Disclaimer: If you don't know by now you can sue me, all you'll get is my exams, still interested?

Summary: AU Taito. Beaten and abused he did the only thing he could think of, he ran. But how can he ever learn to trust again after everything he's been through? Will his best friend be able to show him the meaning of friendship, or even love?

Warnings: TAITO! So Standard warnings apply there, Self-Mutilation, Abuse, Rape, Suicidal Thoughts, Swearing and all round Nastiness.

A/N: Important: I've been out of it for just under a year now and I've been through major shit, but I'm recovering (slowly, but still…) And I think a big part of that is down to the encouragement I've received from my friends and the MAJORITY of my reviewers, to you wonderful people who've supported me I thank you.

My Friends: Jim, Gemma, Hannah, Holly, Tony, Nat, Leonn, Simon, and Jeremy.

My Reviewers: Taiy-Chan, Largo-sensei, LonelyWalker, Jodi Crystal, tsuki, Kalander, smoondigiboy, phoenix, Michen, italianboy, Aeris Tsukiyono, Sesshy's Goth, Daray Cybele, Noroi-Inu, random ninja and annie. All the following chapters are dedicated to you.

P.S, I'm not sure if this chapter will make any sense, it's written in an unusual style and is kind of distanced compared to how I usually write, but it seemed somewhat appropriate.

The Deafening Silence

"Tai… I-I can't take this much longer. I don't want to die alone."

"I promise, I promise, you are not going to die. I won't let you." "It's okay… I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere, I'm here now." "I promise it's okay now."

"Don't leave Tai, please don't leave… I'm so scared… so damn scared."

&&&&&&

It was worse than he'd ever dreamed. Taichi hung his head, staring at the motionless hand he held. Yamato's mother stood on the other side of her son's bed her eyes as lifeless as the boy himself. Inside Tai knew he was the same, just as unresponsive and faded, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

"This is all your fault Tai! If you'd only listened to him, this wouldn't have happened! Some friend you are!"

"I never wanted this to happen! How can you think for one second that I WANTED THIS?" "This is so stupid! We shouldn't be fighting, we should be worrying about him!"

"You are so bloody insensitive Yagami!"

"Insensitive, how the fuck can I be insensitive compared to you?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You know exactly what it means!"

The door to the private room opened with a soft click. But neither of the two visitors registered it. Footsteps could be heard and a young woman entered the corner of Tai's vision.

"Miss Takaishi? The S.A.E would like to speak with you." The older woman stood up, glanced longingly at her son, before she followed the student nurse out. Tai reached out and brushed Yamato's hair away from his badly bruised face. The brunette closed his eyes, trying to escape the cold white walls that were his world now. A few minutes passed before the door opened again and footsteps once more approached the bed.

"Hey." Takeru whispered as he sat next to his brother, opposite Tai. "How're you doing?" Taichi shrugged, and the younger boy took in his friend's appearance.

Tai had changed, and not for the better. His hair was limp and dull, he was pale and his eyes held a lifeless dead quality. Tai was thin too, unhealthily so, and TK's sharp eyes were drawn to the plastic tag around the other boy's wrist. Tai had been omitted to hospital because he'd been so reckless, pushed himself beyond the limits of his body. And… and this wasn't supposed to have happened! TK tried not to think about anything too much; it just sent him into a downwards spiral of greater depression.

"How long has he been… asleep?"

"Three weeks now. Three whole weeks"

&&&&&& Flashback

The apartment was swarming with policemen, asking question after question after question until Tai couldn't remember what anyone else's voice sounded like. And it was always the same series of questions, evoking the same answers. Again, and again, and again. It was wearing on his nerves, they knew, they knew what was happening, what had happened. And yet they were just sitting there, asking him the same damn questions! Something inside of Tai snapped

"What the hell are you doing? I've already told you everything! You know! You can make it stop! But you don't give a shit do you! I know you think I don't know anything. But I'm doing to go out there and find my friend while you sit here on your fat fucking arses and leave him to die!" The brunette had risen to his feet in anger and now he started to walk forward. But exhaustion and blood loss had weakened him, and he staggered, grabbing hold of the wall for support. Fury chorused through his veins and the teen forced himself on. People were shouting at him, parents, sisters, police; but he kept going, dragging his feet forward through force of will. Enough was enough; Tai had let this get out of hand. It was Tai who had let all this happen. And it was going to stop. Now.

