Disclaimer: Okay, Slayers is the property of Kadokawa Shoten.
This is more random silliness, only this time there's some lime content, so if you don't
like that kind of thing, this story isn't for you.
Kissing Booth
"Well, we finally made it," Amelia noted, collapsing face first and landing just
inside the city gates of the town of Antry.
Lina panted as she sat down and rested against one of the gate's pillars. "By the
way, who's short-cut idea was this again?"
Filia scratched her head as she read her guide map. "I still can't believe it took us
so long to make it only three inches…"
Zelgadis crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head. "Well, we're here,
but now what?"
"What do you mean, Zelgadis?" Gourry asked.
"In case you've forgotten," Zelgadis told him, "We used up the last of our funds
to buy Filia's map."
Filia took on a hurt expression. "Well, you all said it was a good idea! Miss Lina
said that we could always waylay some bandits for more money!"
Amelia sighed. "Yeah, who would've guessed that Antry is considered one of the
safest countries in the world for travelers?"
Lina growled and shook her fist at the city before them. "Damn you, Antry!
Damn your safe roads and bandit-free alleys!"
"So what do we do for money?" Amelia asked.
Gourry was busy reading a sign on one of the pillars. "Hey, look! The carnival is
in town!"
"Too bad we're broke," Lina growled.
"Perhaps we could make some money that way," Filia thought. "We could have
a booth or something."
"How?" Lina asked. "We have nothing to sell."
"Oh, now that's not really true." They all jumped, startled, as Xellos suddenly
appeared next to them. "After all," he grinned, "We have Miss Lina, Miss Amelia, and
Miss Filia…"
A mace, a fireball, and a fist with the word "DIE" in bright letters on it wielded
by three angry women were suddenly looming over the priest.
"And just what are you implying by *THAT*?!" Lina asked him acidly.
"Wait, don't kill him," Zelgadis asked. "This one sounds good."
Xellos continued to smile. "Well, it *is* a carnival. You have nothing else to
sell…So why not sell your kisses?"
"You're suggesting we kiss strange men for money?!" Filia gasped, her hand
going to her mouth.
Xellos suddenly appeared behind her, whispering in her ear. "Almost sounds like
prostitution, doesn't it?" he asked cruelly.
He disappeared just in time to avoid two swings of Filia's mace.
Gourry turned to Zelgadis. "What do you think?" Zelgadis shrugged as if to say,
"I've heard better."
Lina gave it some thought. Pure profit, they had no options, and it sure beat
sleeping in the street for a night. "What do you think, Amelia?" she asked.
"I can't kiss some strange men!" Amelia cried.
"It's not like it counts," Lina told her. "A guy gives you a ticket, and you give
him a quick peck."
"What do *you* think, Filia san?" Xellos leered.
"Well," Filia began uncomfortably. "I…I suppose…we have little choice."
"Okay, we're all set!" Lina said, walking back behind the tent. "The carnival
manager is giving us three booths. A ticket a kiss."
"Um…Miss Lina…" Amelia began nervously.
"Miss Inverse!"
Lina rolled her eyes at the sound of the man's voice. "That's him. I still have to
go work out a few things." She turned to Zelgadis and Gourry, who were resting against
the side of two crates. "You two come with me."
"Why? We're not working the kissing booth," Zelgadis pointed out.
"No, but you *are* building it!" Lina replied, thrusting a tool box into each of
their arms. "Now get to it!"
"Miss Lina," Amelia tried again.
"Amelia, I'll be right back. I promise." With that, Lina rushed off for more
negotiations, Gourry and Zelgadis right behind her.
The Seyruun princess sighed.
Filia saw this and blinked. "Miss Amelia? What is it?"
Amelia blushed. "Well, it's just that I've…well…Never kissed anyone before."
"I see."
"I'm not even sure how," Amelia confessed.
"Oh," Filia said with a slight blush. "Just…just relax and…"
"Oh, and since when are you an expert?" Xellos asked as he appeared next to the
dragon priestess.
Filia growled. "It's a woman thing," she bit out.
Xellos grinned. "Oh, please. I bet you didn't even see a real man until you left
the shrine."
She smiled. "You could say I'm *still* waiting to see a *real* man."
Xellos clapped a hand over his chest. "Wounded in the heart by your rapier wit!"
Filia tried to ignore him. Instead, she turned back to Amelia. "You have nothing
to worry about. Just relax."
"If you're so knowledgeable, why don't you demonstrate it for her?" the Mazoku
asked with a leer.
"Hmmph! And how would you suggest I do that?"
"Oh, would you, Miss Filia?!" Amelia asked. "Please?! Just so I have some idea
of what I'm doing!?"
The Ryuuzoku blinked in shock. "Wha…How am I supposed to demonstrate
something like that?!"
"You could always kiss her," Xellos pointed out.
Both women recoiled in disgust. "Forget it!" Filia cried.
"That's disgusting!" Amelia agreed.
"Well then, what do you suggest?" he asked.
Amelia thought for a moment. She looked up at the priest and Filia. "Would you
two…er…"
"FORGET IT!" they both cried in unison.
"Please?!" Amelia cried, clasping her hands in front of her.
"There's no way I'm going to kiss some disgusting Mazoku namagomi!" Filia
told her.
"Phfft!" Xellos blew between his lips. "You just don't know how!"
"I do so!"
"Oh? Were we a bad girl at the shrine?" he asked her with a grin.
"What do Mazoku know about kissing?!"
"Enough to be FABULOUS at it!"
Amelia watched the exchange curiously. She had always been fascinated by the
way they fight. If you looked at it from just the right perspective, it was like watching
Lina and Gourry fight.
"Puh-leeeeeeeaaaaaaaase?" she asked again. "I promise, I won't ask for anything
else!"
Xellos thought for a moment and grinned. "You have to promise not to make any
justice speeches for a month."
"A whole month?!"
"Wait a second!" Filia cried. "You're talking as if I've agreed to this!"
"Now, Filia san," Xellos began, "You wouldn't send poor, innocent Amelia out
there to learn from the hordes of hormonal young men, would you?"
