mission against my will! I can't be. Can we please just do the windows and go home?"
Joey stuck his tongue out. "It's your own fault, for betting against me. But fine- I don't think anyone saw us. We can start now."
And he took off his backpack and began removing the precious items stored inside, Téa let her head drop. She should have known better than to bet Joey he couldn't eat a given amount of food. "But ten hamburgers!" she whispered to herself. She measured them out with her hands, stacking them two-by-five. "They shouldn't even fit in your stomach!" she whined at Joey.
He patted his perfectly flat abdomen. "Food gets crushed when you eat it," he informed her superciliously. "Now, here ya go." He handed her a spray can. "This stuff washes off with water, so don't worry about any permanent damage to Moneybag's house. Decorate away." Taking his own advice, he crouched beneath the nearest window, and with concentration began drawing with the can of spray paint.
Téa hesitated. "Are you sure it comes off?" she asked.
"Come on, stop worrying!" Joey said happily, admiring his craftsmanship. "It's just dyed soap, I think. I'm positive it comes off with water. Tristan and me decorated my mom's car once."
Téa rolled her eyes. Hesitantly, she edged down to a second window, and carefully drew a smiley face on the glass. "Joey! Is this good?" she asked in a whisper.
He looked over. "Well, it's fine. It's just boring."
"What's fun?" she hissed back.
"This!" He beckoned her over. Téa reluctantly went to see what Joey had drawn- or rather, written.
Yugi's Number One Fan!
Téa muffled a snort. "Oh yeah, Kaiba will find that reeeeeal funny…"
"He'll blow a gasket," Joey grinned proudly. Téa sighed and rubbed her forehead, but she was beginning to get the hang of this. Together, they circled the Kaiba household, decorating a few window panes chosen at random. Joey switched colors back and forth, although Téa mostly stuck with blue.
I Love Pegasus!
Free Duel Monsters Cards!
Funny Bunny is my FRIEND!
I'm Second-Best!
"Are you sure we can't get arrested for this?" Téa asked in a whisper.
"Hey, I told you to stop worrying, remember?" Joey was trying to concentrate on his depiction of a Blue-Eyes Toon Dragon on the large sliding glass doors. "I'm sure."
"How are you sure?" she asked insistently. He didn't answer. "You're not sure, are you." She groaned. "I really don't want to get arrested, Joey…"
"Don't sweat it! You're with me, master pranker. We'll never be found."
"I can see my parents posting the bail already," she lamented softly.
"Aw, come on. You need to relax, Téa! Have some fun!" Joey handed her a roll of toilet paper.
Téa eyed it. "TP-ing Seto Kaiba's house is supposed to be relaxing and fun?"
"Sure is," Joey said cheerfully, sending his roll flying over the lilac bush. The paper fluttered like a banner, gently settling over the tall branches.
Téa sighed, but bowled her own roll over the shorter shrubs, covering them neatly. "You know, I thought you were supposed to be a master pranker," she said in a whisper. "This is fairly standard stuff."
"Hey! I haven't even gotten started yet," Joey said, acting hurt. "Have a little faith, Téa."
"Okay, then, what's next?" she inquired, arching an eyebrow.
Joey grinned. "Glad you're finally getting into it! I figured that the delivery truck would still be there for a good fifteen minutes, so we can get in while the security guy's attention is distracted-"
"Get in?" Téa squeaked, her throat suddenly dry. "Get in where?"
"Inside, of course," Joey said, giving her a 'duh' look.
"Inside the house?" Her voice was still high-pitched and there wasn't anything she could do about it. She was suddenly too terrified to care.
"No, inside the Eiffel Tower," Joey said, rolling his eyes. He checked his watch. "Whoa. We took longer on this than I planned. Come on." He grabbed her arm and made as if to drag her across the yard.
"Oh no. No, no, no." Téa shook her head and planted her feet firmly in the ground. "You have got to be kidding me. Joey, drawing with soap on the windows and TP-ing the yard is one thing. I am not breaking into Seto Kaiba's mansion. We really will get arrested." He stared at her, giving a pout. "No!" she said again, wrenching her wrist out of Joey's grasp.
"Oh, fine." He crossed his arms and sulked. "The only opportunity we'll ever get, probably, to sneak in there and mess around, and you won't take it!"
"It's illegal!" Téa practically shrieked.
"You're such a worrywart!" Joey crossed his arms and matched glares with her, but she had far more practice than him. Eventually, he dropped his eyes and sighed. "Geez, fine, fine. We'll just destroy the security tapes, and maybe switch some furniture around, but then we'll leave right away…"
He looked up, expecting her to be pleased that she'd gotten her way. Instead, Téa gaped at him, her face white as a sheet. "…security tapes?" she finally managed to gasp.
"You mean you didn't see the camera?" Joey asked innocently. "Right next to the gate. It might have only caught my sleeve while we were waiting, but it sure caught us running in. Plus…" he looked up, and Téa automatically followed. "There's probably one around here somewhere. I think it see it- over there." He pointed to the protruding box two stories above them. "But I figure, just like in stores or museums, they can't afford to keep the tapes of every single camera, every single night. It's gotta be digital. So we just go into the hard drive and switch around the dates, replace this night with tapes from a different night- say yesterday- and no one will ever know the difference!"
Téa gaped at him, momentarily speechless. "And you know how to do this?"
"Security systems usually come with easy labels," Joey assured her. He started to walk towards the truck, but Téa reached out and grabbed his shirt collar.
"And how exactly do you know this?" she hissed into his ear.
