Title: Poison (chapter 14.5 - Bonus Out-take Chapter!)

Author: Tsutsuji

Rating: M, for m/m sex

Disclaimers and other warnings in chapter 1

Summary: Don't get too excited! This isn't really a new chapter, it's just an alternate version of the sex scene at the beginning of chapter 10, from Xelloss' point of view. I didn't post it here before because I thought it was too hot for ffnet's M rating, but it doesn't seem like such a big deal anymore, so, here it is. It was too revealing to include in the story if I wanted anyone to believe he was really turning against Zel in chapter 11. (Did anyone believe that, even for a second? *wink*)

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"You also said that if I wanted you, it wouldn't be any good for you," Zelgadis reminded him in a whisper, letting their lips brush together as he spoke. "If that's true, we have a problem...." He moved against Xelloss until that surprising hardness met his own. "... Because I do want you, Xelloss. Did you think it was only because you tricked me into feeling this way? It isn't, damn you..."

Xelloss paused with his eyebrows raised but his eyes closed. Zelgadis gave in to the desire he'd been trying to hide so that the Mazoku could feel it. Xelloss smiled slowly.

"I wondered why you weren't furious after what I did to you this morning!" he murmured. "And how you managed to tease me.... I thought you hated me far too much for this, Zelgadis-san."

"I can hate you if you want me to. If that's what'll make it good for you..."

He bit Xelloss' lip, and suddenly they were locked in a bruising kiss as if trying to devour each other, fingers digging into each other's flesh, and then Zelgadis pulled Xelloss to the side and they were falling onto that one bed which didn't seem too small after all.

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Poison chapter 10 take 2: Xelloss' pov

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Aside from the joy of unbridled destruction, Xelloss had never felt such pleasure as the surge of lust that him when Zelgadis bit his lip. It was as though his body hungered in the same way his spirit hungered for the dark energy Mazoku fed upon. It overwhelmed him; for a moment he was lost in it, wanting Zelgadis in a way he didn't think he could want a human, physical as well as emotional. A second later he found himself on that ridiculous flowered bedspread with the chimera's heavy stone body on top of his. He wasn't even sure how he got there, but he certainly didn't want to be anywhere else.

Having given in to his desire, Zelgadis radiated almost pure lust, but it was still twisted with self-loathing, shame, guilt, and fear -- the exquisite elixir of emotions Xelloss had always been drawn to. The chimera was never as good or as evil as he felt he should be, never satisfied with himself, always wanting the other side of what he had. Those beautifully conflicted emotions had grown so familiar to Xelloss that he hadn't noticed when they'd started to focus on him.

Now, the focused energy of Zelgadis' emotions hit him like a drug, feeding his spirit with a burst of power. It wouldn't last, but he didn't care. More startling than that, this heavy, fragile human shell he wore was inflamed with the need to feel Zelgadis in the most physical way possible.

Zelgadis was already trying to tear his clothes off as quickly as possible, so Xelloss returned the favor, clawing at fabric with his soft, human fingers to get at the chimera's flesh. Waves of lust and need, both Zelgadis' and his own, kept distracting him from this task, but finally he found himself flat on his back with all of his human skin exposed, and Zelgadis straddling his hips and leering down at him. Leering... but it wasn't the demon inside that gave him that fiery expression, it was just his own human desire unleashed.

A lamp on the dresser had burned low, leaving most of the room in shadows. Its light gave a soft sheen to Zelgadis' metallic hair and glinted off the smooth stones embedded in his skin. Crystal blue eyes glittered like gems in the dark. Zelgadis ran his hands over Xelloss' skin, as if to assure himself that it was real.

Oh, it was all too real: flesh as dense and humanlike as possible, energy constricted into a small point of being. Compared to his awareness and reflexes on the astral plane, human senses were so limited that Xelloss often felt deaf, numb, and blind. But Zelgadis' fingers were so cool and rough he could feel them just as intensely as he felt the touch of Zelgadis' astral spirit, that beautiful demon part of him that gave him so much magical capacity. As desirable as he found that spirit, it was the physical touch Xelloss' human body craved right now. He pressed Zelgadis' hands onto himself more firmly in his need for more sensation. Zelgadis took the hint immediately. Xelloss knew the chimera's fingers were sensitive but the skin was rough stone, sandpaper rough to scrape the soft flesh Xelloss wore.

