Vive la Difference

It was the night of the summer solstice. Coincidentally, the Earth was currently at aphelion, and Hogwarts, shielded by distance, magic, and the entire bulk of the planet, was as far away from the sun as possible.

The moon blinked faintly, casting thin shadows as the entire teaching staff assembled on the lawn. Confused at first by the unusual nocturnal activity, it quickly hid behind a cloud, drawing a welcome shroud of darkness over the castle as it recognized the ritual. Midnight was approaching. The air hummed with small, sourceless noises. Reality's ties were weakening fast.

The conditions, in other words, were perfect.

Headmaster Dumbledore, muffled up in a knobby scarf with glittery purple tassels, scattered a few dozen floating candles around the crowd and unrolled a giant sheet of parchment.

"This is what it should look like," he said. "Minerva, you and Filius widen the lake. Professor Sinistra and I will be adjusting the actual building..."

"Can we have a clock tower?" asked Professor Flitwick, studying the map.

Several candles clustered helpfully around the walking patch of darkness that was Professor Snape. He frowned irritably and batted them out of the way.

Professor McGonagall's pinched face and grim demeanor may have been accounted for by the fact that her own quarters were slated to be moved to the other side of the castle. "Albus," she said, "I know the annual change is traditional, but this is entirely too much. The Whomping Willow has been in that courtyard for years--"

"Where it's a constant danger to unwary students," Madame Pomfrey interrupted. "It's high time that menace was shifted out of the way. It's not even as though we still had a use for it--"

"Oh, we'll keep the tunnel, Poppy," smiled Dumbledore. "It may still come in handy. I'll work on the secret passages myself. The Weasleys found them again too easily last term. I must be slipping."

"Shocking," deadpanned Snape.

"I want a clock tower," said Flitwick.

"Reasons aside," chided McGonagall, "we're talking about changing the entire face of Hogwarts, and then going on as if the students won't notice!"

"You give them too much credit, Professor," said Snape sourly. "I doubt they'd notice if the whole building disappeared, so long as the Quidditch pitch was still intact."

"You're taking it rather better than usual," sniped McGonagall.

He shrugged. "As long as my dungeon doesn't end up in the Owlery again..."

"Now," said Dumbledore, "I think we'll put Hagrid's house on the cliff. A Stonehenge motif might be nice as well. Nothing keeps a student's mind alert like frolicking around in the shadow of ten tonnes of precariously balanced granite..."

"I want a clock tower," squeaked Flitwick, jumping up and down.

"We'll put one in right above the Great Hall. If all goes well, this shouldn't take over twenty minutes." The Headmaster's smile was manic. "Well, come on, everyone. We've got landscaping to do!"

Sometimes, Snape thought, I really wonder if he's on the side of Good after all.