Introduction
Out of the whole group, Fai is the one who smiles the most. But just because he smiles, that doesn't mean he's happy.
As he travels through the various dimensions, Fai hides behind a false smile, carefully concealing how he really feels under layers of pretence. But when Ashura returns, those layers are torn away, leaving him exposed to the world.
As he tries desperately to cope with the new pain and fear in his life, Fai finds himself thinking back to a time long ago…when smiles were real.
When the mask cracks, what will lie beneath?
Chapter One; Drawn Together
"Damnit!" Kurogane cursed as the Flame Spirit surged towards him once again, fiery claws reaching for him. Leaping out of the way, Kurogane sliced through it with his sword, swearing as the demon simply reassembled itself.
>This is all that manjuu bun's fault!> He thought darkly, dodging as a tendril of fire swept past him. If Mokona hadn't dumped them in a world infested with these Flame Spirits, then he wouldn't have to get involved in this stupid fight.
Sensing a feather in the nearby temple, Mokona had left with Syaoran and Sakura to find it, leaving Kurogane to cover their backs and stop any Flame Spirits from following them inside. Growling, Kurogane stabbed forwards with his sword again. Just who was it that had decided that he'd play the part of bodyguard anyway?
"Wheet whoo! Kuro-tan is sure skilled with his sword!" Kurogane glared at the source of the voice, watching as the wizard nimbly avoided another Flame Spirit.
"Don't call me those stupid names! And don't say that sound!" He barked, jumping backwards to avoid being burnt to a crisp.
"But calling Kuro-pii funny names is so fun!" Fai laughed, ducking as a jet of fire shot over his head. >Stupid fool…even now, he's smiling.> Kurogane snarled in answer, too busy with his own opponent to focus too much on the magician's teasing.
>There must be some way to get rid of these things…> Glancing wildly around, Kurogane frowned as he realised that there wasn't anything that he could sue to destroy the demons. Water would have been good, but there wasn't a pool in site.
"Oi! Don't you have any ideas!" He bellowed at Fai. The other man looked up, grin widening even further.
"Why would I? I've never seen anything like these things in my life!" He said brightly.
"Well, you're useless." Kurogane snarled in irritation, turning back to his own battle. He didn't notice the way Fai's face darkened, the wizard's smile shrinking until it was nothing more than a sad quirk of the lips.
"You're right, Kuro-chan. I am useless." He murmured softly, twisting so that a burning claw missed its target. Looking at the demonic spirit again, Fai's mouth suddenly opened in an 'o' as he saw something glinting inside the Flame Spirit's forehead.
Praying that he wasn't wrong, Fai leapt at his attacker, steeling himself for what was yet to come.
A muffled cry of pain drew Kurogane's attention, and he looked up from his battle, red eyes widening as he saw what Fai was doing.
The wizard had plunged his unprotected hand into the burning flames of the spirit's head, wincing as the fire burnt his delicate skin. Grasping the sparkling stone that he'd seen before, he yanked his hand out, watching in satisfaction as the demon disappeared into thin air.
Before Kurogane could even blink, Fai was between him and the other Flame Spirit, hand darting forward into the flames once again. Hissing in agony, Fai grabbed at the stone, tearing it from the demon's head. The spirit let out an angry scream that was cut off as it vanished.
Letting out a small whimper, Fai dropped to his knees, cradling his burnt hand. Kurogane crouched down next to him, wincing as he saw how red and angry it looked.
"I don't understand you…" He muttered, still staring at the scorched flesh. Fai looked at him, a smile once more pasted across his face.
"It's not hard to get, Kuro-rin. I just noticed something sparkly in the spirits, and realised that it was their source of power." Fai grinned. Kurogane frowned at him in return.
"That's not what I meant…"
"Kurogane-san! Fai-san! We got the feather!" Syaoran's voice rang out from the temple, and the two men looked up to see the rest of their group walking down the temple steps.
"I have another memory back, and…Fai-san!" Sakura gasped as she saw Fai's hand, and ran down to him, closely followed by Syaoran.
"Fai-san, what happened?" She exclaimed, covering her mouth.
"It's nothing, Sakura-chan. I just got a little burnt during the fight." Fai smiled reassuringly at her, using his uninjured hand to push some of her hair back from her face. The girl gazed at him, concern still evident in her emerald eyes.
Behind them, Kurogane and Syaoran stood together, both watching as Fai continued smiling as if nothing was wrong.
"What happened?" Syaoran asked quietly, amber eyes examining the scene. Kurogane looked away, grunting.
"The idiot realised that the spirits' life source is a stone in their heads, so he pulled it out using his bare hands." He snorted. Syaoran looked up at him, a serious expression on his face.
"Whatever he is, Fai-san is nowhere near an idiot." He stated.
"Huh?" Kurogane glanced down at the solemn boy, raising an eyebrow.
"Fai-san has proven time and time again that he is more than ordinary. Although he has a playful side, he knows when it's time to be serious, and focus on the path ahead. An idiot wouldn't be able to understand the importance of this."
