Summary: Many years before the battle on Badon Hill Lancelot fell in love with female Sarmatian Knight, but they were seperated. Thought long dead, he finds her fighting with the enemy. Against him! With no memory of her past will she get past the last years she spent with the Saxons and the torture she endured at their hands and will she remember who she is. Will Lancelots love be enough to bring back the veil that covers her mind.

(I know, probably a lame summary but that it. Hopefully it will turn out all right for all of you. Please R & R. I can use all the help I can get.)

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Who I am

"Take this." She said wrapping the necklace about his neck. "May it protect you as it always did me until we meet again." Holding the crest in his hand he looked down into her eyes. Her sky blue eyes which would dance with such joy when they were together were now dulled by saddness. "I know, I know, me and my silly superstitions. I wore this in every fight, every battle and I have always lived to see the next." Soon the tears came. The tears that had brimmed her eyes could no longer be held back by her Sarmatian will. As he pulled her closed she gladly fell into his embrace. Into the arms that held her close at night over the past months and she cried. He kissed her head and inhaled the scent of her hair.

"Lillian, we must go. The others are ready." a womans voice pulled her from her moment of peace. Turning around Lillian saw her friend and fellow knight Ellaine standing in the door way.

"I am coming." Lillian said wiping away her tears. "Thank you Ellaine."

With a bow the woman left. Turning back around she saw she now stood alone. No not alone. He was there. She new. She also new he did not like to say goodbye. All his life those he cared for were forced from him and now fate was doing it again.

"I will always love you Lancelot." she spoke aloud to the empty room. With a bow to a person not there she left. Not looking back she closed the doors behind her. Had she looked she would have seen him emerge from the shadows.

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Everyone was mounted and ready by the time Lillian was outdoors. Several wagons bore the new families of her fellow knights as well as Romans. Her black steed was ready when she was arrived. He had been a gift from her father years agao. The last gift he had given her before he died in battle for Rome.

"Hello Midnight." She said. Lovingly she patted his mane and neck. "Are you ready my friend?" The horse neighed in recognition. A slight smile breached her face. "Atleast one of us is." she whispered.

"See, not even gone yet and she's smiling about it." Whipping around she saw Bors and the others. All but Lancelot.

"I am sorry Lillian but he is not here." Arthur said as he noticed her search the crowd. Arthur reminded her a lot of her father, except for not being Sarmatian. She respected him for the way he led them. As equals. Not many Roman commanders were like that, especially not hers.

"No one knows where he's off to but his horse is gone as well." Gawain spoke.

"Its all right. I have said my farewells to Lancelot. Although it would have been nice to see him again before I left." she said a fake smile bore her face.

"Eight years is a long time away. You wont forget us while you are off will you?" Galahad asked sarcasm in his voice though it was laced with sincerety.

"Forget all of my dear Knights. Never." She answered embracing each in a hug as she tried to keep back her tears. She had cried enough for one day. One by one she made her way through the group. Last to feel her embrace was Dagonet. Dear Dagonet, he had always watched out for her even in childhood. She had known many of the Knights prior to their military days, all were like brothers, family.

"You will do fine Lillian. Just wait 8 years from now we will all be together and laughing about these days." Dagonet said in an effort to get her to genuinely smile.

"And what shall I do with out you and the others to keep me out of trouble?" she asked playfully.

"Keep your head up" Dagonet said. For the first time since she had recieved the news tha she was being recalled to her post she smiled a real smile. She looked out over the sea of men staring at her. Many of them the men she had grown up with in their homeland, others she only met recently. When all were of age they were enlisted but she had been assigned to a different post. For five year she had feared the worst of her friends until she was sent to Hadrians Wall. Word had reached her commander that Hadrains wall was in need of assistance against the woads. That was nearly two years ago. Now the woads problem had slowed and she and her men were no longer needed at the wall. Now shewas to headback to her post two knights short.

"Lillian here." Vanora said appearing from behind the men. "Some bread and some things the children made for you."

"Thank you." she answered taking the bundle from the pregnant womans arms.

"Take care love. LikeI alwayssay, we will go home." and with a hug she took her place beside Bors. The melody that Vanora always song stirred in her mind.

Mounting her horse Lillian walked towards the caravan. Sarmatians and Romans fell into position as they slowly made their way to the gate. Bringing up the end of the group Lillian somberly rode. They had barely made it outside the wall when she heard her name.

"Lillian!" Looking to the wall she saw Bors.

"RUS!" All of the Sarmatian Knights on the wall shouted. On instinct her and hers did the same.

"Lillian! Lillian wait!" came a small voice. Turning around she looked to the gate and saw one of Bors' children coming her way running as fast as her legs would allow. "Here." she said handing her a note. "Its from Lancelot." Pointing Lillian gaze followed to the lone figure the tiny girl pointed to. The figure stood mounted on his horse on one of the grass lain hills the laid behind Hadrains Wall.

"Thank you young one." Lillian said drawing her attention to the child. With that the child ran back to the safety of the wall. Lillian watched as the gates closed behind her. Lillian looked down and opened her gift. On the note Lillian saw the simple word 'always'. Folding it she placed it into her satchel and looked up once more at the man. "Goodbye Lancelot" she said to the air.

"Lillian." Ellaine spoke gaining her attention. Looking up the trail she saw she now lagged behind. Taking one last look she stared up at her knights on the wall and her love on the hill before she spun around and raced after the others.

"I will return my friends. I promise and we will all go home."