The dragon priestess sighed. "Fine," she bit out. "Amelia, I'm going to go along
with this farce for your sake only one time, understand?" The princess nodded quickly
and settled in to watch. "Now," Filia began again, "You just relax…and kind
of…well…"
"Wait, Filia san, we're not in the proper position!" Xellos cried. He suddenly
grabbed the blonde and pulled her close. Filia let out a short, "eek!" and blushed. "Now
then…" he whispered, leaning forward.
She smacked him across the face. "Don't pucker up! You look like a goober!"
"Fine, fine," he growled. "Ready?"
She nodded. "Oh! Wait!"
"What now?"
Filia put her hands on his shoulders. "Okay…Like this…" She paused suddenly.
"Hands NORTH of the equator!" she scowled.
"You're no fun!" Xellos pouted. "Okay, ready now?"
"All right…"
Finally prepared, Xellos leaned forward until his lips were touching the golden
dragon's. Amelia gasped and smiled. She blinked as the two continued kissing.
"Um…guys?"
Xellos' arms wrapped around Filia as the dragon rose on her tip toes…
"Okay, that's enough," Amelia said, sweatdropping.
They ignored her.
"Okay! You guys are freaking me out now!"
Almost casually, the two separated. Xellos turned to Amelia and smiled. "See?
Nothing to it."
Filia nodded in agreement. "Just like that."
Amelia blinked in confusion. "Um…You guys…that was just acting, right?"
"Of course!" Filia said in indignation. "Do you think a pure being of light could
enjoy a kiss from such a creature!?"
"Phfft!" Xellos remarked. "I've gotten more of a thrill kissing a brick. Well, I'm
off. Ta ta!" He started to back away and tripped over his staff. Rising quickly and
blushing, he disappeared.
"Amelia!" Lina called. "Come on! Take a look at your booth!"
"Coming!" the princess called back. "Well…thank you, Miss Filia. I know that
must have been…uncomfortable."
Filia smiled. "It's okay, Amelia. Just try to have fun."
"Okay." With that, Amelia ran off to join Lina.
The dragon priestess took a few steps, then leaned against a crate and sighed, her
hand going to her heart.
"Okay, now remember," Lina reminded them, "One ticket per kiss. At the end of
the day, we'll trade them in for gold pieces and skip out of this burg rich!"
Filia was staring off into space, not really paying attention. Amelia, on the other
hand, raised her fist into the sky. "In the name of Justice eternal, I sacrifice my virgin
lips to…" She broke off suddenly.
Lina just blinked. "Amelia? Are you okay?"
"Um…Yeah, I just decided not to do a speech, that's all…"
"Well, in that case, let's get to it!"
The three booths were set up next to one another in a line. Before long, lines of
men had formed at all three. Men of all ages were waving tickets in exchange for quick
kisses from one of the three young ladies.
(This isn't so bad,) Lina thought, giving a teenage boy a kiss and taking his ticket.
She looked to her left and found that Filia had a good-size line going. Looking right…
Amelia had a line just as long as her own…
She blinked but dismissed the thought. The longer the line, the more money,
right? She looked over to where the guys were and saw that Gourry was drawing stick
figures in the dirt with the Sword of Light. Off to the side…
At least fifty young women were staring at the blonde man and giggling or
blushing or both. Lina blinked and grinned evilly. She put a sign that said, "Back in Five
Minutes," and rushed over to the swordsman.
"Gourry, come with me."
"Huh? Why?"
"Just get over here!"
Gourry shrugged and walked up to her. Lina grabbed his hand and pulled him to
an abandoned table. She shoved him into a chair and turned to the girls. "Attention,
ladies! Here before you is the famous Swordsman of Light! One ticket gets you one
kiss!"
"What?! You want me to kiss a bunch of strange women!?"
"Yeah, you got a problem with that?!"
"But…But…"
"Gourry, women are going to give you money to kiss them. It's every male's
fantasy!" She smacked him on the back of the head. "Now get kiss'n!"
"Fine! Jeez!" the blonde growled, rubbing his head. "Um…Next?" he asked. A
crowd of almost fifty women charged his table. "AUUUUGGGHHHH!!!"
Lina didn't notice that the mob of women had overrun poor Gourry. She was
heading to Amelia's table.
"Oi, Amelia. How's things here?" she asked.
"It's going great!" Amelia cried proudly. She held up a bunch of red tickets. "I
must have seventy tickets here!"
"That's wonderful," Lina said unenthusiastically.
"I probably even have more than you and Miss Filia combined!"
"Um…Let's not let this go to our heads now," Lina warned darkly.
Amelia blinked. "I was just saying that…."
"It doesn't really matter, Amelia," Lina told her.
The princess frowned. "Just because I'm better at this than you are doesn't mean
you have to jump all over me!"
"Better than me?!" Lina cried. "I was just coming over here to see if you needed
any help!"
Amelia sniffed. "Well, I don't! So why don't you go back to your own table?"
Lina balled her hands into fists. "Fine!" She turned and stalked off. (Imagine!
That…that little girl….a better kisser….THAN ME?!) She grit her teeth. (Well, we'll
just see who's better at the end of the day!) She sat at her table and took down the sign.
"NEXT!"
Amelia scowled. She was actually starting to enjoy this job, and Miss Lina had to
come by with her smug attitude and ruin it. (She's not the best at *everything*! No
matter what she thinks!)
"NEXT!"
Filia took another ticket from a smiling man and put it down in her small jar. This
wasn't so bad at all. The men here understood that the kissing at this booth was supposed
to be sweet and innocent. That meant no tongue…
Not like that damn Mazoku…
(Ugh, I almost choked on that thing,) she thought. (Then again…he almost
choked on mine…)
As if thinking it made him appear, Xellos suddenly stepped forward as the next in
line. She glared. "What are you doing here?"
Xellos grinned and held up a handful of what must have been a hundred tickets.
Filia's eye twitched. "You're not serious…"
"I paid my money," Xellos pouted.
The priestess smiled sweetly and said, "I'll be right back." She walked into the
tent behind her. Xellos listened as the sounds of arguing came floating back to the line.
Finally, someone was pushed from the tent behind Filia's table wearing a dress and a
wig.
