Lust becomes a cashier at McDonald's. I stink at summaries.

Disclaimer: I don't own FullMetal Alchemist, I don't own McDonald's either. I wouldn't want to own that place anyway... I wish I owned Lust though :-)

"Spoken"
'Quoted by another character'
Thoughts
EMPHASIZED

Out of the frying pan and into the fire:
Lust gets a job at McDonald's...

Lust heaves a sigh. "I am SOO bored..." she says, walking down the streets of Central. She comes across a mall. "Ooh, that looks nice. I was getting tired of wearing nothing but black anyway..." she said quietly walking into the store. She walks around a bit before walking to the clothes she likes. "This would make my bum look big... hm, horizontal stripes make me look fat... diagonal stripes make it look like I have big love-handles... THIS... I would look good with this." She pulls it off the hangers and walks to the dressing room.

She pulls off her original dress and pulls the new one on. She looks in the mirror. "WOW! Red is MY color... I'm ditchin' black, I'm going to set a new trend with this..." she said, changing back into her old outfit. She steps out and walks towards the cashier. The old man looks up at her. "Yes, Miss, what can I do for you?" he asks. Lust smiles, "I'm going to purchase this dress here." Lust sets the dress on the counter. The cashier scans it.

"That'll be 50..." he said. Lust smiles, "Cheap, here you go..." giving him $50. The man clears his throat. "No, 50 GRAND," he says. Lust gasps and stares at him with wide eyes. "50 GRAND!" she exclaims. The man nods. "If you don't have the money, get a job at the McDonald's over there..." he said, pointing at the restaurant across the street. Lust sighs. Uhh! I hate working at places like that! The last time I worked as a waitress I was almost kidnapped... Lust thought to herself. She steps out of the store and walks across the street. Almost getting hit by cars and trucks, but still moving at a slow pace.

"Hey, Little Lady, you wanna come for a ride?" asks a man driving by. Lust gives him a look of disgust. "Shut up, I'm not in a good mood man..." Lust says scornfully. The man still eyes her. "Oooh! Such an attitude! You're my kind of woman..." he says. Lust walks to the side of his car. "If you leave me alone, I promise to leave your car in one piece..." she threatens, scratching her nails against the car's hood. The man's eyes open wide. Lust's fingers extend, and slash through the shiny car's exterior. she smiles to herself and walks into the McDonald's. She looks around. "I need to get a job!" she shouts.

Everybody turns around to see her. The manager can be easily seen through the crowd. "You would like a job? GOOD! We have A LOT of customers today..." she says. Taking Lust's arm and pulling her into her office. She closes the door on the angry customers. "Okay, here's your uniform, go out there and take orders!" she commands, pushing Lust outside. She walks into the bathroom and changes. "Darn it, horizontal stripes make me look fat! I HATE this stupid uniform, it doesn't even look good on ME! And I look good in everything..." she complained, stepping outside.

She sighs, and she walks behind the register. "Uh, hello, this is mcDonald's, can I take your order?" she asks smoothly. Scar walks up. "That scarred man!" she cries. Scar frowns, "The humonculus Lust... give me a pepsi... sugar free..." he said roughly. She frowns, No wonder he's never happy, he never takes his sugar... "Why not a milk-shake?" she asks seductively. Scar nearly turns red. "No, I'm lactose intolrerant... give me my Pepsi!" he cries. Lust turns around. "Man, I hate this guy..." she complained, storming off towards the back to get a Pepsi. Sugar free of course.

"Hmm... I wonder..." she says, looking at a bag of sugar. She fills the cup all the way up with Pepsi, and pours sugar into it. HALF the bag of sugar went in. She stirs it in, and it still looks like there's sugar in it. "He won't notice!" she says happily with fox ears coming out of her head. She takes the fully-sugar-loaded Pepsi to the Ishbalan man. "That's $1.55..." she says with a sly smile. He throws her the money. "Keep the change," he growls, storming off and sitting at the table. Lust can barely contain herself, and she watches Scar from behind a stack of dirty trays.

