Title: Might Have Been A While
Rating: T
Pairings: Doctor/Rose
Set: Between 'The Doctor Dances' and 'Boom Town'
Spoilers: Only the fact that Jack is here.
Author's Note: This is a bit fluffy. I wanted to write something a little lighter after 'Memento Mori'
Rose stuffed the key card into the slot on her door, before hurriedly moving her hands back to steady the packages she was holding as they threatened to fall. Shopping on Titan had been the Doctor's idea. A treat for her after she had had suffered the ignominy of falling into a tar pit on their last stop and then had to walk back through the town to the TARDIS with everyone sniggering at the sight of her. She had reassured him that she was actually fine about it, if the tiniest bit humiliated, but he had insisted that she deserved a little pampering to make up for it. And when he had taken her to the largest shopping centre in the universe and given one of those bars with unlimited credits to spend, who was she to argue?
The Doctor himself had wisely disappeared off to make reservations at the local hotel, saying they could all perhaps do with a break for a day or two. As fun as travelling through time and space and getting into one death defying scrape after another was, he had admitted that it was about time they spent a spell relaxing in relatively safe. After all, a tired, stressed time traveller was a careless time traveller.
Jack, it seemed, wasn't so smart. He had offered to go shopping with her. The poor fool had actually offered. Even Mickey, bless him, had known it was best to run and hide when she suggested getting some new clothes.
When the Doctor had looked at him oddly Jack had just shrugged and said that he could do with some new stuff himself. Five hours later he seemed to regret that decision as they staggered into the lobby, him clutching more boxes and bags than any man should ever be forced to carry.
The Doctor had grinned, "How many of those are actually yours?"
Jack had wiggled his elbow, shaking two bags there, "Just these."
The Doctor laughed, handing Rose the key card to her room.
"Shouldn't you be carrying these," Jack muttered, trying desperately to balance all the packages, "She's your girlfriend."
The Doctor had looked suddenly uncomfortable at that and had offered to go and book them a table for dinner, leaving hurriedly. Jack had turned to Rose with an apologetic look but she had simple shrugged. She was confused and frustrated and she didn't mind who knew it. She wanted to know where she stood. Quite a reasonable request she thought. And it did help that Jack too saw that there was clearly something deeper between them. It reassured her that it wasn't just her brain interpreting things in a too hopeful manner.
Finally managing to open the door with her elbow Rose walked into her temporary room, using her foot to keep the door open for Jack. He carefully dropped the bags and boxes onto the large bed, picking out his own meagre purchases from the pile.
"Don't s'pose you need help trying these on?" Jack asked with a twinkling smile, "I mean if you need someone to check out what you look like in that new underwear I'm perfectly willing to offer my services."
"I bet you are," Rose said with a giggle, poking him in the chest, "But I think I'm just going to take a bath before dinner."
"Scrub your back?" he offered, all innocence.
"Get out!" Rose ordered with a laugh, shoving him towards the door.
"Okay, alright," Jack said chuckling, "I know when I'm not wanted. See you at dinner."
Rose finally stepped out of the bathroom an hour later, having just finished blow drying her hair and changing into a soft pair of trousers and a t-shirt. She had to decide what to wear first before she got changed suitable for dinner. With all her new purchases that was undoubtedly going to take a while.
Outside the window she could see the flash of lightning and hear the harsh drumming of torrential rain. One of Titan's infamous storms was brewing up. It seemed like they'd got back from shopping just in time.
Entering the main area of her room she stopped when she unexpectedly saw the Doctor sitting on her bed, completely at home, his nose shoved inside the bags of shopping sitting next to him. She didn't even bother questioning why he was here. He walked into her room in the TARDIS all the time without invitation, she didn't see why it was going to be any different here.
"Do you mind not rifling through my underwear?" she teased, before mentally adding 'at least when I'm not wearing it.' Not that she dared say something like that out loud. Any time she showed any vague physical interest in him he acted like he was scared to death of her. Or at least very unsure about what to do. It was like dating a shy teenager. Without the actual dating of course.
"Sorry," the Doctor said with a smile, although he didn't exactly look apologetic, "Just curious."
He dipped his hand inside the closest bag and pulled out a skimpy black thong, "I mean how is this comfortable?"
Rose snatched it out of his hands, mildly embarrassed, "Lucky for you you'll never find out what it's like to wear one. Unless there's something about you Time Lords that you're really not telling me."
He grinned mischievously, "I dunno. I think my bum would look great in one of those."
She giggled, raising her eyebrows suggestively as she stashed the underwear into a draw, "You'd better be careful or I'll make you prove that."
The Doctor looked completely startled by that suggestion. Clearly that was not where he had expected his teasing to go.
Good.
Before he had a chance to make up an excuse to leave, Rose walked over and stood between his legs, close but not touching him. Inside she was shaking, praying that he didn't lose his nerve and bolt. She'd waited too long for this. She didn't know why she was doing it now, or what had so suddenly made her decide this was a good time to try it. Perhaps it was because they weren't in the TARDIS. This was neutral ground, it was outside their normal lives. Anything could happen here. There were less boundaries to be crossed.
"You're not really so different from us humans, are you," she stated softly, looking down at him with a thoughtful expression, "You still smile, you still laugh. You still cry and get angry…."
"Lots of species have emotions, Rose," he explained uncomfortably, struggling to find a way to sit which didn't make their positions more intimate, "Some have ones humans aren't even capable of."