Zelgadis sighed. "I hate my life."
The entire line sweatdropped. In a flash, Amelia and Lina's lines found
themselves longer, with only one man remaining at Filia's.
Xellos hmm'd. With one quick movement, he leapt into the air, bounced off the
top of Zelgadis' head, and launched himself through the tent's entrance.
Filia looked up in surprise. "What are you doing in here?! Get out!"
He grinned at her. "Now, now, Filia chan," he said coyly. "I paid good
goldpieces for those tickets."
"So?! Go to Amelia or Lina's booth if you're that desperate for a woman!"
The smile got wider. "But I don't want a woman. I want a dragon…"
"Hmmph! Then go somewhere else for one!" She crossed her arms over her
chest and stuck her nose in the air.
She turned suddenly to find Xellos a bare inch from her, grinning. "Come now,
Filia chan… After all we've shared together…"
"Wha…What are you talking about?!"
He took a step forward, forcing her to take one back. "I'm talking about our
special moment behind the tent…Or was that someone else's tongue in my mouth?"
"You filthy namagomi!" Filia spat. She swung her mace from its sheath on her
garter. Without even flinching, Xellos caught the shaft in his hand and grinned.
The dragon swallowed nervously. The priest took another step forward, and she
took one back. The back of her foot struck a short trunk, causing her to trip and fall on
her rear with a yelp. Before she could rise to her feet, Xellos was on top of her, the palm
of his hand striking the ground just left of her head and holding himself up over her,
allowing his body to pin her to the floor without actually touching her.
Filia began to sweat.
"Now, Filia chan," he whispered. "Surely you felt something during our brief
encounter."
"F..Felt something?" she stammered.
"That kiss," he reminded her. "Did it excite you?"
"Did it what?!"
"You know," he said, grinning down at her. "Excite you? Arouse you? Make
you hot? Turn you on? Flash your headlights? Bake your cake?"
She turned red and began to shake. "You wouldn't dare," she whispered.
"I'm a Mazoku," he told her with that grin she hated. "I live to dare."
Filia sweatdropped. "Um…That's the worst line I've ever heard in my life…"
The trickster priest paused, a sweatdrop forming on the back of his head.
Recovering quickly, he bent down until she could actually feel his cold breath on her
cheek. "Don't change the subject, little dragon," he chastised her. "I paid my money,
and I want my kisses."
She pushed against the ground with her feet and started to crawl backwards,
hoping to slink away. Xellos followed her until her head bumped up against another
trunk. No where else to run…
"End of the line, little dragon," Xellos smirked.
Filia began to panic, her breath coming in short gasps. "You'd…you'd really do
this? Against my will?"
"Against your will?" Xellos whispered his question. "What makes you think this
is against your will?" Filia gulped as he leaned down and whispered to her. "If you
really wanted to leave, you could have just teleported away…or changed into a dragon by
now…"
"What…what are you implying?"
His grin never faltered. "I'm implying that you *want* me to take you by force."
Filia began to shake. Was there a small bit of truth to what he said? After all, he
was right. She wasn't as weak and helpless as she was letting on. They both knew it.
She just hadn't realized it…
She jumped as she felt his hand on her leg, slowly raising the hem of her skirt.
She whimpered slightly as his cold hand moved farther up.
"Of course," he whispered, "If you don't want me to…I could just disappear…"
The dragon whimpered again. Why did this Mazoku namagomi take such
pleasure from tormenting her like this? She knew he knew what he was doing to her, and
here he was forcing her to decide and actually admit it.
Xellos, meanwhile, was having the time of his life. Filia's conflicting emotions
were like fine wine, something to be drawn out and savored. "Well, little dragon?" he
asked again. "Should I stay or go?" He moved his hand farther up, to the inside of her
thigh.
"S…Stay…" she whimpered in defeat.
"Are you certain?" he asked. "I could always leave if you like…"
"Why do you do that?" she asked quietly. "Why do you enjoy tormenting me?"
"Because you react so wonderfully, little dragon," he told her. "However, since
you have been so accommodating, I shan't torment you much longer."
Filia closed her eyes, her last shred of resistance gone. She wanted this. A part of
her had always wanted it. Ever since she had first noticed him staring at her those
months ago, forcing her to turn away before her blush could betray her.
She felt his hand move farther up her inner thigh…
Xellos smiled. He had been waiting for this day, and he was tired of waiting.
Finally, the innocent, virginal, stuck-up dragon was completely at his mercy, and even
better, *wanted* to be that way…
He moved his hand up and felt something…
Something that shouldn't have been there…
He blinked.
His eyes went wide…
Zelgadis turned and found Xellos running, screaming his head off, out of Filia's
tent. He stopped near a crate, hyperventilating, and pulled a flask out of his robes with a
shaking hand. He quickly drank the contents and continued to pant.
Filia stuck her head out of the tent, an irritated look on her face. "IT WAS JUST
MY TAIL! I WAS SITTING ON IT WRONG! SWEET CEPHEID, YOU MEN ARE
SUCH BABIES!!!"
Lina looked over at Amelia, who's line was still just as long as hers. The clock
was ticking, and there was only fifteen minutes before they had to close for the day. That
meant she had fifteen minutes to get more customers than the princess.
"Next!" she cried.
"Hi," the guy, a young, nice-looking man, said in a friendly manner.
"Gimme the ticket!" Lina told him.
"Well…" Before he could reply, Lina kissed him and snatched his ticket. Then
she gave him a push out of the way, allowing the next one in line to move up. She threw
a look at Amelia and found her rushing the line as well.
"Well, hey there, little lady," the next guy greeted her, holding up his ticket.
"My name's Jona."
"Yeah, that's great, gimme the ticket." She reached up to snatch the ticket away,
but Jona quickly pulled it back.
"Come on, girlie, what's your rush? Why don't we talk about dinner?"
"Because I don't want dinner," Lina bit out between clenched teeth. "I want to
kiss you. Now gimme that ticket."
She tried to grab it again, but he snatched it away from her hand a second time.
"Awww! Don't be such a tease," he pouted.
Lina looked over at Amelia's booth as Jona continued to drone on, trying to score
a date. Amelia kissed another guy and took his ticket…
"So how about it, sweets?" Jona asked with a leer.
