Introspective little potholes in time.
He didn't really think of much, but his mind still worked, it still turned into a carrousel of thoughts that began to siphon out, turn into more solid ponderings, and in the end he sat somewhere remote, somewhere he felt safe, somewhere he could be alone, and he thought about his life.
His life had followed a pattern for the last seventy-odd years, for the time he had worked as an angel of death. There had been cases, there had been battles, there had been tears and pain and despair. All of that had changed all of a sudden, from one day to the next, and the beginning had been made with the appearance of one man: Muraki.
He smiled a little.
His bane, his tormentor, the man who had shattered shields and breezed through barricades, who had taken what he wanted from an immortal, very powerful being who had been unable to fight back.
Muraki had frozen him in his tracks, had paralyzed his mind, and he had used him for his purposes.
He had nearly been his death.
He had nearly killed himself because of that man.
But Muraki had also launched the first little pebble of change, the pebble that had kicked off an avalanche that was still continuing. He had pulled him out of a stupor, out of his structured life after death, and he had again and again taken a stab at his potential.
Tsuzuki Asato closed his eyes and sighed softly.
Maybe I should thank him, he thought darkly. Maybe I should just find out where he disappeared to and tell him how much good he did in the end, at least for me.
A mass-murdering psychopath without a conscience, without morals, without scruples- and he had given Tsuzuki his first look at what he could be. He had taunted him with his knowledge about Tsuzuki's past, about his genealogy, and he had made the shinigami think. Because of Muraki he had sought the confrontation with Enma, had wanted to know the truth about himself, and Enma had freed the darkness that was his innate power.
His powers had been triggered. He had been bonded and anchored to Touda. Because he had the four Gods as his shikigami, they had grown in power, had been able to stabilize GensouKai in the digital world, had taken control of the wormholes. Because he had twelve Divine Commanders, GensouKai had prospered.
And Tsuzuki Asato was the most important factor in the existence of their worlds.
He sighed.
Great.
He had never wanted to be special, but now he was even more so than before.
Tsuzuki raked a hand through his hair. I don't want to be special, he thought.
But there was nothing he could change about it.
There was a little shift inside him and he felt his other half come closer. The bond to one of the most dangerous shikigami was a miracle for Tsuzuki. He loved them all, all his twelve Divine Commanders, but only one had the power to counter-weigh what the shinigami had inherited from his demonic side.
Only one.
Touda.
The fire shikigami radiated a question and Tsuzuki smiled.
:I'm okay: he murmured.
Touda stroked over his presence, wrapped himself comfortingly around his soul, and Tsuzuki sank into the safety his friend represented.
The bond had only been the first step. Many more had followed and lately there had been so much, he had begun to think more about his role in all of this.
Enma-Daiou had unleashed the darkness with a plan. He always had plans.
But what plan? Why Tsuzuki? Only because he was half demon? Or because he had had a power in his lifetime that he now also possessed in his death?
Tsuzuki sighed softly.
Why was he thinking about this now? Maybe because things had culminated and he needed to straighten everything out. Maybe because his mind was catching up on his emotions. Maybe just because there was nothing else that kept him busy after the stress of the last days.
Tsuzuki had sought out one of the peaceful, remote places within GensouKai center. It was a little rough spot in the middle of a landscaped world. Rocks, gnarled trees, sand and wild flowers, dark green grass growing in patches among the rocky ground. He loved the dream realm for its quietness, for the way he could be alone here, that the shikigami knew when he didn't need companionship. No one had greeted him when he had come here, but Tsuzuki knew his twelve were very much aware of his presence.
There were soft steps, a little crackle of pebbles under heavy, booted feet, and Tsuzuki felt the presence of the one who was closer to him than anyone else could ever hope to be.
Touda sat down, a black form against the lighter background, golden eyes looking calmly at him.
Well, eleven knew when to leave him alone while the twelfth just had to scan the bond and find out when companionship was truly needed. After hours of contemplating his life and the revelations about his true importance, Touda had finally made the decision that Tsuzuki needed him in person, not just through a mind-bond.
"Touda?" Tsuzuki asked softly after a long while of mutual and comfortable silence.
"Yes?"
"Do you sometimes regret it?"
Dark brows dipped a little. "Regret what?"
Tsuzuki looked at his shikigami. "Becoming my shikigami."
"No," was the simple and immediate answer.
"You never had a choice."
"I had."
The shinigami frowned.
"When you walked into my prison cell I had a choice: be with you or stay in that cell. I chose to be with you."
"You didn't know me," Tsuzuki said softly. "You had no idea who your pledged your loyalty to. I could have been an abusive master. I could have been... weak. I sometimes wonder if you had only made the choice because it meant your freedom, but you weren't free even then. The visor..."
