To the people who were 'offended' by my joke: GET OVER IT. It wasn't even intended to trick you guys. And I don't classify C&J fics as real PD fics because they're based on the sucky movie characters. In case you hadn't noticed, the PD section is in the BOOK category. It's not because Clarisse and Joe aren't the main characters. If you wanted to write about Grandmere and Lars hooking up, I'd be all for it. You could even make Michael gay, and I'd probably love it. But movie fics don't belong in the book section. Period.
So get over it. I don't give a shit if you hate me and think I'm childish. That's your problem. I sleep fine at night.
And for the wonderful people who are reading the story, not just the authors note, this is the second and final part.
After two movies, Lilly and I were sprawled out on the couches talking about Boris.
"You know," I said to her. "Sometimes I don't get how you can be with him. I'm sorry, but I think he's a little weird..."
"You're a little weird," Lilly bit back. She hates when I say something bad about her boyfriend.
"I wasn't finished," I told her, scowling a little. "But he's a nice guy, and at least you're not going to die alone like some people."
"And by some people you mean...?"
"Well, me," I said, feeling more than a little embarrassed about admitting my loserness.
Instead of coming over to my side of the couch and patting me of the back, or giving me some words of encouragement like Tina did, all Lilly did was laugh at me.
Seriously, she burst out laughing so much that she couldn't control it. She had tears running down her face a minute later.
"It's not funny!" I snapped. "This is my future and I'm being completely serious. I can't even find a date to Grandmere's ball tomorrow night. How am I supposed to find a life partner?"
"Mia," she finally said. "Trust me, you're not going to die alone."
"How do you know? Lana told me that statistics have proven that people without boyfriends by the time they're fourteen will die alone!"
"Lana said that? Well you know Lana. She's just trying to cause trouble. Believe me, when the time comes, you'll find someone who's crazy enough to be crazy about you."
"You really think?"
"I know," she said matter of factly, glancing over my shoulder at the door.
I quickly spun around, thinking someone was there. But all I saw was a shadow moving quickly down the hallway. It must have been Pavlov.
"Let's go to bed," Lilly announced, standing up. "How about you make us some hot chocolates and I'll make up your bed."
"Sure," I said, standing up too. "I'll be right in."
When I was waiting for the kettle to boil in the kitchen, Michael walked in.
"What are you making?" he asked, leaning over to inspect what was at the bottom of the mugs in front of me.
"Hot chocolates. Want one?"
"Sure."
He stood there watching me as I poured the water into the mugs. I felt self conscious under his gaze and hoped there wasn't a stray booger hanging from my nose or a tuft of hair that just wouldn't sit down.
I handed him the warm mug and he just stared at me.
"What?" I asked, wiping my nose just in case. Nope, nothing there.
"Ok, I gotta talk to you about something," he said finally, after taking a long sip of his drink. "Sit down."
"Um, ok." I sat down on one side of the table, and he sat at the other, right opposite me.
Uncomfortable, I looked down at my drink and focused on that.
"So, I heard you talking with Lilly before," he said simply.
Shit! So that was HIM in the hallway before, not Pavlov!
I dared myself to look up at him, my mouth a little open in shock and horror. I didn't say anything.
He smiled at my reaction. "I wasn't eavesdropping, I swear. I was just on my way past going to my bedroom when I heard Lilly laughing hysterically. I couldn't help but listen in to see what it was that made her laugh so much. She never laughs like that when I tell her jokes. That's why I quit making jokes."
I still didn't reply. What am I expected to say? All that's going through my head right now is a high pitched scream. One that I would like to voice, but can't.
He shifted uncomfortably in his seat at the fact that I haven't said one word. "Look, all I wanted to say was that I don't think you're going to die alone. You're a wonderful person, any guy would be lucky to be with you."
"Thanks," I finally choked out, finding my tongue. "But sometimes it's hard to stay positive when I can't even find a date to the stupid ball tomorrow night."
"Well," he said, standing up and heading over to the sink with his now empty mug. "If you're having trouble finding a date, I'd be happy to help out. You'd settle for a friend, right? And I already have a tux. What do you say?"
"Sure!" I squeaked again, not believing my luck. And "settling" for a friend? Please. That is so not the case here. Not the friend part, I mean the settling part.
He smiled and started for the door.
"Maybe you can be my back up too," I muttered under my breath, completely wishful thinking.
"What was that?" he asked, turning back around.
My whole face turned beetroot red. He wasn't supposed to hear that!
"Um...nothing?"
"What's a back up?" he asked, leaning against the wooden doorframe and looking intently at me. A tiny smirk played at the edges of his lips.
"Oh, it's just something stupid Tina was telling me about earlier."
"And?"
"Well, she has a back up. If she's not married or in a serious relationship by the time she's thirty, she'll marry a guy called Jeremy. It's stupid really, I was only joking around."
He considered this for a minute while I slowly died inside. I can't believe I just told him all that! He probably thinks I'm the biggest idiot ever. Which, of course, I am.
"All right, Thermopolis, deal."
"Wha--what?" I asked, losing my voice once more. "What are you talking about?"
"What you just said. If you're not married or in a serious relationship with someone by the time you're thirty, I'll marry you."
"You're kidding, aren't you? Why would you want to marry me?"
Especially when he can his pick of wife?
"Why wouldn't I?"
"Do you really want me to make a list of the reasons? We'll be here all night."
"Mia, you really have to stop thinking of yourself in such a negative way. Any guy would love to be with you...and that includes me."
My heart stopped and I struggled to take a deep breath. "Michael, I'll stop thinking negatively of myself when you stop pretending that you want to be with me. It's not funny."
"Didn't I already tell you I don't make jokes?" He took a few steps towards me.
"So if this isn't you joking around, then what is it?" I waited anxiously for his reply, trying to ignore the fact that he was now only a step away from me.
"It's me, and it's you...Mia, it's us...Isn't that what you want?"
Holy crap! Was he smoking something when he was cooped up in his room all night? What is going on?
Before I got the chance to ask him that very question, he took that final step and bent down to kiss me.
Amd when he finally pulled back, leaving me in shock, a voice from the doorway called out, "Told you you wouldn't be dying alone. Now where's my ho cho?"
Hot chocolate? Who cares about hot chocolate when I have a date for tomorrow night, a back up AND a possible boyfriend?
Flames because of my joke will only be laughed at.