Lina suddenly reached up and grabbed his collar. With one swift move, she
pulled his head down and smashed it into the table top, dazing the hapless carnival goer.
She then pulled him forward, kissed him, snatched his ticket out of his hand, and pushed
him away. Jona landed in a heap off to the side.
"NEXT!"
The next man handed her his ticket and approached warily…
Amelia kissed the man and took his ticket. "Thank you!" she said with a smile.
"And remember, Lina's a man. Tell your friends." She kissed the next customer and
took his ticket. "Thank you. Lina's a man. Tell your friends."
She looked over at Lina's table. (Darn! She's got such a long line…) She looked
to the other side and noticed that Filia was missing. Sitting in her chair was Zelgadis,
wearing a dress and wig and filing his nails.
He didn't have a line…
(I wonder where Miss Filia went…)
Zelgadis checked his nails again before he resumed filing them. Okay, he was in
a dress again, but at least it wasn't as bad as last time.
He looked over at Gourry's table and found the Swordsman of Light still being
mobbed by women waving tickets.
"Pheh!" Zelgadis commented in disgust. He turned just as someone slammed a
ticket on his table. "Oh crap…" he muttered.
Looking up, he saw a seven foot, barrel-chested man with a long, thick beard
staring down at him.
"Can I help you?" Zelgadis asked, his arms folded over his chest.
"Yeah. Here's my ticket. Where's my kiss?"
Zelgadis stared at him for a moment. "You're joking, right?"
"Look, lady, I don't have all day. I paid my money."
"Sure. Close your eyes." The walking mountain leaned down and closed his
eyes, puckering up. Zelgadis stood up…
And belted him right in the jaw.
The man went flying ten feet, landing on his back. He shook his head and looked
up at Zelgadis, who sat down again and started filing his nails.
"Damn, woman!" he shouted. "What are you doing after the carnival!?"
"One-sixty-seven, one-sixty-eight, one-sixty-nine, one-seventy!" Amelia
announced happily. Night had fallen, and everyone was gathered in the tent to count up
their tickets.
Lina looked up as she placed her last ticket on the table. "One-seventy," she said
quietly.
The two stared at each other.
"You mean we *tied*?!" Amelia asked in frank disbelief.
"This sucks!" Lina cried.
"I guess there is no winner."
"How did Miss Filia do?" the princess asked.
"Thirty," Filia told her quietly, looking out the tent flap as if searching for
someone.
"I got one," Zelgadis told them, holding up his ticket.
Lina and Amelia stared at him.
"No comment," Lina told him.
"Jeez," Amelia threw in.
"Well, I guess there is no winner," Lina said. "It was kind of stupid, anyway."
"Yeah," Amelia agreed sheepishly. They both broke off and blinked as they
heard Gourry speaking from his own corner of the tent.
"Two-fifty-four, two-fifty-five, two-fifty-six!" He looked up at them and grinned.
"Oi, Lina! Check it out! How much gold do we get for two hundred and fifty six
tickets?!"
The two sorceresses glared at him.
"What?"
"You kissed two hundred and fifty six women?" Lina asked, her eye twitching in
annoyance.
"No," Gourry told her. "I kissed fifty women five times apiece."
Lina began to grind her teeth…
"I had to!" he cried defensively. "I wanted to stop, but they kept throwing tickets
at me!"
The redhead's fists clenched…
"FIREBALL!!!"
(You realize, of course, you probably blew your only chance…)
Xellos sighed as he stared at Filia's window from his perch in a nearby tree.
After the party had gathered up all the tickets Lina's fireball hadn't destroyed, they had
traded them in for their gold and moved into an inn for the night. Xellos has followed
from a safe distance and was now sitting on a branch outside of the dragon priestess'
darkened window.
(Okay, I had a little…incident…but that doesn't mean we both didn't feel
something…I'm sure she felt the same pent up passion and lust as I did…maybe even
one of those disgusting love emotions Amelia is always going on about too…)
It didn't matter. After today, he'd never get another perfect chance like that…
He sensed something whistling towards his head, and instinct took over. He
didn't have the split second he needed to concentrate enough to teleport away, so he took
another escape route…
He fell.
Like a brick.
It was a good thing he did, as half a second later a large, iron mace struck the tree
trunk where he had been resting his head. Of course, now he had another problem…
That whole falling two stories to the ground thing.
He hit the ground on his back with a grunt. The mace landed only an inch from
his head. He started to rise, but before he could, someone was on top of him.
"The tables are turned now, aren't they, little demon?"
Xellos tried to blink the daze out of his eyes. "Filia san?"
The blonde had straddled him and was staring down at him like a falcon would
stare at a snake.
"Er…" Xellos began. "Filia san…Are you okay?"
"You started something this afternoon that you neglected to finish," she told him
seriously. "Now I find you slinking around my room in the middle of the night…"
"Um…Well…About that…"
"Where are your tickets?" she asked.
"My tickets?" he asked, a sweatdrop forming on the side of his head.
He felt her reach into his cloak pocket and remove the collection of red carnival
tickets. "So many tickets," she commented.
"Er…"
She tore one off of the paper chain, then bent down and clamped her lips over his.
The Mazoku felt the priestess' warm tongue enter his mouth and found himself
reciprocating. After what felt like several minutes, she pulled away.
"One," she counted.
Xellos blinked in shock as he watched her pull another ticket from the chain. She
leaned down again and kissed him a second time.
"Two…"
He didn't know what to say.
"How does it feel?" she asked. "To not be the one in control for once?"
He didn't answer her. She tore off another ticket.
"You know," he began. "I think I'm lying on a pine cone…"
Filia looked down at him and blinked.
"I would sure appreciate it, if we could continue this somewhere more
comfortable…"
"Why should I trust you and let you up?" Filia asked skeptically.
He smiled. "Because if I wanted to escape, I could anyway."
She didn't answer.
"What are you going to do now, little dragon?" he asked her.
She thought for a moment and smiled. "Sore wa himitsu desu," she whispered,
then bent down and kissed him again. "Three…"
Please review or send flames to Davner. [email protected]
Thanks for reading. ^_^ \/
This is more random silliness, only this time there's some lime content, so if you don't
like that kind of thing, this story isn't for you.
