She wasn't sure how she was supposed to answer or what she was supposed to say. He had at least admitted he was sorry. It had taken him long enough but he had done it. She wanted to scold him or be angry with him. However, her confusion was greater than any anger she could have felt at that moment. What did he mean it appeared David was in charge? Who else was there? Who was pulling the strings behind the puppets? It had to be someone powerful, someone even more menacing than David.

That thought alone gave her goosebumps. David was a force to be reckoned with and she couldn't really imagine anyone worse.

And beyond that, why couldn't Dwayne turn her now? Why couldn't he be the one?

And when the hell was she going to get the answers to all of her questions instead of just more cryptic messages and whispers behind her back?

"I don't understand," she said finally. She almost wanted to stomp her foot like a child to try and get her point across. Instead she settled for moving away from him a step and folding her arms across her chest. "Who else is there and why can't you turn me?" Her eyes searched his bronze face for any sign of something, some sort of emotion. But he was trained in hiding his emotions and everything seemed to be locked away by a stern pair of chocolate eyes.

"I can't tell you that," he responded immediately and she turned away from him in frustration.

"Then why tell me anything at all? You're just confusing me more. I can't stand this!" She threw her arms up as she began to pace. "I just want things to go back to being normal. I don't want to be treated like some criminal anymore. I can't even talk to any of you anymore without being afraid something I say will set off a chain reaction. I don't want to walk on egg shells anymore. I don't want David to look at me like I'm shit on the bottom of his boot! None of this is my fault!" She stopped to take a breath and noticed for the first time that a tear had escaped from the corner of her eye. She hastily wiped it away.

"I don't want to have to worry about you guys killing Sam. I don't want to worry about any of you hating me now. I'll do whatever it takes. I just want my life back!" She hated that she was begging but for the first time in a long time she was finally admitting to herself that she missed her old life. She almost wished she could turn back time and forget they were killers, forget they were creatures of the night.

"Please," she whispered again as she finally ceased her pacing and sank back into the bed. She didn't know if she could be a killer. She didn't know if she could live without the sun or cut all ties from with her younger brother.

But it didn't matter.

She would do anything to keep him safe. She would give up her own life, her own morals, and her own humanity if he could live a normal life. It would be worth it. Being stuck in this limbo was killing her. She didn't know what they would do with her. She hadn't talked to anyone about it. She had tried her best to act normal but the question was always burning inside of her. Would they make her like them? Would they kill her so she wouldn't have the chance to reveal their secret? Why hadn't they just decided already? The wait was killing her.

She snorted at the unintended pun and then tried to avoid Dwayne's eyes when he stepped closer.

"I don't want you to become like us just so you can save him." Dwayne's voice was rough, as if he was concealing his anger.

She couldn't find it in herself to care. "You haven't given me a choice. This is what secrets do to people. You kept this secret from me, all of you did. And now I have to deal with the consequences. Maybe if the four of you had really cared about me, you would have left me alone. You had to have known the risks when you started all of this."

She knew her words would wound him but she couldn't stop them from pouring from her lips. Another deep, dark thought she had been having over the past few days. They should have expected something like this would happen. She couldn't help but think about it. Maybe they really had only kept her around for amusement. She couldn't find any other explanation. If they really cared about her, they would have told her. It had been so long. It had been months. She had lived with them. Hadn't she proven time and time again that she could be trusted? That she cared about them? She had chosen them over her own twin brother on more than one occasion.

And they had repaid her with a slap in the face. But she couldn't rebel. She couldn't voice any of these thoughts because David had threatened to kill Sam.

They had turned it all back around on her as if it was her fault she had found out.

She realized that a part of her was being childish. Who cared whose fault it was now? It didn't matter. Now all that mattered was that her family wasn't harmed.

She hated the situation she had found herself in and she hated the all of the emotions flowing through her. She just wanted normal.

But, she tried to reason with herself, she was never going to get normal again. There was nothing normal about this situation. There was nothing normal about the four men that had become her second family. Even before she had found out they were vampires life wasn't normal.

"Just tell me what to do," she whispered to the air in front of her before she sat back on the bed and clasped her hands in front of her. "Maybe once I'm like you, all of you will start trusting me again. Maybe we can all be happy again and I can stop spending my days wondering which one of you will kill Sammy."