He could sense Zelgadis' fascination with his skin and the shape of his body. If it wasn't so distracting he would have laughed at the role-reversal between them at that moment, but he didn't hate his human body as much as Zelgadis hated his chimera form. He knew well enough that it was desirable by human standards. Only now that he was so trapped and limited within it, he'd begun to understand Zelgadis' revulsion for his own body. But Zelgadis wanted him like this--it still surprised him, even though he realized now that the signs had been there all along.

Zelgadis had only revealed his desire when he recognized Xelloss' desire for him. Xelloss knew he shouldn't have given in like this, and under any other circumstances he wouldn't have been able to. But he'd teased himself with wanting Zelgadis as long as he could stand. The consequences of giving in to that desire no longer mattered-- they still didn't, even though those consequences seemed to be much different than what he'd expected.

He watched Zelgadis' face, feeling his touch and the weight of his body, drinking in his emotions. He sensed and saw lust and curiosity tinged with shame, but fueled by a recklessness that Xelloss felt as well. That recklessness allowed Zelgadis to touch him in a way he'd never touched anyone, not even himself.

When Zelgadis closed his rough fingers around that hard shaft that had surprised him so much a few minutes before, Xelloss felt the shock of the sensation arc through his body like some astral attack spell. He moaned with the fire of it and tried to get more of that cool, rough pressure, but he couldn't move his hips to lunge up into Zelgadis' hand. So he did all he could do: he reached up and grabbed Zelgadis' shoulder, clamped his hand around the back of his neck, and pulled the chimera down on top of him.

Zelgadis didn't resist -- not physically, although he felt a flash of frustration mixed with fear of Xelloss' strength. Xelloss needed those emotions as strongly as he needed to touch of Zel's flesh, so he tightened his grip on Zel's neck and nipped at his lips with his own sharp teeth.

Through his dull human senses he drank in the sensations of Zelgadis' presence: soft grunts of protest and the sound of their bodies writhing against each other, the taste of his mouth, the heat of his breath and the cool roughness of his skin, and the scent of their arousal rising between them. Surprisingly, the sensations were as sharp as the tang of his emotions. That was good, Xelloss realized. Even though he felt starved for the taste of those dark feelings, he knew all too well by now that indulging in them would only draw his strength away more quickly. So he indulged his human flesh more fully, and only lapped gently at Zelgadis' swirling emotions.

He pressed Zelgadis' body more firmly to his, writhing up against him until he felt the stones scratch his skin. Zelgadis responded with a grunt of surprise, but once again he took the hint. He attacked with his full weight, twisting himself onto Xelloss, and grabbing his hair by the roots to yank his head back and nip at his throat with those demon-sharp teeth. And, perhaps less consciously, he thrust himself against Xelloss so their erections rubbed together, making them both gasp.

Xelloss had all the sensitivities and responses of a human in this shell of a body; he'd felt arousal before, but never so intensely as this. Clutching Zelgadis' shoulder with one hand, he reached lower with the other and clasped the tight mound of his ass. Zelgadis jerked and made a choking sound, and for a moment Xelloss tasted his fear and confusion from this new sensation. It was temptingly sweet, and despite the danger of indulging in it, he couldn't resist. He squeezed his hand tighter and Zelgadis went still.

"Is your marvelous stone body still sensitive here, Zel-san?" he whispered teasingly. "I'll be disappointed if it isn't.... especially here..."

He squeezed again and this time let his fingers slip into the cleft between the firm mounds. Zelgadis didn't move or make a sound, but his mingled fear, lust and surprise hit Xelloss like an Elmekia Lance. Xelloss squirmed and pushed up so that Zelgadis could feel his erection, hot and hard, poking him in the groin.

"Didn't you know this is how I want you? Isn't this what you want?" he taunted as his fingers prodded deeper between Zelgadis' clenching muscles.