Kissing Booth
"Well, we finally made it," Amelia noted, collapsing face first and landing just
inside the city gates of the town of Antry.
Lina panted as she sat down and rested against one of the gate's pillars. "By the
way, who's short-cut idea was this again?"
Filia scratched her head as she read her guide map. "I still can't believe it took us
so long to make it only three inches…"
Zelgadis crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head. "Well, we're here,
but now what?"
"What do you mean, Zelgadis?" Gourry asked.
"In case you've forgotten," Zelgadis told him, "We used up the last of our funds
to buy Filia's map."
Filia took on a hurt expression. "Well, you all said it was a good idea! Miss Lina
said that we could always waylay some bandits for more money!"
Amelia sighed. "Yeah, who would've guessed that Antry is considered one of the
safest countries in the world for travelers?"
Lina growled and shook her fist at the city before them. "Damn you, Antry!
Damn your safe roads and bandit-free alleys!"
"So what do we do for money?" Amelia asked.
Gourry was busy reading a sign on one of the pillars. "Hey, look! The carnival is
in town!"
"Too bad we're broke," Lina growled.
"Perhaps we could make some money that way," Filia thought. "We could have
a booth or something."
"How?" Lina asked. "We have nothing to sell."
"Oh, now that's not really true." They all jumped, startled, as Xellos suddenly
appeared next to them. "After all," he grinned, "We have Miss Lina, Miss Amelia, and
Miss Filia…"
A mace, a fireball, and a fist with the word "DIE" in bright letters on it wielded
by three angry women were suddenly looming over the priest.
"And just what are you implying by *THAT*?!" Lina asked him acidly.
"Wait, don't kill him," Zelgadis asked. "This one sounds good."
Xellos continued to smile. "Well, it *is* a carnival. You have nothing else to
sell…So why not sell your kisses?"
"You're suggesting we kiss strange men for money?!" Filia gasped, her hand
going to her mouth.
Xellos suddenly appeared behind her, whispering in her ear. "Almost sounds like
prostitution, doesn't it?" he asked cruelly.
He disappeared just in time to avoid two swings of Filia's mace.
Gourry turned to Zelgadis. "What do you think?" Zelgadis shrugged as if to say,
"I've heard better."
Lina gave it some thought. Pure profit, they had no options, and it sure beat
sleeping in the street for a night. "What do you think, Amelia?" she asked.
"I can't kiss some strange men!" Amelia cried.
"It's not like it counts," Lina told her. "A guy gives you a ticket, and you give
him a quick peck."
"What do *you* think, Filia san?" Xellos leered.
"Well," Filia began uncomfortably. "I…I suppose…we have little choice."
"Okay, we're all set!" Lina said, walking back behind the tent. "The carnival
manager is giving us three booths. A ticket a kiss."
"Um…Miss Lina…" Amelia began nervously.
"Miss Inverse!"
Lina rolled her eyes at the sound of the man's voice. "That's him. I still have to
go work out a few things." She turned to Zelgadis and Gourry, who were resting against
the side of two crates. "You two come with me."
"Why? We're not working the kissing booth," Zelgadis pointed out.
"No, but you *are* building it!" Lina replied, thrusting a tool box into each of
their arms. "Now get to it!"
"Miss Lina," Amelia tried again.
"Amelia, I'll be right back. I promise." With that, Lina rushed off for more
negotiations, Gourry and Zelgadis right behind her.
The Seyruun princess sighed.
Filia saw this and blinked. "Miss Amelia? What is it?"
Amelia blushed. "Well, it's just that I've…well…Never kissed anyone before."
"I see."
"I'm not even sure how," Amelia confessed.
"Oh," Filia said with a slight blush. "Just…just relax and…"
"Oh, and since when are you an expert?" Xellos asked as he appeared next to the
dragon priestess.
Filia growled. "It's a woman thing," she bit out.
Xellos grinned. "Oh, please. I bet you didn't even see a real man until you left
the shrine."
She smiled. "You could say I'm *still* waiting to see a *real* man."
Xellos clapped a hand over his chest. "Wounded in the heart by your rapier wit!"
Filia tried to ignore him. Instead, she turned back to Amelia. "You have nothing
to worry about. Just relax."
"If you're so knowledgeable, why don't you demonstrate it for her?" the Mazoku
asked with a leer.
"Hmmph! And how would you suggest I do that?"
"Oh, would you, Miss Filia?!" Amelia asked. "Please?! Just so I have some idea
of what I'm doing!?"
The Ryuuzoku blinked in shock. "Wha…How am I supposed to demonstrate
something like that?!"
"You could always kiss her," Xellos pointed out.
Both women recoiled in disgust. "Forget it!" Filia cried.
"That's disgusting!" Amelia agreed.
"Well then, what do you suggest?" he asked.
Amelia thought for a moment. She looked up at the priest and Filia. "Would you
two…er…"
"FORGET IT!" they both cried in unison.
"Please?!" Amelia cried, clasping her hands in front of her.
"There's no way I'm going to kiss some disgusting Mazoku namagomi!" Filia
told her.
"Phfft!" Xellos blew between his lips. "You just don't know how!"
"I do so!"
"Oh? Were we a bad girl at the shrine?" he asked her with a grin.
"What do Mazoku know about kissing?!"
"Enough to be FABULOUS at it!"
Amelia watched the exchange curiously. She had always been fascinated by the
way they fight. If you looked at it from just the right perspective, it was like watching
Lina and Gourry fight.
"Puh-leeeeeeeaaaaaaaase?" she asked again. "I promise, I won't ask for anything
else!"
Xellos thought for a moment and grinned. "You have to promise not to make any
justice speeches for a month."
"A whole month?!"
"Wait a second!" Filia cried. "You're talking as if I've agreed to this!"
"Now, Filia san," Xellos began, "You wouldn't send poor, innocent Amelia out
there to learn from the hordes of hormonal young men, would you?"
