I stared at my great-great-great-great grandfather. Oh god, I don't have to call him that, do I? Daddy said that I should call him Grandpa Jesse.

I don't think so.

I mean, Nuclear Guy is a way better name than Jesse or – oh God – HECTOR. I shuddered. But fine, I'll call him Jesse if he luuuurves the name so much. Gawd.

"Oh my God! This is, like, sooooo weird. I mean, if you're my great-great-great-great grandfather then aren't you supposed to be, like, dead?"

They all stared at me like I'd just said something really stupid. Yeah, well… I'll show them.

I'LL SHOW THEM ALL!

Eventually.

"What?" I didn't like this one bit. These guys aren't even part of CeeCee's band of freaks – I mean my band of freaks. Mine. MINE, I TELL YOU! – And they're all acting like they're better than me!

IT'S NOT FAIR!

"Stop it! Stop it right now! I demand RESPECT!"

Suddenly they all stopped the whole ha-ha-we're-all-so-much-smarter-and-cooler-than-you-Kelly thing and looked shocked. It was, like, soooooo cool. I guess I'm good at this ordering people around business.

"What the- what was that?" Suze asked me.

"What was what?" I asked, annoyed that they still hadn't answered my question. I mean, come on, It's not like I asked them anything hard.

"Kelly, your eyes just flashed red," Paul explained.

"Oh," I said. "Well, what do you expect? I told not to mess with me, but you totally didn't listen! You just kept on looking at me like I'm this big freak, but hello I'm not the one who's glowing here."

They just kept staring at me, looking, like, totally shocked.

"What are you?" Suze finally asked.

I rolled my eyes. God, these guys are, like, sooooooo retarded.

"I'm a demon, duh!"

There was silence for a few seconds until Paul said, "Well, that figures."

"Isn't it great?" I beamed at him.

"But, this doesn't make any sense. Demons don't exist!" Suze cried.

I narrowed my eyes at her. Oh my God, she was, like, totally insulting me!

"Omigosh! That is soooooo offensive. TAKE HER AWAY!" I yelled, flinging my arms up in the air dramatically.

Nothing happened.

God, what is wrong with these people? And WHERE WERE MY SENTRIES? I should totally have some, then when I click my fingers and go 'take her away', they totally will. Wow, that'd be so cool.

"Fine then. Don't. See if I care!"

I glared at all of them, especially Jesse. "If you know her then why didn't you tell her about my kind, your daughter's kind? Why keep it a secret? Are you ashamed of us? Are you ashamed of me, your own granddaughter?"

"Yeah, about that," Suze piped up, turning to Jesse. "She is joking, right? I mean, you don't actually have any children, do you?"

I gave Suze a weird look. Why would I joke about something like that? God, she is SUCH a moron!

"No, she is right, Susannah, I do, or rather I did have a daughter, back when I was alive."

His eyes sort of glazed over then, like he was thinking about something or whatever. Ha, this was soooooooooo great, like a soap opera or something. Which is cool, 'cause I always though I'd make a good actress.

Suze was staring at Jesse like she couldn't believe what she was hearing; it was AWESOME!

"How, could you not tell me about something like this, Jesse?" Suze whispered dramatically.

"Because I was ashamed!" Jesse cried. "I was ashamed of myself for running away with a woman I barely knew and also for abandoning our illegitimate child."

"And probably for that thing with the man-veela, too," I added and Jesse turned bright red.

Suze looked really confused. "What thing-"

"SLATER SLEEPS WITH A TEDDY BEAR!" Jesse yelled suddenly.

All eyes turned to Paul, who went just as red as Jesse just had. "Wha… ! No I don- but, but the man-veela! What about the man-veela? Fine then, I admit it. How do you even know about that anyway?"

Jesse's eyes went shifty. "Er, well…"

I suddenly got fed up of the attention not being on me. "Are you two together?" I asked Jesse and Suze.

"We were," Jesse said, but then his face darkened, but not, like, literally, because that would have been weird. Unless he was, like, half chameleon or something. "But I am not so sure now that I know Susannah has been cheating on me with that-" He said some weird Spanish stuff that I didn't understand 'cause it was, like, in Spanish or something.

"Speaking of Adam, where is he?" I asked.

"I'm here," Adam said, raising a hand and coming forward. "And, no I have no idea what any of you are talking about."

"God, Adam," I said, "No need to give us your life story. We were just checking that you hadn't, you know, died or anything."

Adam shrank back into the background, looking disappointed.

"Jesse," Suze said, picking up where we left off, "I can explain! We were so lonely with CeeCee gone that we needed to do something about it. So we decided to try and make her jealous. That was all it was Jesse, I swear!"

Whatever! God, that excuse was sooooooo stupid. Like anybody would actually try to make someone jealous by making out in a stock cupboard. As if!