&&&&& End of Flashback

"It's too long, Tai. I miss him." TK's eyes started to fill with tears, but he held them back. He refused to cry in front of anyone now. He had to be strong for his brother. He just had to.

"I know. I miss him too." Tai turned his gaze back to Yamato's unconscious form. His heart heavy in his chest while everything else weighed on his mind. The myriad of tubes and machines connected to the blond seemed to have an almost predatory quality. Sitting there. Watching him. Their incessant noise never leaving his thoughts. He knew Yamato would hate them too, that he would try everything to get out of this dead place. The blond hated white, it was just so empty. So lifeless. Just like Yamato was now. And Tai's thoughts drove themselves round, and round, and round in a vicious cycle.

&&&&&&

It was empty here. Wherever here was. Nothing but the memories. Memories that had become everything. Forced to relive every moment. Knowing that they were at fault. That they had brought this punishment upon themselves. Knowing that they would die in this place. That all promises would come to nothing.

&&&&&&

Natsuko followed the nurse down a corridor, through a door labelled 'Staff only' and into a small room filled with large chairs. Sitting by a coffee table was another woman, in her late middle age, dressed in a nurse's prim outfit, her dark mousy hair pulled back in a bun. She nodded to the young nurse who turned around and left.

"Have a seat Miss Takaishi. I have something to discus with you." The blond sat down opposite the woman, a growing feeling of dread in her heart. "I am Dr. Miki Sucsasi, I'm the resident S.A.E. I've been working on your son's case and I wanted to talk to you face-to-face." There was a heavy silence, and Natsuko began to feel out of place, she shifted slightly in her seat, glancing back towards the door.

"I don't mean to be rude, but I don't want to be away from Matt for too long."

"Of course, I'm sorry. It's just difficult to find to the right words. The evidence is overwhelming, and I'm about 99 sure of what I'm about to tell you. But I can't know for sure without your son confirming it." Miki sighed, running a hand over her temples. "S.A.E stands for Sexual Assault Examiner. Your son has been raped, multiple times. I'm sorry, I truly am."

"No. No, you must be wrong. You, you can't be serious. No… not Matt, please, not him. Not my son." Natsuko buried her head in her hands, shaking badly. This was her fault, why hadn't she realised. He was her son. Yes, but you never treated him like a son. It was always Takeru this and Takeru this, you hardly ever paid attention to him and when you did you hurt him.

Miki turned away, fixing her eyes on the window. Never before had she seen anyone in such a state, and the emotional scars the boy would carry for the rest of his life… Only an inhuman monster could do this to someone. The darker woman stood up and made a couple of cups of coffee. I really should stop drinking this. She mused distractedly. Natsuko had broken down into hysterical tears, sobbing harshly. Miki walked back over and sat next to the crying mother, putting a hand on her shoulder, a pitiful attempt to comfort her. What do you say to someone in her situation? What could I possible do or say to make this better?

&&&&&&

Takeru closed his eyes, why had this happened? They weren't bad people, at least his brother certainly wasn't. Yamato so rarely did something for himself; it was always his friends that came first. But here they were; Yamato in a coma, almost dead. Taichi wasted, only half there, hospitalised himself. Takeru sinking further and further into his own pit of despair. All the others desperately hoping Yamato would pull through, feeling helpless and shattered. The young boy felt the now familiar sting of tears at the back of his eyes, he hastily wiped them away. I have to be strong. Squeezing his brother's hand Tk sighed sorrowfully. Come on Matt, we need you. Brother, please.

&&&&&&

In the place of nothingness. Where everything is white. A slender figure falls to their knees. They put their head in their hands. They start to cry. There is no escape from the memories here. Softly they whisper. The same thing over and over again.

"Please help me. Please, please help me." There is no answer. The silence is deafening. The memories start to close in once more.

&&&&&&

A/N: Well? I know, it sucks and it's a lot shorter than I would have liked but I'm still cramming for exams. (Oh woe is me). But I hope this is enough to tide you guys over until I can update again. Please leave a review on your way out, it would be much loved and appreciated. Tami.