Alright, so right now, I've got absolutely no inspiration. But what the hell, I'm gonna wing it anyway! But I just wanna say sorry ahead of time if this chapter really sucks (which it probably will).

ebonywolfspirit-084: Yay! I'm glad it made you laugh! Here's the fifth chapter!

TigerGoddes: Um, sorry, but I don't think Jak's gonna keep his hands off of Torn… And yes, I did hear about the new game! I'm kinda pissed off about it though; the guy who did Damas's voice in the third game is gonna be doing Torn's voice in the new one. THAT SERIOUSLY SUCKS!

Kiriona: Like I said before, you've gained more respect from me for taking the review I sent you so well. Another cookie for you! (hands you cookie)

lioness of Darkness: Hehe… Good chickens. I've updated! See? Hehe… (scoots away nervously)

Meowen: Whee, thank you! I couldn't help but put that Austin Powers part in…

Ashley: (blushes) Oh, I'm sure it's not the funniest thing… But thank you anyway! I'm glad you thought it was so funny!

Beastfire: Um, yeah. You might wanna watch out for the yakkows… They're pretty temperamental… Thankies for the review!

Gothicjak: I'm sorry I ended it so soon, but my dad walked into the room. And I've already told you guys how close-minded my father is… (rolls eyes)

Anime-Artest: o.O (gives you the Heimlich maneuver)

shadows-of-flame: You think it's awesome? Really? Yay! Thank you! XD

Raven Cactuar: A cookie for you because you recognized where I got the kung-fu yakkows from! (hands you cookie) And your welcome… Oh well. At least I got to relax in a nice hot tub most of the time!

A Bloody Puppet: (nods) Yes, doesn't it suck? I wish my dad hadn't found out… But what can ya do, right? Here's the next chapter!

Not Tellin': Thanks for the review!

M-python-girl: (stares at legions nervously) Please… Don't sick the rabbits on me… Or the religious fanatics…

yes for 12: -sweatdrops as she watches Errol- Oh dear. Um, you're welcome! Glad you liked the chapter! Nah, no girl/girl relationships. Can't write those. –shudders- I have nothing against gay girls, but I just can't write or read yuri.

Torn's Little Problem

Chapter 5: It's Getting Hot In Here

"…So we're going to have to sneak around to the back and take them by surprise," Ashelin explained, using a pointer to point things out on the map hanging on the wall.

The Shadow had called yet another meeting to discuss the plan for taking an eco-mining sight by surprise. Everyone was present; Torn, Jak, Daxter, Tess, the Shadow, Sig, Jinx, Kor, and of course, the Kid. Of course, her mind wasn't really on the task at hand—and neither were two other's minds apparently.

The redheaded woman watched silently as Torn and Jak snuck gazes at each other when they were sure the other wasn't looking. This was bothering her. What the hell was going on with them?

She sighed. This was stressing her out. Why was she even worried about it? She and Torn weren't going out anymore. She felt nothing but sisterly affection for him—right? Right.

But as she watched the two men catch each other's eyes and smile at each other (though you could barely tell Torn was smiling), she felt the tiniest pricks of jealousy. She and Torn had never done anything like that when they were going out!

"Is that all?" the Shadow asked loudly, breaking into her thoughts. Ashelin looked up and nodded.

"Yes."

The aging rebel nodded. "Good. Then this meeting has now officially come to an end. We will attack the sight in exactly three days. Everyone get some sleep, and we will discuss ways on get in tomorrow."

Everyone stood and stretched, talking in low voices. Ashelin sighed and rubbed her temples. She barely acknowledged Tess as the blonde bade her goodbye before leaving with Sig, Jinx, and Daxter (who had decided to 'guard Tess' for the night, and possibly get a little booze as he did so).

"Ashelin?"

The redhead looked up to see her ex staring at her with just the faintest glimmer of concern in his ice-blue eyes.

"Are you ok?" he asked softly, placing one hand on her shoulder.

Ashelin forced a smile on her face. "I'm fine. It's just a little headache."

She mentally winced. Bad lie. Torn obviously knew she wasn't telling the truth, but he nodded anyway. He knew from experience that if Ashelin didn't want to tell someone something, she wouldn't tell them till she wanted to.

