Note: I do not own s-CRY-ed, or any other intellectual properties. They are all copyrights of their respectful owners. The rest, however, is MINE, BEE-YOTCHES!
WARNING: Reading this load of crap will be detrimental to your IQ. Proceed at your own discretion.
LET'S PARODY ONE MORE TIME!
Previously, on s-CRYING-ed: In a Nutshell...
KANAMI: Dude! They're invincible! The only things that can stop them are each other.
MEANWHILE
KAZUMA: Hey! We have a score to settle! LET'S FIGHT!
RYUHO: LET'S!
MEANWHILE
KANAMI: GOD, THEY'RE STUPID!
IN THE MEANTIME
ILYON: Looks like someone's catching on. Wait! They're gonna fight? AWW $#!
KAZUMA: You ready, bee-yotch?
RYUHO: As ready as I hope you are, bee-yotch!
GYRAX Presents…
KAZUMA: You sure you want some, bee-yotch?
RYUHO: If you do, bee-yotch!
s-CRYING-ed: In a Nutshell
KAZUMA: Y0U JUST D14L3D 1-800-COLLECT-AN-ASS-WHOOPIN, B33-Y07CH!
RYUHO: 1'LL K1CK Y0UR M0NK3Y 4SS B3CK T0 T3H JUNGL3, B33-Y07CH!
(They CHARGE at one another.)
KAZUMA and RYUHO: L33T SP34K H4S R3TURN3D!
EXPLOSION: KA-BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!
Episode 26: Row, Row, Row your Boat, Gently Down the Stream. Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Life is but a Dream.
RYUHO: ZETSUEI! I CHOOSE YOU! (ZETSUEI appears.)
KAZUMA: HA! You and your evil Pokémon!
RYUHO: ZETSUEI! STREAMER ATTACK!
KAZUMA: Oh yeah? Well, HOW ABOUT MY FIST ATTACK! (He PWNS.)
RYUHO: ZETSUEI! Evolve into ZETSUEI! (It EVOLVES.)
KAZUMA: HA! You and you petty digivolution! Come and get me if you think you have the grapes, B1TCH!
(ZETSUEI pwns back.)
KAZUMA: Maybe that was a bad idea.
IN THE BACKGROUND
Enter MIMORI: Do all men live like this, dammit? I JUST DON'T GET IT!
KANAMI hands her a BOOK: Read this. It's a book about the male psyche. It clearly says that men sometimes just want to fight their troubles away.
MIMORI: How long did you have this?
KANAMI: Long enough. How did you think I was able to subdue Kazu-kun so well?
MIMORI: You got me there...
SOMEWHERE ELSE
URIZANE: Mutsumi will be proud when she sees me planting more watermelons. Oh, and there's gonna be a big fight, today.
ILYON: I know. Hey, wanna broadcast to everyone on the island. It'll be a hell of a lot better than that WWE crap.
STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN: You want me to whoop your candy ass?
ILYON: HELL, NO! I'll do fine without it, thank you!
(Throughout the Lost Ground, people from all around, including long forgotten characters form the beginning of teh series, gather around thheir TVs, which have MAGICALLY TURNED ON. They see the two combatants.)
OLD MAN: I want Carson Daly!
ON THE BATTLEFIELD
KAZUMA: PH33R T3H P0W4H 0F T4H SSJ!
RYUHO: PH33R T3H P0W4H 0F MY 1ND1FF3R3NC3!
KAZUMA: I B3T J00 D0N G0T T3H R3G3N3R4T10N!
RYUHO: BUT I D0 G0TZ T3H BULL3T-T1M3! WH00SH!
KAZUMA: M0NK3Y-L1CK3RZ!
RYUHO: TR33-HUMP3RZ!
KAZUMA: 4SS-BAND1TZ!
RYHUO: T3RD-G0BL1NZ!
KAZUMA: Grrr! /II173-II07 73C0 1II 134RII-P41II73R'$ $II4CK!
RYUHO: I4I/IP P0$7, 1IIK P4II7$, I3I/I0II F4R7$!
KAZUMA and RYUHO: B33333333333-Y000000000000TCH!
EXPLOSION: BLAMMOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
AND IN COMES A DREAM SEQUENCE...
KAZUMA: Ahh. Fantasizing's good, except for the scolding part.
KIMISHIMA: If you're scolded in your own fantasies, then you're really screwed up.
KAZUMA: Dammit!
NOW WE MOVE ON TO RYUHO'S DREAM SEQUENCE...
SCHERIS: Just another day of being a total assHOLY!
RYUHO: Wait! This is my fantasy?
SCHERIS: Yup. You're pretty screwed in the head, my friend.
RYUHO: ...Won't you believe it.
BACK TO REALITY
KAZUMA: That was good for a minute.
RYUHO: But now we take it to SSJ4 MODE!
(They MAGICALLY TRANSFORM.)
RYUHO: FLY ME TO THE MOON!
KAZUMA: SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!
MIMORI: OMG! THEY FLYIN' TO OUTER SPACE!
KANAMI: Wordy McWord-Word!
OUTER SPACE
RYUHO: MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT!
KAZUMA: HERE I AM, ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE!
(Another mighty explosion practically engulfs, I don't know, half of the FRICKIN' PLANET!)
AUDIENCE: ...DA-YAMN!
(Our two combatants crash down to earth. Then they fight DRAGON BALL Z STYLE.)
COUGAR: My job is done here. I think I'll die, now.
MIMORI: Oh you suck, and just after you got my name right.
KANAMI: And now they're brilliant light show degenerates into a fist-packed ramma-lamma-bam-jam. Dammit! That's how they always end!
