Title- So You Want to Be a Chef
Chapter 1- The Dolphin
AN- I'm a baaaaaaaad authoress. I haven't finished my other stories, and I'm starting on a new one. Someone shoot me. How about making a run for the border/ How about me deserving a break today/ How about getting some fries with my order/ How about finally letting me have it my way
Thank you Burger King/ Thank you Dairy Queen/ Thank you, thank you KFC Thank you Pizza Hut/ Thank you Taco Bell/ Thank you so much Wendy's
- "Fast Food", Weird Al Yankovic
"Hey, Naruto-kun!"
"How ya doin', Uzumaki?"
"Hello Naruto-kun!"
"Early again, Naruto?"
The blonde haired boy just grinned and waved at the cooks, who all stopped cooking to greet him. "Exactly how early am I today, Ino-chan?"
A blonde waitress who was carrying a large tray with drinks breezed past him and out the swinging doors. "About half an hour!" she called back over her shoulder without even looking at a clock.
A tall chef with wiry muscles pushed Naruto out a second set of doors. "Out, out! I know you want to start early, boy, but we've got to earn out cash and you're in the way!"
"I'm going, I'm going!" Naruto pushed the man off him, before pointing out wickedly, "Hey Zabuza-san, something's burning."
"Shit..." Zabuza muttered. "No, no, No! Inari, turn down the flame. Did you stir it like I told you to?"
"Um..."
Naruto cackled evilly as he left the huge kitchen. He hadn't meant to get his friend in trouble, but Zabuza was scary when he was in his "boss chef" mood. Walking into the manager's office, he set down his backpack, sat in one of the poofy chairs, and waited, drumming his fingers on the side of the table. 'Hm. I wonder if Iruka-nii-san would let me waiter...' he thought. 'I haven't done that in awhile.'
For his entire life Naruto had dreamt of being a famous chef. Unfortunately, he had never gotten the money to go to a culinary school and was forced to learn the hard way- watching others, then practicing at home. He would watch the chefs from behind the scenes by sneaking into the kitchens of different types of restaurants. Sometimes a chef would be kind enough to show him how to make it, or give him the recipe. Most of the time, however, he had to watch them warily, noting in his head which ingredient they used, how much they used, how they prepared it. Over time he gained an almost-photographic memory.
However, his favorite restaurant by far was the seclusive Dolphin. The Dolphin was a high-class restaurant that served any type of food imaginable; from Italian to Japanese, from Thai to American. He snuck into that restaurant so often that finally, he was caught by no one less than the founder of the luxurious establishment. It would be a little bit of an understatement to say that he was shocked when Umino Iruka (that was the founder's name) offered Naruto a job.
Veeeeery little.
And so, Naruto found himself emerged in a world so unlike his own- where staff are like family, and you can talk to anyone freely, even Umino-san. But Naruto soon discarded that title for a more relaxed one. A much more relaxed one. Iruka-nii-san. Needless to say, some people were shocked, but most got over it. Him and the owner really did become as close as brothers.
One year later, Naruto had quickly worked up from a busboy, to a host, to a waiter, then to what he had always wanted to do- working in the kitchen. Zabuza and Anko, the two head chefs, were pleased with the fact that they only had to tell him how to do it once, and he would to it almost perfectly (I say almost perfectly because there was a little incident involving a explosion and a very large turkey at Thanksgiving). Some of the customers even requested that he make their food (even a few important customers). And so, at the young age of eighteen, Naruto fulfilled his dream and was living it with pride. Sure, he wasn't making tons of money, and he wasn't world-renown, but he had found better things. He had found a family and a little taste of happiness.
"Naruto?" A man with soft brown hair in a ponytail and a scar across his nose walked into the room. He smiled widely. "Ino told me you came early again."
Naruto just sighed and shrugged. "It's not like I had anything better to do. I was just sitting there, thinking about ramen and how I would like to make little sugar mice sometime when I thought, 'Hey! Why don't I go early today?' So here I am. Uzukami Naruto, reporting for duty, sir!" He jumped up and made a snappy salute.
"I see you're doing well today. Naruto, would you do me a favor?" Iruka rubbed the bridge of his nose, making the blonde notice how tired his boss and friend looked.
"Anything, sir."
"Would you mind waiting on some tables for me? We have some very important customers, and normally Kakashi serves them, but he hasn't shown up yet, and all the others are much too clumsy."
"Sir, yes, sir!" Naruto paused for a moment. "Um, if I may ask, which tables, sir?"
"Tables 22 and 25."
Naruto whistled. "Holy- who are those guys?"
"Table 22 is your normal crowd- Tsunade-sama, Jiraya-san, and Hokage-sama. Table 25, however, holds the Founder of Sound Inc., the CEO of Akatsuki, and the President of Suna Industries, along with their company."