Touda reached over and touched the pale face, turning Tsuzuki's head to look him in the eyes.
"Asato," he said softly. "I knew you the moment you walked into that cell. My chains broke, my life came back. I felt you and I responded with such an intensity it broke through the stupor, the pain of my existence. I looked into your eyes and I knew it had to be you." He smiled tenderly and stroked over one cheek. "All they did to me couldn't make me revise my wishes. I wanted to be yours."
"Touda..." Tsuzuki stammered, feeling something inside of him shiver with warmth.
"We reflect each other, Asato. I know that now. We were made from the same darkness. We are so very much like the other, and still we're not completely alike. I need your innocence; I need your weaknesses. Just like you need mine."
Tsuzuki shivered more and Touda drew him close, embracing him gently.
:I needed you and still do: the fire serpent whispered. :You're not a burden:
Tsuzuki froze. "I..."
Touda chuckled. "I felt your emotions." He sat back and held the violet eyes. "You are what I want. You are what I need. I'll take all the good things and the bad things with it. And," Touda added softly, "I should be the one to ask for your acceptance. My pain has been yours too often. I hurt you."
Tsuzuki shook his head. "No. Don't apologize for that. It's okay," he stammered, shaking his head again. "It's okay..."
"But it's not. I don't want to cause you pain."
Tsuzuki rested his head against the broad, muscular shoulders and sighed. "We both had no choice, but I think you got the worst out of it," he murmured.
Touda stroked over his back. "I disagree. What we both got was only good. The drawbacks don't outnumber the wonderful times."
Tsuzuki was silent for a long time, just resting against the much stronger form, feeling the closeness, the warmth. Touda's chin lay against his head, his arms were around him, and Tsuzuki felt safe.
"Touda?" he asked after a while.
"Yes?"
"If we had met otherwise... would you have taken my challenge?"
Touda chuckled a little. "Would you have challenged me?"
Tsuzuki straightened, meeting the golden gaze. "I don't know. I mean, some of the challenges were accidental. Sohryu was the one who challenged me... Genbu... I didn't even know it was a challenge until it was over. At the time I had eleven shikigami. I don't think I would have challenged you."
Touda leaned forward, two fingers under Tsuzuki's chin, and placed a close-mouthed kiss on his master's lips. Tsuzuki felt light embarrassment color his cheeks.
"I would have been proud to be you shikigami, Tsuzuki Asato, with a challenge or without it. Even bound to you by the pardon, with the visor, I knew I would have been yours."
Tsuzuki smiled a little, sinking into Touda's embrace again.
"Now I'm not just someone with twelve shikigami any more," he murmured. "Now I'm the one whose life means also the life of GensouKai, Meifu, Hell and the world of the living. I don't want to be special, Touda."
"You were always special, Asato. To us, at least. You're special to Tatsumi, to Hisoka..." Strong hands caressed him. "To many people."
"But my life or death never meant such consequences." Tsuzuki drew a shuddering breath.
"None of us have any intention of letting you die, no matter what. I'll always do whatever is necessary to defend you." Touda hesitated and Tsuzuki felt old memories touch his shikigami, felt the link echo with them. Just once Touda had been ready to end his master's life. Just once.
"Not your fault," he soothed the fire serpent. :Back then neither of us knew. Now we do. I don't fault you for it. I wanted to die and you were following my orders.:
Touda tightened his hug briefly. :I would refuse to do so in the future: he murmured, voice rough.
Tsuzuki ran calming hands over the strong form. "I won't ask it of you ever again," he promised firmly.
Silence descended and Tsuzuki lay in the warm embrace, enjoyed the company despite the fact that he had come here to be alone, to think.
Moments like these were rare.
He smiled a little.
Yes, they were. Moments like being with his shikigami, just for the sense of comfort and not because there was a fight, a crisis or something wrong. Not all of them were touchy-feely, and many would claim Touda was one of those, but Tsuzuki knew otherwise. There was an attraction between them that ran deeper than love, was much more intimate than sex, and both knew it. There had been few opportunities to express this connection before the bond, but now, with the mind-link, the soul-bond, it had opened up possibilities.
Tsuzuki closed his eyes, feeling hard muscles relax under him, felt Touda's mind flow all around him like a protective, silky veil.
Moments like these were treasured.
:I might have to thank Muraki one day: he murmured sleepily.