Jesse seemed to believe it, though. "Oh, querida!" he cried, "I never doubted you for a second."

Yeah, I bet you didn't. Paul and I exchanged knowing looks, which was sooooooo cool, 'cause I've never exchanged a knowing look with Paul before. I don't know why.

"So are you two back together now?" I asked and they nodded, as they reached out and held each other's hands. Which I guess was kind of sweet. Maybe.

Bleh.

Suddenly I grinned evilly as a thought crossed my mind. "Hey, if you two got married then that would make you my step-great-great-great-great grandmother, Suze!"

(A/N: lol, thanks to Hazel Eyed Dreamer for pointing that out)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

That is soooooooooo funny. Even Paul was laughing. Adam was too, but I glared at him and he shut up.

Suze looked really horrified, which just made the whole thing funnier.

When we FINALLY stopped laughing Suze said in this annoyed voice, "So what are we going to do about CeeCee? Since the whole making out in a stock cupboard thing didn't seem to work."

Oh, didn't it? I wonder WHY?

"Oh, don't worry about that," I said lightly. "Paulie over here has it covered. Don't you, Paulie?"

I think we can forget about Nuclear Guy, 'cause Paul's the real superhero, here! You can always rely on him to save the day!

"Actually, I don't. I've decided that I can't do it. There is no way I am going to shoot my girlfriend. And I'm resigning from Horns of the Devil LTD. It wasn't doing so well anyway, I didn't manage to assassinate one person."

My eyes widened. How could he do this to me? This was soooooooo unfair! "But you promised," I said, tears springing to my eyes. "You told me you'd kill CeeCee!"

At this point, Jesse started to look confused. "You mean, you are going out with CeeCee?" he asked Paul.

Paul nodded.

"So you are not chasing after Susannah anymore?"

"Er… no," Paul said.

"And there was really no need for the boulder, the machine gun, the piano or the swordfight?"

"Probably not."

"Oh," Jesse said, "sorry about that."

Wait, so the reason Jesse was pissed enough at Paul to roll a huge boulder after him, shoot at him with a machine gun, try to crush him with a piano and challenge him to a swordfight was just because he was he didn't like the fact that Paul fancied Suze? Uh… was that romantic or creepy?

Suddenly a thought hit me.

"Wait!" I cried. "You mean, YOU'RE the one who sent a giant boulder rolling after Paul so that CeeCee had to rescue him so he asked her out so CeeCee got really popular and made all our lives miserable?"

Jesse looked guilty. "Er… yes?"

"You mean this is all YOUR fault?" Suze asked, looking like she could hardly believe it. I didn't blame her, my own grandfather, who'd have thought it?

"Um… maybe."

"Gee, thanks, granddad," I said, but I was being sarcastic because I didn't really mean it.

What was I going to do about this now that Paul wasn't going to kill CeeCee for me? God, this was sooooooo annoying! I couldn't even out Paul about being Ike Eelyu because he wasn't Ike Eelyu anymore! Which was a shame, because it was a really hot name.

That was it; I was going to have to kill CeeCee myself.

Only, how could I, when she had that huge army of clone girls to back her up?

Suddenly it hit me. To fight an army, I was going to have to have an army of my own. Hmm…

I couldn't believe I was doing this. Stooping so low, I mean. I was gorgeous, I was special… demon blood has to make you special, right? And daddy always said I was special, and he'd totally never lie to me. And so, I, like, totally was still cool… whatever those losers at school thought. Who cared what they thought, anyway?

Not me!

Well… maybe a bit. But the fact remained, I was still better than some people there… and I was totally going to use it to my advantage.

Suckers!

Which is why I was standing behind a randomly placed podium, being all cool and sneaky and stealthy and stuff, watching them. My first victims, I mean.

One of said victims reached out with a hand that was like, as pale as milk… and put it around the little white wooden thing, moving it in a, like, weird L shape. "My knight puts your king in check," he said nasally, punching the air with his hand.

…Freak. I seriously had to be reaching low here. I'd better never be one of these total losers! What where they even playing? Geeks n Dragons R Us?

Haha, good one, Kelly!

The guy sitting opposite the nerd glared and sat staring at the pieces. For like five minutes, seriously. Hello? Have they ever heard of 'boring'? I could watch one of them shell things… a snail… move and it'd be more exciting than this. And more disgusting… they leave pretty glowy trails, but where must they come out of? Ewww.

This was all totally Paul's fault for bailing out on me. You can't just STOP being an assassin! And you can't just stop calling yourself Ike! I'm like, so totally mad at him.

But it's also grandpa Jesse's fault too. Hello, who even rolls boulders at people any more? That's so… Looney Tunes!

In another part of the room, these kids were sitting with books as big as their head, saying things in, like, really big words. What was the need? Show-offs! Who uses big words anyway? They're so last year!