"...wow. And you want me to serve them?"
The man sighed and sat down in a large leather chair behind his desk. "Naruto, don't tell anyone I said this, but aside from Kakashi you're the only other person I would let near those men. They're powerful, and they're dangerous, and they know it. I would do it myself, but..." he let his voice trail off, gesturing helplessly.
"Yeah." Naruto sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I know, sir."
Iruka got up again and paced in front of his door. "You can find an extra waiter's uniform in the back- I know you don't normally carry yours around with you. And be very respectful."
Naruto bounced up and flashed Iruka a thumbs-up. "Don't worry! I treat all our customers with respect, sir!"
Iruka smiled gently and patted Naruto's head. "I know. You're quite the favorite around here. And stop calling me sir."
The blonde walked out of the office backwards, with a wide grin. "I can't help it if everyone loves me, ma'am!" he answered, before doing a little hop-skip and turning around to avoid Iruka's fist.
A few minutes later he was garbed in the same uniform that all waiters and waitresses wore- navy blue slacks, a small white apron for a pencil and pad of paper, and a gold vest over a crisp white shirt (Iruka refused to make the waitresses wear skirts, to the girls' relief and the men's disappointment). Taking a deep breath, he walked out of the kitchen and towards his tables.
The first one was no problem. Sauntering up to Table 22, Naruto grinned. "Hello Tsunade-sama! Jiraya-san! Hokage-sama!" He bowed to them respectfully. "Do you want your regular drinks?"
Tsunade, a suave, beautiful business woman, scowled at Naruto. "There you are! Uzumaki, this idiot," she waved to a lecherous-looking man who had handsome silver hair, "insists on saying that the only good book is erotica, while I say that the only proper book worth reading is historical law. Who is right?"
Jiraya groaned. "Aw, Tsunade, leave the poor boy alone. Yes, yes, our usual."
"Alright then, ero-san," Naruto said cheerfully. "And by the way, I think both suck. Fiction is the only thing worth reading." He quickly walked away, ignoring the loud protests behind him. Tsunade and Jiraya often got into arguments about random things and always seemed to drag him into them.
"Ero-san?" Jiraya repeated quietly. "HA! I like it!" Beaming, he turned to the old man next to him. "That boy certainly is something, isn't he, Hokage-sama?"
The oldest man at the table nodded, as he watched the smiling blonde waiter/chef chat with a little boy sitting at a booth. "He certainly is."
Uchiha Sasuke quietly drummed his fingers on the table, watching his brother and business associates with half-lidded eyes. This was stupid. 'Why the hell did my brother drag me along to this fuckin' meeting?' he raged in his mind. 'I could be doing much better things, like studying for that test tomorrow. Is it that hard for him to remember that I'm a college student?' On the outside, however, he remained quiet and observant.
He had been introduced to those around the table before. Orochimaru-san, the snake-eyed man that looked like a pedophile; Kabuto, Orochimaru's assistant; Kazekage, the President of some company that was allies with Sound Inc.; Gaara, the murderous-looking, eyeliner-wearing, tatooed Kazekage's son and next in line for the position; and of course, Sasuke's brother Itachi, head of Akatsuki, and himself. At the moment the three older men were discussing some political battle raging between themselves and Konoha Industries. Sasuke dimly noted that Gaara looked just about as bored as Sasuke felt.
Or maybe he was stoned. He wouldn't be surprised if the heir to Suna Industries turned out to be a druggie.
"Excuse me, gentlemen." All conversation at the table ceased, and six pairs of eyes turned towards the young, blonde waiter.
Naruto began to blush from all the attention, and quickly bowed. "I'm sorry to interrupt you."
"Not at all," Kazekage said smoothly.
"Where's our usual waiter?" Kabuto asked the blonde boy, eyeing him with dislike. He didn't like newcomers.
Naruto was unable to see Kabuto's glare since he was still bowing. "Kakashi-san will be here as soon as possible, gentlemen." He had added the prefix of respect to Kakashi's name so that he wouldn't seem rude. "Until then, I will do my best as your waiter."
'Hmm...' "Stand up, boy." Itachi ordered. "What is your name?"
"Naruto, sir." Uzumaki straightened and smiled slightly at the group. "Is there anything I can get for you, sirs?"
Itachi quietly watched Naruto, making the teen very uncomfortable. The table remained silent for a minute.
Trying hard not to fidgit, Naruto's urge to talk finally broke through. "I'm sorry if I don't reach up to your expectations of a waiter, gentlemen, but I would like to do my job. If there is nothing you require of me, I have other customers to serve." As soon as it came out of his mouth, Naruto knew that it sounded disrespectful. He bowed again, just in case.
Although it did feel good to say it.
He expected the man with the long black hair and piercing eyes to demand that he be fired. He did not expect the man with the long black hair and piercing eyes to begin laughing.