Touda blinked. :You do?':
A lazy smile. :He initiated all of this. The pain and anger and hurt... all of those negative emotions, all that fear, it turned into this. Not all of it is good, but most of it. Because of him I went to Enma-Daiou and Enma released the darkness, which brought me you. And because of him I have Hisoka. We finally cleared your name and Sohryu has found his peace with history/ Tsuzuki smiled more. :He's much better at handling stress, he's more... relaxed. You two are friends again, too.:
Touda chuckled. :In a way:
:And you have Byakko. I'm so happy for the both of you:
The fire shikigami was silent for a while, then pressed a little kiss on Tsuzuki's tousled head. :Thank you:
° ° °
Terazuma glanced at the man at his side, taking in the sinewy form, utterly naked, lying like a great cat next to him. Those fascinating eyes were watching him, half-lidded, looking satisfied. Terazuma was breathing hard, his heart hammering in his chest, his body aching from the violent release in so many places... from several climaxes, actually. He closed his eyes, a soft moan escaping his lips as a strong, gentle hand stroked over his sweat-slick skin, drawing teasing patterns over his stomach.
"You're gonna be the death of me," he breathed.
"You're already dead," Sohryu rumbled and smiled.
Terazuma chuckled. "Details."
Warm lips descended on his, kissing him gently, languidly, and Terazuma reached up to bury his fingers into the mane of silky hair.
It felt so good. So incredibly good. Terazuma would never have thought that there was such a feeling, such total bliss that had nothing to do with the sex as such but the lessening tension inside him. The Black One was calm, quiet, sated.
The gentle strokes and caresses lulled him into a doze and he felt Sohryu's warmth next to him, holding him, kissing him. He must have drifted off because when he woke again it was already getting dark. He was wrapped up in the silky blankets and Sohryu sat next to him, still gloriously naked, the setting sun streaming through the open windows bathing him in a beautiful light.
Terazuma sat up and the shikigami looked at him, smiling.
"Awake?" he teased.
"You wore me out," he grumbled.
Sohryu drew a gentle hand over his cheek and kissed him. "I was planning to. How do you feel?"
"Tired, achy, but good."
The beautiful eyes lit up with satisfaction. "Good." Another kiss, this one longer. "I need to go. Briefing."
Terazuma knew that. His lover was still the representative of the Emperor and life in GensouKai went on, now more than ever. An incredible truth had been revealed and things would never be the same. Sohryu would have his hands full, now that the Gates were open once more and the shinigami knew what had almost happened to their shikigami friends and partners.
"I'll see you later," Sohryu promised as he rose, giving the shinigami a very nice view of the toned body.
"I'll be here," Terazuma answered.
And he would be.
° °°
In his lab in Meifu, Watari Yutaka fired up his computer and began his work on decoding the algorithm of the virus that had attacked and nearly killed Touda. He accessed his folder and stopped.
Watari stared at the empty folder.
"What the..." he murmured.
He quickly called up the search program and began to look for the missing file.
No result.
"Impossible!"
"What is?" a voice asked and he turned to meet Tatsumi's blue eyes.
"The virus is gone."
"Well, I hope so."
"No, I mean the copy of it I stored on a safe hard drive! It's gone!"
"The computer virus is gone? How?"
"I don't know!"
"Could you have deleted it?"
Watari gave him an outraged look. "No!"
Tatsumi held up his hands. "Easy, Taka. Does anyone have access to your computer?"
"No, it's password-guarded."
Watari turned to his machine and began typing away. Something scrolled up.
"See? No one accessed my terminal but me ever!"
Tatsumi frowned, then nodded slowly. "So...?"
"I'm looking into it, Seii, but I swear to you that I didn't delete it!"
The older shinigami squeezed his shoulder and smiled. "I believe you. Keep me updated."
A nod. "Of course."
Another squeeze and then Tatsumi was gone again.
°
It was well after office hours when Watari sat back in his chair and stared at the result from his ceaseless search into how the computer virus copy could have been erased.
"No way..." he whispered.
But the words said it all.
Authorized Internal Access'.
Someone with the correct codes had gotten into his files-- from the inside! Someone who could freely move inside the main computer, who didn't have to hack, who didn't have to circumvent security.
Someone with a clearance that overrode everyone else.
Watari switched off the computer, mind whirling.
Someone...
... who didn't want them to know where the virus had come from, where the deliberate attack on Touda had originated.
Someone in Meifu's upper hierarchy.
Watari left the lab like in a trance.
There was only one person he could think of, but it was in total contradiction to what he believed. Why destroy Touda after forcing the bond with Tsuzuki? Why use a computer virus? Why risk so much?
Because there was no evidence, the scientist in him answered. All you have is an authorized access to your files and that's no real proof. It could have been a system check... anything...
But Watari knew enough about the mother computer to exclude that. He knew a whole lot more than most people would ever do about the network inside Meifu.
Because once, a lifetime ago, he had been part of it.
He left the Judicial building, lost in thought, his feet taking him away from the towering building.
Why?
Why do this?
Why risk it all?
He had no answers to those questions, but he wouldn't stop digging. He wouldn't stop looking.
Something was going on here and it wasn't good.
fin
to be continued in Bete Noir and Phoenix