Kurogane stared at Syaoran for a moment, before looking back at Fai. The blonde was talking to Sakura, holding Mokona on his lap with his unharmed hand. Glancing up at the quiet pair, Fai smiled and tilted his head to the side, looking carefree and worriless.
"Mokona thinks it's time to go to another world!" Mokona chirped, beginning to bounce up and down. Syaoran nodded and walked over to Fai, bending down so that they were on eye level.
"Hopefully, the next world will have something we can use to treat your hand, Fai-san." He said softly. Fai blinked, before shaking his head.
"It's alright, Syaoran-kun. You don't need to worry about me – I'm fine."
As Mokona rose into the air, beginning to create the portal, Kurogane kept his eyes on the smiling wizard. >Even now, you won't let anyone show concern for you.>
"Fai-san, let me bandage your hand for you." Sakura said softly, sitting down at the table with their stash of medical supplies that they'd gathered. Fai paused a moment, before nodding and sitting down next to her. He knew that a refusal would simply end up wasting time, as Sakura would end up doing it anyway.
This time, Mokona had dropped them in what seemed to be a much friendlier world…somewhere called Romansu. It appeared to be just like the Hanshin Republic, minus the kudan and gang fights. This had made it easier to work out how to rent a couple of rooms, and where to get some more supplies.
Mokona had told them that the feather was very near to them, so the group were feeling optimistic, feeling that they may not need to spend long in this world…a fact that Fai was extremely thankful for – the quicker he could journey through worlds, the harder it would be for him to be found.
He suddenly gasped as Sakura dabbed the salve on his hand, and she looked up quickly.
"Am I hurting you, Fai-san?" She asked in concern. Fai shook his head, smiling bravely at her.
"It's ok Sakura-chan. Just carry on, I'll be fine." Nodding, Sakura carried on with her work, being careful not to put too much pressure on the sore skin.
Kurogane watched from his position by the fireplace, frowning slightly to himself. It was strange…today he'd been watching Fai a lot. And to his surprise, he'd found himself noticing a lot of things about the blonde cat lover.
Although he'd realised long ago just how fake Fai's smile was, he'd never really noticed how reluctant the wizard was for anyone to be worried about him…or how he seemed to have so little regard for his own safety.
Snorting, he turned his head aside, determined to ignore the other from now on. >What do I care, anyway? He's just an annoying fool. >
"Wheet whoo! This room's very nice, isn't it Kuro-woof?" Fai commented, looking around the room that he'd be sharing with the black ninja. Kurogane simply grunted, already pulling his shirt off in preparation for sleep.
Fai smiled softly at the gruff man, and turned to his own bed, starting to remove his own clothes. At least, trying to.
"Ahh!" Fai hissed in pain as his burnt hand refused to cooperate, and pouted down at his clothes. The hand he'd burnt was his right, which meant that it would be a lot harder to get undressed.
A shadow suddenly loomed over him, and the next thing he knew, Kurogane was unbuttoning his tunic.
"Wha…? Kuro-pun, what are you doing?" He smiled, looking up at the ninja in mild confusion.
"What does it look like? It's obvious that you can't do this yourself with that injured hand, so…"
"Oh, it makes me happy that Kuro-wan cares so much for me!" Fai cheered.
"Shut up, or I leave you to do this yourself." Kurogane growled. Fai fell quiet, but carried on grinning.
"You know, I meant what I said today. I just don't understand you." Kurogane murmured as he began to pull the tunic off. Fai looked up at him, looking puzzled.
"But I explained it to you, Kuro-kichi! Don't you get it yet?" Fai asked.
Kurogane growled in exasperation, throwing practically ripping the tunic from the wizard in his anger.
"Not the damned stones! You!" He exclaimed. Fai blinked in confusion.
"Now I don't understand, Kuro-pii."
Kurogane grabbed Fai's wrist, lifting the arm with the injured hand.
"This! You did this to yourself! You just plunged your hand straight into those flames!" He snapped.
"But Kuro-tan, every time you sliced the spirits up, they just healed themselves! The only way to beat them was to remove the stone!" Fai protested.
Kurogane glared at him.
"But not with your hands! You weren't even wearing those long gloves of yours! We could have just used those pieces of rock on the ground to get the stones out!" He growled.
Fai looked down, shrugging slightly.
"I didn't really think about that. It doesn't matter if I get hurt anyway." He said quietly.
The next thing he knew, he was pinned on the bed, with Kurogane lying on top of him.
"Don't you dare say anything like that! I've seen you out there when we fight…you always pause before dodging an attack, as though you don't whether you should just let it hit you or not! You do stupid things without caring about what happens to you, like today! You're just wasting your life!"
Fai gazed back up at him, taken aback slightly by the vehemence in Kurogane's voice. Unsure of what he could say, he activated his defence mechanism – his smile.
"And stop hiding behind those fake smiles of yours!" Kurogane bellowed. Fai's smile faltered, and his crystal blue eyes widened as he realised that Kurogane had seen behind his mask.
"I…fake smiles?" He said weakly. Kurogane stared angrily down at him, not about to let him squirm out of a serious discussion this time.