Scar takes a large sip, and spits it out at the person in front of him. Roy Mustang. His eyes twitch, and he turns around and gives Scar a dirty look. Scar smiles. Wait, Scar smiled? "I'm soweee!" Scar says. Lust explodes into laughter, No wonder he doesn't want to have sugar! It makes him hyper! Hilarious... Lust continues to watch. Roy stands up, his hair soaked with sugary Pepsi. "YOU... the Alchemist Serial Killer... how could you? YOU TOTALLED MY HAIR!" Roy said, with tears filling his eyes.

Scar pouts, "Aw, I'm soweee... I didn't mean to..." he said innocently. He stands up and walks over to Mustang and gives him a hug. Lust walks back to the register. "Morons..." she says under her breath. Then a strange green-haired kid walks up to her. "Envy? What are you doing here?" she asks. Envy gasps, "QUIET! I'm hiding from those Crazy Obsessed Fans of mine! They want to tear me apart!" Lust laughs. He points outside. Hundreds of Crazy Obsessed Fans are stalking around outside. The COF walk around the restaurant, not even looking in.

Envy sighs. "Uh, I thought for sure I was gonna die..." Lust smacks him in the back of the head. "Idiot, if you wanted to, you could have shape-shifted into some other Anime character with no fans..." she suggests. Envy smacks himself in the forhead. "WHY didn't I think of that!" he asks, and runs outside in Scar's body, and the COF attacks Envy (In Scar's Body) shouting, "THIS IS FOR NINA!" they yell, ripping Envy apart. They look at the Envy pieces they're holding. "Uh, that wasn't the real Scar..." one of them says. They walk away, looking for Shou Tucker.

Meanwhile, the real Scar was sitting in a corner hiding from the COF sucking his thumb. "MOMMY!" he cries. Lust resumes her job. "Oi... so annoying. Hey, is that... no it couldn't be... GREED!" she exclaims. Lust hides her face with a red tray. Greed walks up to her. "Hey Babe... give me a milk-shake..." he said, with razor sharp teeth. She chokes her words, "We're out of those mister..." she says quietly. Greed slams his fist into the counter. "I WANT A MILK-SHAKE! GIMME A MILK-SHAKE! GIMME! GIMME! GIMME!" he cries. Lust slaps him.

"I said we were out of those SIR..." Lust says sternly. "I hate this place..." Greed says, walking off. Lust sighs. "Glad he just left like that... hey, it's Maes Hughes... the annoying man who always talks about his..." "That's my daughter Elysia! Isn't she precious!" he continues, showing Lust the pictures. Scar walks up to them. "HOW CUUUUTE!" Scar shouts into their conversation, nearly blowing Maes away. "Isn't she cutest thing you ever did see?" he asks Scar. Scar nods with a big goofy grin. I shouldn't have laced his Pepsi with the half bag of sugar... Lust thought regretfully.

The two walk and sit down at a table, talking about how adorable Hughes's daughter was. Lust lets out a sigh. "I hate this job..." she says. "ALFONSE!" Winry screams, hitting the metal suit of armor with her wrench. "Winry! STOP!" Al cries. Lust walks over to them. "Hey I know you..." Lust says, as Al and Winry see her. Winry folds her arms over her chest, "You KNOW this woman Al? WHO is she?" she asks suspiciously. Al stumbles over his words, "Uh, you see, we met at lab 5... uh... before we left...?... Uh..." he said.

Lust grabs Winry's wrench and hits Al. "STUPID! IF ANYONE FINDS OUT I'M A HUMONCULUS, I'LL GET IN TROUBLE!" she shouts in Al's face. Winry looks at Lust. "Humonculus? You're one of the humonculi!" she asks. Lust shakes her head. "NO! I was just kidding about that..." she said with a half-fake grin. She walks back behind the register. Almost gave myself away there... she thought to herself. She looks up. "Hello Lust," said a familiar voice. "Sloth?" Lust looks up and standing there is Sloth, smiling.

