HamHam Take Out
By: Cookys 'n' Creem
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Disclaimer: I don't own Hamtaro:hides a sob: or anything mentioned. :opens wallet and 9 moths fly out: I'm broke! Is anyone that owns something BROKE!
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Epilogue- What Happened Afterwards
----------------------------What Happened To Hamtaro?---------------------------
Hamtaro was put into the local hamster hospital (:cough: VET:cough:) after he was beaten severely by Oxnard. Many body slams gave Hamtaro a… flat lifestyle.
Hamtaro gives a weak thumbs up from his bed, which has lotsa machines hooked to him. He grins a toothless grin and is very, very, as in 2D flat. "NOW I'm not getting beaten up anymore…"
"WANNA BET, BUDDY BOY!" Oxnard yells, his fur crumpled and eyes mad.
"YYYYYAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
---------------------------What Happened To Maxwell?-----------------------------
Maxwell was put to trial on Wednesday the 31st of March with the honourable Judge… Anita Bath. Things didn't go well.
Maxwell is rolling on the ground, holding his stomach as he laughs uncontrollably. "OH MY GOD, THAT'S A BETTER NAME THAN ANDY OVER THERE! ANITA BATH! SAY YOUR NAME, CAUSE IT'S TRUE! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Judge Bath goes bright red with either anger or embarrassment. "WILL YOU SHUT HIM UP!"
Maxwell is soon put in a straight jacket. ":snicker: Anita… :snort: Bath…" He hides a laugh… badly. "HAHAHAHAHA!"
"ALRIGHT THEN! Let's read his rap sheet for the charges. Swearing in a PG story… teasing police officers name... illegal gambling every Wednesday…"
"WHICH I'M MISSING!"
"SHUT UP, DAMN IT! Where was I? Oh yeah. Teasing police officers tie… kicking backseat of police officers seat… public drunkenness… public STREAKING… public urination on a parade! JUST HOW SICK ARE YOU!"
Um… this might take a while. We'll get back to him soon.
-----------------------What Happened To Panda and Howdy?-------------------
Panda and Howdy were found singing karaoke at a… gay bar for some reason no one knows why. They woke up screaming. To find the 2 hamsters singing, go to the 'Bubblegum Goose' every Monday at 11pm.
------------------------------What Happened To Bijou?------------------------------
Bijou was seen at a very, very, VERY private hair salon to try and die her hair white again. And well… it didn't work.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! MY FUR IS ORANGE! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO YOU SON OF A :BEEP! I'LL :BEEP:ING KILL YOU! YOUR :BEEP:ING ASS IS MINE, BI:BEEP!" Bijou starts choking the hair dresser with an orange bottle in their hand. But the hairdresser, coincidently, is an orange from the last chapter.
"BUT…! ORANGE…! IS…! THE…! NEW…! WHITE…!" The orange gagged.
"MUST…! KILL…! STUPID…! SON OF A :BEEP:…! ORANGE…!"
Sources say she is apparently on the run as 'Mary Sowington' for orange peeling, juicing, de-pulping and drinking the orange.
-------------------------------What Happened To Boss?-----------------------------
Boss was shoved into the local mental hospital for a new disease called 'Pampered Hamster Syndrome' or PHS, which they discovered in him.
"PAMPERED HOUSE HAMSTERS! EVERYWHERE! I CAN'T BREATHE:takes in very long breath: STILL CAN'T BREATHE! LET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"
And that's all you can hear from his white cushiony room. Besides very badly sung nursery rhymes, which is so bad it can't be written on this page.
--------------------------What Happened To Oxnard?-------------------------------
Oxnard was found pummelling Hamtaro with the breakfast tray in his room, swearing in many different languages. He got to Italian when they stopped him.
"$&!" Oxnard screams and jumped on the hardwood floor. Which bounced up and down as well. Who knows how.
"GET HIM… :gasp, cough: OFFA MEEEEEEEEEEEE!"E wipes the coffee off. Wincing though. )floor. Which bounced up and down as well. Who knows how. $&!"n repidedly withan when they stopped him.
in many differnet ---------
--
After that they sent him to the Rehab clinic and chained him up, feeding him one carrot for breakfast, one for lunch and two for dinner.
"Come on, it's… a chocolate bar, yes that's all…" Doctor Ham says, holding a carrot to Oxnard's very shut mouth.
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Oxnard starts chomping on the carrot.
"Heh-heh… stupid, gullible fatties. They'll NEVER learn…" Thunder and lightning booms behind him as he laughs evilly and his hands were in the air in triumph. "MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
--------------------------What Happened To Maxwell? cont.-----------------------
It was about 1:30am as the trial neared to a close.
":yawn:" Judge Bath skulls another high caffeine coffee and reads the rest of the rap sheet. "Taking an old man's walking stick… whacking the old man repeatedly with the walking stick… crippling a little boy… laughing at the little boy and dumping him in a pile of mud… disguising as the pope…"
Maxwell laughs softly. "Oh yeah…"
"…And worst of all, LAUGHING AT MY NAME!" Judge Bath threw the rest of her coffee (10 hot fresh ones to be precise) at Maxwell. "I FOUND YOU GUILTY! GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTYYYYYYYYYY!"
Maxwell keeps down a scream and wipes the coffee off. Wincing though. He shrugs. "I'll be out by dinner time."
"I sentence you to life in prison, no bail! Bailiff, show to his cell and… FRIENDLY new cell mate!"