True resistance, fear, conflicted desire and doubt shot through Zelgadis and into Xelloss' soul. He'd decided the moment Zelgadis stepped over the threshold of this room that he wanted him like this, now. He wasn't sure then that he'd have the strength. It took so much of his power just to maintain this form, and the more he took from Zelgadis the more he would lose. But now he knew he had to. He had to, even if it drained him to nothing, and even if Zelgadis did end up truly and completely hating him after all. He might never have another chance.

He gathered the power he'd just received from Zelgadis' emotions before it could slip away, and gave it to his body. He used that strength to flip the startled chimera onto his back, with his arms and legs spread wide. The helpless, betrayed look in those sapphire blue eyes filled him with glee -- and a touch of regret. Zelgadis didn't see the regret; all he saw were Xelloss' fully opened eyes staring down at him, invoking a new wave of mingled fear and lust.

He wedged Zelgadis' thighs apart with his knees, held him down with the sudden strength he'd gained in one hand against his chest, and thrust his other hand between Zel's spread thighs. Zelgadis' cock jumped but his muscles clenched, and Xelloss closed his eyes to savor the sharp taste of his fear. He smiled -- and Zelgadis gave him a luscious new quiver of fear just from seeing that.

He opened his eyes and withdrew his hand, letting his fingertips brush up the length of Zelgadis' shaft before closing them around his own. His body's arousal surged into this one place, pulsing and heated with his hunger for Zelgadis. The chimera stared at his thick erection with very round eyes.

"You said you wanted me too, didn't you? It's plain to see how you desire this body, this..." he stroked himself, watching Zel's eyes. They seemed mesmerized by the movement of his hand. "This is how I want you. I want to be deep inside of you, of course. What else did you expect me to do to you, hmm?"

Zelgadis' throat muscles contracted as if he was trying to speak or swallow but couldn't do either. He reached up and grabbed Xelloss' arm that held him down, twisting his fists around it, but he couldn't free himself. Xelloss wasn't convinced he really wanted to.

He nudged Zelgadis' thighs wider and lifted them off the bed, then shoved his hand in again. The chimera's cool stone body was warm there, and hotter still where he pressed his index finger inside.

Zelgadis made a strangled sound, struggled and tried to clench his body against the invasion, but failed. For a moment he gave in to helplessness, but a spark of lust took over when Xelloss wiggled his finger in deeper.

Then he felt it-- exactly what he'd been waiting for, what he desired and dreaded -- a surge of pure, black hate. Flushed with the power of it, Xelloss thrust another finger inside and felt the emotion swell--but Zelgadis' erection stiffened also.

He leaned down over Zelgadis, watching the blue eyes widen as he again opened his own eyes all the way.

"Your hatred tastes wonderful, Zelgadis-san, but I can't tell what it comes from. Do you hate me for doing this to you, or do you hate yourself for wanting it so much?"

Zelgadis stared at him for a second, speechless with shock and denial. Then his need and longing and horror flared so strongly that for a second Xelloss thought the shaman really had unleashed some magical attack. It wasn't magic; it was only the force of emotions that matched the struggle of Zel's body as he tried to pull Xelloss down onto him and wiggle free of the invading fingers at the same time.

In a thousand years among humans, Xelloss had learned nearly every way there was to manipulate them, body and soul. He knew just how to push three fingers deep inside Zelgadis, stretching him and searching for the key that would put the chimera totally under his control. He knew when he'd found it by the way Zelgadis shuddered and moaned his name so that it sounded like a Word of Chaos. But Zelgadis had taken his last hint as well. As soon as the shock of that sensation had passed, he raised his head and glared at Xelloss with all the fury he could muster.

Xelloss moaned with the force of it. His body stiffened with need, but even as the pleasure from Zelgadis' dark emotions hit him he felt the power wrenched away into the void. He put all that he could hold onto of it into this human body and its physical response to Zelgadis, into his long-denied desire for him.

Zelgadis jerked under him when he suddenly withdrew his hand. He pushed Zel's legs up and apart, and before Zelgadis could squirm in surprise he pressed him down and thrust the tip of his erection where his fingers had been.

Zelgadis went stiff and still, except for his fists that tore at the flowered bedcover, and his eyes staring up at him pleadingly. Xelloss couldn't tell what he was pleading for, release or conquest, or both. It didn't matter; it might later but it didn't right now. He flexed his hips and pushed inside. The heat and tight pressure made him gasp.