The redhead sighed and set the pointer down. The Shadow walked up to her.

"That was a very good plan, my dear," the short elf said, staring intently at her through those crazy glasses. "I was very impressed. However, I couldn't help but notice that there was something else on your mind. Care to tell…?"

Ashelin sighed again. Life was just too hard sometimes. As much as she wanted to say there was nothing wrong, she knew that she wasn't fooling anybody.

"I'm worried about Torn," she confided softly, watching her ex converse with Jak over in the corner. The Shadow raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"Torn? Why? Is there something wrong with him?"

Ashelin shook her head. "No… Not really… At least, I don't think so anyway…" She sighed and shook her head. "It's complicated.

The Shadow chuckled. "All things in life are complicated, my dear. Some things just make more since than others." The elf placed on hand on the troubled woman's arm. "Come now, sit down and tell me what's troubling you."

The two rebels sat down on the nearest bunk, and Ashelin proceeded to explain her feelings.

"I don't know if you've noticed this, but Torn and Jak seem to have gotten pretty close," she began slowly. The Shadow nodded.

"Yes, they do seem to be on very friendly terms, don't they?" he said thoughtfully. Ashelin nodded.

"Yes. But you see, I think… This may seem kind of silly, but I think they're more than just friends," she muttered, studying her shoes intently. The Shadow's face darkened a bit.

"You think they love each other?" he asked bluntly. Refusing to meet his eyes, Ashelin gave a tiny nod. The Shadow folded his arms.

"What's so bad about that?" he asked. Ashelin looked up in surprise.

"Don't you get it? They might be in LOVE. Two men might be in LOVE. With EACH OTHER."

The sage nodded. "Yes. I understand that. But what I don't understand is why you have a problem with it. Now, I know your father has placed a strict band on homosexuality, but I clearly remember you stating how much you hated that law. Why have you changed your opinions now?"

The redhead lowered her gaze back to the floor, shrugging weakly.

"I… I don't know."

The sage chuckled. "Well, I think I know. You're jealous."

Ashelin's head snapped up. She glared at the old elf, anger coursing through her veins. How dare he accuse her of jealousy?

"I am not jealous!" she said through clenched teeth. "I just don't think it's right for Torn to be in love with someone else!" Her eyes widened as she realized what she just said, and she quickly closed her mouth.

The Shadow waved his finger, as if she was a child and he was scolding her.

"That sounds like jealousy to me, my dear."

Ashelin lowered her head, shamefaced. "I know," she sighed.

The Shadow patted her arm sympathetically. "I know how hard it can be to let someone go. I was young and in love once too, you know. But if you keep holding on to someone who's already put the past behind them and moved on, you'll only succeed in hurting yourself. Possibly each other."

Ashelin didn't respond, choosing instead to pick at a stray thread on her pants leg. The Shadow sighed.

"You have to let Torn go, Ashelin. You have to let go of the past, and look to the future. Torn has found someone else. If he loves Jak—"

"He doesn't love Jak," Ashelin retorted softly. "Torn isn't gay. I know he isn't." The sage shook his head.

"Ashelin, please. Don't make this difficult! You have to face the facts; Torn is homosexual, and—"

"No!" Ashelin shouted, standing up abruptly. Torn and Jak stopped talking and looked at the normally calm, cool, and collected woman.

"It's not true!" Ashelin spat, glaring at the Shadow. "I'll prove to you that it's not true! I will!"

And with that, the redhead stormed out of the Hideout.

The three men stared after her in silence for a moment.

"What was that all about?" Jak finally asked, looking quite confused. The sage shook his head, locking the door quickly.

"It was nothing, Jak. Don't worry about it. You and Torn just get some sleep… Crazy girl… Hope she doesn't do anything stupid…" Muttering to himself, the sage lifted one of the posters and exited through the trick door into the hallway to his room.

Jak and Torn stared after him silently for a bit.

"Everyone's going crazy," Torn finally decided, voicing his thoughts out loud. Jak nodded.

"Yup. It seems so."

Then they looked at each other. A sly smile slowly spread across Jak's face.

"Looks like we're all alone now…" he stated softly. Torn's face was graced with a similar (though much more scary) smile.

"Looks like it," he agreed as he began walking around the bed to the blonde.