Joey looked sheepish. "I, ah, got a few pointers from Bakura…"
"Ryou Bakura?" She could hardly believe what she was hearing. "What does he know about security systems?"
"No, no… the other Bakura."
"His dark half?" Now she really couldn't believe what she was hearing. "But he's from five-thousand-years-ago Egypt!"
"True," Joey nodded. "But he's, ah, been in a few stores these days. You know what I mean?"
"Unfortunately," she muttered, letting him go and rubbing her eyes. "I wish I'd never agreed to this."
"Come on, you'll have more fun once we're inside!" Joey said enthusiastically.
Just as Joey predicted, the truck was backed up into an open garage. Unfortunately, the garage was lit up brilliantly, throwing light fifty feet outward. Téa and Joey exchanged uncomfortable looks. They could hardly waltz in, at this rate.
"Why did Mister Kaiba need these delivered at four in the morning?" one of the delivery men complained.
A security guard cleared his throat apologetically. "He said he needed them by this afternoon, and you weren't able to deliver during the day."
"We're getting paid overtime, at least," a second delivery man said, loading a huge box onto a platform and pushing it down the ramp and into the garage.
"How many left?" the first man called.
"A good half-dozen. There are some empty boxes in the back; don't mix those up."
"I won't- they'll feel empty!" the delivery man shot back. Everyone disappeared momentarily deep into the garage, their voices muted.
Joey didn't even bother to ask Téa "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" He just grabbed her hand and ran.
"Last one," the truck driver announced tiredly as he pushed the large box down the ramp and struggled to prop it carefully next to all the others. "Who's going to sign off?"
As one of the security guards took the clipboard and leaned on the box to fill out the required information, Téa felt the weight pressing upon her head. It was cramped in the box enough as it was. She was basically curled on top of Joey, squeezing her eyes shut out of nerves and trying her best to feel like computer equipment.
"Go back to bed," the security guard told his partner as the delivery men pulled out. The truck engine faded into the distance. "We can catch another two or three hours sleep and supervise the unpacking of these in the morning."
Téa suppressed the urge to cry out "Thank you!", because that would destroy the whole point. She clenched her fist triumphantly, then realized she was digging her nails into Joey's arm.
It took them far too long to shuffle out, but finally the faint light streaming through the cracks went out with a snap and the door banged shut. Immediately, Joey tried to stand up, sending Téa right through the top of the box. She fell heavily on the concrete floor. Damn Kaiba, she thought ruefully, stretching out her aching limbs. With all his money, you'd think he could pad his garage. Or something.
"Geez, you're heavy," Joey whined. Her eyes narrowed; he seemed to not realize she was near snapping point already. "And your shoes were digging into my ass," he added, rubbing said area. Téa felt her sneakers, and measured up the potential future damage she could do.
"Let's just get in," she sighed. Her eyes went to his backpack: "You still have that thing?"
"Of course! It's got all my stuff in it!" Joey grinned maliciously.
"I thought we agreed-" Téa broke off, shaking her head. I'm leaving as soon as we make sure those tapes are erased, she thought. Might as well let Joey have his fun.
They made their way through the dark garage, using Téa's tiny penlight to guide their way. Joey stopped her once they reached the door – "Take these," he whispered. She furrowed her brow as he handed her what looked like wadded-up plastic. She tried to smooth the object out, but it was actually two things, and one of the pieces fell on the floor.
"Latex gloves?" she moaned as she stooped to pick it up. "What on earth are you planning that we would need latex gloves for?"
"This way, we won't leave any fingerprints!" Joey explained, as if it were obvious. "Come on, get those on. I'll let us in."
He slooowly eased the door open… this was the most dangerous part. He didn't know what would be on the other side. For all he knew, it could lead to the kennel, where Kaiba kept his vicious attack dogs. Or to the room the security guards slept in. Or the main computer of the house, which would immediately recognize Joey as an intruder and shoot him with laser beams.
Thankfully, of course, it was none of those. The door led to a plush, if a little boring, living room. Joey stepped onto the carpet, his feet immediately sinking deep into the fibers. Téa squeezed into the room as well, easing the door closed behind her, and looking around in awe.
"Nice place," she whispered, her eyes traveling from the huge television set-up at one end to the luxury couches scattered across the other. She started to take a step forward, but looked down guiltily at her dirty feet. "Joey," she whispered.
"Mmm?" he mumbled back, distracted.
"We should take off our shoes," she said, poking him to get his attention back. He gave her a look that plainly said "Are you kidding me?"
"It's a white carpet," she hissed, gesturing down. "And we've done enough damage already!"
Joey sighed, but it was easier to give into her request and hope that she tried to repay the favor in the future. He quickly yanked off his sneakers, tying the laces together and stringing them around his neck. Téa merely held hers tightly. "Nice socks," Joey snickered.
She glanced down, then elbowed him in the side. "They're cute!" she protested, while Joey laughed. Her socks were light blue, with little yellow ducklings decorating the fabric. "Stop smirking," Téa said, nudging Joey. "Where's the control room?"
He shrugged, a smile still on his face. "I figured we would stumble upon it in the midst of exploring."
Téa literally bit her cheek to keep from groaning. "Joey, sometimes I'm amazed at how thoroughly you planned this out. Teachers would be thrilled if you showed this much focus and concentration in school. And then you go and say something like that!"
"That was planning!" he exclaimed indignantly.
This is my least-favorite of the four chapters. Also, I've been reading mostly Harry Potter fics, and I think I'm making Téa into a Hermione. ;) What can I say; I like them both.
--DarkShadowFlame--