Zelgadis screamed; his delicious pain was like dark fire shooting through Xelloss. He almost screamed as well from the intensity of the sensations in his tightly focused human body combined with what Zel was feeling. The chimera's struggle was real now as he scrambled desperately to get free of the piercing, tearing pain. It felt so good to Xelloss' hungry spirit to have someone writhing in agony underneath him, but he couldn't enjoy it. With a groan of effort he quickly shoved in deeper, and another stroke, faster, until suddenly Zelgadis' pain burst into shocking pleasure. His sapphire eyes flew wide open and his whole body convulsed, caught between trying to get away and holding on to Xelloss.

Xelloss struggled to keep his grip on all the power that Zelgadis was giving him through his clashing emotions: willing resistance, denied desire, a helpless demand for more as he started to move with Xelloss. It was hard to do with his body consumed in sensation and need. He had never felt so much before, at least not like this, feeling so much pleasure in his physical senses and so much less in his true self. Feeling the pull on his spirit as the power was immediately drained away made the pleasure so much more intense, and made his sense of need for Zelgadis that much more desperate.

A wave of anguish hit him, not his own but Zel's, as if he also knew that this could be their last and only time to do this. He couldn't let the Curse steal that perfect agony away. Clutched tightly around Zelgadis, feeling their bodies slapping together with the chimera's stone-flecked legs now hooked around his back, drawing in the scent and feel of him, Xelloss pressed his face against the hard stones on Zel's chin and neck. He gathered the power into his human form, into the focused point of sensation, and released it into Zelgadis' chimera body. He felt a sense of triumph even as it drained him to near exhaustion; at least he had given it to Zelgadis in this way instead of letting it be stolen by Shimer.

A few seconds later he felt Zelgadis jerk under him, and molten-hot fluid spurted between their bodies. By then his physical senses were so highly stimulated that he could hardly feel Zel's emotions hitting him. He only knew when Zelgadis settled moments later, with one last, surprised-sounding gasp, into soft oblivion.

Xelloss lay still on top of the chimera's lax body, which now felt like sun-warmed stone. He let his own energy grow still as well, preserving what power he could. Letting his body rest in a semblance of human sleep was the only thing that halted the loss of power, he'd found, but it didn't restore lost power. And anyway, he didn't feel like sleeping. He'd almost become used to the steady drain on his power, but he hadn't gotten used to the way it made him aware of the passing of time. He didn't have much time left with Zelgadis. He couldn't even guess what the chimera would do when he returned to consciousness after this -- hitting him with a spell attack was still a possibility -- so he wasn't going to waste a minute sleeping.

He pulled out and away from the unusually relaxed stone body. It was charmingly vulnerable, he thought with a smile, the way the powerful chimera simply passed out after reaching orgasm. If he meant Zelgadis harm or even had a mind for mischief, now would be the time for it, but that's not what he wanted.

Lying alongside Zel, he bent low over him and lightly touched his tongue to the pool of fluid on his stomach. The taste of Zel's release was a purely physical pleasure that he could indulge in without risking any further drain on his astral powers, so he lapped it up softly and quickly before Zelgadis returned to awareness.

He settled alongside Zelgadis again and watched his eyelids tremble in some drowsy dream, and ran his human-soft fingers through the smooth, metallic hair. He should never have become so entangled with a mortal, he mused. It shouldn't even be possible, really. In human terms, he was almost what they would call fond of Zelgadis, or maybe infatuated would be their word for it... something like that. Their own words for these kinds of emotions often seemed muddled to him. At any rate, his fascination with Zelgadis, even to the point of wanting to give Zel what he wanted, was entirely against his nature. But then, so was dying, and he was doing quite a fine job of that.

He watched Zelgadis' lips twitch upward as he climbed back up to consciousness. He closed his eyes to sense the first wave of waking emotions, whatever they might be. It was mostly just curiosity now, though. He'd gained all he could from Zelgadis' presence, and he'd taken what he wanted physically at last. Now he could go on to the end of his mission and do what he'd come to do, live or die, either with or without a foolish chimera for company.

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(end of Bonus Chapter)

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