Sorry, sorry, sorry! I've been EXTREMELY uninspired! I've had the worst case of writer's block (and artist's block, too) I've ever experienced. I'm actually not feeling humorous at all. (Thank the Lord for Duran Duran and Tears For Fears.) With my apologies bidden, and my news said, I shall commence with the story. Enjoy!

Snapping and snarling, Scruff was thrown into a tub of hot, soapy water; the tub was spilling over with soap suds. Rinku stood with a hose, waving it around like a mad man. The black shorts he wore were the darkest shade you could ever see, due to the water; you could see through his soaking white tank-top. And, of course, his nearly black hair (due, once again, to water) drooped pathetically into his eyes. He was wetter than an Olympic swimmer, and all he'd done was turn on the garden hose.

Shishiwakamaru sat, quite some feet away, in silence, watching contentedly. He wore a pair of blue kapris (but Rinku had already got him, so they were black now) and a large white T-shirt, which you could now see through, as well. His hair was down and soaking wet, all wax and gel long gone from it. Shishiwaka was very content with his role in washing the newly adopted dog—sit and watch quietly. Perfect.

"Having fun, Rinku? Looks like Scruff is having a blast," Shishi jeered. Rinku glared at him, letting go off the dog briefly, and showed him a very lovely hand motion. Which wasn't such a bright idea.

"SCRUFF! COME BACK!"

Rinku lunged after the wet dog, but only landed into the tub. The dog bounded towards the house once more, focused on his prey. Shishi drew up is legs, hoping the dog could not get up on the engawa to get him. The kitchen door was open. It was 9:30 a.m., just time for Jin's 'breakfast' (which varied from Pop-Tarts to Froot Loops to cookies to candy to rice to bread to toast to pizza, depending on what he saw first). The dog left a very wet and soapy trail behind him as he ran into the house, headed for the open refrigerator. But Scruff wasn't looking for some free food, as most dogs would be. Scruff was malicious. Scruff was malign. Scruff was—dare I say it—evil.

Two ninjas down. Blood stained Jin's white pant-leg. He tore his leg from the dog's grip, a fresh gash on his calf. Well, four or five gashes, seeing as it was a bite, not a cut. He glowered at the dog, who was jumping up and down to get to him, still snapping and snarling and barking and growling. (Scruff even went as far as to gurgle at the man.) Jin held his bleeding leg, floating far up near the ceiling, and cursed violently.

Rinku ran into the kitchen. But by the time he got in, he'd missed the entire ordeal, and Scruff looked like a complete innocent. The dog was on his hind legs, his front on the bottom shelf, and raiding the refrigerator, chomping down on leftover pizza. Jin still cussed just as violently as he bled, and held his wound tightly, still casting dirty looks at the dog. Just getting some free food? Bull shit.

Rinku knelt down and wrapped his arm around the dog's neck. It snapped briefly, but then sat quietly, panting, tongue wagging. Shishiwakamaru entered the room sheepishly, making sure to keep the door behind him open. His eyes widened, looking at the ninja high up by the ceiling. Jin cussed again.

"What happened?" Shishiwakamaru's voice was quiet, but steady. It was genuine curiosity; but it lacked any possible empathy or even sympathy.

"The feckin' dog feckin' came up and ripped me feckin' leg off!" Jin hollered.

"Well, that's obviously a lie, Jin, seeing as it's still there," Rinku pointed out defiantly, grip round Scruff's chest tightening.

"Look at it! Look at this! You want me to count the places where he broke the skin? The dog's a feckin' maniac!"

"Don't call my dog a maniac, you frickin' hypocrite!" Rinku shouted.

"I ain't no feckin' hypocrite! The dog's feckin' evil; it's Satan's feckin' spawn! I was mindin' my own business and then CHOMP!"

"Sure! I bet you were provoking him, you windward idiot!"

"I was not! I was getting food! I'll show ye who's a idiot, though, you little brat!"

"I'm not afraid of you!"

"Ye damn well should be, then, 'cause if I can't walk tomorrow—"

"ENOUGH."

Chuu stood in the doorway, arms crossed over his broad chest. He stared at the three (or the four) through furrowed brows, the corners of his mouth drooping; the lines beneath the rugged hair of his face deepened with his scowl of authority he didn't have. Shishiwakamaru drew back a little, never having seen such a face on the man. The thought raced through his mind, and it almost truthfully froze the blood coursing through his veins, blew his mind, maybe even frightened him: "He must be sober." And it must have been the apocalypse.

"What's goin' on 'ere, now?" Chuu's voice was still the same. Thank goodness. No need to worry about fireballs and acid raining from the sky, or the ground collapsing beneath your very feet. What a relief.

"Jin made Scruff bite him and now—"

"Rinku's damned dog tried to steal me leg—"

"They were arguing like mad and—"

"SHUT YER BLOODY TRAPS!" Chuu screamed. The three shushed. "Jin, go."