"No missions tonight…" Jak continued, watching his lover approach.

"No more meetings…" Torn added, only a few feet away.

"No interruptions…" the blonde added, his eyes getting darker as the older elf approached.

"No annoying rat…" the redhead said dryly, he and the blonde now only a few inches apart.

Jak opened his mouth, probably to defend his friend, but Torn didn't give him the chance. The redhead crushed his mouth against the blonde's, pushing the younger elf against the wall roughly.

Jak groaned, wrapping his arms around the older elf's torso, battling for dominance. Torn, however, would have none of that. HE was the dominant one. Jak didn't seem to realize this yet.

The redhead smirked. 'Time for a little lesson,' he thought smugly.

The blonde groaned loudly, his eyes rolling back into his head as the older elf began to nip at the blonde's neck.

Torn inwardly smirked as he listened to the blonde groan. He continued to nip the blonde's neck, sucking at the skin as he did so. After a few minutes of this, the redhead (or is it brunette?) changed tactics.

"Torn!" the blonde gasped as the older elf's tongue traced the red bite marks he had left behind. Jak gripped the older elf's shoulders tightly, feeling his knees buckle.

The tattooed elf moved from the blonde's neck to his ears.

Jak closed his eyes and moaned as Torn traced the shell of his ear with his tongue languidly. The older elf the switched back to his earlier tactic, delicately nipping the sensitive flesh of the blonde's ear.

Mind clouded with lust, Jak quickly yanked the older elf down onto the bunk. The blonde rolled over so that he was on top.

He smiled toothily at the older elf before getting his revenge. He began his own onslaught of nips and kisses on the tattooed elf's neck. Torn groaned, his eyes closed in pleasure.

The two then proceeded to do things that married couples usually do in the privacy of their bedrooms, but I cannot tell you exactly WHAT they did because then the rating would change to NC-17.

So let's just say that the two of them… Uh… Wrestled. Yes, that's it! They wrestled in the nude and… Uh… Played horsie… Yeah… Let's just flash forward to the next morning, shall we? You agree? Yes, that's a good idea…

Cough… Uh, right. So it's the next morning.

The Shadow woke up in a grand old temper. Stalkingthrough the trick door, he entered the main room to find Jak clearing the table of all maps, cups, pens, etc.

"Good morning, Samos!" Jak said cheerily—well, he said it in the most cheery way he could, which isn't saying much…

The Shadow scowled. Oh great. The blonde was in a disgustingly good mood. That made the sage even grumpier.

"What's so good about it?" he grumbled, stalking towards his seat.

"Looks like somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed," the blonde said dryly. The sage grunted. Jak shrugged.

"Well come over here and help me set the table for breakfast, and maybe you'll get in a better mood," the blonde ordered, setting down plates, cups, forks, and other eating utensils. The Shadow's eye twitch.

"And since when do you people eat breakfast under this roof?" he snapped. Jak shrugged again.

"We don't. But Torn was in a pretty good mood this morning, and he decided that he'd make pancakes, so…" The blonde began to study the table as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. The sage looked closely, and saw that the blonde's face was beet red.

'What?' the sage wondered in confusion. 'Why the hell is Jak blush—' His eyes widened. 'Oh Mar, they did IT. THAT'S what all those thumping noises were… And the groaning…' The sage closed his eyes and shuddered.

In all honesty, he had just thought that Jak was going through a bad case of diarrhea, because of the groans. Now, however, the old elf was starting to see the light.

'How the heck do two men do that anyway?' the sage wondered, shuddering again.

The kitchen door opened, and Torn walked into the room carrying a plate of warm, fluffy golden pancakes.

"Mornin'," he grunted to the Shadow. The sage felt his shock fading as his bad temper returned. Torn only wished someone 'good morning' if he woke up in a good mood. So Jak was telling the truth. But Torn must've been in a REALLY good mood if he had made breakfast.

'Well, the noises didn't stop till about 5:00 this morning,' the sage reminded himself.

"Hmph! I'm not hungry!" the Shadow declared out loud. "I'll be in my office working on plans!" He stomped towards the door, his head barely visible above the edge of the table.

Once he reached the door to his office, he yanked it open and stormed in, but not before whirling around to face the two elves, shouting, "DON'T BOTHER ME! KEEP IT DOWN TODAY SO I CAN THINK!"

