Figment of Your Imagination
By: Late-Sleeper
"WHAT HAPPEN TO THE DAMN BRAT!"
I grabbed on to Tohma's coat as I glared at him. He looked down at me. He's acting pretty weird. Something is up. I know it because he's not wearing that trade mark smile of his. Something is definitely wrong.
"Shindou-kun is…"
"Fuck! Cut the drama and just tell me what the hell happen to my brat."
He took my hands off his coat and gently walked away from me. Damn! I'm gonna kill that fucking bastard. I was up on my feet when I heard Tohma push the button of my message recorder. Shuichi's sweet voice flowed throughout the room.
"Yuki… I thought about what you've said. I know it wouldn't work out between us…you know with our work…"
I feel my heart leap a bit.
"…I've talked to Kazuya and we decided to work it out…"
My heart stops beating. This can't be happening.
"…Kazuya and I both decided to leave our job. I know it's quite crazy but…he'll try to find a les hectic job in some hospital or try some business with the money he earned from all these years of working non-stop. We could make it somehow…I know…as long as we're together I know we'll survive…"
I want to make it stop. I want to slam the damn thing. I want it…I want…I want him…
"…I know K-san would gonna kill me for ditching my career and all. I hate to face Hiro's wrath…so…we'll be leaving for the state or maybe we'll go to Europe or somewhere far. Somewhere they couldn't track us down…I know K-san could be a damn bloodhound sometimes so…"
Yes, somewhere far. Somewhere where I couldn't see you. He'd gonna take my Shuichi away…
"…I'd be sending you my wedding pictures but don't let K-san know about it, ok? I just wish that all of you could come to my wedding but…sigh…"
"…"
I just stared at Seguchi.
"…and Yuki thanks for the advice…goodbye."
Goodbye. It's so final.
No it can't be.
I want to see him again. And the next day…and the next…I want him near me.
I rush towards the door. I could feel Seguchi hot on my heel.
"Eiri, matte! There's something you need to know about Shindou-kun…" Tohma run as fast as he could to catch up with me, his favorite brother-in-law who's know heading towards his black car.
"…Shindou-kun…nothing is true. Kazuya doesn't exist!"
I felt everything stopped moving. I felt my whole body paralyze, my left hand leaning on the car's door
'…doesn't exist.' What the hell that supposed to mean? Is the brat putting all this up to make me jealous?'
As if for the longest time Tohma had finally caught up with me. I could hear his heavy pant and huff. "What do you mean he doesn't exist? Is the brat playing a trick on me?"
He was still panting very hard but he instantly looks up at me as I ask him. I still can't believe that the big boss of NG is still a puppy to my every whine and wishes. "No Eiri-san, Shindou-kun is not lying to you…"
Tohma straightened up and brush his coat from the invisible dust he only could see. I look puzzled at his answer, he could sense it to. "…as far as he's concern, Kazuya is real. Eiri-san Kazuya, Kazuya is just Shindou-kun's hallucination."
What the fucking hell was that?
I grabbed by bastard brother-in-law by the collar. I shook him from a bit. I glare straight to his shock eyes. "Explain."
I drop him down unceremoniously to the floor. I pulled a cigarette from my pocket and light it. I glare at Tohma. I could sense him shivering from my intense glare. Damn he should be.
"Shindou-kun has a mental disorder or some sort. Nakano-kun suspected of it first when Shindou-kun said he got a new boyfriend. We didn't want to ruin his career by confining him in a medical institution …"
I felt a nerve twitch on my temple. Business first he says…Fucking Tohma! Doesn't he know that he might endanger someone's life…my Shuichi's life.
"…we thought that bringing you back here would cure him. We all hope you could cure him…'cause you're the cause of it all."
Ashes from my cigarette had suddenly fallen in slow motion from my cigarette still clamp on my lips.
I'm the cause?
"We really thought he was cured when you came back because he no longer talks about the two of them. I never knew that it was this serious…that he's really have deep feelings for that gu…"
I punch him on the cheeks before he could continue on what he was saying. I can't handle it. I can't handle the truth.
oOoOoOo
Everything is a blur. I can't remember the details after I punched Tohma in the face or how I get here on this apartment. All I know is that on the other side of this door is Shuichi. The only thing that is separating me and Shuichi is this damn door.
I twisted the knob…I don't know why I didn't knock or how I knew that it's not lock is beyond me. All I know is that everything I'll do now is would be right.
Right for me, right for Shuichi. Nothing could go wrong from now on.
I stare at the ajar door leading to room, must be his bedroom. I saw Shuichi packing his clothes inside. I could see his mouth moving like he's talking to someone. I don't know who. I can't see who it was. I walk briskly towards him…towards them.
But I found no one. It's just Shuichi. No one else.
"Yuki."
Shuichi look up at me with wide eye. "Yuki..waht are you doing here? Oh…I want you to meet Kazuya…"
I felt something hot rolled down my cheeks and I found myself clutching Shuichi's lithe body hard against my own. I could hear him ask 'what's happening' as I find myself chanting to him 'everything would be fine from now on.'
I feel Shuichi's body tense and as I look over my shoulder two men hustle towards us…towards Shuichi. As the two guys pass my field of vision I saw Tohma and Hiro standing at the door with sorrowful expression.
A yelp from Shuichi snaps me from the trance I was in. The two men were literally dragging Shuichi off my hold. I wanted to growl at them but I know this is the right thing to do. "YUKIIIIIIIII!KAZUYA HELP ME PLEASE!"
I can't take it. I don't want to hear it.