"How refreshing!" Itachi chuckled. "Isn't he just delightful, Orochimaru-san?"
"Indeed," the older man said, gently touching his fingertips together and looking over them at the young blonde. "Very delightful."
Naruto began to feel the urge to punch the man. Did he think that he was a toy? Something to play with? Then Iruka's words came back to him.
"They're very powerful, they're very dangerous, and they know it."
'I can't believe I got myself into this,' Naruto thought, resigned. Kakashi should come relieve him of his job soon enough. He began to ask them again. "Gentlemen, I really must get back to my-"
"Oy! Uzumaki! Where's my drink!" hollered Jiraya from Table 22.
Forcing a smile at Table 25, he said sweetly, "Please excuse me for a moment." before backing up a little. Curling a fist, he shook it at the older man and yelled back, "Keep your pants on, ero-san! You're not my only customer!"
"How dare you speak like that to me! Do you know who I am?"
"Just shut up already! I'll bring you your poison in a minute!" Naruto shook his head and mutter to himself, "Damn egotistical jerk I'll show him a drink treating me like a frickin' bellboy put X-lax in his booze see how much he likes it the no-good, lazy, money-grubbing-"
"Ahem."
Naruto froze, before looking back to Table 25. 'Oh crud. How could I have forgotten them!' "Ah..heh heh, I'm terribly sorry about that, sir."
The men at the table continued to have that arrogant, we're-better-than-you look, except forthe black-haired man he had mentally nicknamed "Nympho",who had amusement as well as the pompous looks. "Cloneboy" (the young man who looked almost identical to Nympho) was giving him a different look- one of...curiousity? Nah.But punk-looking one with short red hair was giving him a look he didn't even want to interpret, and made Naruto want to run crying to his Mommy. 'Not that I have a Mommy to run to,' he reminded himself. 'I'll run to Zabuza instead. He's bigger and scarier than Iruka-nii-san.' He began to sweat uncharacteristically. 'Dammit. When's Kakashi gonna get here? I hate this, I want my kitchen, I want my stoves and happy people and business and loud noises and-'
"Naruto-kun!"
The blonde turned his head to see, with relief, a very tall man with spiky silver hair and one eye covered with an eyepatch and a mask over the lower half of his face come striding over to the table. "Kakashi-nii-san!" Naruto cried out, barely able to mask his relief. 'I guess it takes a freak to serve freaks.' He turned back and bowed to the business tycoons, making sure to bow extra low. "It was an honor, sirs."
"Naruto-kun, I'll take it from here." One of Kakashi's eyes twinkled.
'Where the hell were you?' Naruto mouthed, before practically running off.
"Why, hello Kakashi," Itachi greeted the waiter. "What a charming boy, that one. Is he new here?"
"No, Uchiha-san," Kakashi said respectfully. "He has worked here for quite awhile."
"He's very interesting, wouldn't you say so, Gaara?" said the Kazekage. Without waiting for his son to reply (not that the cold young man would have), he added, "Why haven't we seen him before?"
Kakashi's eye curved up in an enigmatic smile. "Well, Kazekage-san, you could say that he's more of a behind-the-scenes worker."
At this Sasuke's eyebrows rose. He had gotten many mixed impressions of the foreign-looking boy, but none that would point him to being a behind-the-scenes anything. "He can't be older than twenty," he finally said out loud.
Kakashi's "smile" seemed to become more proud. "You're correct, Uchiha-san. He's one of the youngest people on our staff. Almost like a little brother or cousin to everyone. Now, what can I get you gentlemen?"
"IRUKAAAAAAAA!" Naruto barged into the office.
Iruka leapt up, his eyes wide and startled. "Naruto? What is it?"
The blonde hurled himself into Iruka, sobbing. "I-it was so horrible! They almost ate me!"
Realizing what the blonde was talking about, the owner sighed and patted Naruto's hair in an effort to calm him down. "Now, now, Naruto, it couldn't have been that bad..."
"Oh yeah?" Naruto sniffed, rubbed his tear-filled, baby-blue eyes and glared at Iruka. "That one dude with black hair and freaky red eyes kept looking at me like I was a triple-chocolate cake for his appetizer! And one guy with silver hair kept glaring at me! And then...and then..." he shuddered at the memory. "The redhead dude...he's really creepy..." He sobbed again and buried his head into Iruka's stomach. "I don't wanna go out there again, Iruka-nii-san! Don't make meee!"
Iruka hugged Naruto. "Just...go in the kitchen. Tell Zabuza-san that I said you could help out. Clean dishes, take out the trash, whatever needs to be done before your shift."
"THANK YOU IRUKA-NII-SAN!"
After Naruto left, Iruka just shook his head and smiled softly. 'Naruto. Can't live with him, and you can't shoot him.'