He slammed the door shut. Torn and Jak stared at the door, blinking.

"Guess he doesn't want any pancakes," Jak said finally with a tiny shrug. Torn nodded, and the two proceeded to sit down and have a romantic little meal for two…

That is, until Daxter came running in…

"HELLO, LOVEBIRDS!" the tiny ottsel shouted at the top of his lungs as he skipped through the door. The two elves in question jumped about six feet into the air.

"Daxter!" Jak shouted, trying to regain his breath. Said ottsel, however, was unable to reply, because he was too busy being throttled by Torn.

"What the hell did you call us, rat?" the tattooed elf hissed, squeezing the ottsel's throat tightly.

"Choking—not breathing—need oxygen—" the ottsel managed to gasp. Jak grabbed the older elf's arm.

"Torn, let him go," the blonde commanded. Torn looked down at the shorter elf, his face contorted in anger.

"Did you hear what he called us? How'd he figure it out?" he whispered fiercely.

Jak shrugged. "I told him," he replied meekly.

THUMP.

"Air…" Daxter wheezed, now sprawled out on the floor. Torn was now glaring at the blonde.

"You told him?" he spat.

"He came right out and asked! What was I supposed to do? Lie?" the blonde retorted, getting angry as well.

"YES! You should have lied!" Torn snapped.

"Well, I didn't!" Jak retorted, folding his arms with a pout.

'Not the pout…' the tattooed elf groaned mentally. That pout always… Er… Let's just say it got him 'in the mood.'

"Hey, Tattooed Wonder," a now recovered Daxter said, hopping onto the table.

"What?" the redhead growled, preparing himself for the taunts he was sure would come.

"Look," Daxter said, trying to sound reasonable. "I don't care if you and Jak go out. Just as long as you treat him right, I'm happy. Ok? No, I'm not gonna make fun of ya," he added, seeing the look on Torn's face.

"I just want Jak to be happy. And though I can't say much about his taste in men… Which he REALLY needs to work on, by the way—" this caused Torn to growl and Jak to roll his eyes "—but… If being with you makes him happy, then it's alright with me."

"And…?" Jak prodded, giving the ottsel a stern look. Daxter scuffed his foot against the table, looking very much like a sulky kid.

"And… I promise I won't make any comments about the two of you goin' out," the ottsel added grudgingly with a pout.

"Whatever," Torn muttered, crossing his arms. Daxter rolled his eyes.

"Are you sure you want this guy?" the ottsel asked his friend, shaking his furry head in disbelief.

"Daxter…" Jak warned.

"Alright, alright. I get it! Sheesh," Daxter muttered. Then he spotted the half eaten food on the table.

"PANCAKES!" the little ottsel shouted happily before pouncing.

Torn's eye began to twitch violently as he watched the rat eat HIS pancakes from HIS plate. Jak shook his head.

"I'll take care of the dishes," the blonde sighed, gathering the empty plates from the table before going to the kitchen.

Torn waited till he was sure the younger elf was out of sight. Then—

"ACK!" gasped Daxter as he was yanked up by the neck.

"I've had enough your stupid mouth," the redhead hissed, squeezing the ottsel's neck tightly as he stormed to the door.

"Pain…" replied the ottsel feebly. Torn mentally sighed. Sadly, he could not kill the rat. Jak would never forgive. However, that didn't mean he couldn't kick the rat's squirrelly ass out!

Yanking the door open, he threw the rat outside, and was quite satisfied when he saw the ottsel's tiny body collide against the side of the building opposite to them.

The redhead closed the door with a slam, feeling very triumphant. Whistling (yes, he was whistling. This is another sign that the world as we know it is coming to an end), the redhead strutted over to his desk.

Once he reached his desk, he opened the drawer and pulled out the maps that Jak had put away. He rolled the maps out again, then reached back into his drawer and pulled out some plans, which he looked over. After five minutes of reading, the redhead smiled slyly.

'Well well well,' an tiny, evil little voice in the back of his mind said. 'Looks like there's no missions today. Poor little Jak has nothing to do…'

Torn calmly placed the papers down on the desk and stood. With a twisted little grin on his face, the tattooed elf headed to the kitchen.

"Oh, Jak…"