"Awright. I was gonna break me fast, looking for food in the fridge, right? I was standin' there with the door open, and the back door was open, too. Rinku and Shishi were outside washin' the anti-Christ—I mean washing the dog, and Rinku tells it to come get me, right? Then it runs in here, all wet an' soapy, and chomps down on m'leg just 'cause!" Jin let go of his calve, sticking his leg out for observation. "Have a look!"

Chuu glanced at Jin's leg, then to the dog, and finally to Rinku. They nodded at each other.

"I was washing Scruff, and Shishiwakamaru was being lazy; I accidentally let go of him, and he got away. Jin was teasing him with food and so Scruff bit 'im!"

"NOT WHAT 'APPENED, MUNCHIN!"

"IT WAS, TOO!"

"QUIET!" Chuu's voice bellowed throughout the room.

"What happened was this. I was supervising Rinku and watching him wash the dog. He accidentally let go of the dog, like he said. Jin was in the kitchen raiding the fridge for breakfast, like he said. The door was open, the dog ran in, and for some unknown reason decided to bite Jin's leg." Shishiwakamaru stepped forward, looking superior.

Chuu shook his head exhaustedly; walking over to the refrigerator, he pushed Rinku and Scruff out of the way gently with his foot, reaching in a pulling out a half-eaten roast beef sandwich on a plate. He proceeded to walk away, everyone's gaze following him. After a second, Shishiwaka smirked at the two boys in front of him.

"If I were the fureakdog… I'd bite Jin, too," he said calmly, a hint of humour in his tones as he made his way to the living room. It was more of a run than a walk, and the blue-haired samurai easily dodged Jin's attempt to punch his head off. The boy exited the room snickering, dashing up to his bedroom. To do Shishi-things.

Jin glared at Rinku and his dog and floated sullenly in Shishi's wake, then joining Touya on the couch. Rinku pulled the mutt back outside to finish washing him.

"'Ey, Touya. Ye like the dog?" Jin inquired after a while to the reading Touya. The ice Shinobi's eyes darted to him for a second, then returning to the book, to finish the sentence. He dogeared his page in 'Shogun', and set it aside, purposely exposing his bandaged hand to the wind master.

"I love it like my own," he said bitterly, sarcasm dripping from his tongue. Jin chuckled, sticking out his wounded leg for Touya to see. He rolled up the blood-soaked pant leg, inspecting the numerous bites and gashes. The redhead grimaced.

Touya's eyes were wide at Jin's wounds, then looked to his own. He cleared his throat.

"The dog's a crazy li'l bugger, ain't 'e, Toy! Lookit what 'e did ta meh!"

"That's… rather gruesome. I'll dress those for you. Last night, when I was putting him on the porch, do you know what he did to me?" Touya stuck his hand out, blood spots in the middle on both sides. "He bit me. Straight through my hand. I literally felt teeth hit bone."

Jin gasped, shaking his head. He bolted up into the air, keeping his hurt leg cocked. He took Touya's free hand and forced the demon up and dragged him along to the bathroom. Touya'd always been better at dressing wounds than Jin.

Outside, on the other hand, Rinku was drying a clean and happy Scruff off with a towel. Once dried for the most part by the warm towel, the dog shook all over, remaining drops of soapy water flying in every direction. Rinku laughed as they hit him, shielding his face slightly with his hands.

"Scruff," he whined sweetly in a singsong voice. The boy leant down and hugged the dog happily to him, Scruff in return wagging his tail and licking Rinku excitedly in his face.

From above, a figure stood in the window, watching the goings-ons below. Rinku and Scruff ran about the yard and the rock garden, chasing each other, Scruff barking happily and Rinku laughing and screaming giddily from time to time. They were playing together. (Surely, the evil one—the thing entitled 'Scruff'—was putting on an act.)

The figure sniffed his congested nose, pulling another tissue from the box of Kleenex in his hands and blew it promptly, stepping away from the window to his bed. Suzuki resolved to lie down again, for his head was rather sore. He sat the box on the nightstand, and pulled his polka-dot pajama-pants-covered legs up, and under the rainbow candystriped bed sheets, turning on his side and drifting into a allergy-infected, congested and sore-headed, sullen sleep.

And they called it Scruff.

Well. Here it is. Chapter three. I've actually taken a really long time to write this. Months, for sure. I wrote from the roast beef sammich to the end listening to An Café アンティック-珈琲店-. Very good band. Suits me. Anyway. I've had a total Suzuki obsession and I'm practically a different person. But not! Whoa! Anywho. I'm working more on romance and serious things. I have plans for the summer. I'll be releasing a plethora of SuzukixShishiwakamaru song-fics soon, too, if anyone is interested. Keep an eye out for 'Psychobabble,' which will be coming out soon. Love you all! Thanks for reading! (Please review. I get so excited when I get reviews.)