The dragon priestess sighed. "Fine," she bit out. "Amelia, I'm going to go along
with this farce for your sake only one time, understand?" The princess nodded quickly
and settled in to watch. "Now," Filia began again, "You just relax…and kind
of…well…"
"Wait, Filia san, we're not in the proper position!" Xellos cried. He suddenly
grabbed the blonde and pulled her close. Filia let out a short, "eek!" and blushed. "Now
then…" he whispered, leaning forward.
She smacked him across the face. "Don't pucker up! You look like a goober!"
"Fine, fine," he growled. "Ready?"
She nodded. "Oh! Wait!"
"What now?"
Filia put her hands on his shoulders. "Okay…Like this…" She paused suddenly.
"Hands NORTH of the equator!" she scowled.
"You're no fun!" Xellos pouted. "Okay, ready now?"
"All right…"
Finally prepared, Xellos leaned forward until his lips were touching the golden
dragon's. Amelia gasped and smiled. She blinked as the two continued kissing.
"Um…guys?"
Xellos' arms wrapped around Filia as the dragon rose on her tip toes…
"Okay, that's enough," Amelia said, sweatdropping.
They ignored her.
"Okay! You guys are freaking me out now!"
Almost casually, the two separated. Xellos turned to Amelia and smiled. "See?
Nothing to it."
Filia nodded in agreement. "Just like that."
Amelia blinked in confusion. "Um…You guys…that was just acting, right?"
"Of course!" Filia said in indignation. "Do you think a pure being of light could
enjoy a kiss from such a creature!?"
"Phfft!" Xellos remarked. "I've gotten more of a thrill kissing a brick. Well, I'm
off. Ta ta!" He started to back away and tripped over his staff. Rising quickly and
blushing, he disappeared.
"Amelia!" Lina called. "Come on! Take a look at your booth!"
"Coming!" the princess called back. "Well…thank you, Miss Filia. I know that
must have been…uncomfortable."
Filia smiled. "It's okay, Amelia. Just try to have fun."
"Okay." With that, Amelia ran off to join Lina.
The dragon priestess took a few steps, then leaned against a crate and sighed, her
hand going to her heart.
"Okay, now remember," Lina reminded them, "One ticket per kiss. At the end of
the day, we'll trade them in for gold pieces and skip out of this burg rich!"
Filia was staring off into space, not really paying attention. Amelia, on the other
hand, raised her fist into the sky. "In the name of Justice eternal, I sacrifice my virgin
lips to…" She broke off suddenly.
Lina just blinked. "Amelia? Are you okay?"
"Um…Yeah, I just decided not to do a speech, that's all…"
"Well, in that case, let's get to it!"
The three booths were set up next to one another in a line. Before long, lines of
men had formed at all three. Men of all ages were waving tickets in exchange for quick
kisses from one of the three young ladies.
(This isn't so bad,) Lina thought, giving a teenage boy a kiss and taking his ticket.
She looked to her left and found that Filia had a good-size line going. Looking right…
Amelia had a line just as long as her own…
She blinked but dismissed the thought. The longer the line, the more money,
right? She looked over to where the guys were and saw that Gourry was drawing stick
figures in the dirt with the Sword of Light. Off to the side…
At least fifty young women were staring at the blonde man and giggling or
blushing or both. Lina blinked and grinned evilly. She put a sign that said, "Back in Five
Minutes," and rushed over to the swordsman.
"Gourry, come with me."
"Huh? Why?"
"Just get over here!"
Gourry shrugged and walked up to her. Lina grabbed his hand and pulled him to
an abandoned table. She shoved him into a chair and turned to the girls. "Attention,
ladies! Here before you is the famous Swordsman of Light! One ticket gets you one
kiss!"
"What?! You want me to kiss a bunch of strange women!?"
"Yeah, you got a problem with that?!"
"But…But…"
"Gourry, women are going to give you money to kiss them. It's every male's
fantasy!" She smacked him on the back of the head. "Now get kiss'n!"
"Fine! Jeez!" the blonde growled, rubbing his head. "Um…Next?" he asked. A
crowd of almost fifty women charged his table. "AUUUUGGGHHHH!!!"
Lina didn't notice that the mob of women had overrun poor Gourry. She was
heading to Amelia's table.
"Oi, Amelia. How's things here?" she asked.
"It's going great!" Amelia cried proudly. She held up a bunch of red tickets. "I
must have seventy tickets here!"
"That's wonderful," Lina said unenthusiastically.
"I probably even have more than you and Miss Filia combined!"
"Um…Let's not let this go to our heads now," Lina warned darkly.
Amelia blinked. "I was just saying that…."
"It doesn't really matter, Amelia," Lina told her.
The princess frowned. "Just because I'm better at this than you are doesn't mean
you have to jump all over me!"
"Better than me?!" Lina cried. "I was just coming over here to see if you needed
any help!"
Amelia sniffed. "Well, I don't! So why don't you go back to your own table?"
Lina balled her hands into fists. "Fine!" She turned and stalked off. (Imagine!
That…that little girl….a better kisser….THAN ME?!) She grit her teeth. (Well, we'll
just see who's better at the end of the day!) She sat at her table and took down the sign.
"NEXT!"
Amelia scowled. She was actually starting to enjoy this job, and Miss Lina had to
come by with her smug attitude and ruin it. (She's not the best at *everything*! No
matter what she thinks!)
"NEXT!"
Filia took another ticket from a smiling man and put it down in her small jar. This
wasn't so bad at all. The men here understood that the kissing at this booth was supposed
to be sweet and innocent. That meant no tongue…
Not like that damn Mazoku…
(Ugh, I almost choked on that thing,) she thought. (Then again…he almost
choked on mine…)
As if thinking it made him appear, Xellos suddenly stepped forward as the next in
line. She glared. "What are you doing here?"
Xellos grinned and held up a handful of what must have been a hundred tickets.
Filia's eye twitched. "You're not serious…"
"I paid my money," Xellos pouted.
The priestess smiled sweetly and said, "I'll be right back." She walked into the
tent behind her. Xellos listened as the sounds of arguing came floating back to the line.
Finally, someone was pushed from the tent behind Filia's table wearing a dress and a
wig.
Zelgadis sighed. "I hate my life."
