Disclaimer: I still don't own jack.

WARNINGS: Major general OOCness, loads of CRACK, a lot of SLEEP DEPRIVATION, and more than a couple ISSUES. Oh, and a really really CRAPPY ENDING. There. You've been warned.

Metatron's Dream

Metatron awoke with a start.

"Kira, Michael! No!" Upon hearing the outburst, Sevotharte came rushing into the room in all his masked glory.

"Metatron! What happened? Did you have a vision?" Metatron nodded shakily, not trusting his voice to work. Sevotharte stared at him expectantly. "Well?"

"It...It..." Metatron took a deep, calming breath. "I can't tell you."

"What do you mean you can't tell me? You know as well as I that your visions are meant to prevent things from happening."

"Yes, but..." Metatron trailed off again, much to Sevotharte's displeasure. "If I told you, then it's going to come true and - and... that would be bad."

Sevotharte stared at him.

"That...would...be...bad. Seriously, Metatron, could you be any more childish?" Metatron remained silent in response and rolled over so that his back was to Sevotharte. Had it not been dignified for someone of Sevotharte's stature to throw his arms up in disgust, he would have done so. Instead, he settled for storming elegantly our of the room, leaving the boy to his secrets.

Later that day

Metatron was playing happily in his room with Mr. Rabbit when Raziel (who just kinda randomly appeared there for the purpose of this story) came bursting through the door.

"Lord Metatron! Please come quickly!"

Metatron stood and followed Raziel down what seemed like a million twisting corridors, which he could swear were not there the night before.

By the time they finally reached their destination, Metatron was considerably less than happy. Raziel had refused to answer any of his questions about where they were going and what was happening, which left the former in a very unpleasant mood indeed.

Raziel stopped so abruptly that Metatron collided with his back. Before he had the chance to apologize, Raziel spoke for the first time since barging into Metatron's room and interrupting his session with Mr. Rabbit.

"Now, Metatron, what you're going to see inside this room is probably a bit scarring, but Sevotharte seems to think you need to see it, okay?"

Metatron nodded, now curious as to what was behind that door. Raziel pushed it open gently to reveal...

Oh God. I don't think I can write this.

Really. I don't think I can.

As in seriously.

OK, OK, I'm getting there, I'm getting there. Just gimme a minute to compose myself, all right?

Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.

OK, I think I'm good. /mumbles/ (Since I've already magically castrated them anyways...)

Raziel pushed the door open to reveal...

Michael, the great Archangel of Fire and War, and Kira, the embodiment of Lucifer, the Fallen Angel, chasing after chickens. And not just any chickens, mind you. No, these were chickens that could only be caught through the use of pillowcases. So, to reiterate, Michael, the great Archangel of Fire and War, and Kira, the embodiment of Lucifer, the Fallen Angel, were chasing around chickens, holding pillowcases that were so long that they continuously tripped over them.

The room was filled with the sounds of excessive cursing and squawking, as the others just looked on in crazily entertained shock. Metatron saw Michael trip again over the edge of his pillowcase and fall flat on his face, nearly taking a chicken out under him.

Metatron thought he would die laughing.