She finally chanced a look up a Dwayne but Dwayne had morphed into all four of the boys standing in front of her. She blushed at the idea of any of them really seeing her melt down but at least now they could get some kind of idea of how she was feeling if they still cared. Her heart fluttered in her chest as she took in each one of their expressions. She hated admitting that she now saw them as killers. But none of them had really given her a choice. Paul and Marko seemed to have been doing what they could to comfort her but even that only went so far.

Was that it? Were they distancing themselves from her because they knew that as one point they were going to have to kill her instead of turn her?

She wasn't sure why she hadn't considered the idea before. It was probably because she had never considered any of them capable of the deed, but now…

Her hear t began to beat wildly in her chest and she began to wring her hands together in her lap. Her gaze quickly darted between all of them, looking for some sort of signal of what was about to happen. The wait was killing her. It seemed as if none of them were going to say anything and she wasn't sure how to proceed. What could she say that wouldn't continue to ignite David's mistrust in her? And why did David think her wanting the truth was cause for mistrust anyway?

"Are you going to kill me?" She finally blurted out as a nervous, deep red blush spread over her chest and face. She looked down once the question was finally out. She didn't want to see the expressions on their faces. She knew they could all be experiencing varying emotions from disbelief to pure amusement at her stupid question. At this point, she wasn't so sure she meant too much to them to kill. And she couldn't stand the waiting.

"No," David finally answered after what seemed like a lifetime of agonizingly tense moments.

"Then why don't you just turn me? It's what you're waiting for, isn't it? You want to turn me so I have no choice but to stay quiet and not tell anyone. You don't trust me so you're going to force me to be like you!" At that moment she wished her mouth had a filter but it was too late to take any of it back now.

Once again a tense silence settled over them and Bekah held her breath as she looked up to David. His cold mask was still in place but there was something brewing in his eyes. It continued to brew until something like anger shown in the blue depths.

"I don't want you to end up like Star!" David finally snapped. Bekah took note of his clenched hands by his side and shied away from him a bit. At this point she wouldn't put it past him to strike out, but his words were telling a different story.

"She still hasn't fed," he continued and with each passing second his hands seemed to unclench. "She's still only a half-vampire. She doesn't belong in our world and she refuses to become a part of it. If we turn you, it will be because you want to be a part of us. It will be because you want to stay with us forever as a family, not because you don't want to die."

These words finally hit home and Bekah found herself staring at David curiously. So he didn't hate her? He didn't really mistrust? He only doubted her motives? True, he was right to doubt her motives but only because he was the one had threatened her family in the first place. He had been the one acting like he was going to kill her.

"So you guys seriously think I'm only staying here and haven't run for the hills yet because you think I don't want to die and I don't want you to kill Sammy?" She took her time to look at each of them again. While Paul and Marko looked nervous at the tense air of the conversation and the content, Dwayne and David held their cold exteriors.

"I mean, that's only part of it. I actually hoped I meant too much to you guys to kill. And yeah, the thought of any of you killing my younger brother is pretty scary but I really didn't think that would happen either since I don't plan on spilling your secret to anyone. So what reason would you have to kill him? I don't want to leave because I belong here. But at the same time, I can kind of understand where Star is coming from," she took a deep a breath. The admission that Star was even a little correct about anything made her queasy. "I'm sure it's not the easiest thing, you know…" she trailed off to see if she could think of a better way of saying it, but decided there really wasn't a better way. "To make your first kill, to kill someone. I know you guys do it to survive but…it's not supposed to be easy. I don't know if I can kill people to keep myself alive. The thought of it is repulsing but won't it be different when I turn anyway? I'm sure the hunger if overwhelming…"

She trailed off again as she truly began to think of how scary the thought was. And how unknown it all was to her.

"I told you, Bekah," Paul said lowly. "None of us started out as killers. We were just like you. We didn't have any family. We were alone, on our own, until we turned and found a family in each other. We want you to be a part of this family but only if you want to. You don't have to kill for fun. You don't even technically have to kill. You just need to feed and keep the secret. No one can know about us."

She hadn't thought of that before and she wanted to kiss Paul for even voicing the idea. She didn't really have to kill. She could just feed enough to get by! She was sure her face brightened at the idea because it was almost as if a small bit of tension that had been in the room had now lifted.

She could breathe a little easier and look at them all a little more head on. Sure, she admitted to herself, the four boys may be killers, but that didn't mean she had to be. And she was determined these four boys would be her family, completely, and that meant loving her family no matter what.