The entire line sweatdropped. In a flash, Amelia and Lina's lines found
themselves longer, with only one man remaining at Filia's.
Xellos hmm'd. With one quick movement, he leapt into the air, bounced off the
top of Zelgadis' head, and launched himself through the tent's entrance.
Filia looked up in surprise. "What are you doing in here?! Get out!"
He grinned at her. "Now, now, Filia chan," he said coyly. "I paid good
goldpieces for those tickets."
"So?! Go to Amelia or Lina's booth if you're that desperate for a woman!"
The smile got wider. "But I don't want a woman. I want a dragon…"
"Hmmph! Then go somewhere else for one!" She crossed her arms over her
chest and stuck her nose in the air.
She turned suddenly to find Xellos a bare inch from her, grinning. "Come now,
Filia chan… After all we've shared together…"
"Wha…What are you talking about?!"
He took a step forward, forcing her to take one back. "I'm talking about our
special moment behind the tent…Or was that someone else's tongue in my mouth?"
"You filthy namagomi!" Filia spat. She swung her mace from its sheath on her
garter. Without even flinching, Xellos caught the shaft in his hand and grinned.
The dragon swallowed nervously. The priest took another step forward, and she
took one back. The back of her foot struck a short trunk, causing her to trip and fall on
her rear with a yelp. Before she could rise to her feet, Xellos was on top of her, the palm
of his hand striking the ground just left of her head and holding himself up over her,
allowing his body to pin her to the floor without actually touching her.
Filia began to sweat.
"Now, Filia chan," he whispered. "Surely you felt something during our brief
encounter."
"F..Felt something?" she stammered.
"That kiss," he reminded her. "Did it excite you?"
"Did it what?!"
"You know," he said, grinning down at her. "Excite you? Arouse you? Make
you hot? Turn you on? Flash your headlights? Bake your cake?"
She turned red and began to shake. "You wouldn't dare," she whispered.
"I'm a Mazoku," he told her with that grin she hated. "I live to dare."
Filia sweatdropped. "Um…That's the worst line I've ever heard in my life…"
The trickster priest paused, a sweatdrop forming on the back of his head.
Recovering quickly, he bent down until she could actually feel his cold breath on her
cheek. "Don't change the subject, little dragon," he chastised her. "I paid my money,
and I want my kisses."
She pushed against the ground with her feet and started to crawl backwards,
hoping to slink away. Xellos followed her until her head bumped up against another
trunk. No where else to run…
"End of the line, little dragon," Xellos smirked.
Filia began to panic, her breath coming in short gasps. "You'd…you'd really do
this? Against my will?"
"Against your will?" Xellos whispered his question. "What makes you think this
is against your will?" Filia gulped as he leaned down and whispered to her. "If you
really wanted to leave, you could have just teleported away…or changed into a dragon by
now…"
"What…what are you implying?"
His grin never faltered. "I'm implying that you *want* me to take you by force."
Filia began to shake. Was there a small bit of truth to what he said? After all, he
was right. She wasn't as weak and helpless as she was letting on. They both knew it.
She just hadn't realized it…
She jumped as she felt his hand on her leg, slowly raising the hem of her skirt.
She whimpered slightly as his cold hand moved farther up.
"Of course," he whispered, "If you don't want me to…I could just disappear…"
The dragon whimpered again. Why did this Mazoku namagomi take such
pleasure from tormenting her like this? She knew he knew what he was doing to her, and
here he was forcing her to decide and actually admit it.
Xellos, meanwhile, was having the time of his life. Filia's conflicting emotions
were like fine wine, something to be drawn out and savored. "Well, little dragon?" he
asked again. "Should I stay or go?" He moved his hand farther up, to the inside of her
thigh.
"S…Stay…" she whimpered in defeat.
"Are you certain?" he asked. "I could always leave if you like…"
"Why do you do that?" she asked quietly. "Why do you enjoy tormenting me?"
"Because you react so wonderfully, little dragon," he told her. "However, since
you have been so accommodating, I shan't torment you much longer."
Filia closed her eyes, her last shred of resistance gone. She wanted this. A part of
her had always wanted it. Ever since she had first noticed him staring at her those
months ago, forcing her to turn away before her blush could betray her.
She felt his hand move farther up her inner thigh…
Xellos smiled. He had been waiting for this day, and he was tired of waiting.
Finally, the innocent, virginal, stuck-up dragon was completely at his mercy, and even
better, *wanted* to be that way…
He moved his hand up and felt something…
Something that shouldn't have been there…
He blinked.
His eyes went wide…
Zelgadis turned and found Xellos running, screaming his head off, out of Filia's
tent. He stopped near a crate, hyperventilating, and pulled a flask out of his robes with a
shaking hand. He quickly drank the contents and continued to pant.
Filia stuck her head out of the tent, an irritated look on her face. "IT WAS JUST
MY TAIL! I WAS SITTING ON IT WRONG! SWEET CEPHEID, YOU MEN ARE
SUCH BABIES!!!"
Lina looked over at Amelia, who's line was still just as long as hers. The clock
was ticking, and there was only fifteen minutes before they had to close for the day. That
meant she had fifteen minutes to get more customers than the princess.
"Next!" she cried.
"Hi," the guy, a young, nice-looking man, said in a friendly manner.
"Gimme the ticket!" Lina told him.
"Well…" Before he could reply, Lina kissed him and snatched his ticket. Then
she gave him a push out of the way, allowing the next one in line to move up. She threw
a look at Amelia and found her rushing the line as well.
"Well, hey there, little lady," the next guy greeted her, holding up his ticket.
"My name's Jona."
"Yeah, that's great, gimme the ticket." She reached up to snatch the ticket away,
but Jona quickly pulled it back.
"Come on, girlie, what's your rush? Why don't we talk about dinner?"
"Because I don't want dinner," Lina bit out between clenched teeth. "I want to
kiss you. Now gimme that ticket."
She tried to grab it again, but he snatched it away from her hand a second time.
"Awww! Don't be such a tease," he pouted.
Lina looked over at Amelia's booth as Jona continued to drone on, trying to score
a date. Amelia kissed another guy and took his ticket…
"So how about it, sweets?" Jona asked with a leer.