"KAZUYA!KAZUYA HELP ME PLEASE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME? KAZUYAAAAAAAAA!"
I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear that name again.
Why didn't he yell my name? Why can't he call my name?
"Eiri-san." I felt a hand on my shoulder. "He'll be safe. I promise he'll be safe."
Finally from all this years I finally hope that Tohma's words were true.
He helped me stand on my feet. I look at him for a second or two then I look towards the redhead that was standing at the door.
"I love him."
I know Hiro was taken aback when I said it, so was Tohma. I just want let them know I love him, because I do. I really do.
oOoOoOoOo
"Shuichi, listen…listen please…Kazuya…he doesn't exist. It's just your imagination."
"NOOOO! You're lying! KAZUYA! KAZUYA!"
Shuichi shriek as loud as he can as I try to grab on to him but he's strong, I give him credit for that. He screams and screams until his throat hurts. He fell asleep after that and I was left here nursing a bruise on my cheek, a pain in my chest and a scratch on my arm.
I held his hand in mine. I promise myself nothing could move me from where I'm sitting.
After an hour I felt him move, signaling the awakening of my precious. I run a hand through his hair. I patiently waited for him to open his eyes.
"Shuichi." I mumble softly. He tense at the sound of my voice, I never thought that he'd react that way with me. I don't want him to be afraid of me.
"Shui…"
"Where's Kazuya?" He looks at me straight to the eyes with a very sad expression written on his beautiful face. I hate it when he's like this. You could see right through him, every bit of emotion. You could see it in his eyes; the sadness, betrayal, hurt, confusion and suddenly you yourself would be suck into his emotion enveloping you, trapping you.
"Shuichi…he's not real."
I hear him snort at my reply but I had to continue.
"He's never real. Shuichi, listen…"
"Prove it."
Shuichi look at me defiantly. Why is being like this? Why can't he believe me? Why can't he see the truth…?
"ok." I gave a loud sigh. It's better this way anyway. He must know the truth even if it hurts him.
oOoOoOoOo
"Turn left Yuki. We're already there. I'll prove to you that he's indeed true."
I followed Shuichi's direction where the hospital where Kazuya supposedly is working as a surgeon. I felt sick to think that Shuichi would be going to be heart broken in a few seconds. I don't want to see him break-down and cry.
"Stop here. That's the buil…"
Shuichi hurriedly open the car's door s I hurriedly halted the car. He runs towards the abandoned looking building with shock written all over his face. As I run towards him he fell to his knees, tears streaming on his eyes. He put his hands to cover his face, afraid that I might see him cry. 'Too late for that, Shuichi. '
I stood by his side as he continues to cry in silence. I feel the night breeze getting colder. We need to get back to the hospital before we froze to death here.
I knelt down beside him and wrap my arms around him. He didn't move, he just continued crying mutely. I snuggle to him closer and with that he too wraps his arms around me and wail. I smiled at that, now his being himself again.
"It was here. Yuki, this is where he works. There is so many people here even at this time. There are nurses…doctors…"
He talked between sobs, but I heard every single word he uttered. I didn't say anything I just let him continue. Maybe by this he would let go of all the emotion he bottled up.
"It can't be. Kazuya work here, how can this be an abandon building?"
I hug him tighter on my arms; I lean down and kiss his head. I rock our body slightly as he continues with his narrative.
"I can't be true…it's a lie! It's a lie!"
I rub his back gently as he scream. I didn't know what else to do, so I follow my instinct and gently rub his back in circular motion, he always massage me when I feel stress. Unexpectedly, it works. He calms down a bit. Everything was silent again, only the soft sound of the breeze and the gentle breathing of Shuichi and me.
"You know Yuki…I use to hang out here a lot. He would make me wait on his office then afterwards we would eat at the cafeteria…but I hate the food there."
I could feel Shuichi smile at the memories.
"…you know…we sometimes made love here, in his office, when he doesn't have a meeting or patients."
I was shock to hear that. 'Make love.'
I don't know what to think. I can't believe what I am hearing. He made love here? This is an abandon building for god sake. People may come and go; they might see him having….fuck! What if he's not alone?
I can't. I can't think anymore. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to remember him saying it.
No! It can't be.
I don't know what came over me but I feel tears streaming down my eyes. We both cried in the middle of the night in front of the abandon building where no living soul roam, only the two of us…only us.
oOoOoOoOo
It's been five months since Shuichi had been release. He went home with me and I made sure he stays that way… home with me.
I know he's not completely healed but as long as I stayed by his side I know he'll recover soon.
We have been a couple after we left the hospital. We spend each day with each other. It felt like before…before I left. He whines, I snarl. He sings, I write. I tried to make it as normal as we can be.
Whenever we get a chance we would go to a secluded place where only, I and he exist. We would cuddle all night until the morning break or make him moan until his throat hurts.
I love him. I know he knows I do.
But the problem lies if he feels the same way too.
I lay on top of him as I look straight on his eyes. I brush the fallen hair that's blocking my view of his beautiful face. He smiled at me. I smile back at him.
"Shuichi…"
He tense as I called his name, I know he knows what I am going to say…or ask. Whenever we're like this I couldn't help but ask the question. I just had to know.
"…do you still love him?"
He kept quiet like he always does whenever I ask him. He averted his gaze from me. Then and there I knew the answer.
I put my cheeks against his and snuggle closer to him as I brush my lips on his ear and whisper. "…I'm glad he's just an imagination 'coz I couldn't live knowing you had love someone more than you had love me."
I feel his tears run down his cheeks.
I could wait for him…I could wait for him to make me his only one.
I'd wait.
I promise I would.
OWARI