MIMORI: OMG! THEIR FACES ARE CONTROTING!
KANAMI: Yes. Somewhere in France, Pablo Picasso is rolling over in his grave.
MIMORI: DEAD PEOPLE CAN'T ROLL OVER!
(The two fighters stare at each other for what seems like an ETERNITY. Then again, they can barely move.)
RYUHO: B33-y0tch!
KAZUMA: B33-y0tch!
(One final clash ends the fight. They bot fall to the ground, with a big "zero" of dust surrounding them.)
MIMORI: Damn --- what now?
(A fist raises high into the air.)
KANAMI: Power-ups to the people... (She raises her own.)
TIME PASSES BY, AND THE FUTURE COMES
KANAMI: Am I a looker or what? Anyways, I gotta check up on those two rapscallions and see what they're up to.
RYUHO: Pure beliefes doth not driveth you! Thus, thou art evil! I HATE EVIL!
KANAMI: ...Isn't hate an evil thing?
KAZUMA: DAMMIT1 I JUST WANNA KICK ASS! WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE CONCEPT AOF A GOOD FIGHT?
KANAMI: It left when you two did. (She addresses the AUDIENCE.) Well, see ya around, peoples. That's it (aside from the epilogue below). Goodbye! (She FLIES AWAY.)
The End, Bee-yotches!
Epilogue
KAZUMA: DAMN, SHE WAS HOT! It makes me wish we were the same age!
MIMORI: You're a freak.
KAZUMA: What-frickin'-ever.
SCHERIS: Aren't I supposed to be dead?
KANAMI: Relax, Condom-top. This is an epilogue that has nothing to do with the story.
COUGAR: Yup.
RYUHO: Why are we here, anyway?
KAZUMA: Only God knows.
KANAMI: You guys can read out the credits to pass the time.
KAZUMA: Ah, hell.
RYUHO and KAZUMA: LET'S ROLL THEM CREDITS!
Written by: GYRAX
RYUHO and KAZUMA: THAT'S IT?
SCHERIS: Uhh --- yeah.
MIMORI: What, you wanted to see a bunch of names there? That would be an already half-assed effort divided by probably an ungodly an amount of people.
KANAMI: Look at this.
MIMORI: What is it?
KANAMI: The author wants us to read the names of everyone that has "s-CRYING-ED: In a Nutshell" on their favorites and alert lists. A faovire of 32 people, and an alert of 18.
SCHERIS: That's it?
KANAMI: Come on. What's the credits without a Special Thanks list, eh?
COUGAR: She has a point there. I guess this is an equivalent of a Special Thanks list.
KAZUMA: We're gonna read it, now?
KANAMI: Duh, silly-gilly. And you go first.
KAZUMA: ...Nice.
(Kanami hands him the list of poeple who have this ifc on their FAVORITES LIST.)
Favorites list
KAZUMA: Angelarm Katie
RYUHO: animemaiden
KANAMI: Ayame Kyoshi
MIMORI: Badger Demon?
SCHERIS: Betrayed by Darkness?
COUGAR: Destiny T.
KIMISHIMA: Dream Chaser
KAZUMA: Drgnmastr-Alex of the Dark Icon Writers
ZIGMAR: ello-poppit
URIZANE: Erin Elric
ILYON: HentaiNoBakaChick57
ASUKA: ImperialGuardian09
KIMISHIMA: InsaneOddBall?
MUJO: Jarr Jar?
AYASE: Jeemers
MIMORI: Kawaii-Akuhei
KANAMI: Kentucky Fly Chick?
COUGAR: kevaiss
ASUKA: Ladies of Evil
RYUHO: Luciado
ZIGMAR: MiraResQNU
KAZUMA: MSTRSWRD
MUJO: number 1 trigun fan?
KANAMI: Onirei Kirara
SCHERIS: Pockyz
MIMORI: Raven Scorne
KIMISHIMA: Sailor Tawna-mi
AYASE: Saint H
ASUKA: Satri
KAZUMA: Shiyarou
RYUHO: Tenshi no Namida
MUJO: xXEnvyXx? What the hell?
MIMORI: Ummm --- I think the Xs are silent.
MUJO: WHATEVER!
Alert list
KAZUMA: There's more?
KANAMI: Don't be a baby.
KAZUMA: All right.
(He reads the list.)
KAZUMA: Betrayed by Darkness?
KANAMI: BIGTOVEN
SCHERIS: Caelistes
MIMORI: Charon
ASUKA: death88
COUGAR: Dream Chaser
RYUHO: Drgnmastr-Alex of the Dark Icon Writers
KIMISHIMA: Erin Elric
AYASE: evilchik
URIZANE: ImperialGuardian09
ILYON: Iudex Acerbus
KAZUMA: Luciado
ZIGMAR: MiraResQNU
MIMORI: MSTRSWRD
MUJO: number 1 trigun fan?
SCHERIS: Pockyz
RYUHO: Raven Scorne
KANAMI: SnowShadowuser
KAZUMA: That's it, right?
KANAMI: Yup.
MUJO ...Does anyone hold a grudge against me?
MIMORI: That's a dumb question. EVERYONE DOES! You ruined the plot!
MUJO: Oh yeah? How come it remained stagnant even after I died.
MIMORI: The damage you caused is IRREVERSIBLE!
MUJO: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?
KAZUMA: Well, I'm outta here.
RYUHO: Same here.
ADULT KANAMI: Goodbye --- for real, this time. (She SWEATDROPS.)
Coming soon...
s-CRING-ed