He was trying to steer her away from the matter at hand. To get her sidetracked on something he thought she would find interesting. It wasn't going to work.
"Can you love?" she asked, forcibly making her tone curious rather than hopeful, "Are you capable of love like we are?"
He was staring up at her intently, his expression unreadable.
"Of course," he reasoned in a quiet voice, "If I didn't love then I wouldn't bother helping others, would I?"
True.
"But what about individuals?" she pressed, "Can you love an individual? Do you ever feel it when you're near someone? Right in here."
She pressed her hand against his chest, hovering over the double beat of his hearts, feeling their rapid pace.
"Sometimes," he admitted after a pause, his voice shaking ever so slightly. This was clearly hard for him. He was going somewhere he had tried to avoid ever since he'd met her.
"Do you ever act on it?"
He shook his head, "No."
"Why not?"
"There's too much at stake. Too much to lose."
She hadn't expected that answer and it threw her for a moment. He stayed away because he was scared of losing her? Is that what he was saying? She guessed that it made logical sense, in an odd sort of way. If you didn't take risks, you didn't risk losing, right? And she fully appreciated that the Doctor had already lost so much. That it was perfectly reasonable for him to want to avoid losing more.
But wasn't that a lonely way to live? Wasn't it empty? What was the point of existing if you always kept your distance from those you cared about? No pain, no gain as the saying goes. Rose found it quite refreshing that for once her human point of view seemed to be the more sensible, enlightened one.
"You know, by protecting yourself like that you're actually hurting yourself more," she pointed out kindly, "If you never take a chance you'll miss out on so much, yeah?"
His face was entirely still, his eyes locked on hers.
"I know," he agreed, "And I don't really want to be alone."
She paused for a long moment, just looking at him, seeing the pained expression in his eyes. Hearing the slight pleading in his voice which asking her not to make him do this. But he was so close, so very close to telling her everything she knew he felt but was afraid to say. He loved her, she just knew he did. She wasn't going to give up now. What if they never got another chance?
"When was the last time someone kissed you?" she asked lightly, as if it was the most natural question in the world.
A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth for a moment.
"Not as long ago as you might think."
Rose smiled slightly in return.
"And when was the last time you were kissed by someone who loved you?" she asked tenderly.
The Doctor hesitated, looking at her carefully.
"I…I don't remember," he admitted in a barely audible whisper.
"So it's been a while then?"
"Yeah."
"Maybe never?"
"Maybe."
"And you're all about new experiences, aren't you?" she reasoned, moving a little closer to him, "Don't you want to know what that's like? Don't you ever wonder?"
"Sometimes."
"Then why don't you find out?" she asked gently, "It's only me here. Just me. You trust me, don't you?"
He nodded, "Always."
"It really is the most amazing thing ever," she said with a small, happy smile, "I want you to know what it feels like. You've given me so much. I want to give you something in return."
He shook his head and looked away, again on the verge of denying himself what she knew he wanted because of a fear inside that was holding him back. Well her mum had always taught her to face her fears head on.
She wasn't going to give up on him. Not this time.
"Rose, I-"
She firmly grabbed his chin, turning his face back to look at her.
"There's no need to be afraid," she reassured tenderly, "Do you really think the world will end if the Doctor falls in love?"
He shook his head again, now unable to break her gaze, "I don't know. I hope not."
"Let's find out."
She slowly dipped her head down to his, delighted to see that he didn't make a move to stop her nor back away. Closing her eyes, she pressed her lips ever so lightly to his, lingering there for a long moment just to feel the wonderful rush of skin on skin. When she pulled away to look at him she saw he was sitting there with his eyes closed and an awed expression on his face.
"Well?" she asked eventually with a warm smile, "What was it like, Doctor?"
He opened his eyes slowly, a broad smile lighting up his entire face.
"Fantastic."
"And it looks like the world didn't end after all," she added, her grin growing to meet his.
"Nope," he agreed with a bright nod, clearly very pleased by the fact.
She giggled, running her hand across his cheek affectionately, "Gets better than this you know."
"Oh yeah?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
She slipped her hands around his neck.
"Much."
She bent her head down and pressed her lips to his again. He seemed a little hesitant at first, beautifully uncertain, his lips massaging hers gently as if he did know how to do this but he was out of practice. Then as her kisses became more feverish, instinct started to take over and much to her surprise she felt his tongue brush her lips, asking for entrance which she immediately gave. Moments later she was settled on his lap, her hands firmly gripping his shoulders, his settled on her waist. The kiss was full and passionate, tongues exploring each other, lips moving in perfect unison. It made Rose shiver inside. She never knew a kiss could be so good.
When they pulled away she was breathless, leaning her forehead against his, looking deep into his dark, passionate eyes.
"How long have we got until dinner?" she asked softly, caressing his chest.
The Doctor looked back at her, his gaze betraying his nerves. Rose wondered at him. He could face any number of horrors out in this universe but when faced with spending intimate time alone with her, he got scared?
She smiled. Whilst the thought of making love to him made her whole body flood with heat, she guessed he wasn't quite ready for that yet. And to be honest, neither was she. Still there was something to be said about simply kissing. Especially when the kisses were like that.
"The amount of time I've been waiting for you I think you owe me a lot more kisses," she said with a reassuring smile telling him all that she expected of him for now.
"Well then," he said, apparently at ease with that, reaching up to cup her cheek, "It was probably a good idea that I didn't book dinner 'til eight."
Two hours? Might just be long enough.
Rose smiled, her lips heading for his again, "It's a good start."