I glanced at my piece of paper. I'd totally been preparing for this last night, and writing. Then I remembered that writing is lame, so I drew cool little doodles of Paul shooting CeeCee and her clone army.

I want my own clone army!

Focus, Kelly, focus… I can't make clones. If I make clones then I won't be as special! But I WILL have my army! They WILL do my bidding! We WILL rule the world!

…Or the school, anyway.

"May I have your attention!" I said. We'd totally done this at school once when we had a fire drill, and this was way more important.

The nerds stopped what they were doing and turned to me like… a big group of nerds. Well, it's what they were, after all.

"I'm Kelly Prescott," I began, and already they had the audacity to interrupt me!

"Is she not the girl whose prior social stance was equivalent to what CeeCee Webb's is right now?"

What did that mean? I was going to yell at them, when another nerd broke in.

"Except she did not spent all of her time surrounded by doppelgangers!"

"But technically, they're not doppelgangers, are they? Although the amount of powder applied to their faces gives the appearance of ghostliness, they're not technically ghosts, so they can't be a doppelganger, however much they appear to haunt the current-"

That was it! I'd had enough!

"SILENCE!" I yelled. How dare they interrupt me with their smart talk? They'd obviously been reading a dictionary for fun. They aren't just losers… they're like… such EXTREME losers!

"Okay," I announced, glaring at them, "It's like this… CeeCee Webb is, like, a total freak. And now she's more popular than me, and it's not fair, because I'm the super cute, adorable person. And I have special powers and stuff. She just has special powders. White ones. That make her look like even more of a freak. So she, like, can't stay at the top of the…" I gestured, trying to think of a word.

"Hierarchy?" suggested one of the nerds.

"…Whatever," I said. "And it's only a matter of time before she thinks she can boss US around and make us into her clones! And that's not on, because, hello, who wants to be like her?"

A female nerd shifted uncomfortably. I narrowed my eyes. The others stayed still.

"What is it that you propose we do?" asked one of the nerds who'd spoken before. He looked strangely familiar…

"Who the hell are you?" I asked.

"David Ackerman," he informed me gravely. Ewww. That means he'd totally be somehow related to me if Suze got married to my grandpa! Nerd relatives! The humanity! They would have to be stopped!

But so would CeeCee. And she was first on my hit list. (Wow, having a hit list is like sooooooo cool!)

"Well, she's just going to boss you around. And I'm here to stop that."

"But then YOU'LL just boss us around!"

There was a moment of silence. "…So?"

"What makes you better than her?"

Um, how about everything? It's so… obvious! So, I don't even answer the loser.

"She has an army of clones!" I cried passionately. "An ARMY! We can fight back with our own army!"

"I've been chess champion for two years," one nerd announced shyly. "I'd like to think that I'm a decent strategist."

"…Shut up," I told him impatiently. I wasn't done yet! "I am better than you, and so you will serve me and my army, and you WILL do my bidding, damnit!"

"Her oculus' have become crimson!"

"Perhaps she is some sort of chameleon, for they do seem to share many attributes…"

"WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?" I demanded, affronted by the weird long words that now seem to be, like, crawling into my vocabulary… ew, nerdiness!

"Your eyes have gone red…" one of them whimpered.

I gave them a weird look. "Well, duh. They've only been doing it for, like, the past five chapters."

"Chapters?" one nerd asked.

"I mean days," I corrected myself. "Now… who's with me? Who swears to help in our cool attempt to like, suppose CeeCee's army?"

"You mean 'oppose'," replied another of the nerds.

"That's what I said, stupid. I'll ask again: WHO'S WITH ME?"

They all exchanged nervous looks, then their hands all rose into the air as one…

Oh, yeah. I rock.

"Great!" I said, hopping down from behind the podium. I turned to give them one last demonic smile, and saw that one of them still had his hand up.

"You can put your hand down now, you know," I informed him.

"I… I… think I'm going to be-"

But he didn't say any more, because he like, tossed his lunch up on the floor. Who knew he liked carrots? Eww! Didn't need to know that…

"Well," I told the nerds cheerfully, "while we're pointing-"

"Appointing," corrected a nerd absent-mindedly.

"-appointing," I emphasized with a glare, "jobs to all of you… I should totally pick one of you for a part-time cleaner."

They all totally exchanged horrified expressions again.

"What have we gotten ourselves into?" one whispered dramatically, like it was the end of the world or something. (As if! That's my popularity TOTALLY ending!)

"More than you'd like to know," I told them, and totally, like, went back to my evil laugh.

Today, I decided, was really looking up!

A/N: Sorry it took so long. Thanks to everyone who reviewed.

Marie, if you're going to review again, please remember to sign out of my account first please.

Review!