Lina suddenly reached up and grabbed his collar. With one swift move, she
pulled his head down and smashed it into the table top, dazing the hapless carnival goer.
She then pulled him forward, kissed him, snatched his ticket out of his hand, and pushed
him away. Jona landed in a heap off to the side.
"NEXT!"
The next man handed her his ticket and approached warily…
Amelia kissed the man and took his ticket. "Thank you!" she said with a smile.
"And remember, Lina's a man. Tell your friends." She kissed the next customer and
took his ticket. "Thank you. Lina's a man. Tell your friends."
She looked over at Lina's table. (Darn! She's got such a long line…) She looked
to the other side and noticed that Filia was missing. Sitting in her chair was Zelgadis,
wearing a dress and wig and filing his nails.
He didn't have a line…
(I wonder where Miss Filia went…)
Zelgadis checked his nails again before he resumed filing them. Okay, he was in
a dress again, but at least it wasn't as bad as last time.
He looked over at Gourry's table and found the Swordsman of Light still being
mobbed by women waving tickets.
"Pheh!" Zelgadis commented in disgust. He turned just as someone slammed a
ticket on his table. "Oh crap…" he muttered.
Looking up, he saw a seven foot, barrel-chested man with a long, thick beard
staring down at him.
"Can I help you?" Zelgadis asked, his arms folded over his chest.
"Yeah. Here's my ticket. Where's my kiss?"
Zelgadis stared at him for a moment. "You're joking, right?"
"Look, lady, I don't have all day. I paid my money."
"Sure. Close your eyes." The walking mountain leaned down and closed his
eyes, puckering up. Zelgadis stood up…
And belted him right in the jaw.
The man went flying ten feet, landing on his back. He shook his head and looked
up at Zelgadis, who sat down again and started filing his nails.
"Damn, woman!" he shouted. "What are you doing after the carnival!?"
"One-sixty-seven, one-sixty-eight, one-sixty-nine, one-seventy!" Amelia
announced happily. Night had fallen, and everyone was gathered in the tent to count up
their tickets.
Lina looked up as she placed her last ticket on the table. "One-seventy," she said
quietly.
The two stared at each other.
"You mean we *tied*?!" Amelia asked in frank disbelief.
"This sucks!" Lina cried.
"I guess there is no winner."
"How did Miss Filia do?" the princess asked.
"Thirty," Filia told her quietly, looking out the tent flap as if searching for
someone.
"I got one," Zelgadis told them, holding up his ticket.
Lina and Amelia stared at him.
"No comment," Lina told him.
"Jeez," Amelia threw in.
"Well, I guess there is no winner," Lina said. "It was kind of stupid, anyway."
"Yeah," Amelia agreed sheepishly. They both broke off and blinked as they
heard Gourry speaking from his own corner of the tent.
"Two-fifty-four, two-fifty-five, two-fifty-six!" He looked up at them and grinned.
"Oi, Lina! Check it out! How much gold do we get for two hundred and fifty six
tickets?!"
The two sorceresses glared at him.
"What?"
"You kissed two hundred and fifty six women?" Lina asked, her eye twitching in
annoyance.
"No," Gourry told her. "I kissed fifty women five times apiece."
Lina began to grind her teeth…
"I had to!" he cried defensively. "I wanted to stop, but they kept throwing tickets
at me!"
The redhead's fists clenched…
"FIREBALL!!!"
(You realize, of course, you probably blew your only chance…)
Xellos sighed as he stared at Filia's window from his perch in a nearby tree.
After the party had gathered up all the tickets Lina's fireball hadn't destroyed, they had
traded them in for their gold and moved into an inn for the night. Xellos has followed
from a safe distance and was now sitting on a branch outside of the dragon priestess'
darkened window.
(Okay, I had a little…incident…but that doesn't mean we both didn't feel
something…I'm sure she felt the same pent up passion and lust as I did…maybe even
one of those disgusting love emotions Amelia is always going on about too…)
It didn't matter. After today, he'd never get another perfect chance like that…
He sensed something whistling towards his head, and instinct took over. He
didn't have the split second he needed to concentrate enough to teleport away, so he took
another escape route…
He fell.
Like a brick.
It was a good thing he did, as half a second later a large, iron mace struck the tree
trunk where he had been resting his head. Of course, now he had another problem…
That whole falling two stories to the ground thing.
He hit the ground on his back with a grunt. The mace landed only an inch from
his head. He started to rise, but before he could, someone was on top of him.
"The tables are turned now, aren't they, little demon?"
Xellos tried to blink the daze out of his eyes. "Filia san?"
The blonde had straddled him and was staring down at him like a falcon would
stare at a snake.
"Er…" Xellos began. "Filia san…Are you okay?"
"You started something this afternoon that you neglected to finish," she told him
seriously. "Now I find you slinking around my room in the middle of the night…"
"Um…Well…About that…"
"Where are your tickets?" she asked.
"My tickets?" he asked, a sweatdrop forming on the side of his head.
He felt her reach into his cloak pocket and remove the collection of red carnival
tickets. "So many tickets," she commented.
"Er…"
She tore one off of the paper chain, then bent down and clamped her lips over his.
The Mazoku felt the priestess' warm tongue enter his mouth and found himself
reciprocating. After what felt like several minutes, she pulled away.
"One," she counted.
Xellos blinked in shock as he watched her pull another ticket from the chain. She
leaned down again and kissed him a second time.
"Two…"
He didn't know what to say.
"How does it feel?" she asked. "To not be the one in control for once?"
He didn't answer her. She tore off another ticket.
"You know," he began. "I think I'm lying on a pine cone…"
Filia looked down at him and blinked.
"I would sure appreciate it, if we could continue this somewhere more
comfortable…"
"Why should I trust you and let you up?" Filia asked skeptically.
He smiled. "Because if I wanted to escape, I could anyway."
She didn't answer.
"What are you going to do now, little dragon?" he asked her.
She thought for a moment and smiled. "Sore wa himitsu desu," she whispered,
then bent down and kissed him again. "Three…"
Please review or send flames to Davner. [email protected]
Thanks for reading. ^_^ \/