Maxwell is chucked into a dirty cell. A big, bulky guy with lots of tattoos and a piece of paper with 'CELLMATE' on the wall with daggers digging into hit and 'KILL! DESTROY!' written on the side.
Maxwell sweatdropped and laughed nervously. He smacked the guy on the back. "Hey, cell buddy!"
The prisoner glares at him and grunts. "You'll be DEAD by dinnertime, anyway."
"That's funny! Heh-heh…"
"THAT wasn't a joke." He points to a number of skeletons on the top bunk, apparently his former cell mates.
"Heh-heh…oh god, I'm screwed. Can you just give me the leathal injection or something? I'LL PAY YOU MONEY!"
"No, this is your punishment, so be glad it's not with THOSE guys." Chief Andy pointed to a bunch of guys waving and blowing kisses at Maxwell.
"We'll see YOU in the shower!"
Chief Andy leaned in and whispered. "I would suggest you don't drop the soap.
Maxwell was silent. Then the fireworks REALLY began. "LET ME OUT OF HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
He screamed for the rest of his life, and hopefully didn't drop the soap.
---------------------What Happened To Pashmina and Stan?--------------------
Pashmina and Stan where, as planned, married the following Friday. Everyone she told came, but only because they didn't want to get pounded to a bloody pulp by Pashmina.
A priest is saying the last words. "And do you, Lashkina…"
"PASHMINA, DUMB:BEEP!"
"Well, SOOOOO-RYYYYYYYY! Ahem. Yadda, yadda, yadda… PASHMINA, take Clan…"
"HIS NAME IS STANY!"
":muffling noises:"
"What Stany, dear?"
":muffled defeated sigh:"
Yes, Stan had a muzzle and a cloth around the muzzle on his face, and wearing a little hamster sized black straight jacket with the design of a tuxedo on it.
"Um… okay. Take Stany…"
":muffled greatly: My name is STAN, damn it!"
"To be your lawfully wedded husband in sickness and health, in the eyes of God, the guests and that hobo over there?" The priest points to a hobo trying to steal the cake.
"Heh-heh… I wasn't stealing nothin' I swear, man!" The hobo grabs out a chunk of the cake and runs off.
"YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!"
"And do you Stan, take Pashmina to be lawfully wedded wife in sickness and health, in the eyes of God, me, the guests and… well not the hobo anymore, but that guy looking through the window?"
A man outside the window runs off yelling. "I DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING!"
"…Okay, just the first three."
":muffled greatly: NONONONONONOOOOOOO! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LET ME OUT! SHE'S CRAZY, NNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Stan thrashes and protests… kind of.
"He said yes." Pashmina reassured.
"If anyone thinks these to should NOT be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace."
All the guests open there mouths, but from a nasty glare from Pashmina, quickly shut them again and furiously shook there heads.
":greatly muffled screaming: ME! I SAID NOOOOOOOOOO! I OBJECT! ME! LOOK, I'M OB-JECT-ING:BEEP: YA'!"
"Then I pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride… well, the husband, really."
Stan is trying to jump off the top alter bit by this time. But Pashmina grabs him and kisses him.
The guest weakly cheer. Another death glare. Enthusiastic cheering, loud whistling, clapping, whistling and words of encouragement.
Stan is gagging and twitching on the ground. ":muffled: GET ME MOUTH WASH! SOAP! LAUNDRY DETERGENT! ACID!"
And they lived happily ever after… well Pashmina did. Stan lived in utmost insanity and his own personal hell.
-----------------------------What Happened To Dexter?-----------------------------
Dexter was beaten up by many different cultures and races, especially French people because he bagged them first. He was put into a national hospital as dead, and then upgraded to the local as alive.
"I hate you all!" Dexter yells weakly.
"HE BAGGED US AGAIN! GET HIM!"
"OH:BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!"
----------------------What Happened To Everyone Else?--------------------------
Those lucky people where not harmed mentally or physically. Except Cappy who had a rematch with himself and nearly killed himself, but eh… no one cares. Good-bye!
The Big, Grand, Absolutely The LAST, End.
Mary-Anne: We apologise for this epilogue being so short. WE hope you will read Cookys 'n' Creem's other stories. BYEBYE! SO LONG! PEACE OUT! CIAO!………………….………Do I get a raise for promoting your stories now?
Ahem. I would like to thank the following people, even if they didn't really like it. They rock! A special shout out to the people who were with me from chapter one, they REALLY rock! That's all for now, BYE!
Thank You's In Order of Reviewing…
Dolphin Lover13
Stan The Ham-Ham
Crystalgurl101 (all the way!)
Wolfenheim
Ham-Kelly (all the way!)
April Chikatow (all the way!)
Chibi Sorceress (most of the way, not a couple of chapters.)
Elmo Rox!
Faunamon
OOO Gleh
I.a.m.bkawaii
Hyper On Redbull
sparkleshine101 (most of the way.)
Yayfulness
Michci-chanAKANumbuh34
…Rubber gurl?
Pink + Blue Rocks The World
Pathetic Reviewer
Keepin' It REAAAALL!
Jonathan The Ham-Ham
ReiHari (but signed as Pichu Bros. Fan)
Sparklegirl Sassy
katfish xX (but signed as… I can't remember. Sorry katfish!)
Kat the Kitty
SunflowerHamm
elidh14141414 (but signed as… I can't remember. Sorry elidh!)
dhfdgfjhf
Rebecca Simpson
Ringa ham
angel73
Satu-Suzu