"Geez, it's been a long time Sloth..." Lust says. "Yes it has... anyway, can you get me a few BigMacs?" she asks. Lust nods. "A FEW BIGMACS OVER HERE!" Lust screams into the intercom. A man walks over, with some BigMacs and hands the tray to Lust. Lust hands Sloth the tray. "Here you go Lust. Hey, you should ask for another unifrom, yellow and red stripes aren't good on you..." Sloth says with a smile, handing Lust the money. Lust smiles, "I should, I'll see you later, and hey, if you see Greed, kill him for me, okay?" she asks. "Sure, I'll kill him," Sloth says, with a smile, and walks out.

Lust looks towards the direction she heard a crash. Scar. Apparently, he was drunk from the sugar, and fell into the dirty tray stack. "Woooooieee..." he said quietly. Scar looks up. Lust had her arms folded over her chest. "Scarred man... you've caused enough trouble..." she says, slapping him in the back of the head. He hiccups a drunk hiccup. "You are sooooo meeean Lusteee... wooooiee... Oi, I'm tired..." he says, falling asleep at Lust's feet. Scar continues to sleep soundly. Lust nudges his side with her foot. He lets out a soft drowsy moan.

She kicks him in the side, "OW!" Scar said, waking up from his sleep. "Who did that!" he commanded, seeming to be sober from the sugar. Scar points at Maes, "Did you kick me!" he growled. Maes looked away, "Nooo..." he squeaked. Scar points at Al and Winry, "DID YOU?" he demands. Al and Winry shake thier heads. Scar walsk outside and points at the Envy pieces one by one, "Okay, I KNOW one of you kicked me, which of you was it!" he cries. Ooookay, I take back what I said about him being sober... Lust thought, locking the door.

Scar blows up some more Envy pieces. Lust returns to her job and sighs. "IDIOTS!" she shouts. Barry the Chopper walks up to her. "Hey, miss, give em some people for me to CHOP!" he says. Lust frowns. "#66... I think I'll kill you now, you are worthless to us, so take this..." Lust chops the Chopper up with her fingers. The hollow armor falls to the ground. Then the manager walks up behind her. "Lust?" she asks. Lust turns around, "Yes, what is it?" The Manager sighs, "McDonald's workers are not allowed to chop its customers... they aren't allowed to pour sugar in the customer's Pepsi... they aren't allowed to lock them outside... and they aren't allowed to hit them with wrenches. Lust, you ARE the WEAKEST link... good-bye..." she says.

Lust stares at her in silence. "WHAT!" she cries. "Do you mean I'm fired?" she asks. The manager nods her head. "Yes... you are fired Lust..." she said. Lust frowns and walks off. STUPID WOMAN! Wait... I can just beat up the cashier at the store to get my dress in the first place! I swear, when I get home, I'm going blonde like that Winry chick... Lust thought.

At the Mall-----

"Give me the dress" she growls. "Huh? You need to buy it miss..." he says, looking at her long razor sharp fingers. "LISTEN OLD MAN, I'VE SUFFERED AN ENTIRE DAY IN MC'DONALD'S... I need that dress!" she cries. The man nods and hands her the dress. "Thank you..." she says. See Lusty Gal? Why didn't you do that earlier? If you were more assertive, you wouldn't have to lived through Winry, Al, Greed, Scar, HYPER-ACTIVE Scar, Maes and Roy... she thought to herself as she walked home

END-----

Was that good? No flames please. Tell me if I made grammatical errors or if I mispelled something. I just love Lust, she looks like Yumi from Rurouni Kenshin. I think so anyway. I don't know what the deal was with the hyper Scar, but I didn't really have any ideas I mind... (-.-)zzzZZZ I am sleeeepy! Buh-Bye.

Kuro Murasaki