"Yes. Fake smiles. Jeez, you're a regular mystery man, aren't you? You won't say anything more about your world except that there's a guy called Ashura after you, you hide yourself from everyone, and you don't care if you get hurt!"
Fai swallowed uncomfortably, beginning to desperately want out of the conversation. The mere mention of Ashura's name was enough to instil fear in him, and he really didn't want to be having this talk in the first place. >For once in my life, I'm regretting choosing to be Kuro-rin's roommate. >
"Like I said, it doesn't matter if I get hurt anyway." He replied, managing to keep his voice even. Kurogane snapped.
"Of course it does, you fool! You may not believe it, but you have people who care about you!" He roared.
Fai smiled up at him tiredly.
"People like you, Kurogane?" He asked calmly. Kurogane stared at him for a moment, surprised by the fact that the wizard had actually used his proper name. Then, he grinned down wolfishly at the man trapped beneath him.
"Yes. People like me." He said, swooping down to capture the blonde's lips with his own.
Later, Kurogane would never be able to understand exactly why he did it. After all, he'd spent the best part of 6 months complaining about the Seresu wizard and how annoying he was. But somewhere along the way, he'd realised, scorn had turned to friendship, which had, dare he say it, then developed into love.
When he first kissed Fai, he'd felt the other man tense up beneath him, and had reluctantly released his lips, beginning to move away. But to his surprise, Fai had let out a small cry and pulled him back down, crushing their lips together once again.
Relieved, Kurogane had begun to kiss back, the pair's lips moving against each other desperately until they were forced to part due to lack of air. Panting slightly, the two had rested their forehead together, waiting until they had caught their breath before talking.
"Wow." Fai's voice was more than a little awed, and Kurogane found himself smiling widely, tenderly pushing a few strands of blonde hair out of the wizard's face.
"Yeah."
"I never thought you had it in you, Kuro-min." Fai murmured. He was smiling again, but this one was sincere, and Kurogane was delighted to finally see the mage's real smile.
"If you'd asked me a couple of months ago, I wouldn't have either. You make me behave in a totally different way than normal." Kurogane said honestly. Fai smiled, and wriggled round so that Kurogane was lying next to him instead of on top of him.
"I thought you said you hated me, Kuro-pan."
"I said I hated people like you, not you specifically. I haven't hated you in a long time…I think the first time I realised that I wanted you as a comrade was when I pushed you out of the way of that damn witch's acid spheres." Kurogane replied.
"Is that what I am to you then? A comrade?" Fai's question, although sounding innocent, held hidden meanings, and Kurogane gulped, unsure of what to say – he'd never been in a situation like this until he met Fai.
"Yes…and no. Yes, because you're a friend of mine…and no, because since Oto, I've wanted you to be more than that." Fai lifted his head slightly, staring at the swordsman in mild shock.
"Since Oto? For that long?"
Kurogane nodded.
"Ever since that demon attacked you, and you got injured, I realised that my emotions were screwed up around you. And when we thought that Seishirou had killed you…I was devastated, even though I didn't show it. It was then that I realised…I cared for you more than a friend."
Kurogane broke off, a dark blush staining his cheeks. He couldn't believe the way he was acting…he was a ninja, damnit! And ninja's weren't meant to go spilling out emotions left, right and centre!
"Aww! I always knew Kuro-wanko loved me!" Fai sighed dramatically, eyes sparkling. Kurogane snorted, and began to get up off the bed.
"I knew I shouldn't have said anything." He grumbled. Fai was sitting up instantly, grabbing hold of Kurogane's arm before the ninja could leave him.
"I'm sorry, Kuro-chin. I didn't mean to offend you." He pleaded. Kurogane sighed and sat back down, raking a hand through his dark hair.
"It's not you, really…it's just…I've never felt like this about anyone before…I don't know what to do."
Fai's eyes softened.
"It's alright, Kuro-tako. When you're love, you don't need to understand it. You just go along with the flow." He smiled. Kurogane looked at him.
"So you've been in love before then?"
Fai's smile slowly faded from his face, and he looked at his hands silently.
"A long time ago…" Kurogane realised that it was a touchy subject for the wizard, and he wrapped his arms around Fai, holding him close.
"It didn't end well?" He asked softly. Fai shook his head.
"No…"
"It'll be ok, Fai. We'll stay together." Kurogane whispered.
Fai looked at him, an expression of pure delight on his face.
"You called me Fai! I can't ever remember you doing that before!" He exclaimed. Kurogane frowned slightly, nodding.
"I think you may be right. Would you prefer if I call you that, then?"
Fai nodded shyly, before biting his lip.
"Do you want me to stop giving you pet names?" He questioned. Kurogane thought about it, then chuckled.
"You know, I can't imagine you calling me anything else now. You can keep calling me weird names…just not Kuro-wanko. I despise that one."
Fai laughed, and snuggled closer.
"Very well, Kuro-wan." Leaning back together onto the bed, the couple closed their eyes as they drifted off into sleep.
For the first time in months, they were happy.